I had a great day today.

I mean most days are pretty good now. Nothing spectacular, everything is just.. normal. Wake up, cook some for the guys, spend time with people who care about me as we help each other better our situation. Not really much if any dysphoria to worry about since SRS years ago. Took care of all the animals - theres some wildlife that come here now 🥹 I love watching their cute little selves play and eat. Sometimes i sit outside next to them and smoke a little while they eat and just relax.. We went out to a couple stores and I made a really tastey Pine-apple cumin rice dish with fall of the bone thighs in the instapot. omg. Everyone loved it

And part of all of this successful transition and happiness is due to all of you who pay state or federal taxes - which funded my transition needs. Thank you so much for this great day and every great day after!

I have tried getting involved with so many communities (furry,brony,gaming,art,etc) and interests over the years and I feel it’s just a drag on my life. I honestly don’t find enjoyment in any of those things and it’s just a drug to help me distract myself from the fact that I’m a girl in a guys body and not able to do anything about it. I just feel like I don’t fit in anywhere in these fandoms and that I force myself to have a fursona or draw just for the sake of conformity when I really don’t want to do it.

I also force myself to be Thomas but I really don’t like living as him and feel really uncomfortable. I’ve tried the new name Tiffany lately and I really like that name much more. I hate being seen as a guy and I am just numb to it now and detached from my body from being referred to as such.

Honestly I want to move onto another chapter of my life that isn’t nerd culture or art or ponies as I don’t get anything out of it and I never really found community in those spaces.

Plain and simple no explanation needed. Can be simply yes or no.

From personal pov, things are like this:

Social dysphoria

Before I was mostly heavily dissociating from body, being jealous of others and not functioning well in life ( human rejection, depression and lack of will to life so on)
Not very glad to be alive.

In December it will be 5 yrs in medically,
Things are similar as above, but rarely occasionally I get to experience euphoria or at least get some dopamine hit from brain on the right hormone.
Sure I get gendered right way more often now vs zero before, but one bad experience is enough to nullify everything for me for a week or two.

What is more uniquely difficult is more pressure socially, don't get to hop in tracksuit and not having to worry how people see me anymore
- now there is whole ritual worrying each morning how you look before leaving the house, so you don't attract abuse from something being off.

I feel I stand out and it sucks ass so much, miss being invisible
Not having paranoias or people staring at me.

Estrogen also makes emotions much stronger (when I am not numb), so I have to avoid mirrors way more often not to spiral from crying episode or SI episode vs dissociating previously to cope.

Physical dysphoria

Pluses is estrogen works for brain so if social dysphoria or mental health doesn't spoil the day,
I get to feel okay ish.

Some bodily things I like better sure now than before.

The problem is now hyper focused on things that spoil the appearance and push to androgynous look I dont want and ruins the day.

Get to have more anxiety about things that remain e.g. nose FFS didn't fix or SRS I can't have.

I am largely talking about myself, but I won't sugarcoat it, I think it goes for several others.

Every time I have a thought that I'm inclined to share here, it's probably because it's incredibly bitter and resentful, or just needlessly complaining about other trans people. I think like the last 3 times I've made a post here I've come back the next day and been like "this is unhinged, why did I post this" and delete it.

I think that says something about myself which I'm not really a fan of. The thought of finding myself ranting about others 2-3 years from now feels gross and like a maladaptive coping mechanism that I'd rather try to avoid.

I commented on a transition timeline of someone in the translater sub, I asked them questions and offered some advice, and I will admit it wasn’t asked for, but sometimes when I’ve seen some girls struggling and I’ve offered advice, they’ve been very grateful. I’m also happy if they say they are good and just to carry on.

This particular individual I didn’t fully understand, and it seems like they only care about one specific aspect of their transition and then called me narcissist when I said that I find that quite worrying.

I’ve scrubbed that name because I don’t know the rules, but I’m trying to be fair.

What do you all think?

https://ibb.co/1f1s30k3

Im a 26 year old trans woman and right now im homeless in Los Angeles. My life exploded in Febuary and had to move back in with my abusive mother. After months of looking for jobs through the fog of depression and abuse my mother finally had enough of me and threw me out. I was north of LA in a desert and luckily have a car (not paid off tho) and wasnt gonna be homeless out there so drove to LA.

