I posted in a D&D diversity group that I was looking to have more ladies for my all ladies table. Then a mod came back and told me to change the language from ladies to “folks”. Like no thank you I am trying to have a table for more lesbians and sapphic inclusive table. Having the group having me change the language felt instantly insulting like lesbian women couldn’t even be addressed directly. Whats the point of calling it diverse then. Felt like you must except all or nothing….

My fiancée has known a friend for almost 10 years. I met her recently, and I’ll call this friend Amy.

Amy had been dating this girl for eight years, and they were already living together. They were planning to buy a house together and even had a joint bank account. However, Amy’s ex-girlfriend suddenly started acting strangely as she began hanging out with a new group of people. She was getting very close to a guy of a different nationality. The relationship cooled off; they broke up, and Amy’s ex moved out. A few months later, she’s traveling around the country wearing an engagement ring from that foreigner.

Amy’s ex used to say she didn’t like men, that she was a lesbian, and that she was disgusted by cis men’s penises. That’s why the situation came as such a shock. My fiancée and I, as women who have chosen to prioritize lesbian relationships, feel Amy’s pain and share in her shock.

Amy, for her part, is devastated, both by the breakup and by how quickly her ex moved on. Even if the relationship had grown cold, her ex hadn’t even talked to her about it. My fiancée has been trying to help Amy take her mind off things by channeling her anger.

The worst part is that Amy has no contact with her ex, but a useless friend has filled her in on everything; we recommend that she put a stop to this kind of behavior from her friends.

Sorry for the title, couldn't think of a better way to word it!

Yesterday I went to a lecture on the history of folklore and horror, which was incredibly interesting. At one point it touched on the emergence of witchcraft and paganism, which can sometimes act as a coalmine canary (early warning sign) that economic growth has collapsed and societal depression is growing. In other words, in some cases (not all!) people turn to more naturalistic religions and 'witchcraft' practices as it makes them feel powerful in a way they aren't anymore, when the world is going to crap.

That relationship made me wonder about whether lesbian dynamics react to, or could serve as a canary to growing conservative ideals. For example, decades ago when LGBT was much less accepted, we saw lots of butch/femme relationships. Whilst this absolutely could have been due to peoples individuality, there's also a good chance it was safer in the context of enforced traditional gender roles.

I was wondering, do any of you think we're seeing a bit of a resurgence in that? With a lot of the online discourse about butch/femme, not to mention 'lesbians' turning bisexual, do you think there's a correlation?

Sometimes I hate being gay because of how hard it is to find someone. I want to be in a relationship so badly but there are very few lesbians where I live and the ones I do know aren’t interested in me or i’m not interested in them. I’m always having men dming me and messaging me and sometimes I think about how easy it would be to find a relationship if I was straight. I’m also into more masculine women so that makes it even harder to find someone I’m interested in who is also interested in me. Do
you guys have any tips to finding other lesbians?

I was wondering if anyone has been a part of a successful one, if it's out there, how to run it, etc.! I want to be able to write so bad, and I figure a group could help me so much. Very beginner, very shy. If it doesn't exist, I'll make a 25+ Discord for it!

I'm happy for any wlw content, I am. But at the end of the day...oh my god. I hate watching anything high school shit. The older I get, the less appealing it is.

And I don't shame anyone for wanting to watch what they want, but as someone in her mid 20s? It felt so weird when my friends were obsessed with Bottoms. They thought too I was stuck up because I didn't want to watch it, but...it's about teenagers. Lmfao.

We can even argue too how many lgbtq+ had a shit time in high school. So why tf would we want to go watch that shit? Just odd all around, man lol

So i divorced a while back and im trying to get back into the dating world. Did all the other lesbians just evaporate? please excuse my sarcasm but im genuinely getting kind of upset that i cant find my own community without running into the transbian community. Trans folks can be extremely cool and nice but i dont think i really am attracted to them body wise, and i feel bad. But i cant seem to meet any other lesbians even on dating apps. It is usually trans poly people who i see. Im monogamous (thats a whole crap fest in itself) and the trans spaces are kinky ALL THE TIME like alot of pet play mostly. Im just trying to find a chill space that i can mingle without drama and there just isnt one anymore. I feel so insanely lonely because it feels like i dont even have the chance to meet anyone new. Im a furry but im in the grey area of furry where its like i like anthro characters even NSFW wise but like the communities are fucking nuts in some of the shit that goes on there. I cant find a normalish cis lesbian furry chick anywhere. I genuinely thought it would be easier than this to find other artsy lesbians???? was i wrong to think this? there were tons of us in high-school and i see us online. Where did everyone go... ☹️

their dynamic is sooo beautiful. you can tell their souls were meant for one another 😭 …

ps im masc but the more “masc” one is STUNNNNING and more my type for some reason lmao ( that never happens )

pls whoever is listening (source) idc, please just give me this. it’s all i’ve ever wanted. money and success has never meant more than this to me.

