Seriously, what gives with this? First time this profile has engaged with me and this is all he can say!

I’m 22M, bottom. Recently met a 24M on Grindr who calls himself "50/50 bi."

The Encounter: I’ve been sexually inactive for a long time, so I was impressionable. He’s very well-endowed (~8 inches). We met up, and I guided him inside me briefly. No sex, just a taste. It was intense for me because of the size and my dry spell.

The Red Flag: Later, I mentioned a female friend in passing. He immediately pivoted to asking if we could threesome with her. When I said no, he bluntly stated he "needs a female." It became clear: he’s capable of love/relationship with women, but with men, it’s purely physical. No kissing, no affection. Just sex.

The Current Situation: I invited him to meet again, hoping for more connection. His response? Curt. Three-word texts. No warmth. No curiosity about me. He’s acting arrogant, as if my interest is a given and he doesn’t need to earn it. The dynamic is clear: I’m only in his thoughts when he has an urge. Once the urge is gone, I’m forgotten.

My Question: Part of me thinks, "It’s just physical, plenty of people do this." But another part knows I’ll feel empty, and I’m mostly fixated on the physical aspect, not the person.

1. Is it worth investing time in someone who treats me as a utility rather than a person?
2. For those who’ve done casual-only arrangements: How do you tell when it’s truly fine vs. when you’re hurting yourself?
3. How do you handle attraction that is purely physical, without the person being interesting?
4. Anyone else dealt with a "bi" guy who uses men for sex but wants women for everything else? How did you process that?
5. After a long dry spell, how do you avoid making choices from "thirst" rather than actual interest?

I’m not looking to shame him he was honest about what he wants. I just want to know if I should pursue this purely physical dynamic or cut my losses.

I’ve been on the app for a month maybe a bit longer, but I still haven’t found anyone for fwb or any of the such.

Most profiles are blank or just showing their abs without any face pic and don’t even show one when they message me…

Part of the issue is it’s hard to trust and I’m just like super picky on who I wanna take a chance on…

I'm 24 and I identify as gay. I am on the spectrum and that likely has a huge impact on my emotional state as with rejection sensitivity. I know I'm supposed to feel okay with things but some nights are just harder than others. Unfortunately, venting on the vent reddit is against the rules and came here as a last result to get my head straight. Again I know I'm weird and creepy for feeling the way that I do.

Here goes.

I am a gay bottom and I enjoy quality time in bed. Things like cuddling, kissing, and open to more with sex is always my style. I'm 24 but I always been like a little bro or son type which I think is pretty different from a twink.

To clarify I do have 1 friend so had sex not that long ago but it's not his job nor does it my problem.

I have messaged hundreds and hundreds of guys and it's like no matter what I get rejected. I know it's expected but at the same time I feel like isn't there a limit.

I'm not lying I have contacted hundreds of people and it's always the same. I guess it hurts because you see other people and it's like well I got fucked by this super hot guy or I had a threesome. You know the hype and me I just keep on trying and it's nothing. I feel ugly and undesirable and people are gonna tell me it's me because I act unattractive when in reality they don't know how I act. I just want a chance and I feel people will like me. I have hooked up with guys I'm not attracted to because of the lack of interest from other guys.

I am not very picky but I do understand people have types unfortunately I don't fit much in any category..

I'm not fem or masculine, I'm not skinny or muscular.... Sorry I have hair and I can't be completely smooth. Sorry I'm not a hairy dad or bear type. It's like no matter what I just can't fit in.

Out of hundreds of people I messaged this is what 99.98% of messages are going to be like.

1. Users who ignore me entirely

2. Sugar daddies and OF

3. Scammers

4. People who block you after send a pic

5. People who block you for asking for a pic

6. People who you have good conversations with but then blocks you because you say you enjoy kissing or because you say anything really.

7. People who plans hook up and the last hours or minutes when at tthat scheduled time. Blocked

8. People who are hours away and it's like what the fuck you messaged me for

9. People who swear up and down that their different and ain't like this other flakers. Litteraly is like all these other guys.

10. Straight jerk off bros.

That sums up most of it.

I just want to be enjoyed and not feel like no one finds me sexually desirable. I know I'm not muscular but I would love to be seen as attractive and not ugly.

