They played the video today. I’ve never felt such an awkward silence before. Nobody said a word, everyone just looked at each other. I feel like this was the moment some realized that this is so embarrassing.

Looking at their reactions just made me feel sorry for many. Realizing how many lost loved ones to a non existent rule just because of this org.

A very thoughtful friend surprised me with this beautiful cake today, made by an incredibly talented local artist :,) 10 years of freedom feels good. Of course it coincides with 10 years being shunned however I can honestly say that I have more to celebrate at this point than feel sorry for. I love my worldly life. Cheers to free will!

How many cult-free years have you celebrated so far?

PIMI elder husband knows I am PIMO yet he is still in denial. I've never pictured life without him before. I politely turned down a volunteer assignment at the convention and he gave me the silent treatment. My innocent touches on his shoulder result in him shrugging me off. No small kisses, no hand holding. Me saying "no thanks" to ANYthing WT related results in stonewalling and withdrawing affection.

It's like he doesn't know how to be a human outside of JW... I'm sure you all know what I mean. The ORG is your life... major decisions, vacations, career choices, etc... all connect to the org. He is a "accept all assignments", "never miss a meeting" type of JW. I never noticed the strictness until I occasionally wanted to miss a meeting(this is even while PIMI). I had to be as sick as Job. Mental health concerns are "nonsense" to him. Growing up JW, the household was not that strict at all. I did "make the truth my own" because I was not forced by my parents. I was allowed to go inactive for as long as I wanted, was not forced into baptism, etc. I was naive.

But living with my spouse? A different story.

I have maintained my personality true this traumatic experience of deconstructing. However, yes, it is true... I have changed. I do not see the ORG as the all knowing entity I did before. I see the God of the Bible as uncaring though I do believe there is some higher power. I have never attempted to convince him to leave. I would never do that. That is personal. I do, explain to a degree, why I no longer want to attend meetings and why being PIMO was necessary for me and the fear I have in leaving though I know I will have to make that decision soon. Then comes the emotional blackmail and guilt tripping about how I'm ruining his life, etc. Yet, he refuses to allow me to go inactive. It becomes a shouting match or an emotional tug of war to even miss 2 meetings.

If I don't want to attend a meeting... or he thinks I'll be late he interrogates me like a micromanaging boss. A dictator in our home. He thinks he is helping me but such cold, emotionally dismissive behavior pushes me away from the ORG, God and even the idea of marriage with him.

I am "rewarded" with conversation, a few jokes, or a one minute hand holding session when I fall in line.

He equates a "no" to WT as direct disrespect to him as a husband.

Hey everyone,

I’m currently serving as an elder, but I’ve been PIMO for a while now. My wife is very PIMI. Last night, we ended up having an unexpected, unplanned conversation. In the past, we had occasionally touched on small things—I'd bring up certain facts or things about the Governing Body that I didn’t agree with—but it always just stayed as a brief chat, and life moved on.

Last night was different. We ended up talking late into the night.

It started because I was sitting down, preparing for a part I have on the meeting tonight, and she was sitting right next to me. Out of nowhere, it crossed my mind to mention the recent material we studied about Moses. I pointed out that even in the publication itself, during the Congregation Bible Study, they admitted there’s practically no evidence that the Exodus happened—no records of Israelites living in Egypt, and no records of Hebrew slaves.

That opened the door. We started discussing how that’s not the only missing evidence: the sheer number of people the Bible claims left Egypt is completely unrealistic; the whole Egyptian army supposedly drowned in the Red Sea, yet to this day not a single artifact, weapon, or piece of evidence has ever been found there; and during the supposed 40 years of wandering through the desert, there is zero archaeological trace left behind.

She was resistant at first, but I kept calmly laying out more arguments and facts. From there, we jumped to the Flood and all the physical and scientific evidence showing that a global deluge simply couldn't have happened. I basically switched into presentation mode—I even grabbed some paper to make sketches and diagrams for her, since visual things help her grasp concepts better.

When I explained to her that several ancient civilizations were already alive, thriving, and keeping records during the exact biblical timeline of the Flood, and that none of their histories were interrupted—their world didn’t end, life just kept going—that was the turning point. I watched her just freeze. She went completely silent, thinking, and her eyes welled up with tears.

I didn’t know whether to keep going or stop right there, so I stayed quiet. I let her take the lead if she wanted to keep talking. She did, but not for long, because she started saying she was tired and sleepy, and I could tell she couldn't focus anymore. But the seed was definitely planted.

