How do you get off the treadmill. It’s funny I doubled my initial fire number but somehow feel worse off now due to adjusted family lifestyle, private school, etc.

assets
- 3m diversified liquid portfolio
- 2m retirement+hsa+529
- 1.5m in primary residence
- wife has some non-liquid ownership in a family thing. Thinking of it as like maybe $0 or maybe bonus breathing room like 30 years down the line.

35 yo. married. 3 young kids.
~750k TC single income
~300k expenses

Looking for encouragement, advice or roasting.

throwaway account for revealing personal info

Recently sold majority share of my company. 36 married with 2 kids and have ~25m after taxes sitting in a bank account. No debt, living in MCOL South Dakota, which has no state income tax.

The push to get the transaction complete took more time than I anticipated and didn't get everything aligned for life after sale. I have not yet decide if someone will invest our funds on our behalf or if going a simple boggleheads route for simplicity. Q4 is also our busy season and with me staying on, it will require a fair amount of my time.

What is a simple, yet safe method to earn a return on these funds for a short time until I can solidify our investment strategy for the future? maybe 3-6 months? CDs, treasuries, bonds?

42, thinking about selling my business at what might be peak valuations. What am I missing?

Quick background: I’m 42, married, 3 kids, and my wife doesn’t earn income.

Numbers:

• Business is worth somewhere between $7M and $12M depending on how long I stick around
• $1.5M in liquid investments
• $1.2M equity in our house (owe $370k at 2.75%, so not touching that)
• About $750k equity in my commercial building. The business is in it now. It’s a small building and would probably only rent for around $3k/month, so I don’t see a reason to keep it if I sell.
• Income is around $800k/yr
• We spend about $20k/month and are saving a lot

Why I’m thinking about selling: valuations in my industry have never been higher and I don’t know how long that lasts. We’re also pretty exposed to AI. It’s educated white-collar work that could get automated. Short term I think AI actually helps us, because we’ll need fewer support staff and EBITDA goes up. But the next 10 years honestly scare me.

The other part is my heart isn’t really in it anymore. What I loved was the growth and waking up every day having to fight to survive. Then it got easy, and I’m just not wired to coast and be happy with it.

So I’m leaning toward drawing a hard line at $10M. I think I can get there if I stay on 3 years with a salary. Add in selling the building and I’d end up (post tax/commercial building sale) with about $8.5M invested plus around $700k in my 401k.

What am I not thinking about? I know every extra year I work and then sell at this multiple adds about $400k to the pile. But if valuations drop, it’ll be too late, and I’ll be in my 50s running a lifestyle business fighting off AI and new competition.

*I used claude to reword my drivel and I'm happy to verify for the mods if needed.

Throwaway account…

Not sure where to start, but I just finished the final item of DD on a massive development project. The result is that I’ll be entitled to an $86M payday. One transaction and the second for our company. Happy to verify with mods (if required).

I’ve been working on this project for close to a year, putting everything at risk, from a financial standpoint.

I come from a blue color family. I’m in my early forties and have no idea what to do. I’ve asked chat a million questions, but it’s only so good. I obviously have an attorney, but estate planning, taxation, etc are all out of his wheelhouse.

So, what do I do now? Payday is in 6 weeks. I’m starting over from scratch - no current investments, trusts, etc. any advice is appreciated.

My partner and I have $30m+ after working and investing for many years. Both of us stopped working 2 years ago and live off investment income — we spend roughly $300k/year. The first year or two was an adjustment, but we're now completely comfortable staying under that expense cap.

We found a house we absolutely love for about $3m in a super HCOL area. That's ~10% of our portfolio, which is a boring 70% equities / 30% bonds.

A few important details:

• It won't be our main home for the next 5–10 years, it's in another country. But it's a rare find that we've both dreamed of owning for many years, and there's a real chance we move back and it becomes our primary residence.
• We're unsure about renting it out while we're not there (though honestly, if we owned it, we'd probably be there constantly).

The dilemma: we need to decide now between:

1. A fixed mortgage, 20 years at 3.5%/yr (it's in Europe)
2. An interest-only mortgage with 35% down

The catch is that getting a mortgage later would be expensive (notary fees are very highwhere this is), so it's cash vs. mortgage — no "wait and see" option.

We're currently debt-free and genuinely love it, especially since neither of us has a salary anymore. But financially, a 3.5% fixed rate seems like a no-brainer leverage play.

Our advisor suggested the interest-only mortgage and just rolling it indefinitely..

So, how have you navigated similar situations? Pay cash and sleep well, or take the cheap debt and keep the portfolio intact?

