only need to fill out a short form. more info there. thank you!

for context;;;;

i’m talking ab a straight white cis male coworker who tries to mansplain to you how that being adopted by americans was the best life for us otherwise we would’ve just been “thrown out” since we “weren’t wanted”

(def took it personal and def gave him hell for it- got a cheeseburger and cheese fries outta it in the end but still…)

do you have experiences like these and if so, how do you deal with them in a way that is empowering to you but still shuts them tffff up !?

Hello, u/everyone!

I’m Emma, and I am currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Asia-Pacific Studies at National Chengchi University in Taipei. I am doing my Master’s Thesis on how Chinese adoptees and their allies use digital spaces for transnational activism. The groups that I am focused on recruiting for interviews are Chinese adoptees over the age of 18 who were adopted to the United States and are now active in the Chinese adoptee community, and allies (including adoptive parents) who are also active in the community. I was wondering if there would be anyone here who would be interested in participating in interviews sometime, hopefully in the next two weeks. I have a consent form if you want me to send that to you. If you have any questions about the interview or what it would entail, you may email me at [emmaqing02@gmail.com](mailto:emmaqing02@gmail.com). If you are interested in participating, please fill out this Google Form (https://forms.gle/7ek3sZKMacwL27HJ6).

Thank you!

The company I was adopted through has an affliliate company that is offering a tour for adult adoptees to Shanghai. I'm curious if anyone has done something like this before?

Fellow international adoptee from China. Adopted at the age of 2 from Sichuan. My family is white, I grew up with two other sisters adopted from china as well (not blood related).

I have been struggling with my mental health since moving out on my own. I have struggled with self harm in grade school, substance abuse, and just general depression/anxiety and disordered attachment. I realized I am very confused when it comes to identity and feeling like I belong.

Curious to see if any other adoptees have struggled with anything similar? How are you coping and what are you doing to help? I understand healing is a life-long journey, would love to connect with others going through similar things.

What are the best DNA tests to find my biological parents ? Since 23 and me is gone, idk where to look.

Hi, I was adopted in 2009, I’m 17 yo F, and I just got back from a trip to China with my adoptive mother and brother.

First of all, I'm incredibly happy that I was able to make this trip, and I'm so grateful to my mom because I've seen adopted children on this channel who are much less lucky than I am...

This trip was incredible because I finally felt like I belonged somewhere (even though people often stared at me because I was with Europeans). Since I live in a rural area of Belgium, there are no Chinese people around me, except a friend who is mixed chinese. There are still three other girls who were adopted at the same time as me, but they aren’t interested yet in learning about their country of origin and they live in others cities than mine. Other than them, I don't know any other adopted of my age.

I learned Chinese about a year before going (not seriously enough tho), with the help of a language partner. At first there, I was really happy to understand a few sentences, and since I look Chinese, people spoke to me in Chinese. But I quickly felt insufficient because my level wasn’t nearly good enough and I was putting pressure on myself—since I looked Chinese, I was Chinese, so I should have been more fluent in my own language...

I didn’t go there to find information about my parents, but rather to explore the country with the help of a travel agency and guides. Thanks to that, I not only discovered the idyllic side of China, but I also discovered places where I might have grown up in less rich areas. I know I’ve had many benefits from being adopted, but socially speaking, I feel left out where I am and I feel like my personality would fit in better in China, and it's the only place where I've ever felt pretty, even though my mom tells me so, because I don't fit European standards.

I wasn’t used to the food or the way of life but still I miss everything now that I've returned, for example in european bar there's strip-tease but in chinese one there are good looking boys who sing well 😶‍🌫 Despite all of this I fell so lonely because I saw lots of young people in couples or with friends, and I was craving that. I think I'm craving people who look like me... I realize it's a bit too much to ask isn't it? I should be satisfied, but I still feel like something’s missing I’ve already tried making friends online, but it’s not easy. I don't know what to do to fill this void.

Thank you for reading. I'd be happy to talk with you if you'd like.

I was adopted in 1994 by American parents. Back in 2016 I did 23andme and didn’t get any close family matches for an entire decade. Last Thursday I got a message saying I had a sibling match in the database. Brian and Lan from DNAconnect have been facilitating our reunion, and I’ve been able to talk to my birth family members through WeChat for the past week.

The good parts: I’ve finally gotten answers to questions I’ve had for forever. I know my family medical history. I’ve been able to see pictures of my parents and siblings (the family resemblance is crazy!). I learned that my reported birthday and finding day were completely falsified, and now I know when my real birthday is. The information has been overwhelming at times, but at the same time I’m so happy to have it. I’ve greatly enjoyed talking to my siblings and we all have so much in common that I’m both surprised and unsurprised. I don’t feel “more whole” than I did before but my soul feels more settled, if that makes sense.

The downsides: I feel like I have to be very careful about what I share with my biological parents. Unfortunately my adoptive mother was very abusive, to the point that I cut off contact with her a few years ago. My birth parents have already expressed guilt and regret about how I came to be up for adoption in the orphanage and I don’t want them to feel more guilty, so I’ve been very vague about my adoptive parents. I know I’ll tell them eventually, but it’s hard to decide when to disclose that information.

My adoptive family also hasn’t reacted well. When I told them I knew they were bound to have some mixed feelings about the matter, as did I, but my sister in particular seems like she’s struggling with adjusting. There’s a whole complicated history that’s too long to put into a reddit post, which I’m sure factors in to her reaction. I’m trying to be understanding of her feelings, but at the same time I’m not sure I fully understand them.

At the end of the day I’m very happy to have found them. Getting to know them has been a highlight of my life, and seeing my birth parents’ faces for the first time is a core memory. They have all been incredibly accepting. The biggest thing I am sad about is how my adoptive family is reacting, but even then I hope they’ll come around once they’ve had time to adjust and process this information.

Hello All,

I am a 3rd year masters student in an LMHC program to be a therapist, and my main goal is to ensure Chinese adoptees feel supported and validated for the niche situations and events that come from the one child rule and the nature of how anonymous the whole process is. I apologize if this is against the rules but I am attaching my education and support group intake survey to see what times and topics people would like to discuss in our weekly meetings!

hello, I am conducting an anonymous one-child policy survey for a college class. I would love to hear any Chinese Adoptees input. As a fellow adoptee, I understand this is a sensitive topic so please only participate if you’re comfortable! Here’s the Google form link: Google form link

Feel free to share it as well!

Hi ! I'm 24F and I was adopted in 2002 from Dianbai, Guangdong. So I came across a Chinese non-governmental organism that supposedly help chinese adoptees and bio-families reunion. Anybody has any information on this ? It's called baobeihuijia! Thank you ♡

Hi everyone! In September, I made a post asking for fellow Chinese adoptees to share their experiences with me to include in my final year exhibition. First semester is essentially done, so I wanted to share with everyone the work I have finished so far.

I wanted to thank everyone who contributed to this assignment. I am continuing this project until April, when the exhibition is. Hearing from others who share similar experiences to me has been very healing and inspiring, and I am so thankful to everyone who helped me out along the way.

New sub found? I guess I’ll share it here too…

Being around people who don’t look like me, who have never made me feel welcome, yet to be able to communicate with these strangers, scary…uncanny

To be around those who look like me, who make me feel welcomed, but sadness I am unable to be with them because I can’t talk with them, and thus I am no longer welcomed by them either

Is some other level of 'driving me crazy'.

🇨🇳/🇺🇸

Both yet neither

Not one or the other, yet also not in between