r/lithuania • u/sn0wlark • 1d ago
Visiting Lithuania for a week in April
Hello! I'm visiting Vilnius for a week this coming April from Minnesota, and I'm wondering if there are any cultural faux pas that I should avoid. Unfortunately, I am an American, and know people are tightly not fond of us. When I visit places, I try to avoid making any sort of fuss or inconvenience anyone. Travelling both as a biracial American (black and white), I know that I'll probably seem strange, but I really want to minimize any disturbances or annoyances. I'm a big history nerd and Lithuania seems both full of beauty and history.
Mainly, I'm asking for any advice on how to annoy people the least amount 😅 thanks in advance and am so sorry if this isn't the right place for this kind of post.
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u/Fi_Re_1045 1d ago
You do not need to explain your race, don't bother getting into talk about the race. If asked, just state that you are an American. There are some black people, it is not a novetly anymore.
Culture wise, It is pretty much the same as in USA. Here are the differences: tips are somewhat smaller. If invited to home, you may need to take your shoes off. There is a much reserved communication style.
The biggest faux pas would be mixing up with Lithuania with russians. Lithuania was occupied by russia a couple of times (1792 to 1918, and 1939 to 1990), and there is still a percentage of russian colonists residing in the country (about 10%).
Smaller sin would be wearing baggy US cloths, stick with slick European style.
Do the research about some of the local food, such as cepelinai or saltibarsciai. Some people love cepelinai, some just consider it too heavy. Getting the food and not finishing most of it is considered not cool.
Welcome and enjoy your trip.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Lithuanian American who just visited Lithuania for a month here. Culture-wise, it's not the same as the US at all. Y'all are very quiet, reserved and skeptical of outsiders. Not here to start a fight but I think the two countries are not similar at all in terms of culture. It was quite a culture shock.
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
I mean even south europeans make memes about how loud american tourists are, and they are the loudest we have on the continent😆
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Yeah, we are loud and add kids and it's even worse. My toddler was having a meltdown from tiredness at the Rimi Express and an older worker literally shushed her. I found that really rude--that's something that would never happen in the US. The social norms about quietness were totally a culture shock to me.
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
Honestly I would never think of it as rude. Rather as cute, we take care of each others kids, seen many times especially older people give upset kids candy or tell them to listen to their parents, and yeah sometimes shush them. Dont get why you would get mad and see "my kid belongs to me and only I can say anything to him" pretty egocentric, which is another american stereotype😅 (dont say this doesnt happen here, and ofc there are limits and old people can suck and go overboard too)
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Oh no, she bent down, made an annoyed face and went "shhh!"
Again, cultural differences. If someone did this in the US, it would be perceived as very rude. My whole point of the original comment is that America and Lithuania are very different culturally, which you are proving
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
Yeah it is interesting, because especially in internet age, it feels like we are all watching the same content, same youtubers, netflix shows and cultures feel universal. But when you go on the ground and see these little differences.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Yeah, big cultural differences! I was pretty shocked until I got used to it.
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u/Ok-Relationship3158 🇬🇧 in 🇱🇹 1d ago
Older people commenting on parenting is really odd to me, judging for not having 5 layers on when it's 15C... Older people in Lithuania are generally rude, they obviously grew up in a different time, but it still can be unpleasant.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Yeah, I've heard that before as well about the older generation. Speaking of which, I did notice the kids were very layered up with it was 15C! Everyone had at least 3 layers on, which I felt was overkill considering that's like spring.
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u/Alfatic 1d ago
So people in America just let their kids scream their lungs out in public places? Obviously, it should be your responsibility as a parent to make sure your child is not inconveniencing others. If you're not willing or not able to do so then people responsible for managing these public places will sometimes attempt to do it for you.
You are definitely the one being rude in that situation and not the worker, subjecting everyone around you to your child's tantrums. People will generally be understanding in these types of situations, so long as they see you attempting to remedy the problem yourself (via shushing/talking to your child or getting what you need to get done in that place quickly and going elsewhere to placate them).
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u/theytookallthecash 18h ago
You guys are proving my point about the cultural differences and being a jerk while you're at it.