When we went to bed, she was very quiet and serious. I started worrying, not knowing if she was upset with me or just overwhelmed. Then she started telling me she was scared. She doesn't have an extensive vocabulary and struggles to put things into words sometimes, but she made it clear that she was terrified I would fall by the wayside, and that she didn't want to make it to Paradise without me. Hearing the genuine sadness in her voice broke my heart.

I didn't even have to push the conversation further because she herself said: "If those Bible stories from back then aren’t true... what does that mean? What happens if the rest of the stories aren’t true either?"

At that point, I felt I had pushed too far. I didn't want to bring up any more arguments or facts. I just held her in my arms, comforting her, and told her that I wasn't going to get lost, that I wasn't going anywhere. We all know how deeply ingrained the indoctrination is—the organization drills into everyone's heads that anyone who doesn't believe is an evil, heartless liar (especially with how they recently framed "apostates" in the latest broadcast).

I just wanted to reassure her. I made it clear that I'm right here with her, doubts or not. Even though I didn’t explicitly drop the bomb that I don't believe in any of it anymore, she could tell. Still, I emphasized that none of this changes our marriage, and that it wouldn't change my routine—that I was going to keep doing my best and carrying on inside the organization.

She still fell asleep worried, though. She was distressed by the thought that I’ll eventually leave once I can't fake it anymore. She even said something like, "Down the road, you're going to get discouraged or leave because your heart isn’t in this and you don't believe it." I simply told her not to worry. I didn't say "I'll never leave," but I told her: "I will stay with you, I'll be by your side, and I will keep loving you because that is my choice. Loving you and being with you is what I choose to do, not because a book tells me to, but because I want to." That seemed to soothe her a bit, she calmed down, and I let her rest.

This morning everything felt normal on the surface: she went out in service, I went to work, and nothing else has been said.

I just wanted to share this because I’m standing at a crossroads now. Do I gently keep bringing things up, or do I drop it completely and keep the status quo? I’ve been PIMO for a long time, but I’ve been comfortable and peaceful. I haven’t been actively trying to blow up my life or leave; I’m genuinely content with my day-to-day life.

To be honest, one of the things that scares me—and I don’t know if this is just the indoctrination speaking from my subconscious—is that part of me is afraid that if she wakes up, she might change toward me. On the other hand, now that she’s more aware that I don’t believe in these Bible stories, I’m also worried she might change toward me for that very reason: that she’ll keep believing and start viewing me as "bad association" or as someone who isn't good simply because I don't believe in God.

Anyway, that’s my story. I’d love to read your thoughts, advice, or similar experiences. Thanks for reading this wall of text!

We are well established adults with a family that decided to leave. All our siblings are out as well. My family and I recently hard faded away. Found out today that my dad said he is a failure, because none of his children stuck with “the truth” and he couldn’t even get his kids “salvation and everlasting life.”

We have a good marriage, great kids, good jobs, a home, and are decent human beings - both us and our siblings. He raised us to be kind, honest, true to ourselves, and compassionate to name a few. However, parents are “failures” due to us not staying JW’s - we are also in our 40’s. We could beat our wives, abuse our kids, and treat people terribly, and that would be fine IF we went to meetings…

Just no words for the reality of the situation.

I don’t really know whether this is a vent or humor. I’m PIMO. My dad is a witness and forces me to the meeting and has been trying to make me join the field ministry but I’ve been holding off until I go to college. Anyways, a lot of people in my congregation seem to be fond of trump. My dad was complaining about how he went into the field ministry with a group of brothers and sisters and a sister had said, “We are so lucky to have Trump as our president for the 250 year anniversary of the United States” and the other brother and sisters had agreed?

There was also another instance of a lady in the congregation saying, “All these illegal immigrant’s come to the United States unvaccinated and that’s why covid is coming back” this is really funny to me because Trump is like the exact opposite of everything that they supposedly are “against” but I guess when it’s time to be racist they can put everything down. 😭

I was born into the truth and raised in an extremely pious and controlling family. Every decision in my life was made by others. I had no will of my own. No ambition, goal, or purpose. an empty shell.

It’s been a long and exhausting struggle, and much sacrifices were made, including my relationship with most of my family. I lost so much of my life, but I am slowly picking myself up and, for the first time in my depressing and repressed life, look forward with purpose and determination.

My contact list was cleansed, and I’m slowly building my career.