Has anyone found a RIA that doesn't need the 5M+ in assets and uses some pooled vehicles? I'm expecting significant STCG over the next few years that I'd like to offset. Would love a referral to any RIA/fund that accepts smaller amounts.

Hi all, long time reader, first time posting. Using a throwaway, as I don't want folks to know I'm seriously considering this. (Mods - if throw-aways aren't ok, let me know how I can verify, happy to.)

So I'm sure I'll leave out some important part of this, but I'll do my best.

I'm 42, Engineer + MBA, was in PE/finance for a decade before hanging my own shingle and founded a company. I'm about 10 years in, and somewhere between bored and burnt out (same shit / different day type feeling). I don't want to make a rash decision and throw away what I've built, but I also see an opportunity to get out while multipliers are high in my industry and reset into a different lower stress lifestyle.

My company is built in two parts, I wholly own all of it:

• Operating company: $10-12MM valuation, no debt. It clears ~$1.5MM of EBITDA annually.
• Real Estate: $20MM, but about $7MM in low-cost (2.5-3%) debt. I have the option to sell just the operating company and do a lease-back, would be about $1MM/year in rent, probably a bit more. I probably wouldn't pay off the debt until it burns off on it's own, as the interest is only about $200k/year, so I'd be netting a bit north of $800k. If I sold and reinvested, 5% of what I clear is about $650k, so I like the lease-back option.

Who is buying? In my industry, everyone. Folks want to buy each other, big groups are trying to expand (but everyone up for sale was bought during the cash-boon of the COVID era), and PE is really getting engaged in the industry. With a lack of sellers, multipliers have really ramped up recently and I could likely get a large number of bids right now.

Where am I now? Age 42, married (SO takes home about $250k/year, would want to leave her job as well). Two young kids, private school. I own my house, worth about $2MM, fully paid off. Love our house and neighborhood, but not necessarily the area/state anymore, so would probably pick up and move. I've really put everything in the company over the past decade, so my personal accounts are fairly meager - about $1MM in retirement accounts and about $500k in investments.

How much do I actually take home? I only pay myself $100k/year, and once I got my house paid off I stopped taking distributions. Wife makes about $250k, so we make about $350k total per year.

What are my expenses? Since our house/cars/student loans/etc are all paid off, our only real expense is about $30k/year in school tuition right now, plus the usual maintenance, POA fees/property taxes, vacations, etc.

So.... all that said, thinking about just selling it all and switching to "Dad mode" so I can really enjoy watching the kids grow up. But I also want to set a good example for them, and I'm not sure that doing this would show a great work ethic. Thoughts appreciated.

EDIT: Just one edit, as I'm seeing a similar question in the comments, which is about my expenses. I apologize for the vagueness and bad phrasing. I ABSOLUTELY have more expense that tuition, I only listed that because it's my only regularly "major" expense (e.g. no car, house, student loans). I'd estimate my annual spend to be around $100k beyond the tuition, but honestly I don't budget my personal side and I need to do some work there to better understand all of this. I'm sorry to disappoint all of you budgeting wizards.

Hi everyone. :)

I'm a 31-year-old woman who's well on her way to FIRE. I've saved and invested enough that I don't have to work a conventional full-time job to make ends meet. My plan is to work part-time in something fulfilling and devote the rest of my time to my other interests.

I've been thinking about dating recently, and I've realized that I'd really like to find a life partner who's in a similar position. Ideally, someone who's financially secure enough to work part-time or not at all, and who's deliberately left the rat race behind to pursue his passions. Not because he lacks ambition, but because he'd rather devote his time to things that genuinely enrich his life than keep chasing more money or status.

I'm interested in philosophy, psychology, spirituality, self-discovery and exploring questions about consciousness and the nature of reality. I'm also working on a speculative fiction book that I'm quite passionate about. I'd love to find someone who shares some of these interests and enjoys travelling and creative pursuits. My ideal life would involve a stable home base in California, the freedom to travel for extended periods and plenty of ordinary, unhurried time together too.

For me, the appeal of FIRE has always been having freedom over my time rather than accumulating wealth for its own sake. I want to spend my life doing things that I find meaningful rather than working primarily to make more money than I need. But to be able to have the time and money needed to devote to meaningful endeavours, you need to have significant financial freedom and that's why it's important to me to find a partner who does. 

Which brings me to my dilemma. Should I mention my own financial circumstances when dating online, especially since I intend to be upfront about wanting a partner who's also already largely financially free?

