r/kurdistan • u/salted_caramel_girl • 1d ago

Ask Kurds 🤔 What would be culturally appropriate?

I matched with a Kurdish guy (from Turkey, if it matters) back in March from an online dating site.

We're both located in Canada and roughly 40 years old.

To my mind, it was pretty clear that at the beginning, his intentions towards me were purely casual.

However, after our last meeting a couple nights ago, he seems to have changed his tune. To be honest, I think he finally accepted that trying to treat me casually is against his self interest.

The morning after, he made a formal promise to be my good friend....and seemed very anxious that I return that commitment.

I know how I interpret things (for context, I was born in Canada but my family is Korean, and I've already seen how our different cultural backgrounds have lead to wildly different expectations) - so I'd really appreciate hearing from some Kurdish people what they think is going on so I can compare.

Also: what are there any particular rules or customs I should be aware of when it comes to appropriate conduct between a man and a woman who are now "good friends", after some romantic/sexual involvement?

I just want to know what I should reasonably expect from him and what I can reasonably do without giving any false ideas or hopes.

I'm happy to provide more details if needed, I just don't know what would (or wouldn't be?) relevant to the situation.

6 Upvotes

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3

u/MurderDeathTaco 1d ago

American born here, so might not have as much insight as others; but, have you considered just asking him?

1

u/salted_caramel_girl 1d ago

He's not the sort of person to answer that in a way one typically considers "honest".

3

u/MurderDeathTaco 1d ago

Sure you want to date a person like that?

Relationships predicated on open and honest communication are way easier to manage; and, I would argue that “honest” is synonymous with mature regardless of cultural background

Just my 2 cents - good luck!

1

u/salted_caramel_girl 1d ago

Did you even read my post? Lol. I'm sorry but..truly: what was the point of this?

6

u/gingggg 1d ago

Girl if you can’t talk with him openly then there’s no hope, doesn’t matter cultural background

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u/Repulsive-Discount35 Kirmanc 5h ago

Not sure what exactly you’re asking here but if a guy says he wants to be “good friends” after a sexual involvement that means he still wants to have sex with you but doesn’t want to commit to you. This has nothing to do with Kurdish culture, guys from every culture does this unfortunately.