r/humor • u/Coffee_MysticRealm • 20h ago

Not OC(Reposted content) Quantum Mechanics

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5.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

108

u/GoonsukeNakamura 19h ago

Why i spend 30 minutes in the toilet

6

u/BlueSnoopy4 16h ago

I hope you meant “on” not “in”

3

u/EgyComanda82 19h ago

Yeah I'm failing in that for 12 years of marriage

0

u/Annual_Beginning_600 17h ago

I wrote an entire post on this.

6

u/pimp-bangin 17h ago

Guess I'm never reading it because you didn't link it and I'm not coming back to this thread

79

u/AlexP80 18h ago

I mean, he's right. That's also the hardest thing to explain to men, but it's not what was asked

75

u/AloneAddiction 17h ago edited 17h ago
  • Quantum = small
  • Mechanics = fixes cars
  • Quantum Mechanics = dwarf car repairmen

5

u/Xenodad 16h ago

So basically Ant-Man (Lang was an engineer who ‘fixed’ (analyzed to understand) the suit in the first one)

18

u/jy3n2 12h ago

*Yes, I know the brain stem is mislabeled.

10

u/Top-Cupcake4775 17h ago

you can't explain quantum mechanics using language. it's only expressible in math. any attempts to translate that math into language sound like nonsense.

1

u/iAmMechaMan 9h ago

This still doesn’t make quantum mechanics any easier for me to explain.

1

u/dtwhitecp 3h ago

the post just says "explain", but that's a cool and really smart sounding take

1

u/Lunarvolo 2h ago

Some parts of it are stupidly easy to explain people just overcomplicate it because "quantum". Shrodingers equations/math part, brutal.

Superposition, slit experiment, etc, are pretty easy.

Causality, FTL knowledge gets challenging, although since faster than speed of light is possible (light going relative to light in opposite direction) FTL knowledge isn't too bad.

1

u/hightrix 14h ago

If you can’t explain a topic simply, then you simply don’t fully understand it.

9

u/AppropriateArcher960 13h ago

Quantum mechanics isn’t fully understood yet by anyone.

2

u/whybothergoaway 12h ago

Then people should stop trying to explain it!

5

u/not_so_subtle_now 11h ago

Just stop talking about it completely until everything is known

That's how it works, right?

2

u/SirGelson 13h ago

True. And that's been the case with quantum mechanics for anyone who's ever lived so far.

16

u/Turak64 19h ago edited 17h ago

This morning's example. I asked for a lift to the train station to save in parking. Told the Mrs I had to leave at 8:30. She was late, said I should have told her to be ready for 8:15.. Oorrrr just be ready when asked?

23

u/EgyComanda82 19h ago

She is right, you have to anticipate this as a married man, are you new to marriage life or what?!

19

u/HaggisLad 18h ago

It's not only marriage, it's just some people are shit with time. We told my mother and only my mother that our wedding was 30 minutes earlier than it was because I know that woman.

6

u/Turak64 17h ago

It's this. Was with her for 10 yeers before we were married (been married for 10 years). She probably has been on time twice

0

u/EgyComanda82 18h ago

Please tell me she made it on time

3

u/HaggisLad 17h ago

she did, we had been using the strategy for years at that point

4

u/HateChan_ 14h ago

This is me with my boyfriend. That man does not care about being on time. I need to tell him the time is 15 minutes before because otherwise we will always be late 😭

I spent too long obsessing over setting alarms to manage my own poor time management for him to ruin it for me goddamnit!!

3

u/WorkingMouse 14h ago

That sucks; sorry you've got to deal with it! I can empathize with both ends; I've struggled with time management and I play TTRPGs so I'm constantly dealing with people with poor time management.

Not sure if it'll help your beau, but one thing that made it easier for me was realizing that being late can be an act of disrespect: showing you value your time far more than those you're meeting with. It made the effort to be on-time more worthwhile to me.

2

u/HateChan_ 7h ago

With my ADHD, time management is difficult, but my parents drilled that into me how I am wasting other people’s time by being late to everything.

I’m trying to tell him that but he doesn’t listen 😭

It isn’t the worst in the world obviously, but it is kind of aggravating

6

u/Ghastly-Jack 18h ago

Welcome to my life as someone married to someone with ADHD and severe time blindness. It drives me nuts! I am aware of his problems with time and plan accordingly but not matter what I do he finds a way to be late. If I tell him to hurry up or remind him about the time one too-many times he snaps at me for nagging.

Meanwhile I am just trying to get him to his doctor's appointment.

2

u/a22e 16h ago

My wife would be angry that I'm not ready to leave at 7:30.

1

u/Turak64 15h ago

That's a keeper.

1

u/Ok-Hyena4541 13h ago

Yeah, if someone is chronically late then telling them to be early so you are actually on time works until they catch on.

0

u/Environmental_Ant268 17h ago

It's your fault man, it's always is just accept it

6

u/JumpingJack79 12h ago

I can explain quantum mechanics. This guy Schrodinger went skiing and came up with an equation that very accurately predicts the probability of things happening at a small scale. Nobody knows why it works or what it means. Schrodinger himself thought its implications and interpretations were so absurd he put a cat in a box. Einstein didn't like it either. Some others got high and started dreaming of infinite parallel universes. Feynman said, "Just shut up and calculate."

Did I miss anything?

2

u/The-Leading-Man 7h ago

Other than much of that being incorrect, nah nailed it

1

u/JumpingJack79 2h ago

Says much is incorrect without any specifics. Suspicious.