No more worrying about my reputation
No more performing and putting on a fake smile
No more pretending to be deep, spiritual, and pretentious.
No more pressure to sacrifice endless time, money, and energy to do more more more for the org and climb the spiritual ladder.
No more fear of being judged for education, hobbies, entertainment, association, and every single aspect of my life.
No more anxiety about whether I pass gods lofty requirements.
No more dealing with the most abhorrent, obnoxious, manipulative, delusional, arrogant and narcissistic “spiritual” assholes who, as agents of god, view themselves above all others.

There are still some hurdles to overcome, such as my nonexistent social life outside of JW and my lack of personality from years of repression.

But I’m free, and it’s exhilarating.

POMOs, happy to join you guys.
PIMOs, you may be hesitating or waiting for a clean exit. But it’s not worth losing precious years of your life over!
There is no “clean exit”. It’s gonna be messy especially if family is involved. You just have say fuck it, accept the consequences, and do it.

Tw/ SEXUAL immorality

So I recently got told that I have to break up with my boyfriend if I want to remain in ‘the truth’. A sister told me and had a “deep talk” with me, read me lesson 41 and 42 from ELF. Looked me straight in my eyes and said I have to come back and share the good news. She told me I will be imitating Jesus if I stay single.

Ironically enough. These people all preach the beauty of marriage and say that it’s hard to live with someone who doesn’t share the same faith as you, yet 70% of these people are single. So what’s better? Marriage or being single huh??

Also so ironic how you can’t marry outside your faith cause it’s disrespectful to Jehovah but last time I checked most marriages are MESSY. SO MESSY. And look so… boring?

Also… they categorize b*stiality as bad as seggs before marriage. lol! Nothing is said about !ncest tho…

I can’t believe this. The manipulation level I realized when I got that talk just made me realize what did I even get into

Hey everyone. I’m 25, from Quebec, Canada, and I was raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I was baptized at 17, became a regular pioneer, attended Pioneer Service School, and genuinely believed I was serving Jehovah. I wasn’t someone who secretly hated the organization or spent years looking for a way out. For a long time, I believed it was the truth.

But behind the spiritual routine, I was struggling with severe depression, loneliness, and eventually burnout. And when I finally began questioning what I’d been taught, everything started to unravel.

This is my waking-up story.

Growing up as a Witness
I was diagnosed with severe depression at 13, something that followed me throughout my teenage years and into adulthood.
In July 2018, at 17, I got baptized. Looking back, I felt pressured by my parents, and there was also the expectation that baptism was simply what a young Witness was supposed to work toward.

I wanted to make my parents proud. I wanted to be accepted, and I genuinely wanted to do the right thing. But I was still a teenager figuring out who I was, making what the organization considered a lifelong commitment.

Becoming a regular pioneer
In 2020, during the pandemic, I became a regular pioneer.
And here’s something I want to emphasize: I actually loved pioneering at first.
I believed I was helping people and doing something meaningful. It gave me a sense of purpose during a period when I was trying to find direction in my life.

I also attended Pioneer Service School, which I genuinely enjoyed. I loved the discussions, the learning, and the people I met.
I had good experiences as a Witness, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise just because I no longer believe.
For a while, I also had a pretty active social life. I was invited to gatherings, included in plans, and felt like I belonged.
Unfortunately, that didn’t last.

When pioneering became exhausting
After the pandemic restrictions eased, I started working full-time while continuing to pioneer.
I’m a chef, so my job involves long hours on my feet, physically demanding shifts, and plenty of stress.
At the same time, I was trying to reach 50 hours of ministry every month, roughly 12 hours a week.
Sometimes I’d finish a long shift and go straight into metropolitan witnessing, standing beside a literature cart for another two and a half hours.
Then there were meetings, assignments, personal study, and everything else.
At first, I thought I could manage it. But eventually, I was running on fumes.
Something I’d once genuinely enjoyed had become another obligation I was struggling to fulfill.

I was seriously depressed
This is probably the most important part of my story.
I wasn’t just tired of being a Jehovah’s Witness. I was genuinely depressed.
I’d already been diagnosed with severe depression years earlier, but trying to maintain my religious responsibilities while working full-time made an existing struggle much harder.
I was constantly exhausted, unhappy, and lonely. No matter how much I accomplished, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough.
And because I still believed the organization had the truth, I kept looking for the problem in myself.
Was I not praying enough? Was I neglecting personal study? Was I not doing enough in service? Was my relationship with Jehovah weak?