I recently made a post in an LA dating community about the kind of relationship and lifestyle I'm looking for. I mentioned that I had significant savings of my own, partly to make it clear that I wasn't looking for someone to provide for me.

Interestingly, some people still assumed I was looking for a sugar daddy or was a gold digger. Funnily, others thought that I was too independent and stated that that would actually make me less attractive to men in a similar position because they wouldn't want a masculine version of themselves. A few seemed to think I was bragging about being a member of the 1%. This made me wonder if self-disclosing in the manner I did was the right idea. 

I've noticed that quite a few people in FIRE communities are very private about their finances, which makes obvious sense. Many guys discreetly DMed me after seeing my post and stated that they don't disclose their financial status online to avoid scorn or envy. I was even told that I was brave to have even made such a post. 

Given this mixed bag of experiences, I was reflecting on how to proceed with online dating. I have never dated online before and was planning on creating a Hinge account in the next few months but I've already connected with a few people through Reddit and now mulling things over. 

I'm wondering how other people in a similar situation have navigated it. If you were seeking a partner with considerable financial freedom and mentioning that on your dating profile, would you also mention that you're substantially financially free yourself? Or would you keep that information private until you've gotten to know someone better? And how much would you disclose about your financial circumstances as you got to know someone you'd met online? There's always the fear of attracting scammers or people who are more interested in your money than in you.

I'm carefully thinking about how to approach this conundrum and I'd greatly appreciate advice from others, especially those who have dealt with something similar in their own lives. 

Thanks in advance, and hope you have a great day!

I'm 41.

I read and watch a lot of "How I retired at 40/50" sort of content. But it's usually some 41 year old that "retired" (i.e. quit) last month and is trying to get you to sign up for coaching.

Where are the real people that are 60+ now, but retired in their 40s?

How are things panning out for you? Did you have kids? What would you do differently or the same?

There’s a post on r/Fire on this topic, but the users there face challenges that the typical user here wouldn’t: their SWR might be lower than the post-tax income of a typical white-collar working partner, so the FIRE partner has to navigate pressure to inflate their lifestyle or match the other person’s; perception that they are cheap or unambitious; or significantly higher expenses after kids.

I’d imagine this stuff wouldn’t apply to FatFIRE (would a woman consider a guy cheap because he won’t spend a cent over $500k/yr??) but I could imagine other issues arising from the high spend. Mo money mo problems basically. Curious if folks here have experiences to share?

I am a mid-30s guy, SINK, and I’m dating while working now but expect to date while FATFire in the near future

Posting after feedback from r/Bogleheads

Couple in mid 40s, 2 kids in VHCOL area. Net worth is \~$20M (plus house mostly paid off, 529s for kids) and have very much followed the Bogle approach. Looking to FIRE in March (while my husband continues to work).

Three questions:

1. I'm in tech and dealing with massive capital gains exposure this and next tax year. Talked to some financial advisors that are recommending direct indexing to offset. I don't want to get stuck with a financial advisor for a short term benefit. But the benefit for these 2 years is probably \~$300k in taxes so maybe worth it?

2. The option of buying into hedge funds / PE funds. Seems like there is no real upside but downside protection. But I am wondering if the upside years more than offset the downside protection over the next 30 years?

3. Are there other options for people to help us optimize tax implications? For example, if/when to convert 401ks to Roth. If/when/how to gift to our children to avoid massive taxes for them in the future. The Financial advisor pitch is focused on this but I hope I have other options.

We have been interviewing financial advisors and we both really want to avoid them but also are tempted by some of the perceived benefits.

Edit to add. We have been working with my Schwab advisor (fiduciary) and that person recommended we work with a financial advisor.

Gentleman, ladies: yesterday was my last day. Founded a company, built it up, sold it, helped transition to new owners. Now: Out. My wife will be following suit in a few months.

I've very much benefited from this community over the years, and will continue to do so. The recent set of post-FIRE updates folks have been posting have been excellent to read and think about. So: thank you all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I have some breakfast to be making!

Cheers!

Has anyone here ever had to reconsider their lifestyle and slow down? I'm coming to the realization that I cannot sustain mine long term... I need to do something about it, but I'm struggling with the phycological aspect. I really can't imagine not being able to do/have everything that now I give for granted.

Should accept this and slow down or lock in and go back to work? Any tips or lessons from people that have been in a similar situation would be much appreciated.

I have the stocks and I’m thinking tomorrow against my stock( line of credit)
My advisor has offered me rate of 5.45% as of Oct 9,2026 to borrow against my stock. Is this competitive rate or other banks and advisors firms have better offers.
I am thro Merill Edge private advisor firm

My old college roommate has been a member for a decade, and it is always a treat/step back in time to go to the club.

