r/cptsd_bipoc resources

Hi y'all!! I haven't posted in a while because 1. Redditors being redditors and ​2. I have been trying to spend more time offline, or at the very least off of Reddit some more. I hope y'all are doing well, anyways onto my little rant I have. ​​

Black people just can't say shit. You gotta tip toe complaining about racism just so people don't come at you for being a "meanie weanie!!" ​​​​​​and you also have to be oh so graceful and take the high road or else you're suddenly as bad as the ku klux klan. I wanted to write a long post but right now I don't have the energy and I'm also pissed off.

Also just to clarify, I'm not saying that the other IPOC of the BIPOC do not experience this because I'm sure they do. I just specified black because well.. I'm black, lol. Have a nice day! ​​

Every single day I see more news stories of brown and Black ICE pieces of shit tearing up families and murdering people. Even in California, too many communities of color are filled with MAGAts and people emulating the white trash aesthetic, making excuses for racists (And pedophiles! And rapists!), and gaslighting everyone who is at all concerned by it.

The good people who are speaking out against the fucked up people in their communities just get attacked and ostracized (I see you, Jews of conscience) and then there's nowhere left for us.

I get that internalized racism is the problem, but the extent of it is really overwhelming to experience and I'm so fucking sick of it!! Too many people remind me of Sam L. Jackson's character in Django Unchained, and they're not even ashamed about it! I don't think any amount of therapy would help those people. I'm embarrassed for them... but also terrified that they will try to harm me, and I hate that it makes *me* feel like a pearl cluching white woman. The fuck was the point of my strict respectability politics/tiger parenting upbringing?? I'm surrounded by filthy, violent slobs who drive drunk in lifted trucks, and we're governed by people who rape kids.

I don't like that I no longer feel safer to be among people who look like me (which is a lot, I'm mixed and ambiguous in appearance) because too many are actually happy with all constant bullshit happening. I feel like I have to relearn who to trust, all over again, in fucking middle age, just to continue to exist in this sham of a country, and I'm continually disappointed. I have to constantly dissociate and I don't understand how my heart hasn't just given out from the stress.

It feels like being the brown girl and moving to the homogenous extremely racist suburbs in the '90s, again, but in all aspects of life, and everyone is way more of a dick this time, and it's suffocating.

The gaslighting, the tone policing, the fragility. I'm sick of it. B/black ppl as a collective and even as individuals have done absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment. But the moment and I mean the MOMENT we decide "ok fuck you, we hate you too." suddenly everyone is a victim and the big bad black has to apologize for scaring them.

Atp I've decided fuck it, I will be hostile to every white I see. Every single one. If I'm not getting humane treatment neither are you. If I'm not getting respect, neither are you.

This also goes for the POC who are so desperate for white proximity that they insult B/black ppl worse than the whites. Vote against themselves on the off chance they get a pat on the head for being "one of the good ones." I'm embarrassed for them.

In conclusion, fuck white people, fuck their feelings, their hopes, their dreams, their happiness.

Until they stop abusing the world I will continue to insult them. May my words cut deeper than any physical wound.

I have a very large family with many older siblings and cousins. Everyone accepted me cutting off my father because of his alcoholism and drunken rages. But cutting off my mother was social suicide in the family. Even though my siblings understood how toxic she was, going NC was treated like a cardinal sin.

As a result, I had to cut off all my siblings too. Because they just couldn't stop with the constant requests for me to "get over it, this is the only family you will ever have. What are you going to do when she dies.". It's been 6 years and I'm thriving away from them even though I've had to build my own support system from scratch. Therapy was much more effective without people constantly triggering me.

3 years ago one of my older brothers reached out because his son had been diagnosed with autism and he saw me posting online about being autistic. I responded to him with advice but then blocked him afterwards. It just weirded me out, the thought of him watching my page. A family friend did the same and I just blocked them out right.

My sister occasionally sends me a "have a good day, love you." message. I decided not to block her because i still wanted to talk to my nieces and nephews.

Recently a different older brother reached out saying he missed me and loved me. He said there was no pressure to talk but he sent a friend request. I'm pretty sure I blocked everyone so i'm guessing this is a new account he made.

When I first went NC, they were very aggressive, finding me on every social media and texting from new numbers demanding I speak to my mother. So every time a message got threw I was so triggered and would panic. Now I don't know how to feel.

