In early August of 2025, I'd finally decided I was done. Done thinking I could "do this myself" and admitted I needed help.

Too many hospital stays. More than I care to count.

At least 3 in the ICU...that I can remember.

I didn't WANT to drink, but I went grocery shopping and wound up in THAT aisle. I stared at fifths (my usual minimal nightly consumption, if not more) for...20 minutes? I walked away, but didn't know if I could NEXT TIME.

I found a treatment facility in Encinitas, CA and spent 8 and a half months there.

On the Uber ride down there, I put in my ear buds and just hit shuffle on my Spotify LIKES list. Eventually, NOT READY TO DIE came on. I'd heard it I don't know how many times before that, but it was DIFFERENT.

I started calling it my GET SOBER SONG. I shared it with my best friend, who is also the widow of one of my closest friends since high school. Our friendship had grown when we had to lean on each other pretty hard when his cancer got worse and eventually took him in June of 2024.

She cried...but, told me that it was a good cry and not like previous times when she thought she was going to lose me, too.

She also told me, "If you f&[《 this up, I'll kill you."

She's a GOTH LATINA...SO...she most likely meant it?🤣🤷🏻‍♂️

On October 14th, 2026 in Pomona, CA...I got to thank Ryan Clark in my own way.

I got a ticket...VIP package add-on...and had a custom ONE YEAR SOBER coin made with their demon skull logo, my sobriety date, and I'M NOT READY TO DIE etched on it.

After I gave it to him, he handed me a coin of their own.

And then I went APE against the rail for the rest of the night.

I can't thank them all enough...

Anybody going to be at one of the shows sometime who would be willing to buy me one of the long sleeves and send it my way? Went to the show in OKC and picked up some merch and got a long sleeve which I love but got my usual size medium and it wasn't till I got home and tried it on I found it fits fine at the moment but a couple washes in and or a few more hamburgers and it may be a tad tight.
Was looking to see if some way I could get the shirt in large. I'd pay for it and shipping and such where it'd just be me taking a moment of your time more or less. It’s the one pictured. Just seems like it won’t be long before I outgrow it and I wish I’d picked up a large as well now.