r/dbtselfhelp • u/ComputerRights • 28d ago

Do any DBT therapists of self help resources allow a more neurodivergent friendly approach?

For example, exemption from eye contact, vocal tones, having to rephrase everything, common oversimplified myths about body language, etc. Or allowing us to stim, or use verbal cues instead of eye contact to indicate listening.

16 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

19

u/persephonelux 27d ago

I think it’s about doing whatever is most effective. So if normative eye contact would help you get what you need from someone, perhaps DBT is about giving that a try. But if you don’t need something specific from someone and the goal is to be more comfortable in your body and not mask, then I think the DBT way would say that totally makes sense

2

u/ComputerRights 27d ago

What if your "something specific" is that you need the person to know that you're listening without making eye contact and sitting still, and that maybe, you would find listening harder otherwise? Can DBT be fully neurodivergent affirming?

2

u/NotSoSerene 23d ago

Hi, I’m a few days late to this thread but I’m a neurodivergent girly who loves DBT. For me, the goal of DBT is gaining the tools and skills I need to exist comfortably in my head and body. It’s about listening and advocating to yourself, and that’s going to look a bit differently for everyone.

Someone else may find that making eye contact is uncomfortable but makes them more present in conversations instead of overthinking, so learning to be comfortable in the anxiety that eye contact creates is actually really helpful for them. For you, maybe it’s learning about how to articulate your needs “Hey, I’m going to be looking down at my notebook and doodling while you’re talking because it helps me focus better” without worrying about the other person’s reaction, or developing coping skills when someone’s reaction makes you feel shame or guilt.

DBT is essentially a practice of giving yourself tools to deal with the realities of being a human. You may find a lot of the tools don’t work to you but that’s perfectly fine, normal, and expected. The “goal” is to expose yourself to new ways of thinking and to replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with more constructive ones. Finding which lessons and exercises help you is the journey.

2

u/rrrrrccola 27d ago

Linked a post below that has a pdf link for the neurodivergent dbt workbook!

https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/s/pC0ktee1XC

2

u/macsten 27d ago

Where are you based? Sydney o. An help with

2

u/ColeighRabe 26d ago

I agree with persephonelux. Make the techniques work for you, and I have a feeling that Ms Linehan (or she may be a dr or a Mrs) would say the same.

When i read your post my first thought was, you ought to keep a record of your adaptations and the impact on your life… it’d be easy to turn that into a book for others like us and even a how-to manual for therapists and psychiatrists.

Let me know if i can help tease out ideas

2

u/Geoffrey_Bungled_Z1p 26d ago

There is a DBT handbook for neurodivergent individuals google it

2

u/QuadrupleBite 26d ago

It's not DBT but I found "The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD" extremely helpful. There' also the neurodivergent dbt workbook by sonny j wise.

1

u/f0xbunny 22d ago

Oo Ty for this

1

u/ftmystery 26d ago

Here is a resource you might find interesting

1

u/theredqueentheory 25d ago

I'd say yes. Learning emotional regulation and interpersonal relationship skills has been a life changer for me. It's almost like an autistic "hack", because DBT teaches you exactly what to do and say to make your life easier and happier in the world as it is, while changing yourself (radical acceptance). It teaches specific things instead of general advice and talk therapy. I definitely recommend it!