r/hatethissmug • u/ThatDrako • Jul 08 '26
Roleplay/In Character I HATE when people assume I “misunderstood” their wish…
Buddy…no…I knew exactly what you meant.
I’m not a fucking idiot and it pisses me off you assume I am.
I do things DELIBERATELY.
I WANT you to regret your wish, your wording of the wish, or ideally ruin your life altogether.
You should KNOW it by now.
YOU are the idiot.
YOU are the idiot for not getting it.
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u/Defaultassusername Jul 08 '26
Mf I wanted the book from Terraria!
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
You can wish for whatever dude.
You didn’t touch my lamp.
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u/baconbro_ Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
No in character tag leads me to believe this is a real genie
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
Sorry dude, didn’t notice the tag.
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u/Sillymillie_eel Jul 08 '26
Wait…s-so you’re not a real genie? B-b-b-b-but I wanted to make a wish. And I was willing to rub your gravy boat
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u/Eggwweretheefgg Jul 08 '26
How would you react to a multi page document on the exact wish I have, with specifications and execptions
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u/kojimbob Jul 08 '26
Oi who let this genie on the internet
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
Some priest dude told me only thing he wishes for is to let me see the beauty of humanity.
So I just conjured myself a phone with internet.
Gotta say not seeing beauty yet.But hey. At least he’s paying the tariff…
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u/Alternative-Cloud-66 Jul 08 '26
Come on man, that's not even in the spirit of the wish.
Beauty of humanity is not here. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
How else am I supposed to SEE any beauty, man.
I am trapped in a fucking luminary device, man.
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u/Alternative-Cloud-66 Jul 08 '26
You are the genie man, you are smart enough to fuck people over. Figure it out
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u/JohnsonJohnilyJohn Jul 08 '26
Some priest dude told me only thing he wishes for is to let me see the beauty of humanity.
Gotta say not seeing beauty yet.
Skill issue. Back in my day genies wouldn't fail with such a simple request
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u/TotaI_Crackhead Jul 08 '26
mf if you wanted to see the beauty of humanity you’d go onto r/hopeposting or look up the Starman in the Sky meme
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u/SamiTheAnxiousBean Jul 08 '26
Question
What if I wished for a collective, non inflamationery (aka, will not effect the economy and everything will continue as it currently is instead of inflating because of my worth existing) 2 trillion Euro which will maintain its relative global value to be directly and legally transfered into a secured and insured bank account of a bank that will never have a security fault or go out of business under my exact name and social security number completely tax free, that as long as I am alive I and only i can maintain access to at all times (transferred to a person of my choice instantly upon my death, the terms stated within this wish now apply to them when the ownership is transferred) that can be actively monitored at will in a society where people can still benifit from exchanging currency for goods and services while I myself will never be known as having that net worth so that no one can track me down to kill me and so my life can continue as normal?
Is that a clear enough wish?
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
I looooooove huge money wishes. Because I don’t even have to spin your words.
Do you understand you just put more than a twice the net-worth of richest man alive into a folder of a bank? Organizations usually reliable, but known to fuck people over when it benefits them?
Legal or not you have literally no connections or trust, they’ll just clep your whole account and call it a fraud. What will you do? Cry? Say it was conjured by an evil spirit from a lamp?
Better yet you are probably just getting straight up slimed.
What? You think anyone would be prosecuted for your death?
Noone from Boeing was jailed for slaughtering hundreds of people!10
u/SamiTheAnxiousBean Jul 08 '26
Organizations usually reliable, but known to fuck people over when it benefits them?
They take their elites insanely seriously, hell one or the first things I'm doing IS buying the bank itself
they’ll just clep your whole account and call it a fraud.
the wording of my wish prevents that "I and only i can maintain access to at all times"
Better yet you are probably just getting straight up slimed.
"while I myself will never be known as having that net worth so that no one can track me down to kill me and so my life can continue as normal"
while it's transfered in my name and ssn for the sake of you not pulling a "well someone else with your name got it and not you" due to your magic properties no one can access the information of who owns that account, due to that i remain anonymous to the public
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
Bank knows how much you have. Or would at very least catch a whiff the second they realized money is going outside, but not inside. In huge portions.
