usually when I think or “fantasize” about men i’m kinda attracted to them, but when I look at the real life/reality i realize: oh wait, i’m not attracted to these people, ew.
but with women it’s kinda the opposite, it might be because i have a sort of aphantasia but when i fantasize or think of women (in general, not someone i like that’s in media or real life) i’m like: ehhh i don’t really know if I’m attracted to women but when i look at real life I’m like: nevermind I take back everything. So sometimes i’m up at 3 am questioning my sexuality cause these generic men are better than these generic women, i guess? hut really, i’m snapped back to reality when I try to think of real people I know, or to how it would actually be to be in a relationship with a man. does this happen to anyone else?

This is just a random story but i was randomly thinking about how in preschool (no clue how I still remember it) I thought this girl was really cool and I really wanted to be friends woth her but now looking back I realize that I actually liked her 😭, also 90% convinced that being queer is just a little bit genetic cause all my friends agree my parents seem like bisexuals and both me and my brother are queer, my cousin is also a lesbian, the funny thing is our grand parents are like SUPER Cristian/conservative Anyway that was my random story (idk if discussion or story is a better flair for this)

Okay, so I have a crush on this girl in my seventh period. This is like my first openly wlw crush. I’m pretty sure I’ve made it obvious to her. We share similar interests, like music taste, but I haven’t spoken to her yet. I’ve complimented her on her shirt and piercings a few times, but I’ve never felt this way before. How am I supposed to know if she likes girls? And how can I strike up a conversation with her? I’m not sure if she seems interested in talking to me. We make eye contact a lot in class, but I don’t know if that’s because I stare at her, or if it’s just that I’m not in a weird way. This is kind of confusing because it’s like my first lesbian crush. I really want to talk to her and get to know her, but she just doesn’t seem interested in me. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it, but one time she walked right next to me the whole time until we got to our buses. It wasn’t in a friendly way, you know? She was just walking right next to me with a little space between us. I’m so confused. I think she’s really really pretty, and I thought that when I first saw her the first few days of school. But is it supposed to feel like this? It’s like a yearning feeling, and I don’t know how to know if she’s interested in me or if she’s wlw?

Okay, I need your opinions because I cannot figure out what’s going on with this girl.

Theres a girl I’ve known for a few years who I’ve recently started interacting with more. At one point, she called me cute and asked for my Instagram. I don’t have social media, so we didn’t end up exchanging contact info.

More recently, I saw her at an event, and she seemed genuinely excited to see me. She greeted me really enthusiastically and complimented my outfit, hair, makeup, and jeans at different points throughout the time we were together. I also kept catching her looking at me when I glanced over, so there was quite a bit of eye contact. At one point, I overheard her whisper something to a friend that included my name, but I couldn’t hear the rest.

Her friends were also pretty welcoming toward me, including me in conversations and talking to me individually.

Now, I KNOW none of these things automatically mean she likes me. Some people are just naturally friendly, and I don’t want to mistake kindness for flirting. But the combination of her previously calling me cute, asking for my Instagram, and then acting this way when we saw each other again has me wondering if there might be something more.

There’s also another girl who I suspect she might be involved with based on a few things I’ve noticed, but I don’t know her personally and have no confirmation that they’re dating. I don’t want to assume anything about their relationship status.

I probably won’t see this girl again for a few weeks, so I have time to overthink every single interaction in the meantime. 😭

So like, is there potential interest there or am I just reading too much into it?

Please be honest with me, I want outside perspectives cause I have a feeling I’m just being delusional lol

Guys I'm scared. Im a 16 year old girl and I have a huge crush on one of my mutuals on tiktok(she's so gorgeous.)

We've talked occasionally, and both started conversations with each other, yet I don't know her that well.

I really want to talk and get to know her more, and I'm thinking of sending her like a random funny video and seeing what she says. Or would that be too weird?

What do you guys suggest I do?

Okay, so I'm (13F), and I've had a crush on this girl at my school for almost a YEAR now, and I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.