Whats funny is that I worked in mental health south of LA. I worked with a few homeless clients and heard about how shitty the services here in LA county are but figured maybe something else was going on. But no, it is horrible.

Before you say go here go there, ive done that. Ive reached out to the places you get when you Google. LA LGBT center, trans wellness center, and ofc 211, and others. The worst thing is that many of these services ONLY provide housing and I will be real id rather live in my car. Right now I only know two irl people, and im living on an unrestricted street behind their apartment building.

Its hard because im from another county and so need to update my public records for it. Getting a job in my field is basically impossible because of some legal trouble im in. Getting a regular job feels impossible too. Im out of spiro, out of my ADHD meds, and running low on needles and my vial of estrogen. I'll be honest im fairly depressed. I was in therapy but obviously cant go anymore so thats gone.

Ive been transitioning for 5 years and have all my documents changed so haven't faced any discrimination so thats nice. I pass very well and im scared of that honestly. Had a guy wait outside the store yesterday to ask me for my number and it rattled me a bit.

Im sad. I have my car payment coming up this month and am fairly certain ive used all my extensions. I dont know what to do honestly. I don't even have my social security card or birth certificate so it feels so impossible. All the while my birther is going to disconnect my phone in 9 days. Seriously asking why im bothering anymore

Hey guys 21 here.

Was wondering how many others are into country or have jobs that are considering country ?

I work with cattle!

I absolutely love it and im wondering if there are other people who do this kind of work or just similiar to it?

(Also an student studying medicine and Healthcare)

So basically I’m screwed. My coworkers are at best passively transphobic and at worst downright nasty.. Ranging from “you are one of the good ones” to “you need to be cured of your delusions”. They outed me to the entire plant after I told a coworker who I thought was a friend. I live in a terrible red state so finding insurance that covers is probably going to be difficult, but this jobs plan covers everything so I don’t want to leave at least till I can get bottom surgery out of the way. The problem is the constant bs around my coworkers making fun of every change I make or sexualizing my body while insisting im still a man and it’s somehow not gay for them to look is taking a pretty serious toll on my mental health. Hr will do absolutely nothing I cant even get them to give me time to go to the therapist without just taking pto.

How do you cope with places like this when you cant leave?

​

hi im a transwoman staying in a shelter in brooklyn and really need any side type work while im getting my documents in order to secure a full time job. if anyone has or knows anyone who has opportunities i have a background in housekeeping both for private companies and motels, landscaping, pressure-washing, and moving and have references. really in a tight spot and would really appreciate anything. thank you!

I've been doing laser hair removal for my face and neck for a little less than a year. I have an appointment every month. The first session I was asked if I was sensitive to the sun. I said yes because I'm pretty pale and I burn easy. We did about 6 sessions? I never was sensitive after. The hair was easier to shave, but I still had to shave every day. Especially around my chin and upper lip. Recently I got a new tech and i told her about my chin area so we upped the settings to the max and, again, a bit easier to shave, but if I skip a day of shaving, my face feels like velcro. We've already done like 3-4 sessions. I'm so annoyed still having to choose between red bumps and velcro. When will I be able to skip a day of shaving? I had reddish-brown facial hair. Idk if the laser lightens the color, and I wouldn't know considering I basically shave every day. When I skip, which is rarely, you can't necessarily see the hair, but it's coarse and messes up the way my makeup sits. Do I need electrolysis? A new laser place? More time? Idk. I'm just frustrated.

I think it's really damaging to say this to any trans person, especially trans women. I see so many posts where people reply with things like, “You just need more time on HRT,” and then, months or even years later, those same people are still struggling with passing. I've seen people get these comments even after being on HRT for three years. I've received these comments myself, too.

I feel like this kind of advice gives people false hope. It makes them believe that if they just wait long enough, things will eventually change and they'll start passing. But I think we need to be more honest about the fact that HRT doesn't necessarily change everyone's appearance enough for them to pass, especially if they already feel that passing will be difficult for them before starting HRT.

I also hate comments telling people to wait before even considering FFS. I'm six months on HRT, and I already know that I'll need FFS. I knew that even before starting HRT. I'm planning to start consulting with surgeons in about two months, and hopefully, I'll be able to get FFS within the next two years.