I’ll get straight to the point - how common is it to contract HSV1 or 2 from giving oral/tribbing? I had an opportunity to have a spontaneous hookup for the first time ever, and I backed out because I’m horrified of getting herpes. Tons of people don’t know they have it since it’s not included in a lot of STI panels. So even if someone recently got tested, theres still a possibility they could be carrying it asymptomatically.

I obviously wouldn’t have intercourse if someone had visible sores. But even without visible sores, you can still contract it from asymptomatic shedding. My friend who works in healthcare insisted that I’m wrong and if I don’t see anything, theres nothing to worry about. Google says otherwise. I feel conflicted so I’d really like to hear from lesbians who have had hookups in the past. Have you ever contracted herpes from someone who did or didn’t know they had it? Does the absence of penetrative sex (not including straps etc) give us some security? I’m just trying to understand the likelihood of contracting HSV via lesbian sex, especially from someone who isn’t showing symptoms.

Edit: Ik dental dams are an option but I’m a real eater and I’m not tryna munch on rubber tbh

Honestly, I’m so over it. These authors claim to write women who love women, but what a joke . Wlw my ass

I have noticed a pattern that many of these books are literally 80% M/F scenes and maybe 20% actual F/F content. The authors spend all their time fleshing out the romance with the male leads, giving them deep backstories and super explicit, detailed sex scenes. But when it comes to the actual women? The sex scenes are brief, glossed over, or practically fade-to-black and dont evn ask about the weightage given to the romance .

It just proves how male - centered their writing actually is and how much space men take up in their heads.

I just finished Almost Life by Kiran Millwood Hargrave , and it gave me the biggest ick .

The bisexual main character spends half her time thirsting over a masculine female character by talking about how her body "looked like a man." or something along the lines .

And don't even get me started on these actual gems from the book:

"She’d completely forgotten. She crouched down beside the phone. What was she doing? She had a beautiful man, a brilliant man who loved her, and here she was playing at lesbians with Laure"

"What was it about a man’s sacrifice that made it so much more moving"

"Playing at lesbians"?? Seriously?

The whole book just proved the negative stereotypes of bi folks right.

You never see this happen in MLM books. A gay romance novel isn't going to dedicate half its pages to a female love interest, so why tf is it normal and allowed in sapphic spaces? And for some reason, lesbians keep buying and devouring these books!

Honestly, it’s high time we stop buying books from non-lesbian authors because they clearly do not care about us or our representation.

Just something that's got me wondering, as one of my lesbian couple friends is trying to have a baby right now.

I'm nearly 40 so I have seen soooo many couples get together and break up by this point. It's rare enough to find couples who have been together loooong long term, but i've noticed a pattern that keeps repeating:

My f/f couple friends who decide to have children together never make it. They end up breaking up/divorcing, usually while the child is still a preschooler. The stresses of parenting and differences in parenting styles and priorities end up breaking them up.

I know a few f/f couples with young children that haven't broken up... yet (their children are still very young) and I wonder if other lesbians have noticed the same thing in their circles or not?

I am very grateful I have two great not lesbophobic straight friends because sometimes hearing what they have to say helps me see when I am being played with or manipulated specially by bi women but from other lesbians as well, let me elaborate.

We know there are things that are considered unacceptable in hetero relationships, but when it comes to wlw relationships since we don't go with the norm some women we date try to take advantage of that by painting certain basic bounderies as just "straight people culture" that we should deconstruct. Beware of these women that try to get you to do things like accepting open relationships under the pretense that monogamy is attached to heterosexuality, accepting your partner constantly thirsting over other people or else you are labeled as toxic, and specially do NOT accept being compared to men just for fairly criticizing another woman and talking back when you are being disrespected.

The situation in particular that prompted me to ask my friends their opinion is that I saw a post from a bi woman that was complaining that her lesbian ex girlfriend would get mad at her for thirsting over men or saving pics of men, and there were so many defending her labeling lesbians as toxic and overly jealous, and of course comparing us to men and how we supposedly act just like them. So I asked my straight friends, how would they feel if their boyfriend was saving thirst trap pics from other women, showing her those pictures and even asking them if those women were hot, and on top of it being labeled as toxic for not liking it. To no one's surprise that behavior is not acceptable for them, so why is it expected to be acceptable for us?