We're in the same grade but different classes, and we've never actually spoken. The embarrassing part is that I like her SO MUCH without even knowing what it's like to have a proper conversation with her. 😭

Sometimes, I catch her looking at me, and when I'm walking past her, I notice from the corner of my eye that she's looking at me too. But whenever I look back, she looks away. Sometimes, she smiles at me, and now I'm constantly wondering if she might like me or if I'm just overthinking everything because I have a crush on her.

The thing is, nobody really knows I'm lesbian because I'm still closeted. I sometimes wonder how I can look more lesbian without making it obvious to everyone at school. I wanna express that side of myself, but I'm not ready for everyone to know my business yet. So the crush thing...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE LIKES GIRLS. 😭 I think she has a boyfriend too, although lately he doesn't seem to be around her as much. When they do talk, she sometimes looks like she doesn't wanna be there, but I could be completely wrong because I'm only seeing them from a distance.I've thought about approaching her so many times, but I don't know what to say. Imagine I randomly walk up to her and say, "Hey, how are you?" when we've literally never spoken before. What if she wonders why I'm suddenly talking to her? WHAT IF IT'S AWKWARD? 😭

I've been thinking of finding an excuse to talk to her, maybe asking something school-related or asking about one of her friends who's in my class. Then, if the conversation goes well, I can extend it and start talking about other things. I wanna become friends with her first and see where things go instead of immediately trying to figure out if she likes me and i don't wanna assume she's into me just because she looks at me, but I also can't help wondering if there's a chance. I genuinely don't know if I should make a move, especially if she's straight or still has a boyfriend.

Reddit, how would you approach a girl you've never spoken to without making it awkward? And how can I figure out if she likes girls without directly asking her and accidentally outing myself?

Please give me honest advice because I'm actually losing my mind over this crush. 😭

Hii so this is my first post here. So this might be a bit weird. I'm a teen and I still go to school. And there are like lots of girls and boys in our class of course. So I have weird feelings like I like girls maybe. I mean whenever I look at any girl from our class, I'm like 'shes so cute' and I just have weird feelings. But I do have a crush on a boy. So is this thing normal or am I just weird?

so i (15F) think i am a lesbian. i’ve liked guys in middle school and elementary, i always wanted a boyfriend growing up but it wasn’t until 8th grade when i first liked a girl, me and that girl soon dated and sadly broke up. but then i started having a crush on this guy, and i would say i was obsessed with this guy. it wasn’t until maybe half way through 9th grade that i realized i didn’t like this guy, i just wanted him to like me, so i stopped having feelings for men. and ever since then i haven’t really been having crushes on guys i mean i’ll find some guys cute but im not really attracted to them and i don’t wanna date them. ive mostly been having crushes on girls now and now that im a sophomore in high school ive been saying that im a lesbian, ive been kinda scared to ask this because i dont want people to think im being biphobic but i just wanna know, does me thinking guys are cute but refusing to date them and only wanting to date women make me a lesbian?

edit: thank you guys! i’ve decided to go by being a lesbian since that’s the label im comfortable with :) sorry if this posted seem dumb, i’ve just had multiple people tell me irl that im bi

if you see my old posts youll see that i like a girl, ive made it obvious but i dont think my irls are taking me seriously and it genuinely hurts, and to some extent i think theyre being icked out of me for it
we come from a culture where homophobia is veryy normalized, and tho i never was homophobic surprisingly i didnt support it either i was just neutral ab it so atp i kinda get them but theres js no one to talk ab to how i feel and shi and i be lowk talking to chatgpt and idk.
basically idk

Hi everyone,

I'm 16 and I'm from Washington. Earlier this year I started talking to a girl who lives in Oregon. We met online and ended up talking every day for about 45 days. At first I didn't think much of it, but I got attached pretty quickly. She was the first person I ever had feelings like that for, and I looked forward to talking to her every day.

The distance was definitely a challenge. We lived a few hours apart, but I still found myself thinking about her all the time. I remember telling people that I would have been willing to make the drive to meet her someday. I thought she was beautiful, I loved talking to her, and I felt genuinely happy when I heard from her.

My parents started asking questions about whether I liked girls and whether I was talking to someone. I told them the truth. I didn't get caught hiding it or lying about it. When they asked, I told them that yes, I was talking to a girl and that I liked her.