Because based on economy alone I assume you don’t exactly own an estate, right?But you are right. You are the only one to have access to your account.
As long as you are alive.
Boy, you are getting so slimed…8
u/SamiTheAnxiousBean Jul 08 '26
Because based on economy alone
which was invalidated within the wish itself, it would have no impact on outside economy, same reason the bank wouldn't notice
Boy, you are getting so slimed…
people would need to find out I owned that much money in the first place, which the clause within my wish forbids from happening
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
Friend. I’m not even trying to spin your wish in any way.
I’m just explaining you how bank system works.
Bank has access to your balance to protect it and check for possible scam.
And validity of digital currency is evaluated by transfer history. You buying house means lets say 300K minus on your account and 300K plus in bank account of reality agency.What you are effectively saying is that you want it to be impossible for your bank to check your account all while being able to confirm money is going out of it via history of the people you are buying from. And I assume those transfers sometimes won’t be small.
Even if you made it impossible for them to look, they’ll still be curious and will realize quickly there’s something weird.
Ergo you getting slimed.3
u/Shuihoppy Jul 08 '26
Genie, you're overthinking this
Give them the cash. Let the cash be the corrupting force in the lives, ruining all they have. They are weak, vulnerable to paranoia, self doubt, guilt, and greed. The money will strip them of the ones they love, the joy they have, and the goals that gave their life meaning
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u/SamiTheAnxiousBean Jul 08 '26
The thing is that I just want to have the ability to NEVER worry about bills and have enough ungodly cash to fund stuff my friends want to do and stuff I want to see changed while also never worrying about overspending
because sadly, it would solve way too many of our problems
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u/Sternenkaiser Jul 08 '26
Genie, seeing the wall of text:
Eh granted. Also you get hit by a random car and are in a vegetative state for the rest of your life.
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u/Mountain_Poet5977 Jul 08 '26
I love when genies misunderstand my wish and I get to slowly explain to them how I have gotten away with infinite wishes as their expression fills with dread
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u/Gay_Fluid Jul 08 '26
Mate, you're purposefully giving people the things they don't want, knowing that it isn't what they want, and you think they want you to be happy? I think you being angry here makes them happier
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u/External-Glove747 Jul 08 '26
This is why I’ll ask a genie if they’ll twist my words or something or are just a nice guy or maybe even wish to know. You are what’s wrong with the genie world, only sometimes though because some of them kinda deserve it…
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
We can lie, you know that?
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u/External-Glove747 Jul 08 '26
That’s why I’d wish to know, I don’t even know what to use my third wish for so it’s beneficial to not have to worry about it or have that power tempting me after the first two
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
“In that case I promise from within the deepest bottom of my conscience that I am trustworthy.”
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u/kisamasochist Jul 08 '26
I wish that there was a race of 12 foot tall insectoid women with 7-sphinctered cloacas, 3 foot long prehensile tongues between their mandables, and a desire to both eat my head and love me
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u/OkLength7120 Jul 08 '26
rubs lamp make Saiyan women from the hit anime series Dragon Ball Z into living beings that exist in our world, ensure that they are muscular alien hunanoids with simian tails, and spiky black hair, ensure that at a full moon they transform into giant gorilla like monkeys. Ensure they have Ki like in the anime, and wear the armor as well. Make sure they keep their fiesty temperament. And that they look identical to a Chinese person if they had spiky hair and monkey-like tails. That is my wish Djinn, oh great Genie. Make Saiya-jin women a reality in this universe, and not just a product of a series but real beings that would exist like a human and animal. A species that would have a taxom. A living breathing entity. And.. make them have many dark skinned Saiyan women as well! That is my wish genie! Can you fulfill it? Also what's your name?
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
I could do that would you have actually touched my lamp.
But let me ask you this.Isn’t the whole schtick with Saiyans, that they are genociding the whole species to sell their planets?
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Jul 08 '26
Its a joke lol
Also, i wonder how hard it was to search for this image on Google lol. Gotta weed out the ACTUAL golden showers...