1

u/Large-Hamster-199 3h ago

If you think this is explaining a topic, please don't ever become a teacher

1

u/JumpingJack79 2h ago

Oh no, it was my dream job 😭

I challenge you to do better, Mr Teacher.

5

u/Bearded_Pip 19h ago

He’s not wrong.

2

u/Usual-Language-745 17h ago

It’s harder to explain why boobs are so great

2

u/Ok_Law219 17h ago

Why did you blur fineman's account?

2

u/CurveLongjumpingMan 14h ago

This is a setup and punchline worthy of the great Ken M.

2

u/KareemOWheat 8h ago

Reminds me of this professors opener for his quantum mechanics class

"Here's my goal. Right now I am the only one who doesn't understand quantum mechanics. In about 7 days, all of you will be unable to understand quantum mechanics"

2

u/blacklotusY 6h ago

“Nothing’s wrong.” And you have to explain that nothing really is wrong. Or when they ask you what you’re thinking about, and “nothing” isn’t an acceptable answer, so you have to lie and come up with something else

2

u/Goblincomics 19h ago

Bro got the point

1

u/EgyComanda82 19h ago

Good one my boy, good one 😉

1

u/Mr_HahaJones 15h ago

How to just say what you mean, instead of expect everyone to be a mind reader.

1

u/AMonitorDarkly 15h ago

Your chances of getting what you want are exponentially higher if you inform us of what that is.

1

u/Ok-Violinist-5432 13h ago

What even is that first reply

1

u/LuckyIntroduction939 6h ago

Did you know the average intelligence for dudes is pretty much just dumb or highly gifted while girls is generally average

1

u/LuckyIntroduction939 6h ago

I can explain quantumn mechanics

-5

u/RegularLocal5050 16h ago

Women are smarter than you are

4

u/After-Big9529 16h ago

The statement wasn't "women are smarter than men are", it was "women are smarter than YOU are".

2

u/RegularLocal5050 16h ago

Can you please not womansplain English to me when I just quoted the comment properly?

0

u/After-Big9529 12h ago

You appear to be simple... so I'm not sure how to explain this with small enough words.

My comment wasn't about your quote, it was about your GIF.

1

u/RegularLocal5050 11h ago

Is it hard going 5 seconds without womansplaining?

1

u/0bAm3 10h ago

Guys i just took a mad dump

1

u/After-Big9529 9h ago

Angry-mad or crazy-mad?

1

u/After-Big9529 9h ago

It must be frustrating being you... having people constantly have to explain things to you. I can appreciate that you want to blame them, rather than accept that it is because you don't understand anything.

Keep working on self-improvement there big-guy. One day you might understand things without having to get them explained to you.

1

u/RegularLocal5050 8h ago

It's wild actually meeting someone who takes their womansplaining this seriously

1

u/After-Big9529 6h ago

Its cute how hard you keep trying to use the same insult...

I would explain why it isn't working at all, but you don't like things being explained to you.

1

u/RegularLocal5050 4h ago

Do you womansplaining for a profession? You should really consider it if not

1

u/After-Big9529 2h ago

If your strategy is to bore people with your repetitive lame joke until they give up... then you succeeded.

-1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

3

u/OpeningHappy9692 19h ago

nah that's easy to explain

i don't know quantum mechanics

-1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

5

u/OpeningHappy9692 19h ago

no it's just that it's really hard to explain quantum mechanics when you don't know it

-2

u/Hot_Plant8696 18h ago

Such a cheap tought lol.

-1

u/Le-Charles07 16h ago

Why she's wrong.

-4

u/Acrobatic-Birthday48 17h ago

The reason it’s harder for him to explain it to women is either because he doesn’t actually understand, or he’s too gun shy around females.

7

u/Vandreigan 17h ago

No one understands quantum mechanics. It makes explaining quantum mechanics very difficult

-1

u/Acrobatic-Birthday48 17h ago

Quite incorrect. The issue people have with the mechanix of quantum sciences is being to pointed and not broader spectrum.

8

u/Vandreigan 17h ago

I’m a physicist, so please go ahead and elaborate. I’m all ears…eyes.

5

u/Chemical-Ad-7575 17h ago

Are you saying you're uncertain of his position? Maybe he can bring you up to speed.

3

u/Tasty-Jump-2011 16h ago

Relax and let him respond. He can't be in two places at once.

2

u/Vandreigan 12h ago

He says he understands quantum mechanics. I'm absolutely certain of his position. I just have no idea where he's going with it.

1

u/Chemical-Ad-7575 12h ago

I'm sure he's got good principles.

2

u/lacegem 14h ago

I'll explain quantum mechanics in a way a physicist can understand. For ease, let us imagine particles as spherical cows in a frictionless perfect vacuum. Also, let us imagine the universe as a spherical pasture of perfect null conditions. Also, let us imagine spacetime as a spherical trough of drinking water made of the perfect Platonic concept of water. With this in mind, we can begin the explanation:

I like cows.

(Do you think I'm ready to publish?)

-1

u/Interesting_Cup_6221 16h ago

You became physicist with ChatGPT?

5

u/Vandreigan 16h ago

I became a physicist by getting a bachelor's degree, going to grad school, passing the masters level courses, passing the Ph.D. qualification exam, doing years of research, and preparing and presenting a dissertation. All before chatGPT was public.

5

u/TrontRaznik 15h ago

The reason it's hard to explain is because it's fucking quantum mechanics. That is the god damn joke. That it's hard to explain to everyone, which includes women. 

2

u/Le-Charles07 16h ago

If you understand quantum mechanics, you made a mistake somewhere (probably involving a spherical cow).