I love the building, coat + tie requirement, and the no phone/camera rules.

The folks we chat with in the bar or library are always so interesting, esp from the Fat (and sometimes early retired) perspectives.

37 M, $22m net worth broken down roughly as:

$9.5m indexes
$9m property ($6m main residence in HCOL area, $1.8m holiday home, $800k parents house)
$2.5m equity in a private company (estimate an exit around $10m on this in 2028/29)
$1m cash.
Zero debt or mortgage.
UK based (all values converted to USD)

Wealth has come from a company exit to PE in 2021. Background as a kid was working class parents, Dad was a warehouse manager Mum was a cleaner.

I know I know, main residence is a lot. I still have sleepless nights about it but I love it and kids are growing up in a great area with big garden and friends around so I can deal with it. Always run the maths on how much I’m losing in investment gains by having money tied up in that and it’s disgusting to dwell on but it is what it is rn.

Aside from the properties, we live relatively modestly, probably too modestly. No fancy cars, a few nice holidays etc but very rarely any extravagant spending.

My question is - am I being tooo cautious. Example - wanted to take 4 friends on a guys trip to WC final this summer. All in cost was like, $80k, 5 mega seats, hotels and a few nights in NYC.

I spent DAYS deliberating if this was a good use of money. The $ amount is obviously a lot relative to what I was exposed to as kid, but in relation to my portfolio it’s negligible and I keep struggling to bridge that gap.

One thing I try to do is compare it to a ‘normal’ person (for want of a better phrase apologies don’t mean to offend). For example, $80k is 0.36% of my roughly $22m NW. If we assume a ‘normal’ guy has $100k in savings, the equivalent decision for that guy is 100k x .36% which is $360.

I’m pretty sure most people would take their 4 best mates to the WC final for $360! But I can’t make it make sense?! (I’m not tight though, I’ve gifted sums to all close family already).

I basically want to hear how other people do it, how they would do it if they were in my position, thoughts and criticisms welcome. I want to learn to spend better but without being a dick, and obviously I always worry about losing it all 😅

Obviously referrals are best option, but I'm coming up blank.

Staffing agency? One of the big companies (1800maids)? Craigslist/Facebook?

What is your process for hiring? Background check, bonded/insured, something else?

Trying to not be paranoid, but I feel it would be negligent to ignore risk to not only personal property but also more niche fat things like privileged information, knowing our schedules, etc.

Appreciate any tips/tricks/hints.

Pre-retirement planning. The goal is to preserve wealth and maximize conversion before 70, then continue but at a reduced rate between 70-75 before RMD kicks in. Currently $5-6M in brokerage and most in equity. $2-3M in 401k and about 80% in equity. Current job pays ~$300k. Annual spend 180k will reduce to $150k in a year and further down to $120K in 2 years. ~$1M house paid off.

Questions: Should I

1. Retire and sell holdings in brokerage to pay the conversion taxes
2. Continue working and pay marginal tax rates 35% in conversion
3. While working, do I contribute to Roth 401k at 35-37% marginal rate or continue the current all tax-deferred contributions and worry about it later?

Appreciate your advice in advance.

Hey, 27 yo, already “FIREd” even though I still “work” as a trader and investing in real estate.

I’m thinking about retiring my parents.

Didn’t see many threads about the matter and what’s the best way to go about it, would love for some insights.

My thoughts are either giving them an amount of money tied to SP or a cash flow generating asset with 4% withdrawal, or give them a monthly budget / my CC.

Would love insights and best practices, thanks

Some quick stats for context, I'm 39M, $1.5M liquid assets (mainly brokerage), VHCOL city, $600-$900k annual income, stressful job. I own a paid-off condo (~$2M). Current spend is $110,000 annually, everything else goes into 401k and then brokerage.

I have explored FIRE before, and viewed it as something I might do in my 50s. My original plan was to let the $1.5M coast for another 15-20 years and keep adding whenever possible, at which point I'd be near FatFIRE territory.

Earlier this year my mom (78) asked if I would be willing to serve as the trustee for her estate. When we sat down to go over financials, it turns out that she has almost $30M in assets (roughly 50/50 stock and securities). I have one sibling, and the terms of her will would split everything equally. There were zero signs she had this kind of money. We had a very modest lifestyle when I was a kid, and she still drives a Honda, lives in a regular house, takes a vacation once a year, and flies economy.