Yet people still tell me that I should wait. What frustrates me even more is that these are often the same people who tell you that you already look good and will probably pass eventually. But honestly, comments like these can be really hurtful. I know I won't be passing anytime soon, and being told otherwise doesn't make me feel better. It just gives me false hope and makes it harder to deal with reality.

I wish people understood that sometimes, what we need isn't empty reassurance or someone telling us to wait. We need honesty, understanding, and the space to make our own decisions about our transitions without being told that time alone will magically solve everything.

I (22MTF) have the biggest, grossest, most neanderthal looking brow ridge ever. It always made me dysphoric since starting transitioning but the further I progress , its only getting worse. I feel physically ill looking at it. Its fucking vile. I'm currently in the process of trying to get FFS done with Kaiser here in Washington. However, the wait lists for even consultations are insane. I've heard 3-4 years for Tommy Liu and I don't even have that long before my insurance coverage under my Dad expires. I know he's really good at type 3 forehead contouring (something I desperately need) which is why I'm looking at him specifically. All the other surgeons sent by my Kaiser case manager are hard to find details on and none of them seem to possess the same ability of type 3 contouring as Liu.

So its either suffer until I can maybe have FFS done before 26, or I pay out of pocket and look elsewhere, which I might just end up doing. Like, I literally cry in the mirror looking at it because its so grotesque. MEANWHILE, REGULAR CIS MEN GET FLAT FOREHEAD ALL THE TIME, BUT NOOOO! I GET THE WORST OF THE WORST. Fuck me and fuck my life. Being me is fucking terrible.

It is deeply painful to carry the weight of the unfulfilled mental/physical needs from feminizing surgeries while watching the trajectory of my life feel hindered by the delay of aforementioned surgeries. The absence of the lifesaving, medically necessary, gender-affirming feminizing surgeries can create a persistent, aching emptiness- a feeling that I feel forced to survive in a body and reality that does not fully reflect who I truly am, while constantly grieving the lighter more vibrant life I could have lived if I received those surgeries sooner. That heaviness is compounded by the haunting awareness of people from my past, such as childhood acquaintances/friends and others I grew up with in my childhood, all walked away leaving behind a trail ofjudgment, gossip, and cruel expectations. It is exhausting to know that instead of offering support, some may have actively rooted for my downfall, waiting for me to break, internalize self-hatred, and/or end up isolated in institutions just so they could validate their own negative malicious narratives about me. It is a profound betrayal to realize that a previous therapist who had the power or resources to help me access the care (surgeries) I needed chose instead to withhold it as they weaponized my traumatic pain and questioned my sanity to justify the neglectful delay of surgeries. Wanting to live fully female and authentically as myself is not a delusion or a flaw; it is a fundamental human right, and being denied that path from happening sooner while being targeted by the malice of others is a heavy burden that was preventable..

With the exception of celebrities or activists. Even then, many famous people dont have a choice. Nobody wants to be "The Trans Celebrity" unless they do.. then I dont get it.

I dont understand what causes some trans people to decide being trans is their entire livelihood. Yes its my entire life, but its a proscess I'm hoping to get out of. Its not who I am. It doesnt define me.

I dont like acknlowledging that I'm trans publically unless someone gets the balls to ask, which has never happened before by a cis person. The idea of being openly trans is a fucking nightmare.

Extreme example: A friend's sort of mutual acquaintance apparently signed up for an all male dorm, is almost a decade on T, obviously no period, has a beard, post-op, and decided to tell all of his cis male roomates the first day that he was trans and has a vagina. Why??? Why would you do this to yourself?? What use is this info to them other than to oppress you and put you in danger??

Other openly trans people will also seem to decide that I am also openly trans by loudly discussing surgeries, hormones, and natal genitals in public to me expecting me to participate.

A trans woman made me go shopping with her under the guise of "buying bras for her trans boyfriend" (ew, but nothing wrong with him) and then proceeded to say that once she gets tit surgeries shes going to drag me back so I can tell her her cup size and help her?? God its disgusting. And for the record, I dont wear bras and have been binding my chest to the point of disrupting the growth since they even appeared. So I genuinely wouldnt know. I kept telling her that and she wouldnt stop joking about it. If she asked a cis man that it would be cheating, no?