Things went badly after that.

My parents were very upset. They believed I was confused and kept telling me that I should try dating a guy first before deciding anything about my sexuality. They also worried because she lived in another state and because we had met online.

They took my phone, my social media, and I lost contact with her for months. During that time I kept wondering what happened to her and whether she thought I had just disappeared.

A while later I got access to a phone again and was able to reconnect with her. We started talking again. She responded to my stories, liked my posts, talked to me about things going on in her life, and it honestly felt really nice to reconnect.

Unfortunately my parents found out again.

After that they replaced my phone with a heavily restricted Motorola phone. I have to get permission to download apps, a lot of things are blocked, and they specifically wanted to make it harder for me to contact her. They also took away some of my driving privileges.

What makes this difficult is that I don't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was lonely, I met someone I genuinely liked, and I wanted to get to know her better.

At the same time, I'm still figuring myself out. I've never had much dating experience with anyone. Some days I wonder if I'm gay, bi, or still questioning. The only thing I know for sure is that my feelings for her felt very real.

Has anyone else dealt with unsupportive parents, losing contact with someone you cared about, or trying to figure out your sexuality while living at home?

And if anyone has any advice about what I should do moving forward, I would really appreciate it. Right now I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and wanting the freedom to figure out who I am and talk to someone I care about.

Thanks for reading.

About 2 weeks ago, I realized I was into girls after finally admitting that I liked my friend, let’s call her V. V is so special and makes me feel this spark that no guy was ever able to make me feel. We just came back from fall break, and she rarely texted me throughout the break which was upsetting, but I didn’t really mind— I had other things to worry about. But I know she doesn’t like me like that, and I know I can’t assume she likes girls because it’s very rare to find girls who like girls.

Today, I spoke to her after a while, but she didn’t seem as enthusiastic as she usually did. She was somewhat dry, and not talkative. After school, I usually go hang out in the same room as her and other people, but she was just distant and left early without waiting for me. She seemed kinda irritated that I called out for her to wait for me, and I just felt like a desperate loser.

I’m not the type to chase someone, especially if they make it clear they don’t like me like that. I’ve especially seen this with guys I would talk to in the past (I’d ghost them with no hesitation). But I feel so alive talking to V—like my heart is rapidly beating just thinking about it. I don’t know how to stop this. I’m so sick of this feeling.

I think about her all day and night, and seeing her today at school just made it infinitely worse.

Im interested in this girl, but have no idea if she is into girls. would it be weird if i messaged her and was like “hey, i have a random question for you” and then “are you into girls?” im worried that if she’s straight she’ll feel uncomfortable because of this but i want to clarify before i get a crazy crush

I’m Bi! Have dated men before and now I like girls. I’m scared of accepting the fact that I like girls, because I’m from a religious family.

I’m a girl and I’m currently in a relationship with a guy. Before I met him, I had been in love with a girl for about a year. When I met my boyfriend and we started hanging out, those feelings became less intense, but they never actually went away.
Now I feel like I still love her. I know that if she ever told me she felt the same way, I would probably leave my boyfriend for her without much hesitation.
The confusing part is that I’m comfortable with my boyfriend. I like going on walks with him, going to his hockey games, hanging out with his friends, and everything that comes with being in a relationship. But deep down, I feel like I’m still in love with this girl, and I’m basically staying in my relationship because I know she probably won’t choose me.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with these feelings.

Hi everyone, that's my first post because i'm kinda confused and don't know how to move now.

I'm 16 in highschool and i like a girl, and i know she likes me too. I'm a fem and she's a masc and she keep flirting and touching my arm, my shoulder or other in class. I know she likes me too because she told one of my friend about it and said that she do all the things and not me. I want to do something but i'm shy in class so i prefer complimenting her. We also did go on "a date" in the cinema but all I did was playing with her hair or talking to her. I also want to know how's it be to be in a relationship with a girl because it'll be my first, i haven't had my first kiss.

So please give me some advices and gave me your proper story !!!

Hi new here, and looking for some advice.