I'm trying to figure out what to do now. For the moment, I'm acting like the money doesn't exist. However, I feel like this changes long-term planning pretty significantly. It barely matters how much I save or invest. Even after taxes, at some point in the next 15-20 years I'll receive $12M+ at a step-up cost basis. That's more than I'd ever need.

What would you do in this situation? Would you stop saving/investing altogether? Retire earlier? Change jobs? Stay the course and pretend nothing changed?

I am on track to retire before I turn 40. Currently 35 and could be ready as soon as a year from now, but more realistically in a few years.

I’m currently setting my accumulated assets goal based on my itemized expected spending as a 3% withdrawal rate, considering I may be too young to use the 4% rule. Also planning to maintain at least 3 years worth of bare minimum expenses in a reliable source (HYSA, laddered CDs, munis, etc.)

Itemized spending:
- $200k baseline (currently spending $160k, adding some margin for inflation and changes in the coming years)
- $120k incremental carrying cost (maximum) for a new $3.5M house we’re building (taxes, insurance, HOA, maintenance, utilities, etc., assuming house paid in cash)
- $30k healthcare no longer covered by employer
- $50k incremental costs for kids (currently 2 kids at ages 1 and 3, and will have a 3rd soon)
- $100k discretionary spending (travel, charity, recreation, etc.)
- $120k capital gains

This would suggest a target of ~$20M to support all of the spending. However, I know some of that spending will not happen immediately, and it’s all quite conservative, so perhaps I’d take the leap earlier.

Anyone else break down their retirement goal in this manner? Any flaws you see in the plan?

For those who have Fatfired, or are going to, and have kids: (1) do you set up a Trust Fund, (2) let your kids know how much inheritance they potentially might have? (3) can you share your investment instructions in your Trust?

Also, if there’s any other sub thread you know wrt Trusts, please kindly point me there. I am unable to locate and would like to explore more.

Edit: I’m non US citizen. I am 45yo, kids are teenagers. I was thinking of setting up a Standby trust with $10m, fully 80% VRWA, 20% bonds. Finding a sweet spot amount and payout that supports their life goals and yet not feeling unmotivated to work. Comments and suggestions please.

My mom is retired and is seeking to leave our financial planner managing around ~$8M that was previously hired by my dad. She doesn't understand what the portfolio is invested in, or the mandate of the fund at all as she was previously uninvolved.

I went through the portfolio myself, and it seems to be an amalgamation of roughly 400 us/international securities that doesn't clearly follow an index. Think a more concentrated VT that has underperformed for ~5-6 years. The advisor charges around 1-1.5% AUM annually depending on the account, so it is clear to me that we should have left a long time ago.

I'm curious if anyone has any advice on a fee-only fiduciary, preferably on an hourly rate, that I might be able to speak with to look over the portfolio and assess the tax burden of leaving and moving the portfolio into a VTI/VXUS/BND mix as some other posters have suggested. I want to understand the burden of rotating the portfolio now, as we will be realizing a large amount of capital gains this year and next, but the returns are quite poor and I don't want to let the "tail wag the dog".

Thank you in advance for the advice, and it would be helpful to hear from others who have made this switch as well.

I'm a software engineer at a big tech. 10 years in. I just came back from a vocation and I'm seriously considering resigning.

Numbers:

Net worth ~$10M: $2.5M house (no mortgage) + ~$7M in stocks and cash + 1M 401k

My husband works at the big tech with a high salary that fully covers our living expenses. 1 young kid.

Annual spending: 120k mostly kid tuition and travel (we are super lucky that our parents insist to paying for our grocery + dining + most of shopping, and they may continue supporting us as they are much wealthier than us and want to help us as much as they can).

Why I want to leave: I don't enjoy the work anymore, especially since AI changed it, and it gives me little sense of accomplishment + toxic management. I'd like to spend my time managing our family's investments and learning to invest with 7% of our 7m which is around 500k. To clarify, I don't day trade. It's mostly value investing and position trades held for a few months. More like an "active investing" instead of "trading."

Major goal:

1. rebalancing $7m portfolio, which is concentrated in tech (3m in big tech + 1m qqq/voo, 1m Berkshire, 1m SGOV, 200k Gold, 500k individual stocks and 300k cash) to prepare for a possible AI correction.

2. Learning investing with the 500k to understand how money really works (rates, liquidity, how Wall St makes money).

   This is just something I enjoy learning, not a hedge to the 7M.

For those who quit while a spouse kept working, any regrets?

Edit: Thanks to those who gave thoughtful advice. Not sure why so many replies were hostile, but I got what I needed.