r/mapporncirclejerk • • 22h ago

Truly, factually, 8 hours

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15.2k Upvotes

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670

u/SpareRelation9363 22h ago

People in russia driving for 30 hours just to be still in siberia

266

u/Bot1-The_Bot_Meanace 22h ago

Pretty sure if you take the train you can make that Germany crossing in 30 hours as well

125

u/Domovie1 Average Mercator Projection Enjoyer 22h ago

Deutschebahn: yesterday’s train tomorrow!

2

u/The_God_Kvothe 18h ago

DB: It's not late if yesterdays train arrives tomorrow.

2

u/knoxiknoxx 17h ago

When some guys made a song about it, you know it's bad.

1

u/insured_morron 9h ago

Deutschebahn: Gestererzug morgens! (Did I say that richtig [im still learning nicht schießen])

24

u/Raulr100 18h ago

It's always crazy seeing Germans complain about their trains when they seem like fucking super fast luxury compared to our Balkan trains.

20

u/Bot1-The_Bot_Meanace 18h ago

Not to knock you guys but saying that the country with the 3rd highest gdp in the world has better trains than the Balkan seems like a really low bar to clear. It's also that the Deutsche Bahn of the 70s was substantially better than what we have now, maybe apart from the bullet trains, which are hilariously expensive and comparatively slow regardless.

10

u/Raulr100 18h ago

I mean I get it but it's also a funny culture shock.

2

u/markjohnstonmusic 16h ago edited 16h ago

DB is the boyfriend that isn't actively strangling you right now. I live in Mannheim, so every ICE I take starts with 40 minutes of 150kmh.

14

u/Stardustger 21h ago

I've actually tried that it took longer because every single train missed its connecting train.

11

u/Bot1-The_Bot_Meanace 21h ago

That... Somehow doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Iirc many people were traveling to Sylt for fun when the 9€ ticket was still a thing

5

u/DjayRX 21h ago

I mean, unless you work there, something is wrong if you're going to Sylt but not for fun.

3

u/Tainmere_ 17h ago

Sounds like that's what OP did due to multiple trains missing their connections. If you take the ICE, then Munich to Hamburg would be a bit under 6 hours and you wouldn't have to change trains at any time.

Going border to border from Garmisch-Partenkirchen to Flensburg would increase that to ~11 hours due to the regional trains being slower and ~40 mins layovers each in Munich and Hamburg.

1

u/Tomblerone 14h ago

That's assuming that the ICE actually shows up that day.

2

u/Hans-Dieter-Brigitte 20h ago

Many people were travelling with regional trains because that were the only trains covered by the 9€ ticket. Going by ICE/IC it's much quicker.

2

u/SpareRelation9363 20h ago

I remember when my foster fathers train started going backwards and added an extra 8 hours to his trip. Making him come home very late. Like how can geemany has such a city train system? My countries is way better than that(Hungary)

3

u/deukhoofd 19h ago

They've not properly invested in their railway system for decades. They've only spent money on maintenance, not actual improvements to it. That maintenance also causes issues, because instead of actually renewing railway infrastructure, they now need to spend more and more time on fixing old infrastructure, which also causes delays.

At the same time traffic keeps increasing, but they already don't really have the capacity for it, so if something minor goes wrong, it cascades throughout the entire network.

They also have a lot of old signalling infrastructure, which needs to work together, but often doesn't. That old infrastructure also frequently breaks. They need to replace them with digital interlocks, and move to ETCS everywhere, but that's a massive project that takes years, if not decades.

So basically they could fix it, if they'd actually invest in it and plan for it.

2

u/Deutscher_Bub 21h ago

There is a challenge in germany where you try to get to all 16 countries in 24 hours via train, and it's barely possible. So you could easily take 30 hours from the very south to the very north, since the 24h one is a highly optimized route going in what is basically a small circle in the middle of Germany

1

u/loloider123 20h ago

You are happy if you have a train by hour 30

1

u/markjohnstonmusic 16h ago

It's more fashionable on treads.

15

u/PrevAccLocked 22h ago

You can drive 8hrs from Moscow to Moscow (8 hours is an understatement)

13

u/Cahootie 19h ago

Back in 2015 I took the Trans-Siberian Railway. 72 hours non-stop on a train surrounded by a bunch of Russians who didn't speak a word of English, and most of that time was indeed spent within Siberia.

4

u/birgor 18h ago

72 hours was just around half of it I suppose? I think the classic route is around 150 hours if it is done in one trip.

6

u/Cahootie 18h ago

Yeah, got my math confused, it was actually around 96 hours. I did Ulan-Ude - Moscow in one go as part of my journey from Beijing back home to Sweden.

1

u/TheFoundation_ 9h ago

That sounds rad as hell

1

u/Cahootie 8h ago

It was. I had lived in China for a year and decided to make the trip home into a vacation. I took the train to Mongolia, spent a week there exploring, took the bus across the Russian border to Ulan-Ude (where I ran into a border guard who spoke Swedish), visited Lake Baikal, took the long train ride to Moscow, spent a few days there and then flew home.

The train ride was pretty meditative. I booked the train that originated in China so that I could speak some Chinese, but I ended up in a carriage that was added on the Russian side, so it was just me and a bunch of Russians who didn't speak any English. I spent my time watching movies and series, reading a ton (I finished four books in three days) and just sitting at the very back of the train and watching the countryside pass by for hours.

It was unfortunate that I wasn't able to make any stops on the way, but I still found watching the landscape and people fascinating. I'm also happy that I managed to get it done back then since it's not exactly the sort of thing you'd do today.

5

u/CoolSausage228 19h ago

My family drive from Siberia to Black sea few times, 5 days in a row. It was fun first two days

4

u/skyturnedred 17h ago

I have a friend who was in the Soviet army in the 80s. He got two weeks of leave but didn't take it as he would have only made it halfway home before he would've had to turn back.

1

u/Snifferoni 19h ago

People in russia driving for 30 hours to to fill up the car.

1

u/Sum-_-Noob 16h ago

Impossible, you can't get 30 hours of fuel anymore in Russia...

1

u/MissBlackLace 13h ago

better than being conscripted into the army

-1

u/bamboomightwork 21h ago

That's why they call it The Gulag.

5

u/VLQB 19h ago

Not really

3

u/bamboomightwork 19h ago

That's why I call it The Gulag.

2

u/Dr__Sloth 18h ago

Not really

2

u/bamboomightwork 17h ago

That's why I think of it as the Gulag.

-1

u/Herr_Gamer 18h ago

People in Russia driving for 30 hours just to still be in Moscow waiting in line for gas