Those questions followed me constantly.
I’d spend my day working in a kitchen, go out in service, attend meetings, and then feel guilty whenever I finally had time to myself.
Resting didn’t always feel like resting. Sometimes it just felt like time I should’ve spent doing something spiritual.
I also felt pressure to maintain the image of a spiritually strong young man.
People saw a regular pioneer who attended Pioneer Service School and participated in congregation activities. They didn’t necessarily see how difficult everyday life had become for me.
There were days when simply getting through my responsibilities felt overwhelming.
And what made it worse was that I genuinely wanted to believe I was doing the right thing.
I wasn’t secretly planning to leave. I wasn’t questioning the organization’s teachings yet.
I thought that if I prayed more, studied harder, and trusted Jehovah, things might eventually get better.

But I was already giving everything I had.
I wasn’t losing my faith at that point. I was losing my ability to keep going.
Feeling excluded
My social life also changed over time.
I used to be invited to gatherings and included in plans. But gradually, invitations became less frequent, and eventually I got used to being left out.
It hurt, especially when the congregation was supposed to be my spiritual family.
I knew plenty of people. I could talk to them at meetings or in service, but I didn’t always feel that I had close friendships I could rely on.
I was surrounded by people and still felt incredibly lonely.
And when you’re already struggling with depression, that kind of isolation makes everything heavier.

Brother Humble
There was also an elder I’ll call Brother Humble (name has been changed), who was anything but humble. 😂
He once removed me from microphone duty because I had a goatee. When I asked him for a scriptural reason, he laughed and walked away.
Then the organization changed its direction on beards, and suddenly facial hair was acceptable. Go figure.
His attitude toward appearances and authority was one of the things that eventually got me questioning.
He didn’t make me lose my faith, but he certainly helped me start asking questions.

October 22, 2025: stepping down
On October 22, 2025, I submitted my letter stepping down as a regular pioneer.
I explained that I needed to prioritize my mental and emotional health.
At that point, I still believed. I wasn’t leaving the organization or rejecting its teachings. I was simply exhausted after years of trying to balance everything.
After stepping down, I barely participated in field service. I started sleeping in, resting more, and having time for myself without constantly worrying about reaching a monthly service-hour goal.
It felt strange at first, but also incredibly relieving.
And having that space gave me time to think.

November 2025: the beginning of my waking up
Around November, a friend opened up to me about no longer believing.
We talked about our experiences in the congregation, including Brother Humble and some of the things we’d witnessed.
For years, I’d been taught that questioning the organization was dangerous. But here was someone I trusted expressing serious doubts.
So I started researching for myself.
I learned about the Watch Tower Society’s historical correspondence with Nazi Germany, including the 1933 letter addressed to Hitler, and its former NGO association with the United Nations.
I began questioning the blood transfusion policy, the treatment of disfellowshipped people, and the organization’s handling of child sexual abuse cases.
I also examined the historical evidence surrounding Jerusalem’s destruction in 607 BCE and the organization’s calculation of 1914.
That last subject particularly interested me because of how central 1914 is to the organization’s teachings.
The more I read, the harder it became to reconcile what I’d been taught with what I was finding.
And I wasn’t simply accepting everything I encountered online. I was comparing sources, examining arguments, and trying to understand the evidence.
My faith didn’t disappear overnight.
It gradually faded as I kept researching.
Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn’t honestly say I believed the organization had the truth anymore.
That realization hurt. I’d spent years preaching something I genuinely believed, only to find myself questioning its foundations.

My friends were waking up too
Something unexpected happened during this period: several of my friends were also waking up.
We hadn’t all experienced exactly the same things, but we were beginning to reach similar conclusions.
We compared experiences, discussed the organization’s teachings, and shared what we’d found through research.
For the first time, we could ask difficult questions without worrying that someone would report us to the elders.
We could disagree, laugh about our experiences, and talk openly.
It was comforting knowing I wasn’t going through everything alone.