Are you a parent? There's varying levels of crying. It's not tantrum or nothing.
And no, I wasn't the rude one because I left about 5 minutes after my kid started crying. But we were treated poorly in those five minutes.
If it's the grocery store and not a restaurant, are you really such a child that you need the most perfect shopping experience and cannot tolerate hearing a child cry? It's not a restaurant or a library. Get over yourself, children exist and sometimes they make noises.
Again, you are only proving my original point which was about cultural differences.
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u/Alfatic 16h ago
You can have the point on cultural differences, I don't know how things are in America so I can't speak to it. Treat this as me adding context to these cultural differences if you like, rather than arguing against them.
I'm not a parent but I am an uncle and I've babysit kids plenty of times, including taking them to grocery stores or wherever else.
Again, people will tolerate disruptions that they know are out of your control. If you are actively attempting to calm your child down then nobody will give you a hard time over it, regardless of how their "perfect shopping experience" is being disrupted. But if you are simply ignoring the child and letting it cause a ruckus then it is only natural to be upset. It's a selfish mindset, at least in the eyes of many here, that you are entitled to disturb the peace of those around you. And it's not really about any "perfect shopping experience" or anything in the first place -- people just want to go about their day in peace, and they are conscientious and attempt to avoid causing unnecessary trouble for others around them. No offense, but I wager that if most people that were around at the time that event occurred were asked, they would say that you are the one who "treated them poorly", rather than the other way around. Not that this is that big a deal in the first place.
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u/theytookallthecash 16h ago
I never claimed any of that, you're the one who made up this argument that I wasn't even making. In any case, my impression of Lithuania is that it was very unfriendly to kids outside of the social safety nets parents have. Maybe that's why the birth rate there is so low. If you want the population to at least maintain itself, then maybe you should at least tolerate a kid crying for 3 minutes.
My kid cried for 3 minutes in her stroller and then we left. Yet I'm the rude one? Ok dude.
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u/Em3rgency 1d ago
I think you may have mislabeled a bit. We are only quiet in comparison to Americans, who are considered too obnoxiously loud by pretty much all do Europe 😂
And regarding reserved and skeptical of outsiders... It's not outsiders, it's strangers in general. Small talk between complete strangers is practically non existent and is generally considered weird. Same as smiling to strangers. I'm assuming that is what you experienced.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Yes, that was my experience. The only in depth conversations I had were with those not from Lithuania. I'm a generally very social person and have no trouble talking to strangers. I think I talked to maybe 3 Lithuanians for more than 5 minutes outside of customer service settings, like in a shop. I was advised by a friend to just stop doing all the polite things we do in the US (like smiling). After I stopped, the rejection got a lot easier.
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u/Em3rgency 1d ago
It's not rejection. You can't bring your cultural norms and expect people to follow suit. When in Rome do as the Romans. Talking to STRANGERS is super weird and probably creeped people out, it is NOT polite here. For customer service stuff, you talk the bare minimum needed to get the service. Doing small talk with those people is even worse - they can't escape you because it's their job to be polite, but you would still be super weird if you started talking about your life to a retail worker.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
Oh yeah, no I didn't expect people to follow suit. I'm a traveled person and understand that assimilating while traveling is the easier option. However, it is still jarring. I own a shop in the US and know so much about many customers. You'd probably think it's very weird how much I know about people I just met. I don't expect other places to be the same, just pointing out that it's very different!
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u/klaustux 1d ago
thanks, that's very interesting to hear. Have you visited Scandinavia? I found their way of communication very similar to ours.
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u/Em3rgency 16h ago
I have! We had a week long road trip in Sweden this summer. I felt right at home :D
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u/RainmakerLTU Lithuania 23h ago
I heard in Norway is even worse at places haha So a cultural shock will have shock of it's own.
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u/klaustux 20h ago
I would recommend taking a look into - https://www.bbc.co.uk/travel/article/20261008-why-is-there-no-word-for-please-in-the-nordic-languages - made me feel a lot better :)
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u/RainmakerLTU Lithuania 40m ago
Cool article. Thanks. Really worth to all US tourists to read. Explains a lot. And similar to us, LT, even we have our "please" and in not in one form. And yes, when you do not need to say many words, it's saves time.