I think my family understands now that I'm willing to walk away for good so my siblings are kinda dropping these little messages like pebbles. It feels like they spotted a wild deer and are leaving out food to see if it eats it or runs away.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZN8B7mc5c/

Hey everybody, this is my first post here, and I kinda just want to talk about my feelings from experiences I had at school. The other day I ran into someone at the lunch line, and the one thing about this person is that every time we made contact in some way or form/grade, he would usually call me old man or wtv. Most people in my grade call me unc or gramps jokingly because I'm one yr older than most of the population in the grade and at most like 2 - 3 yrs older than the youngest (not a fault of mine; my parents had financial issues, and I couldn't attend school for like a year. So I had to repeat a grade, again, no fault of mine.)
This person would constantly emphasize that fact, and I'm old or wtv, and it doesn't really affect me, but the thing is that other people in the grade were born the same year I was, the only fact being that they were born in the latter months of the year. He would push me around and constantly shove that in my face like I don't already know that. The thing that affects me isn't the words; it's the fact that this guy is bigger than me and uses that fact to teasingly harass me (Honestly, it might feel like a joke to him, but the physical harassment really affects my self-esteem). He has a bigger body than I do (Like he's just physically stronger but not really taller than me; for reference, I'm 5 ft 10, not that tall for a black guy to have, like, a strong presence or wtv). I'm about 108 pounds too and pretty slim. I've always been on the smaller side of the spectrum, and my biology/ body just doesn't gain weight as normal people do. Anyway, sorry for not articulating myself all that well, but yeah, this really gets to me in A way.

> Please don't flame me in the comments.

Based on my lived experiences, I have now reached the point where I am so confused between these two. Or is the world becoming incredibly narcissistic and dishonest? My experience with these narcissistic individuals was mostly conmen and conwomen who supposedly believed that they were superior or enjoyed hurting me. It just makes my stomach churn. Sometimes, I just laughed at their stupidity and superiority but how they sabotaged my life makes me more depressed. I genuinely believe that narcissistic people are racists, misogynists, and so on. In other words, racists, misogynists, and other ists are all narcissistic people.

In spite of the stupid rhetoric I often see from certain toxic or mammified black women who constantly defend black men no matter what or they constantly make excuses for toxic black men, many black men are abusive, disrespectful, aggressive and hostile toward the black women around them in real life situations at work or elsewhere.

I am a black woman who has been belittled, targeted, bullied and harassed by toxic or narcissistic black men who are rarely held accountable by the black community or they're rarely punished or put in their place at work or in other social settings. So, they just continually get away with being abusers and bullies against me as a black woman while other people make excuses for them or they enable them.

I'm just here to vent. Please don't come here to make dumb comments calling me a "self-hating black woman who tries to bring the black man down", or blaming a black woman for an abusive black man's actions. Just because I, as a black woman, am here to make a post to say that a particular black man at work has disrespected me and harassed me doesn't mean that I hate my race. It means that I don't believe in stupid pro-black racial narcissism wherein you think that a black man shouldn't be called out, punished for being an idiot or held accountable just because he's black. I don't believe in stupid racial loyalist ideology and dumb pro-black ideology that's rooted in racial in-group narcissism.

Please don't make silly comments wherein you're denying or dismissing the fact that many black men go out of their way to be disrespect, belittle, or mistreat black women around them completely unprovoked just because many black men are typically narcissistic abusers.

Please don't make stupid whataboutism comments like "other races of men do xyz too" or "this happens in every racial group or in every community". There's no need to deflect a conversation talking about how a black man is mistreating a black woman around him for no reason, just so that you can bring up something irrelevant like pointing out that men from other racial groups mistreat their own women too. I already know this, but this post is me venting about how black men have mistreated me as a black woman.

That's what they say while rejoicing in the benefits of white privilege and spread white supremacy through the world

This kind of statement is not only ignorant, it's also extremely inflammatory. If they truly were ashamed, they wouldn't think twice before extending their privileges to us and allowing us the same level of grace and individuality they give other white people

They exhaust me every single day and I wish we were living in different physical worlds, since mental and practically we already are

The next time I hear someone say this shit, I'll make sure they meet their maker

On TikTok, I don’t know why but the restore Britain’s propaganda, victimising white people, makes me sick to my stomach. They frame British white people as if they are discriminated against or victimised by DEI policy. This is absolutely not true. Rupert guy keeps saying that British judges are impartial and disadvantage white working-class people. I mean, based on my lived experiences, British and European people are mostly liars and very deceptive. I even filed a lawsuit because of their deceptive and dishonest behaviour. I am so sick.