May 2026: a talk about prayer
Here’s one of the more ironic moments of my waking up.
In May 2026, I gave a midweek meeting student talk titled “We Should Pray Often.”
The funny part?
I’d already stopped praying.
I even used an illustration comparing prayer to keeping in touch with someone over the phone.
Everyone heard a normal student talk about maintaining communication with Jehovah.
Meanwhile, the person giving it was privately losing his faith.
Looking back, it’s both funny and sad how easily I could continue playing the role of a believing Witness when the conviction was already disappearing.
The 2026 convention: Zach’s videos
By the time the 2026 Eternal Happiness convention came around, I was already questioning the organization.
Watching the videos from that perspective was completely different.
One dramatization showed a father who worked incredibly hard to provide for his family and bought cruise tickets, only for his daughter to reject the gesture because he’d been absent from family worship.
As someone who’d spent years working full-time while pioneering, I found that frustrating. I understood the importance of family time, but I also knew what it felt like to work yourself to exhaustion and still be made to feel spiritually inadequate.
But the videos that affected me the most were Zach’s.
Watching him genuinely made me sad.
Here was a young man with his own interests, feelings, and problems. Yet it seemed like there was always someone ready to correct him or remind him how a good Witness should behave.
His entertainment choices were questioned. His doubts were discouraged. When information critical of the organization came up, the message seemed to be that he should dismiss it rather than examine it.
And as the videos progressed, he seemed increasingly unhappy.
What bothered me was how familiar that felt.
I’d spent years trying to be the spiritually strong young man everyone expected me to be, even while struggling with severe depression.
I recognized that pressure to keep going, to question your own feelings, and to assume that if you’re unhappy, maybe you just aren’t doing enough for Jehovah.
The saddest part was that these videos were being shown at a convention about eternal happiness.
Maybe other people found them encouraging.
I didn’t.
I saw someone struggling under expectations that reminded me of my own life.
And I couldn’t help thinking about how many young Witnesses might be watching those videos while quietly going through something similar.

For a long time, I felt like Zach.
June 2026: I stopped attending
Around June, I stopped attending meetings and participating in field service.
There wasn’t a dramatic announcement. I simply stopped going.
In September, I deleted the NW Publisher app.
It might sound insignificant, but after years of checking congregation schedules and assignments, deleting that app felt surprisingly satisfying.
As the months passed, I noticed that my mental health was improving.
Leaving didn’t cure my depression or make every problem disappear. I still have difficult days.
But without the constant pressure of meetings, service hours, and congregation expectations, I finally had more room to breathe.

Telling my parents
This has probably been the hardest part.
My parents are still devout Jehovah’s Witnesses, and eventually I told them I no longer believed.
Their reaction was painful.
I’ve been called masuwail, a Tagalog word meaning rebellious or disobedient. I’ve been accused of not loving my family and ruining it, and I’ve been threatened with being kicked out of the house.
What hurt most wasn’t simply the threat of losing my home.
It was the feeling that my relationship with my parents could be damaged because I no longer shared their religious beliefs.
I’m still their son. I still love them.
I just don’t believe the same things anymore.
I remember opening up to my friends about what was happening and crying.
They listened, supported me, and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

Apparently, my “worldly friends” are a problem
Recently, a JW friend reached out because he was concerned about me spiritually.
He’d seen that I was spending time with friends and asked whether I felt like I was spending more time with my “worldly friends.”
That wording stuck with me.
Not simply my friends. My worldly friends.
The irony was that I’d spent years feeling increasingly excluded while I was still active in the congregation.
Now I was finally being included in things again.
Birthdays, dinners, parties, and ordinary hangouts.
And apparently that was something to worry about.
But there’s one friend I especially want to mention. I’ll call him Alex (name has been changed).
He’s been there for me through some of my darkest moments, never judging me for what I believed or didn’t believe. Even when things got difficult, our friendship never changed.
I may have lost my faith, but I never lost a brother in him.
And for that, I’ll always be grateful.
I appreciated the concern from my JW friend, but I couldn’t help noticing the difference between how he viewed my life and how I actually felt.
I wasn’t miserable because I was spending time with non-Witnesses.
I was happy because I had people who genuinely wanted me around.

Where I am today
I’m 25, and I’m no longer a practicing Jehovah’s Witness.
I don’t attend meetings, participate in field service, or believe the organization has the truth.

My relationship with my parents is complicated, and I’m still dealing with the emotional consequences of leaving.

But I’m happier than I was during those final years as a Witness.
I work as a chef, spend time with friends, enjoy my hobbies, and make decisions without constantly worrying about whether someone in the congregation will disapprove.

I don’t regret every moment I spent as a Witness. I genuinely enjoyed pioneering at first, loved Pioneer Service School, and met people I cared about.
Those good memories are real.
But so are the years I spent depressed, exhausted, lonely, and feeling like I could never do enough.

I spent so much time trying to be a good Witness, a good pioneer, and a son my parents could be proud of that I sometimes forgot to take care of myself.
Looking back, I wish I’d understood sooner that needing rest didn’t make me spiritually weak.
And that questioning what I believed didn’t make me a bad person.

