Hello! Ive been searching for terms/experiences relating to this for AWHILE and have found nothing, thought it'd be worth asking here

I have a fetish for mental illness, both my own and others. There is no underlying vulnerability, caregiving, nor sadism fetish, im just really turned on by delirium, psychosis, mental deterioration, depression, paranoia, dread, hopelessness, self exit, guilt, heartbreak, list goes on and on, I have no idea what the root is and I really want to learn more, but it doesn't seem to exist. Ive met people irl with it, so id imagine its common enough, yet NOBODY has talked about it online. Im convinced that im just missing a keyword or something

Anything related to the topic would be great to hear about, thanks!