r/latamlit • u/Marksman1977 • 18h ago
Brasil Ana Paula Maia’s approach: “I have not the slightest interest in solving my problems through literature. I want to look for new problems, new questions, to go beyond. To be someone different. I wanted to be a brute. If I were a man, I’d be a brute. I’d be big and strong. Since I can’t, I write.”
In literature, or in any other art, you can only do what you’re able to, not what you want. Otherwise, we’d have plenty of Machados and Guimarães.
I have a lot of trouble writing about women, about the feminine universe. Every time I try to write in a female voice, it comes out terrible. I think it’s awful. I don’t even start anymore. I identify with the masculine universe. I’m not sure where that began. I think it was in childhood; I got along well with boys. I had a punk rock band in my teens that was all boys. I watched a lot of movies, always with tough guys. I started reading literature through male authors.
And I like men. I have a very special empathy for them, not just attraction to the opposite sex, but an empathy of simply liking them. I’ve always liked being around men, hearing the sound of male voices and conversation. I’ve always found them funnier and more entertaining than women’s. When I started writing, I noticed this very strong empathy with the masculine universe. The moment I let the narrative voice loose, I’d think: “How strange, my voice only comes out like this, deep and gruff.” It’s very hard to understand where this voice, this connection, comes from.
The settings I deal with are different from those in women’s literature. There’s a convergence in women’s literature, in interests and subjects. You can notice it. Maybe you’d find them at the same afternoon tea or with the same psychoanalyst. You could put characters from books by different women authors in the same room, in the same therapist’s waiting room. You feel a convergence of stories, worlds, dramas, loves. I’m not the least bit interested in talking about erotic love, about love between man and woman, about solving my problems. Literature, for me, isn’t that world, isn’t that place. It’s something completely different.
I’m already a woman twenty-four hours a day. I want to be a little bit of a man, a little bit of a brute. I want to knock down walls, cremate bodies, slaughter pigs. I want to do something different. And I can only do that in literature, because in this life I won’t be able to do it; I don’t have that possibility. Literature gave me the possibility of being something else, of going beyond the middling plane where I live.
Even as a woman, I’m extremely limited. There are a thousand things I’d like to do as a woman, but I don’t have the physical makeup for them. Sometimes, opening a jar of hearts of palm is hard. I like dealing with my womanhood, but it limits me terribly. I see that men always go so much further. They fall, get up, keep running. They play soccer, they skateboard. Women already have certain problems. I have a certain physical fragility. I’m extremely fragile. I twist my ankle, it has to be put in a cast; I have a crooked spine, I walk crooked. I had braces. I wear glasses, I’m allergic to everything, I have intolerances, allergies. The fragility bothers me.
The best part of writing is the characters, the possibilities literature gives me to go beyond. I only write because I can go beyond. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t write. If there were a law saying I could only write about women, about my little life, I’d say: “Well, buddy, I’ll do something else, I’ll take other paths. Maybe even more feminine paths. Cooking would be far more interesting than writing only about my little routine, sorting out little problems.”
Sometimes literature goes into the field of personal problems. I have not the slightest interest in solving my problems through literature. I want to look for new problems, new questions, to go beyond. To be someone different. I wanted to be a brute. If I were a man, I’d be a brute. I’d be big and strong. I’d lay a concrete slab, take on a construction job, put up a wall. I think I’d like that. Since I can’t, I write.
I saw someone mention this author on another thread, so I looked her up and found this. Honestly, I’ve never heard a woman speaking like this. It seems like a peculiar approach to writing. Does anyone know where to start with her work?