This is why as I grown up I feel more safe my straight friends than with the rest of the lgbt community which has adopted the whole "lesbians aren't women" thing literally and unironically as if it was a progressive idea. Not so male centered straight women are hard to find though ngl lol I'm lucky to have those friends.

Okay this is a pretty online issue and I’m just ranting but I’ve seen discourse before about set sexuality vs playersexuality for companions in RPGs and a take that gets thrown around a lot is how everyone being bi/pan/playersexual is more inclusive because there are no restrictions regarding romance options and players can romance whoever they want no matter their selected gender. My issue, however, lies in how little representation this system allows. Lesbian rep specifically! We’re not given much to work with already, and I feel like this just dampens the already small chance of getting to see lesbian characters and relationships in games.

And another point, could a romance path between a female MC and companion w/ this type of romance system be considered lesbian if a male MC could go down the exact same path with no nuance whatsoever or any regard for the differences in F/F vs M/F dynamics? I just don’t get how the everyone-is-bi route is ‘more queer inclusive’ etc etc when we could instead just… be getting explicitly lesbian characters and actual representation. Judy Alvarez, I think, is a great example of a lesbian character in a game. One of her quests, Pyramid Song, specifically has lines of her when she was younger asking out another girl. We don’t see this play out on-screen, but we know she’s approaching another woman BECAUSE Judy is a lesbian. It’s a small thing, but I feel canon sexualities add a lot to the storytelling aspect of games.

Sorry if this all sounds dramatic. I know there are bigger problems but this has been something that always bums me out and I wish more devs would put time into creating more characters with defined sexualities rather than everyone having no preference 🫠

Each one I've found so far have been full of male users that just keep posting Sydney Sweeney and no one else

A few days ago, I posted a drunken ramble in another lesbian sub about how I feel really socially isolated from straight women and this crazy person started harassing me for hours about how I was male socialized and a predator.

This girl bought me a drink and put her number in my phone. Once I mentioned I had a same sex partner, she got weirdly hot and cold and kind of maneuvered a subtle way to get me to leave a bar without me waiting around for her. I do not think this girl was gay. I think she was worried I was coming onto her (I was not) just because I find a lot of straight women think the worst of lesbians, even when we are just trying to be friendly.

I may have been sticking close to her because I was really drunk, we showed up together in the same group, and I thought I was making a cool friend and FRANKLY, the stuff about Cornell 7 has been really disturbing. Now I find myself wondering if she put her number in my phone only because she was weirded out by me waiting for her to use the bathroom and wanted to signal that there were less "weird" ways to manage that anxiety. At the end of the night, I ended up leaving my phone to charge at the bar while she was waiting for a karaoke song. She then lied that she wanted to leave and very quickly just kind of walked it back and asked if it would be ok to stay there by herself. The whole thing felt humiliating. I felt like I was being treated like a guy.

I do find myself having an easier time making small talk with men because I don't have to have this immense fear about how I come across as a neurodivergent woman. I don't really like men nor feel like I have community with them. But, I have not felt like most straight women like to include me in their night life. I feel like I'm only actually ever invited to mixed-gender group outtings, which is fine, but it does sting when my straight women friends tell me they're having a girls night and purposefully do not invite me because they want to meet guys. It feels like most people do not know lesbians and do not really think we will behave differently from men. It does feel like I cannot really act like a sister or ally to women in the same way gay or straight women show up for other women. It was kind of crazy, but that night, before I ended up losing my faculties totally from drinking (way) too much, I was talking to a black girl about Cornell 7 and how minority women can't really aggressively step in to prevent harm befalling another girl. She would essentially be the "angry black woman" and I would be the "predatory, jealous lesbian". She just nodded, sagely and agreed and yet I still set myself up for this stupid interaction because I drunkenly though another woman would feel cool with me doing karaoke with her.

Obviously, my post was NOT as coherent, but I did get positive feedback from several users before another user started writing paragraphs picking apart my vent and expressing how she thought I had several mental disorders because another girl kind of dumped me outside of a bar while almost black out drunk after she learned I was gay. It felt awful to be told that I actually was a predator, a bad human, and I make women uncomfortable. I actually started to tear up (I was in a bad place) until I realized her username was insanely misogynistic. She admitted her username was based in a MISOGYNY KINK. Her reddit bio was private, but I was able to google her username and lo and behold, her most active subs were pretty revealing. She said she preferred cis spaces on another post in a community for certain kinds of people, who she lied to me she was not a member of, and also extremely degrading towards.

