Also needed gender euphoria and validation

So I am 19tf early transition and pre-hrt(probably won’t be for atleast a year or two) and I’m incredibly interested in a poly relationship, and I’m just looking for a little advice on how I should go about this. So a part of me really wants to put myself out there and explore myself as I’ve never been in a relationship. But on the other hand I don’t know if it is fair to myself and more importantly the people I’m talking to, to get into this when I’m so early on in my journey and if i should wait a few years till I can get on hrt and be in space where i can be more openly a woman.

My questions are these

1: to the other trans ladies out there, how did you handle navigating this space early in transition?

2: are poly sapphic spaces generally patient and accepting of people new to relationships?

3: should I look for possible relationships now or should I stay away for now and wait till I’m farther along?

Many thanks, and I’m sorry if this isn’t wanted here, I just want to not be an unwanted pest.

​

Hi there! My name is Cate (she/they) and I'm a (post op) trans woman living in Kitchener! I can also travel. No men.

I’m someone whos deeply nerdy. I love learning how things work under the hood, and how to efficiently use a tool. I work in fem-tech l, I love my job and love aviation equally. I'm a little heavier set and I’m determined to get out and do more camping and hiking. I’d love to just pick a random conservation area and go explore!

I have some mental health that I struggle with but I have a loving family and great support through my cat, dog and roomate whom I adore deeply, as well as a great friend group. I'm fully open to talk about mental health in a candid fashion.

I’m not looking to get on any kind of relationship escalator. I'm much more looking for someone who wants to see how we best fit into each other's lives and enrich each other than I am about milestones.

I'm looking for someone to go on cute dates, hold hands in the museum and go for a hike with. I've been very introverted in the past and looking to get out more.

Submissive, Huge stoner.

anyways if that sounds interesting let me know!

we are on a journey together learning more, sharing our lives as a committed group of happy satisfied women.

we reside in Florida

Hi everyone,

A while ago, I was in a severe car accident—I was parked and unbelted when I was hit from behind at 60 km/h. The impact left me with fractured eye sockets, broken ribs, and multiple herniated discs.

While the fractures have healed, the chronic back pain from the herniated discs is a massive, ongoing issue. Specifically, it is severely impacting my ability to be intimate.

For context, I am a lesbian, I have multiple partners, and I am a dominant/top.

Between the physical limitations, constant pain, and fear of a severe flare-up, my normal ways of engaging in intimacy and D/s dynamics are heavily restricted. Being a top and a dominant often requires a lot of physical stamina, control, or specific positioning that my spine simply cannot handle right now. Trying to balance these physical limitations while maintaining my dynamics across multiple relationships has been both mentally and physically exhausting.

I really want to adapt so I can maintain my connections and my sense of self in these relationships without destroying my back.

I’m looking for advice on a few fronts:

• For lesbian tops/doms with chronic back pain:

How do you adapt your play or intimacy to maintain control, presence, and pleasure without needing to be highly physical or active? (e.g., transitioning to more pillow-top, psychological dominance, or command-based play?)

• Ergonomics & Props: Are there specific wedges, specialized cushions, or furniture pieces that help take the load off your lumbar spine while topping or using straps/toys?

• Polyamorous Energy Management: How do you balance managing energy levels and pain flare-ups across multiple partners without feeling like you are letting people down?

Any practical advice, sapphic-specific positioning tips, or personal experiences from anyone navigating the intersection of queer kink, polyamory, and chronic spinal pain would be incredibly helpful.

Thank you.

So I’ve gone on one date with someone I really like. She wants to take things slowly and ‘see where it goes.’ When I do ask for details about what we are she currently labels us as friends with benefits. I know I get attached, I have said so. Even said that sex shouldn’t be an option until we are sure this is something to keep me from getting more attached than I am. I’m okay going slowly physically, but uncertainty about whether we’re intentionally exploring a relationship is really hard for me. The uncertainty is painful even though I really like being with her. Honestly she’s what I always wanted in a partner. Is it unreasonable to ask whether a relationship is genuinely on the table, even though neither of us can know yet whether it’ll work? FYI yes we are both poly, are partners are aware of everything. I just don’t know what to do or how to keep myself from being hurt.