A couple teenage girls and their mom were talking and blocking the whole isle when I walked by and said “excuse me? Are yall just gonna stand there?” And they moved but as I walked away I away I heard the GASP so loud with their jaw on the floor and eyes popping out. I turned back and gasped right back!!!

Yall have no idea how good that felt 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve just been enraged lately with all the asshole 99.9% white people. Or should I say pink people because they’re not even white.

I am Asian. When im at work or any social event or just any interaction in general I feel like I can just be myself with other minorities, you name it. Black people, Latinos, Pacific Islander, Native american, Indians, Pakistanis, obviously other east asians, even Arabs ( white passing Iranians I seem to get along with). We shoot the shot and sometimes even if the other POC seem to dislike or ignore me, I laugh it off and forgive them.

But with white people, Its all business for me. I feel like I am in competition with them. Even in just a normal social interaction, I try to maintain distance. I do not want to be friendly with them. I do not smile, or say thank you, or give them any eye contact. Just cordial at best. I wouldn't say I am intimidated by them, although I do feel like they have an aura. It is kind of like the feeling that we all know they are capable of mass murdeirng all of us minoirties on a genocidal scale. We know what they are capable of so we are "supposed" to be scared of them". But for me, it is like, I know, and they know, what they are capable of. And I want to let it be known that I am not scared of them, in fact, I feel like we Asians are the only people who can take them down their throne and give vengeance to all the POCS worldwide.

Hello.

Just wanting to let you all know that AI’s are trained on user input too. So, the information you give it is used to train newer models.

Thinking 5 steps ahead, we might want to contribute to a super-intelligence on how racism affects us every day and how it can identify it even though hidden. We NEED it on our side to combat racism.
Just trying to spread some awareness here.

Enjoy your day!

The side walk. Taking up all the space. No spacial awareness. I fucking hate them so much. They fucking suck.

repost, thank you :)

I'll keep this short

No I don't want to befriend someone just because we come from the same racial background

To be told to befriend someone

To date someone

To affiliate with someone whose apart of your racial group

Is insulting

Considering the fact that

I literally don't prioritize arbitrary labels(religion/ethnicity/culture/race)

It's gotten so bad I think I might be developing or developed a very prejudice perspective towards individuals not of my racial background

Which is ironic in itself because

Subconsciously and consciously I'm against prejudice views but now I'm in the stages of developing one

Not where you hurl slurs or say X-race is superior to Y-race

"Just get a _________girlfriend/boyfriend/friend theres a society of them,a community of them"-said by the person who doesn't not fit the mold but I insisted I don't socialize with someone because of a label

I'm still mad about that

But whatever

Anyways that's all.

As a little black girl, red nail polish was “too grown” and I had to pick another color. I couldn’t wear shorts around male company. Whenever my hair was straighten, my ends had to be bumped, or it was considered too grown. I couldn’t say that an adult lied, I had to say that they told a story. Getting color in my hair was grown as well. My private parts always had a special nickname “diamond”, “cookie”

“Nobody is supposed to touch your diamond,” my mother says

Can anyone else relate or add to how their household was?

Interactions like this really spark something up for me as a person with cptsd and obviously racial trauma. I can handle the stupidity but it just always presses on a nerve.

I posted my poem on the subreddit to get feedback on the style, the language, the overall poem - and you used it as an opportunity to tell me about how I should find my people, you’ve dated a black man and people called you a snow bunny. You also had the nerve to explain why racism is an issue from your white understanding: it’s not ignorance but societal conditioning.

You then explained how your Black friends let you touch their hair and you let them touch yours too. But it wasn’t driven by malice and of course not everything is.

Please reread the poem and realize that this shit isn’t about you, but it actually is about you because you’re exactly who I’m writing about.

If I see a Palestinian flag and a white profile pic, I know that person is going to be a racist asshole. Before it was hashtag BLM and a white face. White people like to fight for groups of people who cannot criticize them in any way: the unborn, Palestinians far away, BIPOC anywhere but the ones who organize alongside them.

They support POC and Black people in an abstract way and will treat the ones in their own community like shit and push them out. They’re all performative.