I'm a senior high school student and I've never been in a relationship or dated anyone before. Recently, I've started developing feelings for a girl I've become close with. When I first met her, she had a boyfriend. Their relationship was pretty toxic, and her ex was actually someone from my class who used to be part of my friend group. After they broke up, she opened up to me about what happened, and as I listened to her, we gradually became closer. Later, I found out that she had a crush on me and had already confessed. She also gave me a flower and some KitKats with a note saying she liked me. At the time, I didn't really know how to respond because I'd never dated anyone before and wasn't looking for anything serious.

However, as time passed, I realized that I started liking her too. I want to get to know her more and possibly date her, but I'm not looking for a serious relationship right away. I'd rather take things slowly and see where it goes. Well.. I'm also worried about school gossip, so I'd prefer to keep things private between us.

Should I tell her that I like her back? Or would it be better to take things slowly and get to know her more first? I've also never dated someone of the same gender before, so this is completely new to me. :c

had my first kiss! My girlfriend came over and we played card game and watched a few movies while cuddling!! The card game was one where you answer questions and the very last one asked what you desire most right now. She was giggling and refused to tell me what she wanted before finally saying a kiss. We kissed n it wasn’t too crazy akward but def was a little tense and later we kissed bye! I love her so much and she wa cuddling me and was grabbing my waist and at one point had her hand on my thigh!

More context: We've been friends since kindergarten, she is my closest friend, I would die without her friendship and I don't want to lose it or make things awkward, and she is one of the kindest and most patient people I have ever met. I have had a crush on her since middle school, I am now a Senior in high school.

If anyone has any advice on getting over crushes please let me know, I need to move on

Hi I'm kate(13f) and have recently come out as BI to my friends and my sister... A bit about me is my dad’s a preacher so my parents aren’t homophobic, but they’re definitely not allies so they don’t know most of my friends are supportive and the ones who aren’t or so my friends and aren’t hating on me so yeah... I found out I was bi because I saw a really pretty girl who is way out of my age range so I didn’t have a crush on her... but now I have a crush on my first girl and I couldn’t stop smiling 😊😊😊 I’m using a fake name so let’s call her E(13f) I’ve known her for a long time and I just recently figured out my feelings 💘💘💘💘... so I immediately told my friends specifically my queer ones cause I was really excited and I told them who it was and they stopped being excited... They didn’t really like E I knew she wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, but I was expecting them to be a bit more happy for me even my best friend said nice things, but her facial expressions said otherwise tbh I didn’t really care cause I really liked her... I am friends with some eighth graders, who was in the grade above me and I told them and they were immediately excited for me.... so the next day I’m talking to E and we’re talking about what kind of bracelet she wants me to make for her (I said I would make her one before I came out) so now I was super Duper excited and wanted to make it perfect so we were saying goodbye and she says and I quote "ok gotta go bye love you" and leaves to go to class... even though I know she most likely meant it in a friend way I couldn’t stop smiling I walked into class and my friend was like what the hell is wrong with you... 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊... so later I told my friend whose friends with E that I had a crush on her and she was like "I believe there’s someone somewhere for her, but... why her?" E can’t be annoying at times and it’s really hard to understand what she’s saying sometimes but I really like her still and I think it’s cute even when it’s hard to tell what she’s saying that was my response.... I also found out that my gay best friend is her cousin and he was the most excited out of everyone, but still was a bit why? Then I went to PE and I couldn’t stop smiling because I talked to E again and she said I love you bye again and I walked next to my PE friends and I was like "SHE GAY" Because I got confirmation from her cousin and from a friend of her so she’s gay or bi... my friend grabbed my arm and started jumping up and down super excited for me and I couldn’t stop smiling. It came to the point where one of my friends was like. "Are you high?" but we were talking and found out that my PE friends are friends with E older sister her older sister is really nice. I’ve had a few conversations with her and every time she’s been super nice, but I now know that she is very overprotective of her little sister as she should be... so anyways I have school tomorrow and I made her this really cute bracelet and I worked really hard on making it and I can’t wait to give it to her tomorrow. I’ll update you when I do.... I’m also going to give her my number Monday... Pray for me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇🙇🙇🙇... also sorry if there’s typos I did this whole thing with the speech to text thing cause I can barely spell cause I’m dyslexic

