And yeah, I know I'm changing up the format a bit, the third panel should be both of them sitting quietly for a moment...just use your imagination

John Coltrane = JC
Jacob Collier = JC

you know who else’s initials = JC?

That’s right

Jesus Christ

It was never a coincidence

Why did Bud walk in if there was Monk already thumping? And what it is they got into?

he wrote a love supreme? They are both shit

My boyfriend studies jazz in college so whenever his classmates ask if I'm into jazz I can say one of the jazz messengers kissed me for crazy lore.

He only kissed me on the hand after I saw one of his gigs but it's funnier to say "yeah one of the jazz messengers actually kissed me" cus technically it's true.

I don't have any proof just take my word for it

I also know next to nothing about jazz but my bf tells me everything he learns from his lectures, so I know that cool jazz is for white people. I also listened to one oscar Peterson album.

One of the greatest jazz musicians of all time, but just everything he released after Bird died was garbage

Just got finished seeing Robert Glasper at The Blue Note here in NYC and I am FLOORED at how horrendous the show was. He was too drunk to hardly perform. He brought out Ledisi and Little Sims which was amazing but after that he only played maybe two other songs, in addition to come on stage over an hour late! His set was him and Terrace Martin talking and shooting the shit and repeatedly telling the audience about how high and drunk they were and that was pretty much it. In total, Robert maybe played from six minutes. A huge let down from someone I thought very highly of, such a slap in the face to the people who paid money to see him tonight.

Everyone keeps recommending me newfangled complicated shit, like Jelly Roll Morton, Buddy Bolden, and Louis Armstrong. Those guys are way too modern and complex sounding for my tastes, does anyone have any recommendations that don’t sound like someone’s math homework? I just want some nice classic jazz

Sure, Hollywood portrays jazz as all heroin needles and dark, damp clubs in New York, but that’s just romanticized misery. Jazz is glamor, gilded-age elegance, and classical music with just enough swing to feel cultured. Before the hipsters showed up and ruined everything, jazz was smoking a cigarette outside a quaint cafe in Paris, wearing the cutest outfit you own.

Jazz is knowing how to improvise, but holding back out of respect for the balcony seats who paid a pretty penny on Ticketmaster. Jazz is looking as cute as you can on Instagram, not dark and sickly like Bill Evans. Contrary to popular belief the secret to a good tone is eight hours of sleep.

You could argue that bossa nova was always pop, and Laufey is simply returning jazz to its natural habitat the aesthetically pleasing and the mildly but tastefully rebellious. What people don't seem to understand is that Laufey has returned to the true origins of what real jazz legends like Duke Ellington understood and what jazz is really all about; lookin' fuckin' cute.

Laufey is jazz. Laufey is love.

A Laufey supreme. A Laufey supreme. A Laufey supreme.

He must have been so scared and confused :(

He would probably say in order to play pleasant music, you must keep your hip bones engaged. He'd then play an example of bad music, and say "See, that's playing while not engaging your hip bones." Then he'd probably play something intricate with extensions, and say he engaged his hip bones that time.

“Bebop Riddle IV” more like AI slop-riddled bore. What would it take to start oppressing Classical musicians the way they deserve to be bullied? 😭