r/comic_crits • u/94Sundy • 10d ago
First Scene Storyboard - tips? Resources?
The story is called The Race, about a boy whose desire to understand the world shakes up his father and brother's triathlon mission. It might be 300 of these square pages in total. I'm more focused on the story now. If the story seems promising, then I might invest in the three years it will likely take to produce the first chapter at a level of illustration... that people might want to read.
3
u/Tepperzday 9d ago
This kid sure loves to yap /silly
Maybe read making comic by scott mcloud? It might help with clarity. Because as it is, i have trouble following the story.
2
u/NicholasIvins 9d ago
It looks interesting, but it's a little hard to follow, mostly because the artwork lacks clarity and it moves a little too quickly. The boy's constant speaking creates a rushed pacing that is distracting. You seem able to create an atmospheric image when you want to, such as the shadowy woods. But in other panels like the "Almost there!" on page 5, I have no idea what's going on there. When you're introducing the reader to new environments in such a rapid fire way you have to take the time to detail them out so it's not just a bunch of fields of color that are difficult to decipher. And the lettering is pretty messy and hard to read.
I would proceed in making your 300 pages. You'll definitely learn a lot along the way!
1
u/94Sundy 8d ago
Yeah for this draft just even to be able to get it all down I need to go easy on the detail. If the story works, then I do intend to really go in on some of the environs. I mean, I can see this draft is pretty hideous with the color choices and stuff. I don't know how to draw half the stuff I have to draw yet.
1
u/Psychedelic_Muck 8d ago
I think this seems promising.
I, too, would recommend that you try to remove a lot of the unnecessary talking, to let the panels and actions speak for themselves :D Try removing and modifying some of the word bubbles and see what happens. What if the panel three doesn't have one? What if he thinks at the first one and whispers in the rest, while he's in the house? Etc.
I definitely want to see more.
1
u/94Sundy 8d ago
Thanks. In this draft Terence is really never gonna stfu. He drives everyone crazy. The challenge is to make him smart enough to offset how annoying he is. Difficult because he needs to be smarter than me.
1
u/Psychedelic_Muck 8d ago
If he needs to be talking all the time but what he says isn't crucial, you could use some silent panels and clearly show by his body language that he's talking/explaining constantly. This way the constant yapping wouldn't get in the way of storytelling. It actually help that he has the dog/some audience to interact with :D








•
u/AutoModerator 10d ago
Thanks for posting to /r/comic_crits.
Everyone should make note of the rules and tips posted to the sidebar. Users on mobile can select "community info" or follow this direct link -- https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/config/sidebar.
Please note the new rule regarding context in the sidebar or direct link for mobile: https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/rules/context. Context is required for single-panel excerpts, covers, illustrations, character designs, pin-ups, etc.
Users providing feedback are encouraged to provide detailed and thorough feedback (at very least 50-100 characters in a top-level comment).
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.