I'll refuse to acknowledge my birth sex to the public, ignore the private transition I'm going through, and because I do that apparently I'm transphobic. The same people justify this by saying I should "stop pretending I am what I'm not." Is that not even more violently transphobic? I'm sick of these people. I dont get what the benefit of being "openly trans" is when youre just a regular person. Its disturbing to everybody around you, especially other people who are trans that have confided in you. Visibility is a disease.

Unless you don’t mind publicly sharing your medical protocols for transitioning…
I know everyone has an opinion, and it’s very common to have your own personal medical choices scrutinized online by people who don’t understand the whole picture…

DM me your interesting, unique or unconventional transitioning timeline using medical/aesthetic treatments to obtain the look/contentness you desired in your transfem journey.
Thanks! 💗

Common theme I see for trans women we try to conform to societal pressure as in 'go gym to be manly'

Then we do enough damage with weight lifting in an attempt to please society to look more masculine or try to feel good as men cause they tell you being strong and muscular suppose to make you feel good as a man or alpha (or whatever lol)

Later on, we end up regretting this a lot. Our strengthened bones and muscles stall progress or make it impossible to reverse enough.

Some people take steroids and supplements, and that ends up doing perma mark.

How did you repress as trans man or trans masculine that harmed your body enough that it become a problem not easy to fix later?

Constant gymming as well?

EDIT: Thanks for insights, some I haven't thought out despite being obvious like birth control, pregnancies

I think we should memefy this as the first language macro this community produces on its own, a literal original creation, and in the sense that, as a community larger than this mere reddit subgroup, but still encased in our own niche, we make it known that self-policing as a community is something quite important and that the " every1onje is vALiD|" modus operandi might have a severe price, after all... I mean, somebody just came around and sort of threatened everyone on this subgroup that they pray they never meet them in a dark alley because getting forced to do things in a dark alley is just a consequence of that creature being there, and not a crime nor an offense, it's just life and it's your fault for walking thru shady corners, instead of the offender's fault for not accepting that "no means no".

Talk about rape culture. Anyway, life goes on.

I just feel like I'm too much of the "man in a dress"-stereotype [well, I don't wear dresses, but yk] and thus leading to people seeing trans people, trans women in particular, in a worse light. I'm trying my best, but it will just never be enough to pass (maybe with multiple surgeries, but they're expensive) and just living as a man us due to intense dysphoria also not an option.

First let's do it after let's say a couple years on hrt.

Let's take a transmasc for example.

They were born as a member as member of the female sex, so then now let's define a member of the female sex.

Since we are trans people(mostly) Il skip the periods and uterus debate and directly say "A member of the female sex is someone having more of the traits and or charecteristics culturally and/or socially attributed to a member of the female sex"

Let's simplifiy a bit:

"A member of the female sex is someone who has more of the biologically-likely traits of the female sex than the male sex"

Or

"A member of the female sex is someone who has more traits of that of the female sex than male" sounds good?

So let's think about this, who has more traits of the male sex/less traits of the female sex, a transmasc who had his breasts removed, is a few years on hrt, is built, has a beard, etc etc OR a female crossdresser

The transmasc obviously, so from this and some other examples we can tell that trans people who are on hrt and had some surgeries(not really too necessary but added it) are their preferred sex

Now what about pre-hrt, this relies on psychology and philosophy but tell me:

What do you attribute to a person's greatness and/or humanity, their mind or body

Who's more human, a human mind in a chickens body, or a chicken in a human body.

It's the first one obviously, so the mind matters more.

Many a studies have shown that transmasc's brain are identical to a cismans, same for transfems,

So even pre-transition or anything you are still your preferred sex at least in mind

Helllloooo, so this has been my own personal experience but id like to see if others have had it as well as it happened multiples times with multiple different people.

So i have occasions been pressured by other trans women for sex. Mainly at gay bars. I try to make an effort to be friendly and if someone wants to chat with me I entertain the conversation most times. However; it seems like every time i try to be nice I am inevitably asked to hookup with zero indication the conversation was going that way.

