I went to Vietnam in June/July this year and came back to Australia feeling like I’ve lost myself. Has anyone else experienced this?
I don’t really know where to start with this, but I feel like I’ve lost myself over the last couple of years, and going to Vietnam in June/July made me realise just how much.
A couple of years ago, I felt like a completely different person. I was confident, charismatic, mentally strong and had a certain stoicism about me. I felt like I knew who I was and where I was going in life.
Now, I feel like a shell of that person.
My motivation is weak, I struggle to find that same drive I used to have, and some days I honestly feel like I’m just a vessel going through the motions. I wake up, go to work, earn money, come home and repeat the same routine. I don’t feel like I’m really living; I feel like I’m just existing.
Then I went to Vietnam in June/July, and something about that trip changed the way I look at life.
Being there made me realise that life is supposed to be about more than working your life away, paying bills and waiting for your next annual leave. There’s a whole world out there to explore, different cultures to experience, people to meet and ways to live that I’d never seriously considered before.
Seeing people living in Da Nang and Saigon, especially digital nomads and remote workers, genuinely made me question what the hell I’m doing with my life.
Here I am, working a job in pest control that I don’t particularly enjoy, trading most of my time for money, while seeing people overseas working remotely, enjoying their surroundings and seemingly having more freedom over how they live.
I know social media doesn’t show the full picture, and I’m not naive enough to think those people have perfect lives. But seeing that lifestyle made me realise that there are alternatives, and now I can’t stop thinking about them.
Coming back to Australia has been difficult. Everything feels repetitive, expensive and increasingly disconnected from the kind of life I want to live. I look around and feel frustrated with the direction the country is heading, the cost of living, the pressure to work constantly and the feeling that so much of my future is outside my control.
I’ve also found myself becoming increasingly consumed by online political content and discussions about immigration, demographics and the changing character of Australia. I sometimes wonder whether I’ve gone too far down the rabbit hole and become too cynical about everything. I don’t like the direction I feel things are heading, but I also recognise that constantly consuming this stuff probably isn’t helping my mindset.
The worst part is feeling powerless. I don’t want to spend my life angry at the state of the country or resentful of the life I’ve ended up living. I want to actually do something about it.
I want to get that old version of myself back. I want my confidence, charisma, discipline and motivation back. But part of me also wonders whether I’m supposed to get that old version of myself back at all, or whether this is a sign that I need to build a completely different life.
Vietnam opened my eyes to possibilities, but it also made returning to my normal routine feel incredibly difficult. It’s like I’ve seen a glimpse of the life I might want, but I’m stuck in a situation that feels completely different from it.
I keep thinking about moving to Da Nang, finding remote work, getting involved in social media or content creation and building a life where I have more freedom to travel and experience the world.
The problem is that wanting something and actually making it happen are two very different things. I have financial responsibilities, I need to earn money, and I can’t just pack up and disappear tomorrow.
I guess I’m writing this because I want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar.
**Have you ever travelled somewhere, come home and suddenly felt like your old life doesn’t fit you anymore?**
Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your personality, confidence and motivation, and struggled to figure out how to get them back?
And for anyone who has actually made the jump from a conventional life in Australia to working remotely overseas, was it worth it? How did you go about making it happen?
I don’t want to spend the next 10 or 20 years feeling like I’m just going through the motions. I want to feel alive again, have something to work towards and feel like I’m actually in control of my own future.
Right now, I just feel lost, and I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.