I didn’t leave because I wanted to do bad things. I left because I could no longer believe what I was being taught.

After years of trying to meet everyone’s expectations, I’m finally beginning to feel comfortable being myself.
That’s my waking-up story.
Thanks for reading.

Right, I'm in the process of building a cd collection.

Vinted came up with a bundle of Groban discs in my feed and I was struck by the AWAKE title being the same style and fontplasyered across one of his albums.

Then out of piqued curiosity, I looked at the second image in the listing of the reverse sides of the albums and see the Watchtower building on the back of ANOTHER disc.

What the actual heck?!!!!

What's his beef?

This happened a year ago. One brother tried to make me feel bad for being muscular. I am quite big (6'3, 98-100kgs) and I work out often. As expected, some of my shirts are tight around the arm, shoulder and chest area.

One time after a meeting, a brother commented on my arms and asked me to consider getting a bigger shirt because I might cause sisters to stumble. I was shocked, genuinely didn't know what to say. Why must I hide the work that I put in? What about the brothers/sisters that have tight clothing because they are overweight? Won't that cause people to stumble? Anything can be a problem for jws

However, all they think about is sex, sex, sex and more sex. Colossian 3: 5 admonishes Christians to deaden their body members on earth as respect to uncontrolled sexual passion. Sadly, this advice is for the sheep and not the self acclaimed faithful and discreet slave (safads)

I heard Stephen Lett already remarried that young sister. Please why is he re-marrying if not for sex. Definitely not about companionship.

Paul was single or was he not? Jesus too. Why aren't all the safads single? I doubt the GB even believe in the heavenly hope. They sure are not deadening that body part but are busy putting it to good use while also storing up treasures for themselves here on earth. The GB should be very busy with spiritual things and thinking about how to lead the sheep to salvation. Rather, they're thinking about who will warm their beds at night. What happens to that sister when Lett supposedly goes to heaven as he is expected to? I suppose she is going to roam about in paradise as "the ex wife of your heavenly king"

I have 2nd hand embarrassment for Lett and for the desperate, power seeking sister who said yes to a very old man. I am just sick of it all.

When the gb spews their religious drivel, and instills fear, obligation and guilt onto their "sheep", does it come back on the leaders at some point? It is a type of mind control, after all. And they certainly do try to control followers minds, so wouldn't that affect them, too. A "cult leader" seems to take the power, usurp the power, disempower the followers, so that the followers become unable to think for themselves. That stolen power is taken up by the cult leader and their egos go wild. I figure that's what happened to many religious leaders, JW leaders are not immune to the power of an ego run amok. For example, what makes adult children shun their parent who leaves the cult? Haven't the leaders over-written or hijacked the minds, conscience, intuition, common sense, etc. of said children? Maybe in my case I enabled it and even put my indoctrination on the kids, as reinforcement! Ugh!

I was married to an unbeliever when I had my two children. My husband at the time was passive and didn't interfere when I went back to the cult in 1977 at age 23. My son was two and daughter was one at that time. I certainly did contribute to the indoctrination of my children, and proud of it! But I also was careful to teach them that their dad was not "bad" for not being a JW. I tried to be balanced in my teachings, to love and respect their dad. But I suspect that the training my children received was still slanted, in a way, since they both took to the JWisms. My son got baptized when he was 16, my daughter was 15. It was their idea, I wasn't bringing up the subject. But, I suppose the talks and meetings held out the carrot on a stick for the children. Maybe those baptism talks registered more for them than for me. The years flew by so fast.

Bottom line: I'm paying a high price now for my freedom by not having them in my life, because when I left the cult for good in 2000, they shunned me. sigh💔💔

Never-the-less, I'm likely better off living my own life, without interference, judgment, and criticism from adult PIMI children. At least I am free to be myself.