(UPDATE) SOOOOOOO... my friend asked her "would you date Kate" and she said "if she had her personality but a guy" .... Sooooo... This weekend I'm not leaving bed... : (

Okay, so like, yesterday I sent her a message asking if she wanted to watch a movie with me (no idea which, we're still picking one lol) and she accepted almost immediately after receiving the message. Plus, I mentioned in my message (audio) that we could invite some friends to come with us if she wanted and she didn't even mention it, so HFAHIEAHOU CLOSE ENOUGH TO A DATE THEN (Im living off breadcrumbs and I love it here #malnourishment #strugglemeal #ijustwantthewholebread #oratleastaslice #please) But like, I wanted to do some sort of "romantic" advance and I just 😭 I don't really know what I could do to try and show her that I'm ROMANTICALLY interested in her. Because at this point, this is practically a 3 year long crush now, and I honestly don't think I can wait any longer to try SOMETHING, at least. But at the same time, I don't wanna come off as a creep or anything, trying to hold her hand or whatever. Even if she seems comfortable initiating physical contact with me, I just I DON'T KNOW. This is my first (technically) date, and I'm so scareddd slash nervous slash there are no other adjectives I can think of 😭. I could provide some context about our relationship currently if anybody asks, it's just too late in my country and Im so sleepy, and that's the only reason I didnt do so in the post huaeuaeg. Genuinely dont know how to show her it's not a girly pop slay queen bffs hang out and instead a 'please be the mother of my children' sort of hang out. Maybe Im just too much of an overthinker too and I should shut up already and just "go with the flow", but that's not how Im wired, unfortunately, which will eventually lead me to having a seizure someday but that's okay because I feel alright right now YAY

So, I’m currently a Junior in High School (F16), and I have a huuge crush on this girl (F16), she nice, funny,smart and shes goth, the only issue is that I dont really know her… we have 1 class together,and I dont know what lunch she has

I’ve been knew I liked girls, and I know she does too, she has a lesbian pin on her bag, so I’m like 80% sure.

I have her number and Instagram too. I have her number because we were in the same club last year so we were put a group Chat together, and I have her instagram because we’re in the same academic program, so I can reach out to her, but should I ask her out even if I dont know her? Whould it be ingenuous of me to ask to be friends first hoping that we would be more? Because it seems like a shitty thing to do :( And thats were I’m stuck at.

I am not afraid of being rejected, if she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend I’m fine with it. I wouldn’t have to see her much in school anyway, and I’ll get over it, But I’d rather know than get stuck on a girl I could’ve had a chance with, but never took it.

So I guess my question is, how should I approach it? Do I go and ask her to be my girlfriend, even if I dont mnow her? Do I try and be friends first then confess? Or do I ask if she wants to be my girlfriend, and give her the chance to know me before we make anything official? I’m just stuck because, all of the other “girlfriends” I’ve had were girls who asked me out when I was going through a rough patch so I said yes. This is the first time I want to actually, and actively pursue a partner.

Any genuine advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

I know it sounds absolutely absurd to be sobbing at a satirical, playful lesbian movie with a happy ending. But I just felt so incredibly understood. I, too, would stare at women longer than needed, and be disgusted at the thought of kissing a guy, and be in denial of the possibility of being a homosexual.

When she said “I’m a homosexual” and started sobbing, it’s almost as if I saw the white, blond version of myself. I literally remember acting just like her (just without the drooling) when I realized I liked girls just a week prior.

The way she would look at Graham is exactly how I would look at the girl I liked before I knew I liked her. And when Graham said something along the lines of “you can’t control who you are, you can control whether you get caught being who you are,” I think it felt like I got stabbed with truth. Because yes, I feel shameful. I feel guilty for feeling this way about women. I feel like I would, and maybe should, be reprimanded for being who I am, because it’s so wrong. But it’s not, and this movie brought me to tears when I realized.

Perfection, absolute perfection.

I will say, I don’t appreciate how the movie depicted homosexuals as inherently sexual beings who are into every single member of their preferred sex.