In fact, Hummelgren says that being excessively polite can itself seem unusual – and even read as suspicious.
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u/pedrosorio 1d ago
and there is still a percentage of russian colonists residing in the country (about 10%)
Are you thinking of Vilnius? This suggests 5%
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u/klaustux 1d ago
In Vilnius there are 63% Lithuanians (https://osp.stat.gov.lt/en/statistiniu-rodikliu-analize?hash=66b3091a-c738-4d87-b961-ecefdc2613ca#/) .
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u/BaconOverflow 1d ago
"Smaller sin would be wearing baggy US cloths, stick with slick European style"
Depends on your age I guess. Gen Z and younger barely embrace the slick European style (which is pretty boring tbh).
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u/ibwk 1d ago
We generally don't have anything against Americans, so you'll be fine.
However, we can easily flag American tourists just because they're really loud. I had a boomer couple on one of my Cretan day trips, they sat behind me in a bus, and talked all the time, and when they ran out of things on Our Lord and Savior to chat about, the lady read her husband a book (?) about some conservative politician. So don't be like them I guess :D Use your indoor voice, don't expect to just strike a conversation with somebody unless you're at the bar.
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u/Jogaila2 1d ago
Fun fact about Lithuania...
As a Grand Duchy it was one of the largest "empires" in Europe and when it combined with Poland to form a Commonwealth, it was THE largest Empire in Europe for a few hundred years.
Still more interesting is the the method of governing became a model that the French used after its revolution to form a written constitution and, by extension, the same can be said for the USA.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
I'm Lithuanian American and just visited in August. This is my honest opinion which I realize Lithuanians on this sub may disagree with.
My advice would be to learn enough Lithuanian to interact with people. Practice and try to get down at least 10 phrases and try your best not to fuck them up. A little effort goes a long way. People did not overly care that we were American but compared to 2 years ago, my opinion is that they were less friendly because of it.
Racially, I think you will be fine in the cities but outside of cities, people might stare. Lithuania is not very diverse but there was a good mix of people in Vilnius and Kaunus. I'm white but have some Lithuanian friends who are in an interracial couple with Black partners and this is what has been relayed to me. For whatever it's worth, most everyone outside the cities were generally neutral on us and sometimes unwelcoming of they realized we were outsiders. Do not expect the same level of politeness or hospitality as there is in the US.
Sorry to whoever this offends. I've spent more than a month there and went to many different places and this was my experience. I do love it, though!
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
"Unwelcoming if they realized we are outsiders" damn it is as if you are talking about soke jungle tribe😆. My man this is 2026, no one treats you differently because you are "outsider" if it was older people they probably didnt speak english and panicked/avoided you. That or it is trump effect, he really fkd up american reputation in the entire world, I grew up thinking that in a way we own americans freedom, and if anything happens we will be protected, but with trump reputation was bad before, after diesel deal it is in hell.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
OK, well, you don't have to agree with or like what I said but that was my experience. Unless you're an American visiting Lithuania, I don't think you have much of a say on an outsider's perspective because you're not...an outsider. Also, yeah, no shit people hate us because of tRump. Any American coming to a country that shares a border with Russia already knows that going into it. Guess what? We have to live our lives anyway. I did take away a lot of inspiration on how to fight fascism, so I was definitely glad for that.
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
Well I am not talking about outsiders perspective, I am talking as insider and I find people being scared of english speakers a hilarious and unrealistic idea even in villages. My aunt is maried to a british man and they come regulary to stay for months in a little town she was born in. Never had similar experiences, unless it is about language barrier, once he was drunk and lost and local police literally just picked him uo and drove him home like taxi😆
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
I don't think it's attributable to the English-speaking like you're saying. I can tell you're already not going to like what I'm about to say. It's more the general skepticism of outsiders. Makes sense because of all the collective Soviet trauma.