Just venting because I realized I’ve never actually said any of this out loud. I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to share in this sub, but I feel like I need to get it off my chest.
I grew up around the “congregation,” as I guess you would call it. My dad married a woman who was part of it, and from that point on, my life changed. So did my dad. I was just a kid, but I swear, being around that environment always made me deeply uncomfortable. If any of you have seen Severance, that’s genuinely what it felt like to me lol.
My dad and stepmom always seemed to have a problem with me because I didn’t fit into the person they wanted me to be. It was such a strange experience growing up with. I also noticed the hypocrisy from a young age. Now that I’m older, my dad and stepmom have divorced, and my dad has become the complete opposite of what he continues to preach. He quite literally lives the kind of double life they condemn.
My sister was born into it, so it’s the only life she’s ever known. One of the hardest things for me has been watching my dad abandon me emotionally while seemingly caring so much more about her. I have so much resentment surrounding all of this that I honestly don’t even know how to put it into words. Sometimes I feel guilty about the way I feel toward her, too. For example, I struggle to take her aspirations of working in the medical field seriously when she can hold these…. beliefs. I know she’s been shaped by the environment she grew up in, and I know it isn’t entirely her fault, but that doesn’t make my feelings any less complicated.
To be honest, the people in that environment always creeped me out. There was something deeply unsettling to me about how invested they seemed to be in everyone else’s personal lives. And it makes me sad watching my sister grow up in a world where women seem to be taught to question themselves so deeply and feel so much insecurity about simply being who they are.
I don’t think I’ve ever really given myself the space to acknowledge how much this affected me, and I guess I’m finally trying to. I even remember meeting up with someone later in life that I grew up around during that time and I was told that even though they aren’t a “part of it” they still deeply “admire” the religion. You can imagine my face when I heard that.. Come to find out they never left and were doing a bunch of horrible things in secret so they wouldn’t be kicked out, typical! That place and anyone I knew connected to it literally gives me the most unexplainable full body ick. There’s obviously so much more I experienced buttt that’s about the gist and me trying to word it as nicely as possible lol. Thank you for reading if you got this far!

This wasn’t so obvious to me before, but I’ve come to realize that the Governing Body seems to have doubts about the “truths” they teach. Think about it: if the truth is supposed to get “brighter and brighter,” doesn’t that suggest they weren’t entirely confident that things were clear in the first place and had to revise their teachings?

But hold on a second… The followers are expected to believe it’s the truth without question, while the Governing Body gets to have doubts?

Hold on… Armageddon is “just around the corner,” yet they still seem more concerned with talking about stillbirths, warning people about apostates, or simply living a normal earthly life and getting married.

Seriously, Lett? Are you getting married? Even you don’t believe this lie, do you? You just want to live your own worldly life here on earth, don’t you?

But I think the other possibility is more reasonable: they have an agenda for making changes, and they’re implementing them gradually, or whenever legal pressure forces them to.

I am wondering how they do it. First of all if you’re moving around a lot you have no place to call home really. So you can’t have pretty things, you can’t do a lot of things women and wives do in their homes such as decorating, making whatever food you want or hosting.

if it’s a region where they stay in other peoples homes, you have to be in a new home every week with new people, barely any privacy. You don’t have a space to decompress. I wonder also what their bedroom life is like - is it non existent?

People are pulling you and your husband in all sorts of directions and you always have to be picture perfect happy and an example to everyone.

You also have no time with your husband because of the responsibilities and the one day off you have is likely spent on the road. No time and money for dates, vacations, and treats.

Pretty much every CO wife I have met look sick and unhappy.

I once dated a brother who wanted to be a CO because he loved people. He was a commuter Bethelite and his family need greated in Uganda before coming back to England and working on the Britain branch relocation project. (idk if anyone on here worked on that, you may have crossed paths with him and his family). He dumped me because I wasn’t zealous enough, my PIMI parents were furious and felt it was my fault. I felt like my mum wanted to say her daughter is a CO wife. But my PIMI friends said I dodged a bullet.
I found out he got married this year. That poor poor girl.

Hi there, I wake up in 2022 and I leave the organization completely, no contact with family, fake friends and everyone that I know in the last 40 years.

But this organization will never take away from me my personal relationship with God. I pray to Jehovah and I read the Bible and I try to apply it in my life.

Even when I lost everyone in my life, I have the peace that I never experience ever, even after leaving all my life, wondering what is going on, for first time everything is really clear and very happy confident looking forward for what is coming.

If you are in the same situation, feel free to DM I would like to be in contact.

We’re often told that being a JW is the best way of life. But I have noticed a lot of JWs are ill with mysterious ailments and mental health issues.

I feel one of the reasons is because the average JW is in the middle - lower class and because we were barred from higher education for many years its harder to have higher income work / or work that enables insurance if you live in the US. I know money isn’t everything, but It can buy a better quality of life that can enable better health - better food, better medicine, better mental health care, better housing, better rest, more time for yourself and the things you enjoy. But I do feel many JWs keep themselves poor on purpose.