26F bisexual polyamorous, just getting back out it there after going thru some stuff and finding myself again, right now just want something’s casual and hoping it does become serious, mostly a home body but also will go out , love going to the lake, love anime and video games, drawing, going into the Renaissance, also starting classes soon to be a game developer and animation, I’m also in the kink community too.

Edit: forgot to put that I am located in missouri

Edit 2: I got told I didn’t pick much up there about me so I love anime and video games. I enjoy nature. I am a fantasy nerd, I do also love to read, I love cosplay. I’m 420, I’m also going to taking courses for game development and animation. I like dark Romance, but not the new dark Romance I like the old I do have some trauma that I am working through and it’s not going to be healed, Overnight is going to take years to deal with it. I’m the oldest child and I am a leap year baby. I was born on February 29, is there anything else you want to know ask I’m a open book and I’m completely honest about myself and highly self-aware of my own issues

Is there something like Grindr for women? I can’t be the only one who wants hook up opportunities but with safe women?! Why are women not allowed to be as sexually free as men or am I just looking in the wrong places?

I live in WA btw.

I am ambiamorous but have a theoretical preference for polyamory and the majority of my relationships for the last 13 years have been poly. I say theoretical preference, because the more I am involved in poly communities and dating the more alienated and out of alignment I feel. I don't know if it is the area I am in, the age group I am in, if I genuinely have uniquely bad experiences or if at the day I am just not actually built for polyamory.

I love the idea of having multiple partners. I think all relationships you have, romantic or not should have space to be as deep and close as the people involved want it to be. I think that sexual and romantic love for one does not necessarily diminish love for another. In an ideal world kitchen table sounds deeply supportive and community oriented. But I have found myself consistently clashing with those I have tried to date.

I am very informed and concerned with sexual health. I test regularly, and have asked for the same from other partners. That is usually something everyone is on board with. But for a large portion of folks this seems to be where STI education and prevention ends. I have had multiple partners claim to be well informed and aware and open to taking appropriate precautions only to be told later that they made out with someone or let someone go down on them with cold sores and not disclose because they didn't think it was that big of a deal. I have had so many people get offended when I get frustrated that they had exposed themselves and potentially me to risks because they were not well informed. So many people also get so offended if you suggest using barriers or gloves. I also do have different STI prevention questions that I ask partners based off other partners genitalia, as there are different types of risks involved depending on the equipment so to speak, which has offended people before too. At this point I am loosing hope that I can successfully date poly folks when this has been such a consistent issue. I take my health super seriously as a disabled person, and I am finding myself now longer trusting others to do the same.

I also have been encountering a ton of people who will claim they have capacity for another person, invest and show consistency for a few months only to have that completely fall apart. The last few connections I have had I ended up feeling like a new toy for their collection that was discarded as soon as a trend passed. I don't know how fair that is, because I don't necessarily think most people intentionally lie about their capacity. But it is the way am feeling.

I do also am primarily les4les. For me, completely decentering men and focusing on other dykes and women has been a big part of my life. Existing as someone with no attraction to men who has minimized men in my life to the extent that I have makes it really difficult at times to relate to bi women who are still persuing and in partnership with men. It isn't a strict requirement, as bisexual women who have decentered men absolutely do exist, but I more say this in the sense that it is a limiting factor in my dating pool. It does seem the majority of women in my area who are poly are also bisexual and interested in men, and when I have tried to date them it resulted in reinforcing the incompatibility in our worldviews.

I am autistic and sometimes struggle with picking up signs, so I do consult my friends on things a lot to try to minimize friction points. I over communicate at times and take people at their word, so sometimes I don't pick up on all signs ahead of time and don't ask a lot of follow up questions to make sure my understanding matches. I also sometimes feel with neuro-typical folks so much communication happens on a level I don't always understand that I just fully miss. Are there questions or specific indicators you look for in these types of conversations that can help me better get through these pain points? I get anxious about asking too many questions at times because I don't want to imply that someone doesn't know things or seem controlling, is it best to push past that and ask super brutally honest questions about sti education and capacity? Do I accept that a primarily dyke centric polycule is not a realistic outcome for me?