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u/Vegetable-Worry475 1d ago
So you are russian speaking? Because what the hell does english speaking have to do with soviet trauma? Again, saying as a person born and raised in a small town in Lithuania. My parents and grandparents were involved in first volunteer troops in Lithuania in the 90s lots of trauma woth greatgrandparents. I ever saw them excited about western foreigners. So from an insider, this doesnt make sense to me.
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u/theytookallthecash 1d ago
To clarify, I was talking about English-speaking because your comment made it sound like you were saying people there were afraid of English speakers. Looks like I misunderstood.
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u/norwegiancatwhisker 1d ago
people are not fond of us
Couldn't be more wrong. Lithuanians like Americans, but we have some reservations about the current admin.
Lithuanians might appear a bit cold or reserved. It's not you. It's us. We have this thing of "don't tell us what to do" and this counts even for service staff.
Things you should never do is assume we are Russian (offensive and factually incorrect) or that we speak Russian. We also don't do the "how are you" (ask only if you care and want to hear about how bad (or good) things are) and smile at people in the street (this one is weird)
A few things to help with conversations:
- basic lithuanian words, such as sveiki, labas, ačiū will go long way
- vast majority of Lithuanians will recognize and appreciate "Slava ukraini" and response "geroyam Slava"
While in Vilnius, try local beers (Šnekutis bar, for example), walk in the old town, stay up late and enjoy it. Don't take taxis unless it's actually far. Exploration is a part of the experience.
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u/joltl111 Lithuania 1d ago
Try and walk everywhere. Vilnius, just like every other European city, is completely accessible on foot so try and refrain from using Ubers or Bolts everywhere (unless you have mobility issues). On top of being walkable, the city is very safe. Incomparable to anything in the US.
Shoes off in the house/apartment. Now this would only apply if you end up visiting someone's home, but to Lithuanians, the fact that in American culture it is ok to wear shoes inside (not all households, I know) is, excuse me for being blunt, repulsive. If I were to walk into a home and not immediately take my shoes off, I might as well have taken a dump on their carpet (hyperbole, I know). So shoes off! :DD
Your volume. The stereotype of loud Americans is real, I'm afraid. In our culture, we tend to talk only as loud as the person we're speaking to needs to hear us. If someone, say, 5-7 metres (15-20 feet) away can hear our conversation, we're speaking too loud. And another thing - a lot of people can understand English. So not only can we hear you, we understand every word of your business.
Politics. Look, there's no other way to put it - you're not exactly going to be met with enthusiasm if you're Trump supporters. Most Lithuanians see him in a very negative light. On the contrary - American soldiers are viewed very positively. We have a bunch of them stationed in Lithuania - thank you very much!
Small talk and politeness. Lithuanians follow a simple golden rule - everyone minds their own business and enjoys the peace. You know that artsy, odd character in a movie or a book that prefers to sit under a tree or in a park in silence, as supposed to constant chit-chatting and interaction with other people? Well, that's the vast majority of Lithuanians. We are a very introverted people and are often called cold or rude, but it is rather a cultural difference. Zero small talk IS politeness. Letting other people enjoy their own peace and quiet IS politeness. Walking past people on the street and saying hi to everyone is weird. But, on the contrary, when you do befriend a Lithuanian - it is a much more sincere friendship. We don't do fake smiles or masking, we prefer real, genuine, lifelong friendships. Germans are often called very direct. Well, so are we.
We are Lithuanians, we speak the Lithuanian language from the Baltic language family. Calling us Russians is just about the most offensive thing you can say. Yes, Vilnius is quite multicultural, about 2/3 of the city's population are Lithuanians, the rest are mostly Slavs: Russians, Poles, Ukrainians, Belorusians. So theres a bunch of Russian, Polish and Ukrainian spoken on the streets. But never ever assume that Lithuanians and Slavs are the same thing. Russia has attempted to eradicate the Lithuanian people for centuries, and to be likened to them means letting Russia win.
Learn some basic phrases! Obviously no one is asking you to reach conversational level Lithuanian, but at least learn how to say hello, thank you, please, good bye, sorry, and "do you speak English?" in Lithuanian. You will see how the locals light up with a smile as soon as they hear it.