r/comic_crits • • 8d ago

First time doing comic pages, how could I improve?

I did this traditionally with a brush pen. I feel like my first two pages - specifically the poses - aren’t as good as the third page. And I don’t know if it’s clear enough what’s happening.

And sorry for my bad handwriting.

35 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 8d ago

Thanks for posting to /r/comic_crits.

  • Everyone should make note of the rules and tips posted to the sidebar. Users on mobile can select "community info" or follow this direct link -- https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/config/sidebar.

  • Please note the new rule regarding context in the sidebar or direct link for mobile: https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/rules/context. Context is required for single-panel excerpts, covers, illustrations, character designs, pin-ups, etc.

  • Users providing feedback are encouraged to provide detailed and thorough feedback (at very least 50-100 characters in a top-level comment).

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/craftyPseudonym 8d ago

The thief's pose feels pretty awkward. His upper and lower body feel like they belong to two separate images. His legs being so spread apart seem more like he is trying to do a long jump rather than running away. I would suggest bending the knee of the forward leg more and lowering the rear foot: something more like this https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/running-track-1667904802.jpg?crop=0.668xw:1.00xh;0.0714xw,0&resize=640:*

His upper body doesn't match with his legs. His right leg is extended fully forward, yet his torso is turned to the right. This results in a twist that feels very unnatural and doesn't really make sense for someone running. I think you could fix this a few ways: make the turn less extreme/mainly based in the head and neck, have the left leg be the one extended, or reduce the amount the leg is extended forward.

His arms give the impression that he is being defensive of a purse that he already had, and not that he has just grabbed it and is running off with it. Either showing the purse trailing behind him or clutched in his forward hand would help sell the action a little more.

For the old lady, I honestly like her pose and think you did a good job there.

The old man's dialogue in panel 3 feels like it needs to be split between more than one panel - the "ow" warrants its own moment in time. In this case I would suggest moving "That old lady stole my cane -" to panel 2, having it come from off-panel to the left.

I will put this bluntly: page 1 feels pretty boring. It would benefit from either adding a lot more detail to the large establishing shot, or replacing it with a series of aspect-to-aspect transitions to give more of a sense of life to the city.

My commentary of the legs at the bottom is the same as in page 2.

Page 3 feels exciting and well-laid out.

I also want to point out that you have done a very good job with line weight here. Your characters stand out from the world while still feeling like they belong in it.

1

u/SkepticFilmBuff 8d ago

Thank you so much for the insightful (and specific) feedback! I was honestly going back and forth on how the thief should look, and I was wondering what the pose need to work. And I definitely phoned it in on page 1, I'm not great with backgrounds.

1

u/Background_Ad5513 8d ago

It’s very clear! Other comment pointed out the poses, so in addition to that I’ll just say I wish the speech bubble in the second panel on page 2 wasn’t overlapping with the cane, since it serves as the setup for the next panel’s joke.

Also would be funny if the “no stealing” posters showed the same character that shows up on page 3. And when she shows up, I think it would have been good to show the damage to the sidewalk (atm it’s too hidden behind her and the other panel)

1

u/comixtripx 6d ago

For what this is, I thought it was fine. Good work. The one criticism I have is that the lip in the last panel reads more like a mustache.

1

u/Leopold_and_Brink 4d ago

You’ll likely want to work on volume in your art style. It’s perfectly fine to have a flat style. See herriman the master!! And spend more time with the storyboarding. That will let you know where backgrounds need to be deeper or more detailed. Really is a wonderful medium. Welcome!! Keep chugging. 🥳🥳🥳