I know monogamy doesn't necessarily make all these issues go away, but I do think it reduces the prevalence and how much conflict these things can bring. Is it best at this point to just accept that polyamory may just not be on the cards for me?

We are seeking moderators for an exciting new Discord community for disabled, neurodivergent and chronically ill lesbians!

To apply, you’ll need to be:

🌈 Female-identifying or non-binary and a lesbian
🌈 Someone with lived experience of disability, neurodivergence and/or chronic illness
🌈 Kind, self-aware and able to work well as part of a team with mixed abilities and energy levels

Experience with Discord or running online communities is desirable, but not required. What matters most is that you’re supportive, approachable and want to help create a welcoming, safe community.

We're only seeking moderators at the moment but look forward to opening the community to new members later in the year.

If this sounds like you, please get in touch!

🩷

Ráda bych se ukazovala jiným ženám nahá a to detailně. Máte to některá také tak, nebo jsem jediná?

So my girlfriend and I have been cuddling a lot lately but there's only so much cuddle you can get out of one girl. So we thought about doing a cuddle pile but have no idea how to find other girls. Does anyone have tips on how to go about it and find people? <3 (For context we are from Germany and around 22 yo)

I’m 38, trans, poly, and live in a smaller Wisconsin town, and lately I’ve realized I genuinely don’t know how people do this.
I want more queer women in my life—not even necessarily for dating. Friends, community, people to talk to, and yes, maybe someday meeting someone organically instead of everything having to happen through a dating app.
But where do you actually go?
There aren’t really queer spaces where I live. I’ve tried joining some groups and haven’t had much luck. Dating apps technically let me find people, but they make every interaction feel like it’s already supposed to be a date. I’d love to just meet people and let friendships, flirting, attraction, or whatever happens develop naturally.
Also being a trans woman, I’ll admit there’s a little voice in the back of my head wondering whether I’ll actually be welcomed in sapphic spaces. I don’t want that fear to keep me isolated, though.
So I’m genuinely curious: how did you all do it? Where did you meet your queer friends or partners? How do you approach people? How do you know when another woman is actually flirting with you? 😅
Am I missing something everyone else figured out, or are we all just wandering around hoping another lesbian finds us? 😂
Thanks in advance. I appreciate your time.

Wo versteckt ihr euch mädels. Traut euch und schreibt mir🫶🥰

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Tuesday and has a great rest of your week. Let’s hope the weather here cools down soon. Can’t wait for flannel weather.

Me and my partner have been looking for a third (female) to play in campbell river for a few years now. Been trying all the apps. Whats the trick?

MUMBAI | My wife is bisexual, and we’re exploring this side of our relationship together for the first time. She’s comfortable with me posting this with her consent.
We’d love to meet confident, respectful women who are genuinely interested in getting to know her—and potentially both of us. We’re not looking to rush anything; chemistry and mutual comfort come first.
If you’re interested, tell us a little about yourself and let’s see where the conversation goes. 💜

Hey ladies, I am looking for friends or possibly more. I am a soft butch mixed (Hispanic and Black) 45 yr old married lesbian. I am in an open-poly relationship. I am looking for FWB either local or a LDR. I enjoy communicating by texting and voice notes. I love gaming, reading sapphic books, listening to all kinds of music and cooking. If you want to know more about me, please message me.

For context, I came out in 2016. My peak "newly gay and ready to play" era was from 2017 - 2019. At that time, I was living and dating in Los Angeles.

For a majority of that time, I was having a lot of first dates that would go until the wee hours. Most of these ended with either me going to their place to spend the night, or they would come over to mine for the night.

Obviously this kinda thing wasn't happening in 2020. But... it also never came back after that.

I've lived in three other geographic places since then in two different countries, and... dating is rough! Just getting someone to respond to a message with more than small talk is like pulling teeth. And when it comes time to actually plan a date, suddenly I find myself working as a ghost hunter!

What the hell happened?

Is it just me? Or did something in the air change post 2020?