Most recently I was chatting with an older trans woman who asked for my number and I politely declined and said that it has gone poorly in the past. I got a bit uncomfortable and went to a different area in the bar. Later that night she approached me AGAIN and said "why are you flirting if your not trying to hookup" when I absolutely never flirted with this person or did anything to give an indication I was interested, infact I thoroughly turned them down last time. I just had to be mean and say "not interested sorry no thanks" multiple times until they left.

Is it because i put alot of effort into my appearance when i go out? Like does that give off im available signs? I know i can be attractive to the right person but like Jesus christ this has happened several times now from older trans women.

EDIT: I did not edit the post body, its still the same. Holy crap some people in the comments don't understand the concept of no means no and thats exactly the issue I had at the bar.

Because I pass.

Every time I see a post for this sub it's either, "wow, people who don't pass are disgusting!", or it's "wow, it's impossible for anyone to pass!". It's almost like these are the only posts that come from this subreddit. Which would very easily make a vulnerable trans person come to the conclusion that they will never pass and will always seen as disgusting (even by other people who are claiming they are supposedly trans).

I always knew it was a huge mistake for this sub to allow cis people, and now it's finally reaping the consequences. Not only are there cis people here, i would wager that the vast majority of users here are transphobic cis people or bots.

Like, is this not a debate space? Are we not supposed to be asking provoking questions and hashing them out with eachother? Instead all i see is this slop every day about 'disgusting agps' and 'hrt never works'. Almost like it's a script that's put on loop or something.

This place has in its welcome post that it's a safe alternative to 4chan. This has been bullshit for quite a while. Here you'll see people implying that anyone who doesn't pass is automatically a sexual predator, that people who don't pass are simply lazy, and that people who don't pass aren't even trans. Very thought provoking discussion guys! I'm sure it drives a true debate and isn't just suicide bait for trans people who are at their lowest low. Even fucking 4tran is better than this. I'll go as far as to say that the average 4tran user is a fucking angel compared to whoever is making the average post on this subreddit.

I honestly really hope all these posts are coming from cis people and/or bots, it would be a relief. To find out that so many trans people are here just to punch down would be disgusting.

Do the mods care at all about this space? If a mod is reading this could you please explain the situation?

Hey everyone, I'm pretty new to all this. I'm 25, MtF, I recently accepted that I was trans, only my partner knows so I'm mostly closeted, and I'm pre-HRT due to temporary financial reasons. I'm kind of a mess, I'm very overwhelmed with everything. I've tried writing other threads here but didn't know what I wanted out of it exactly. But after giving it some thought, I want some advice on coming to terms with my gender and seeing myself as a woman.

I'm doing what I can to affirm my identity in these early stages - I'm wearing women's underwear, shaving body hair, shopping for cute outfits, voice training, exploring with my partner, etc. But I'm still really struggling not seeing myself as a man. I know I may feel better when I'm fully out of the closet, but I'm not ready for that yet. It's hard to see myself differently when the world still perceives me as a man. My inner monologue is still that of a man, I still act like a man, and everyone still treats me like one. It really confuses me and gives me uncertainty about being trans (even though I know I am).

Another thing related to all of this that is also holding me back is me feeling very worried that I will not like how I look and will not pass. I like how I look when I present fem, but some of my features scream "I'M A MAN". I'm over 6 feet tall, I have massive hands, large feet, broad shoulders, and vascular arms. I'll struggle to find women's shoes that fit, and it makes me feel like a fraud. Having all those features be abnormal for women makes me feel shitty. I'm more worried that I will hate how I look because of those features than them causing me to not be able to pass, but not passing is also scary AF to me. Doesn't help that I am perceived as an "attractive" "man", the reactionary part of my brain keeps telling me I'm throwing that away

Do you have any advice on how I can feel more like my true identity in this early period? Things I can do to feel like a woman? And any thoughts/advice on dealing with these insecurities? I just want to feel like myself and feel confident for this journey ahead, and not feel any regret later on. Thanks in advance to anyone who replies :)

I really don't understand why it seems so many people can't put two and two together when it comes to that.

Crippling dysphoria is crippling because it stops you from fully functioning, no amount of "You're validxxxxxz" is going to help some people with crippling dysphoria.

It's even worse when you bring neurodivergency into the mix, because it then sounds straight up ableist. "You're autistic and can't handle the meltdowns brought by dysphoria? You're in the wrong for not choosing how you respond to it!"