Like I do not have any issues with that population of people. I do have close friends who belong to that demographic. But, why lie just to harass literally everyone and make literally everyone feel ashamed??? It felt like a MASSIVE projection on her part. I just can't understand that mentality at fucking all.

She did get banned. Honestly, I hope they ban her from reddit entirely because her username itself was literally something like "b*tch 4 sale". You can't even make this shit up. But nahhh nahhhh, I'm the bad, evil, creepy person bc I was too drunk at a bar and thought another woman would help me get to my car instead of signaling I was undesirable company :////

Alright y’all. I’ve seen this discourse around and it leaves me slightly confused. I’ve considered myself a gold-star lesbian because I’ve never slept with a man. No PIV, no sex, just me slapping hands away when they got touchy during makeout session (yuck). However, I have dated men for less than a few months each in highschool. I’m in college now, and someone told me I could not be a gold star because I dated guys. And now I’m seeing that discourse online!

So I wanted to hear from ya’ll, the sanest online community so far: Is the gold star label accurate if you’ve never had sex with a man, or is it accurate if you’ve never had sex AND dated a man??

If you were to read a book claiming to be written for Lesbians about a Lesbian relationship, what would be some characterizations, plot points or details that you would want to see or would be disappointed in if present?

I really love my family (mostly the women), and they love me too.

My whole life, everyone has taken care of me. They do so much for me. Granted, they're controlling, but I never really cared.

Don't talk to boys? I don't like them anyway.

Don't go out after 7 or go out too often? I love staying home.

And some other shii I didn't care about.

I always thought I'd end up marrying a man, getting divorced after having a kid, and then travelling the world.

I genuinely thought it was normal not to like men and to be obsessed with being around women. I thought everyone felt that way and just chose men because they had to, eventually convincing themselves they liked them because marriage and having kids were mandatory. I also alway hated men soo that was torture and no body fucking understood me????

Mind you, I don't like kids OR men. 😭 When that finally clicked, I thought about marrying a man who's u know what didn't work and was about to die or something.

Yeah, that didn't work out either.

Then I found out that marriage wasn't actually mandatory and that I could just live alone. So I decided I was going to stay single forever and escape abroad so people would stop nagging me about marriage and telling me that my entire purpose in life was to reproduce.

AND THEN I FOUND OUT I'M GAY. CRAZY. 😭

The thing that finally made it click was realising how much I thought about touching and squeezing boobs and how ridiculously attractive I found women. LIKE, ACTUALLY DROOLING OVER WOMEN. 💀

Fuck. I tried to be straight again. Nope. Didn't work.

Now, my country is hella misogynistic and homophobic, and they're gonna kill meeeee. 😭

There's no way my family would ever accept this. I'd probably get cut off or worse. 🙃

I really want to escape to another country, take off my hijab, and find my wife. BUT WHAT IF THEY FIND OUT? Can't risk it 💔

Hijabi lesbians?

And how the hell am I even supposed to make that happen? Life sucks. I'm so scared, but at the same time, I want a girlfriend SO BADLY. I never knew I could be this desperate for one. I even thought I was asexual, but now... 😭

WHAT IF THEY FIND OUT? 🥹 THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME.

I am on my drive into work and a random song popped up that I haven’t listened to in a very long time. Untouchable face by Ani DiFranco. When I was younger, I listened to her mostly because she was a lesbian icon. But I’m thinking back and I’m pretty sure she’s bisexual. Do we have any true lesbian icons? Women who identify as women and only love other women. Whether their musicians, activists, actresses, artist, whatever. But actual lesbians? I kind of don’t love the idea of a bisexual woman cashing in on their lesbian following only to go home to a man at night. Or two identify as a man and a woman or neither. Just a true lesbian. Anybody?

So I am a huge gamer and am recently playing the new Gears of War E Day. They introduced a new character Mags Charter based off Elizabeth Faith Ludlow and the internet has lost its ever loving mind. They’re taking an amazing game because of lgbtqia flags and black Lesbian. The discourse around it just frustrates me. Finally we get a cool character with a moment of ptsd and loss and it’s trashed. Im sick of the attacks from all around. We exsist and some of us even served. Then these red pill arm chair chuds take away something once more. I feel like with all this attitude we’ll end up with just more sad reskined COD/Fortnite games…

Would y'all want a members only speakeasy just for lesbians and what would you want it to have?

Thinking about doing this in the next few years since there aren't really any truly lesbian only spaces and well "be the change you want to see in the world" and all that.

The plan would obviously be to start one and then maybe start others all over eventually.