r/mapporncirclejerk • • 22h ago

Truly, factually, 8 hours

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u/Nikoladge 21h ago

Until they find out it takes 34 hours to cross Western Australia, going from Kununurra to Perth

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u/Pavlovsdong89 20h ago

I've never had to drive through Australia, but I know for a fact that driving across Texas is a tougher trip because it requires willingly spending time in Texas.

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u/Jimsredditing 20h ago

Trust me, no cunt wants to be in western Australia... Unless they yearn for the mines of course. At least there's good money in it.

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u/Moeperino 19h ago

The beaches are quite beautiful too

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u/MindCorrupt 18h ago edited 18h ago

Lets play a game

This bloke is either from the state with the cyclones, rain and XXXX which is just 3 of the best ways to ruin your weekend. The one with the bridge and the ugly crowded tourist killing beach or the one that lives in that other cities shadow and its raining in that shadow.

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u/Jimsredditing 18h ago

None of the above, I actually live good ol' shit hole South Australia.

Granted there's definitely some interesting things in western Australia, which I am learning about during my stay here, but I just doesn't hold a candle to QLD, NSW, VIC, and maybe SA but probably not.

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u/MindCorrupt 18h ago edited 18h ago

...You're from SA and you're hanging shit on WA?

Those are states with better cities not better states. Except SA, where it's a worst state with a worst city. With people who make terrible visitors.

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u/jonny24eh 16h ago

It's either "worse", or it's "the worst". 

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u/BlatantConservative 20h ago

East Texas was cool, Czech and Mexican food, giant rockets.

West Texas was one of the flattest most desolate places I've ever seen.

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u/toaster192 19h ago

Can you recall some specific places or foods from the Czech stuff? As a czech I'm very curious how that looks. (I think I've only heard of Koláč - Kolach being rather popular in some places)

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u/BlatantConservative 18h ago

Oh they call it Kolache here, pronounced "kool ach eey" lmao.

I don't remember the name of anything I ate because it was just random off highway stuff. And my personal rule is if there's something I can't pronounce on the menu that's what I order. It was all good though.

There were pancake things I had for breakfast, and some kind of larger pork dumpling thing.

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u/texanmason 18h ago

We eat a lot of klobásníky in addition to kolaches. Czexan culture is pretty big in Central Texas. We even have a Czech Heritage Society (and a separate thing called the Slavonic Benevolent Order of the State of Texas) and a bunch of towns put on Czech cultural festivals every year. We have a few thousand people that still speak Moravian Czech, but Texas Czech is regrettably dying out (just like Texasdeutsch).

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u/toaster192 18h ago

klobásníky

Intersting! To be honest I don't think I've heard of those before which is funny because the the czech wiki for those says they are popular in texas and the part of Czechia where I'm from.

Thanks!

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u/Snobolski 17h ago

There's a town called West that's north of Waco on Interstate 35 that has a lot of Tex-Czech businesses. The Texas kolaches would probably be unrecognizable to someone from Czechia.

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u/Dyslexicpig 18h ago

West Texans' EEG results are one of the flattest, most desolate places.

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u/Snobolski 17h ago

Czech and Mexican food, giant rockets.

That's not "East Texas." East Texas is pine trees, churches everywhere and undisguised racism. Undisguised like "the truck stops sell racist-black-people-caricature salt and pepper shakers out in the open." Yes MAGA too but that's just a new fad.

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u/Deprisonne 19h ago

Australia is also safer to drive through. The wildlife leaves you alone in your car, texans shoot you for making a turn in their driveway.

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u/nagrom7 18h ago

Australia is also safer to drive through. The wildlife leaves you alone in your car

Not true, either it's Kangaroos who just love to jump out in front of cars, which can total them if you hit one at speed, or it's spiders and their leading cause of death, jumping out at you from inside the car while you're driving.

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u/guessesurjobforfood 17h ago

That one video of the spider squeezing into the car at a traffic light still makes my skin crawl every time I see it. This was the first one I found, the edit is a bit cringe but you can see it multiple times lol

https://reddit.com/link/pgow5zf/video/jsr5njeavfvh1/player

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u/nagrom7 17h ago

The worst ones are the guys who hide behind the sun shield only to drop into your lap or face, or crawl right across the windscreen.

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u/brauchefeuerr 16h ago

You mean they Jump at you while you Drive wtf

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u/nagrom7 14h ago

They have been known to yes. Huntsmen spiders are the most dangerous spiders in the country not because of their venom (they're non-venomous and quite passive), but because they have a habit of hiding in people's cars only to pop out while driving and causing an accident because the driver freaks out.

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u/Jimsredditing 20h ago

Trust me, no cunt wants to be in western Australia... Unless they yearn for the mines of course. At least there's good money in it.

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u/Jinxedchef 17h ago

"If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell," - General Philip Sheridan

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u/Onyxxx_13 17h ago

Texas is great though as long as you skip Austin and Dallas.

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u/hates_stupid_people 19h ago edited 19h ago

Don't bring up Australia to Texans, they don't like how it's bigger in all their favorite fun facts.

For example, the biggest cow farm in the US is the King Ranch in Texas at 825k acres(3.3km2). Anna Creek Station in Australia is almost 5.9m acres(23.8km2). It has more area than Texas has fresh water surfaces(~7.3k miles2(~19k km2)).

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u/texanmason 18h ago

It has more area than Texas has fresh water surfaces(~7.3k miles2(~19k km2)).

to be fair, Texas is kind of known for not having a lot of fresh water surfaces. we only have one natural lake in the state; all the other ones are man-made.

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u/Snobolski 17h ago

As a Texan, it doesn't rile me that a sort-of continent is bigger than our state.

Remember, Australia, Pluto was a planet once. You could be relegated to "large island" without warning.

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u/hates_stupid_people 16h ago

Yeah, it's mostly a dig at the die-hard folk. Most reasonable Texans know that Australia is almost as wide as mainland US.

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u/barrsftw 19h ago

Ya but Texas is the biggest country in the world

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u/bluewing 17h ago

Yeah, but nobody want to drive across Australia.

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u/BythsomeOurHeartsAre 20h ago

I drove Newcastle to Melbourne in a day. ~14 hours.

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u/nagrom7 18h ago

I can't even drive to my own state capital in 14 hours, and I'm not in the middle of nowhere either.

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u/WestCoastSide 17h ago

38 hours to Augusta!

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u/Dorkamundo 17h ago

That's nothing, you can't even drive from Togiak, AK to Wainright, AK.

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u/marvinrabbit 16h ago

And the traffic is a nightmare passing 12 cars.

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u/Owain-X 16h ago

Alaskans meanwhile know they'd win the debate if only there were roads between the places.