r/labrats • u/lunenix • 36m ago
Master, i am tired....
So, I don’t know about you, but here in Brazil, some technical high schools require students to complete a final project. The catch? When you choose this track, you’re enrolled in BOTH regular high school and a technical program.
The program I chose was biotechnology—and I’m not gonna lie, I genuinely love it. Some classes weren’t particularly useful, but others were wonderful and helped me grow as a person. We also get access to the lab and all that cool science stuff.
ANYWAY.
Yesterday, I spent NINE HOURS in the lab. From 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. And what did we accomplish? The centrifuge went haywire (no idea what happened; it started making this ridiculously loud rumbling noise even though it was still spinning, and nobody properly taught us how to use it), we couldn’t get half the things we needed done, and we ended up making some YPD culture,and THE PEPTONE SMELLED LIKE ACTUAL HELL. I SWEAR TO GOD. That smell followed me for the REST OF THE DAY. I was already upset and a shit, this smell just had me shit and stinky.
AND THEN we found out that yeast extract ISN’T THE SAME THING AS YEAST. So we prepared the medium without the yeast extract because we thought, “Hey, if we put the yeast in the autoclave, it’ll die.” And before anyone comes at me for not looking it up beforehand: WE HAVE MORE THAN FIVE ASSIGNMENTS DUE NEXT WEEK. For BOTH regular high school and technical school. TWO OF THEM ARE MASSIVE AND HAVE A MILLION LITTLE DETAILS.
I AM TIRED.
And the worst part is that I genuinely LOVE science. I think it’s fascinating, important, and fun. But holy shit, it’s exhausting. You’re constantly tired, you end up eating like crap because you barely have time for anything, and everyone expects you to deliver increasingly complicated results, like i am fucking Hedy lammar or Marie curie..........I’m not even old enough to drink alcohol yet, and there I am producing 2 generation ethanol with minimal help.
And don’t even get me STARTED on how unfair the workload distribution feels.
The cosmetics groups—which were supposedly going to be harder—don’t even have half the workload we do. Their advisor said they could buy a ready-made mask base and add their extract, without conducting all the tests, because there wouldn’t be enough time. Fine. Whatever. That’s what I tell myself so I don’t start crying in the shower.
BUT THEN WHY CAN’T WE BUY ETHANOL, USE IT IN OUR PROJECT, HUH!? Or dunno....DUMP SUGAR in this shit to the yeast eat like the group of bioethanol last year?
We don’t have an advisor or co-advisor who can help carry out the work for us. Meanwhile, other groups have professors helping with their experiments. The phenolic extract group? A professor ran their DPPH test—or is going to run it, I don’t give a fuck. A lot of them just had to make the extract! And the bioethanol team? Fuck they, let they do a fucking Hydrolysis with cloridric acid alone!
I KNOW SCIENCE IS HARD. I KNOW EXPERIMENTS FAIL. I KNOW RESEARCH TAKES TIME. I’M NOT EXPECTING EVERYTHING TO BE EASY. BUT THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEARNING HOW TO DO RESEARCH AND BEING EXPECTED TO DO THE WORK OF AN ENTIRE LAB WITH A STUDENT’S SCHEDULE, A STUDENT’S RESOURCES, AND BARELY ANY GUIDANCE, i am like, almost saying fuck you to every teacher who give us work to do.
And as if the final project weren’t enough, I ALSO HAVE A RESEARCH PROGRAM PROJECT TO FINISH. I have a submission due for the science fair NEXT WEEK, and we don’t even have half of it ready.
Our coordinator is completely unhelpful, and there are serious allegations about him that we only heard about after our advisor assigned him to us. There’s also a previous project that he allegedly appropriated, and our advisor STILL put us in a position where we have to work with him. And somehow, we’re still expected to include his name on our work.
I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT.
The final project is hell. High school is hell. Technical school is a nightmare. The research program is kicking my ass.
And the worst part? I still love science!
I love learning new things. I love the lab. I love discovering how stuff works. I love the feeling of finally understanding something that seemed impossible. But I hate how much pressure they put on students. I hate how little guidance we sometimes get. I hate that we’re expected to produce professional-level results while juggling a ridiculous number of assignments and deadlines.
I’m so exhausted I can barely cry anymore.
I just want this year to be OVER, I want to go back to my mother's womb 👹👹👹