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u/FateDaA Jul 08 '26
Nah you prolly just had to type "Shower with golden plates" and then look around
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u/ashmeetsworld we don’t need 10 posts a day hating on autism or lgbt pleasestop Jul 08 '26
I wish for everyone that has cancer to be cured
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
Sigh…How is nobody understanding the deal?
You BRUSH my lamp, you get wishes!
Simple as that!I’d just cure every one of cancer and 55000 more people would be diagnosed a day later. Boom. Wish wasted…
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u/IveDunGoofedUp Jul 08 '26
Another definition of "Cure" is to preserve the meat by packing it with salt.
So congratulations, now every cancer patient is stuck in a cube of salt.
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u/ashmeetsworld we don’t need 10 posts a day hating on autism or lgbt pleasestop Jul 08 '26
NOOOOOOOO
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u/Bored_Orangutan Certified Dumbass Jul 08 '26
I WISH TO BLOW UP! I mean get big
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u/ThatDrako Jul 08 '26
~You didn’t brush my laaaaamp.~
But hey…guess I’d just fill you with air and let you explode or something…
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u/Neat_Window_7384 When I say I got beef with everything they think its funny Jul 08 '26
where is your lamp?
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u/Roach-Freak Jul 08 '26
i didnt understand this at first, i was with sibilings and was like "wtf does this mean? gold..?? golden sh- oh."
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u/Able_Use_8766 You just lost the game Jul 08 '26
golden shower head?
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u/LemonJuice_XD Jul 08 '26
How many wishes do i get if i suck the spout and do a little swirl of the tongue near the entrance instead of just rubbing it?
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u/limino123 Jul 08 '26
Question how do you feel about wishes that help others ? What if I wished for world peace or something?
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u/BovineIntervention31 Jul 08 '26
You have to be very careful and precise. You must describe your wish in intricate detail so as to avoid a misunderstanding. Seriously, no detail is too much. Everything. Down to the most fine elements. Detailed… Send me a draft in my DMs and I’ll review for you.
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u/ChrisDaMan07 Jul 08 '26
I touched your lamp but I polished it really well with a microfiber cloth. Can I get 1 wish but like without you ruining it
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u/Water_Bottle_2309 Jul 08 '26
Dude, you don't have to call me out. I'm sorry for being upset that you didn't do what I wanted!
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u/Shinygoji09 I want a furry thragg to crush my head with his thighs💖 Jul 08 '26
hey atleast your better then nadakhan
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u/Chemical-Elk1137 Jul 08 '26
Bitch next time I'm wishing for you to be free and you better understand it well
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u/Thick_Research6599 Jul 08 '26
I wished for a shovel, and you gave me a gun. I don't think that's what I wanted you know
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u/CwispyWhiskey Jul 08 '26
What would it take to get a wish granted the way I envision it? If I had come across a genie I’d do my best to make them happy if they were to grant a wish of mine
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u/Comfortable-Moose-92 Jul 08 '26
Mate, when I wished that every child in the world had good parents, removing all children that don't fit that criteria was an atrocity. I will find a way to kill you.
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u/terrortara Jul 08 '26
Imagine someone just really wants to have a shower made of gold, so he asks the genie and suddenly he gets soaked with piss
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u/IshiiEnjoyer Jul 09 '26
Idk where this is coming from because that time I wish for goth mommies for both of us you granted me exactly what I meant
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u/SharkyCat12 Jul 09 '26
And that’s why I’ll word my wish right.
I wish for a shower of gold bars to fall on my head and not hurt, and I can exchange the gold bars for $1,629,936 USD
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u/Juanito______ Jul 11 '26
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU UNDERSTOOD MY WISH?? ALL WE WANTED WAS TO WIN THE MUSICAL, YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE US THAT! WE DANCED YOUR SONGS, FRIEND LIKE ME, ARABIAN NIGHTS, PRINCE ALI, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE US WIN
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u/Zerrrrroooo Jul 11 '26
ngl, selling that shower could provide someone with enough money to pay for the other golden shower and still have lots of money left
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u/Usual-Musician7189 Jul 08 '26
Never thought I'd see a genie having a crash out but here I am