I also feel that a lot of JWs have no time to look after themselves, especially those in the full time service. When I pioneered I had no energy to cook healthy meals, exercise properly, keep my home clean (my apartment was the messiest) or even do active rest activities like the things I enjoy doing. No time or funds to treat myself to the self care women like to do. it’s only now im starting to figure out what my hobbies are. I was too busy preaching, working because I need to eat and also personal study and the extra curricular JW stuff. At the pioneer meetings we would be told to look after our health but then again we were told we needed to get our in service more, do our Bible studies and emphasise on personal study.

A lot of JWs seem to deal with suppressed emotions, once again especially those in the full time service. We were told we have to be an example to the rest of the congregation and everyone is looking up to us, so there was that pressure to be on point and be the JW poster pioneer. When We feel sad we are just told to pray, do personal study and to door to door. nothing to truly address what we’re going through. As a result these emotions come up in mysterious ailments.

Finally I feel some JWs also just depend on the paradise to solve Their problems even if their life right now is in poor shape and they could easily have a better life.

Are there any dedicated JW recovery organizations out there?

If not, I feel like that is something we really should come together as a community and create.

I'm talking like setting up real resources for mental health, housing, jobs, education, etc.

A real transition support network so it's easier for people to leave and feel safe and confident they can transition to a normal life.

And not just like setting up referrals but actually getting to the point of having facilities (that would be cool to get an old Kingdom Hall for the first one and painting it colorful and filling it with plants and art, basically a community center for ex-JWs).

Is anybody working on something like this or interested in the idea?

I feel like it's something that is desperately needed.

I recently returned from visiting family in Ohio, and in just two days, I've fallen into a deep depression.

I live with my mother, who is still a Jehovah's Witness, and she constantly pressures me to continue identifying as one, even though I'm questioning everything I was raised to believe.

I feel trapped between being who my family expects me to be and being honest with myself. I'm terrified of losing the people I love, but staying in a religion I no longer feel connected to is hurting me, too.

I'm exhausted, lonely, and honestly feel like I have no will to live anymore. I don't know how to cope with feeling trapped in my own home.

For those who left or questioned the organization while living with believing family, how did you get through it?

Yes, jehovah. Because the people worshipping zeus weren't expecting their god to end up in a museum either.

They prayed, raised their children to believe and died convinced he was real.

And you can read about him without the slightest concern that he'll strike your house tonight, but miss a few meetings and suddenly jehovah feels distant.

Interesting, right. The so-called creator of the universe needs you in that chair twice a week to maintain the spiritual connection.

Then there's the daily text, the broadcasts, family worship. Keep repeating it. Teach it to your children. And whatever you do, please please please, don't read what the people who left have to say. Or else....

That's a lot of human effort to keep an almighty god present.

“But jehovah will always exist”

Sure. That's what you were taught, but did you know that the people whose gods you dismiss had adults telling them the same thing?

They weren't knowingly practicing mythology. They had the Truth(TM).

Sound familiar?

I'm not predicting when jehovah will lose his last believer. We already have enough people making religious predictions.

But imagine we stopped teaching children to fear him. Let them grow up, examine the evidence, read whatever they wanted.

Would they discover, all by themselves, that the creator of the universe speaks through the gb?

Or would somebody have to sit them down and start playing the videos again?

Maybe I'm looking too deeply into things, but between purposefully making the doctrine more vague and confusing, putting a lot of focus on "obey even if you dont agree" and "the anointed(us) will be there in the great tribulation and its your job to take care of them(us)" sounds like an unfortunate mix of them considering claiming the great tribulation has hit in the near future.

I'm disabled and while im trying to get on disability and hopefully into disabled housing, im currently heavily reliant on my parents and i cannot deal with them going nuts. On top of that i am in college. I will legitimately end up homeless

I would be hopeful the fact they essentially said "1918 wasnt a real date actually and whats totally not the exact definition of the rapture is actually whats going to happen" would be enough to snap at least one family member out, but honestly i think they're all too far gone

Lately I’ve noticed a large uptick in social media accounts that seem entirely A I. They have almost no followers, fake picture, follow only clear JW accounts… also in their bio it will say witness like things but they all seem just a bit off. Like the website will be JW.com.org or like “best lifestyle ever” These JW accounts will post clearly A.I. versions of JW life. Basically supermodels being nead greaters. And then a mix of real people and these accounts like and comment on them. It seems to really amp up the real people. They will always comment on how beautiful and happy they are 🙄

At first I thought it was just JWs using A.I. images, since they love that so much. But there are A LOT of them. On my old witness account sometimes I will get several dozen of these accounts follow me everyday. Especially after I looked at the JW Pressroom IG account.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed this or had theories.