At the moment I feel really depressed about the whole situation and I know this post may seem unserious but how do you handle that so many people just reject you. I understand but again I'm always like isn't there a limit.

I been taking my HIV prevention medication. Yesterday I douched because of the promised and today I douched again. It hurts really bad trying to get ready for nothing to happen. HIV pills are for pre exposure but I'm thinking I'm taking these for freaking nothing.

The first messages he sent btw
Haven’t responded

Do they really think they are going to meet a gay guy that doesn't watch porn?

Edit: so I don't get anymore DMs asking what his X is, it's kingofdachill 😂

What does it mean?

I see this every once in a while.

The top of their profile picture is shown but the bottom 1/3 there's the tap symbol.

They're not in my recent taps list.

Can't find a good explanation. Thanks!

My account on grindr is existant to hookup with t girls in my area. Call me straight call me gay idgaf. But the amount of men who discover that (mind you it respectfully put in my bio) call me the f slur. Like one alr not offended but like you just begged to suck my dick like ummm.

I tested open grind. The current version works for me on Android. They brake down most of the paywalls, so that I can tap and chat with guys all over the world or hookup on the other side of the city not limited to the other side of the street like Grindr free version.

I found this reporting very enlightening and helpful. I had no idea Grindr had this record with user’s data. And also I had no idea their AI model was being trained with my pics, etc. I thought I’d share here for others on the same boat!

Got banned and appeal didn’t work they said it was a final decision. So other than getting a new phone and what can I do on iOS?

I’m not sure if it comes off offensive at all.

I put Masc4Masc on my profile and say “MASC and FIT only. ASS pics will get you blocked” in my bio but fems and trans still sent me their butt pics in the dms :(

I also got a bunch of warnings for saying “I’m not into fems and trans” in my bio and was forced to remove it :( What is offensive about this?

I don’t mean anything no disrespect at all. But i really want to understand why. I mean I’m not going to put them back in the bio again because it keeps getting ignored and they still flood my dms with their butt pics anyway. But i just want to know what’s offensive about it?

Not to mention when I’m on Right Now mode, saying the word “Trans” is strictly prohibited too 😭

I heard there was supposed to be a new map view feature on the app but for some reason it's not showing up even after updating. For context, I'm on android (Samsung galaxy s25) and was wondering if it was bugged or just a beta feature that hasn't came to everyone yet?

I've noticed that sometimes its very specific and says something like 132meters away or 748meters away, but a surprising amount of users are specifically 1km away, is distance rounded off above a certain distance? (presumably 1kilometre?)

Ever since few weeks ago explore is not showing close people anymore ?!

Instead of showing people who are ~1km away it shows people who are 100km+ far and mixes them with close ones!

Anyone else experiencing this? It's annoying af idk if it's a new limitation

I used to work at grindr.
I have a bunch of information regarding things you see on a daily basis and how it works as a company.
Ask your questions and i will try to answer them

Gotta love how Grindr got rid of the most annoying part of their app; the messages.

Surely removing the ability to communicate with others will be a more enjoyable experience overall, while giving the app memory space to add more AI surveillance.

I have my read receipts all the way up my conversations even above messages the other person sent. Is this a common bug? How can I fix it? I'm on ios.

People on this app are unserious and never follow through with plans, no matter how attractive they find you. Save yourself some time and sanity and delete the app. You can be chatting everyday for a week with someone and on the exact day you're about to meet you'll either be blocked or ghosted.

It's a fucking cesspool, I hate it but I keep coming back which makes me hate myself too. I met a wonderful person not on from this app so I should probably just be content with what I got and leave the hookup culture. But I just want to say some things:

Every single straight/bi couple I've had the displeasure of being messaged by has been insufferable, pushy and very judgmental people. Every single passing trans and femboys have been flakes and have standards higher than my ass, if you don't pass they don't bother. Some have been pretty mean to me cuz I'm a femboy too but I semi-pass and have an average sized cock. The rest are just fucking assholes, people with 0 respect for boundaries, and a whole lotta nobody fucking even if you are highly attractive. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people these days?

I left because I was tired. But now I really want to find a fwb but dont know where else to start. Anyone saying i shouldnt? Any alternatives?

Thanks in advance.