r/BetaReaders • • 7d ago

Meta [Meta] Please review our subreddit’s resources on the sidebar and wiki to help with your posts here

14 Upvotes

For extra accessibility and convenience, r/betareaders is pinning this post with a link to the wiki: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/wiki/index/

Additionally, you may find these comprehensive resources helpful in creating your own blurb or synopsis

If you are aiming for traditional publishing or self publishing, writing a query letter blurb will not only help tell potential betas what they can expect, but they also show you the core components of your story upfront and often helps with DIY revision

Many people prefer detailed information to help them decide on taking on a beta read, but the subreddit currently strictly enforces 2 key pieces of information in posts as some people want more privacy and will DM them to respondents

Please do take note of r/betareaders rules, which are found on the sidebar to the right, and are also expanded on in the wiki. The sidebar also has clickable links to templates that give suggestions for information beta readers would like to know before responding. The less you provide, the less enticing your post is. Conversely, extremely long posts also reduce likelihood in responses

And again, this is a fully free subreddit that does not permit services or requests for money in any form. It is also anti-AI generated works and pro-human

The wiki will have minor updates in future, and so will the comprehensive resources linked

Best wishes for your writing, revising, and beta reading!


r/BetaReaders • • 13d ago

Discussion [Discussion] r/BetaReaders check-in series! Share how your WIP is going, or how your beta reading is going, ask questions, and connect with more writers and readers!

2 Upvotes

Hello r/BetaReaders!

Who else can’t believe it’s October already? Time flies!

Here’s this month’s prompt in the spirit of Halloween season: have you ever felt chills or thrills from beta feedback or books you’ve beta read? Whether it’s from how accurate the feedback was or how much more you realized you needed to revise than you initially thought?


Welcome to our tenth monthly check-in thread!

These monthly pinned post aims to help the community connect with other writers and betas!

Share how your WIP is going, or how your current beta read is going, or other relatable beta reading topics in this thread!

This is a great thread to talk about writing, updates, accountability, trends, vents, and more.

It is not the right thread to post first pages as there’s another pinned thread for that, but you can link to your beta post if you wish.

Do NOT advertise any beta/editor services here, and no free samples to later ask for payment are allowed. You can try r/hireaneditor or r/freelance_forhire instead.

We also ask that self promotion of completed works do not contain links. Mentioning success is completely fine!

And we’d like to take this opportunity to remind people that works generated with AI, and AI-generated feedback is not allowed here, either. r/writingwithAI or r/betareadersforAI are better subreddits for that.

And because scammers are now targeting GDocs: please DM them and not leave them up on the sub publicly to avoid harassment

I’d also like to note that we have additional flairs available to help people know what specialty you have: traditional publishing, self-publishing, and fanfic. Please consider using them to help people match with you.

Also, it’s best to subscribe to our sub before commenting or posting to help avoid Reddit’s filters sending your content into the spam queue

Please ensure you comment in good faith and do not break any other r/betareaders rules.

Thank you, and happy writing/reading/editing/beta matching!


r/BetaReaders • • 5h ago

80k [Complete] [81k] [historical romance] The Master of the Pen

5 Upvotes

Hi guys, I'm looking for beta readers for my historical romance novel, it's inspired by gothic classics like Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, and Frankenstein. It features themes of love, mental illness, and disability, and an intense, suspenseful plot. It's full of plot twists so I won't spoil much here.

Synopsis:

A young author named Francine is struggling to make a name for herself in 19th century Paris. Amid personal tragedies and financial hardships, she finally lands her first contract which brings her recognition and attention from Comte Le Grand, her favorite author. He offers her a lucrative deal, and she falls madly in love with her benefactor. However, her road to success gets unexpectedly bumpy when she makes a sobering discovery, and she suddenly has to fight not only for her career, but for her life. 

IMPORTANT: No AI was EVER used in the creation of this book and I'm looking for HUMAN feedback only. It's extremely important to me that AI doesn't touch my work in any way.


r/BetaReaders • • 2h ago

Novella [In progress] [21,036] [Fanfiction] [Psychological horror] Looking for a beta reader to give me constructive criticisms

1 Upvotes

Hello! I'm looking for a beta reader just to have an opinion cause I feel my writing as cringe or embarrassing since I started publishing them.

Synopsis: When pro hero Hizashi Yamada—known to the world as Present Mic—learns that his childhood best friend Oboro Shirakumo was murdered and his corpse was stolen to create the villain Kurogiri, something inside him shatters. Unable to grieve, unable to sleep, and unable to accept that his friend became nothing more than a tool for villains, Yamada begins a slow, horrifying descent into madness.

Warnings: Graphic Violence & Gore, Cannibalism, Mental Illness & Psychological Horror, Drug Use & Addiction, Panic Attacks & PTSD Symptoms, Suicidal ideation and attempt

And... I wrote this for fun at first, but I'm just adding more gore stuff...

If you're feeling like reading my fanfiction, please DM me! Ty!!!


r/BetaReaders • • 7h ago

70k [Complete] [76k] [History/Political Nonfiction] A Complete Accounting

2 Upvotes

Ever heard someone say, “Politicians have always been corrupt”? A Complete Accounting is my attempt to put that claim to the test, tracing 250 years of presidential scandals, political favors, cover-ups, and reforms. From George Washington to Donald Trump, it is written for curious readers rather than political experts or history buffs; it examines what actually happened without setting out to defend or condemn any particular party.

Every single President has their section, large or small, that covers the scandals that occurred in the executive branch under their presidency. Chapter 1 serves as the introduction and framework, 2-11 cover the 250 years from 1776 through 2026, and then a conclusion and short discussion at the end.

What I'm looking for in the next 2-4 weeks for sectional Beta Readers, and 3-6 weeks for anyone who would be genuinely interested in the full text to read:

  • Engagement: Does the writing hold your attention, even if presidential history isn't normally your thing? Are there places where it drags?
  • Credibility: Do the arguments and assessments seem fair, convincing, and supported by the evidence presented?
  • Accuracy: Did you notice any factual mistakes, missing context, or questionable interpretations?
  • Overall impression: Did anything surprise you or challenge something you previously believed? Would you want to keep reading?

Every version includes the complete Preface, introductory Chapter One, original chapter endnotes, and at least the opening four pages of the conclusion. Please note the endnotes makeup something like 20% of the page count, so they're a bit shorter than it would suggest. You can pick whichever era interests you; if you'd like two sections please let me know and I can send you two of them. Below this list is President Harding's General Assessment; each President gets one at the end of their administration.

1. The Founding & Jacksonian Era (1789–1837)

  • Washington through Andrew Jackson
  • Chapters 2–3 | 69 pages

2. Spoils, War & Reconstruction (1837–1885)

  • Martin Van Buren through Chester A. Arthur
  • Chapter 4 | 64 pages

3. Reform & the Age of Scandal (1885–1929)

  • Grover Cleveland through Calvin Coolidge
  • Chapters 5–6 | 86 pages

4. The Expanding Presidency (1929–1974)

  • Herbert Hoover through Richard Nixon
  • Chapters 7–8 | 76 pages

5. The Post-Watergate Presidency (1974–2025)

  • Gerald Ford through Joe Biden, including Trump's first term
  • Chapters 9–10 | 85 pages

6. The Contemporary Presidency (2017–2026)

  • Trump → Biden → Trump
  • Chapters 10–11 | 101 pages
  • Includes the complete conclusion and its endnotes

7. Eight Presidential Case Studies (1789–2025)

  • George Washington (1789–1797)
  • Ulysses S. Grant (1869–1877)
  • Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909)
  • Warren G. Harding (1921–1923)
  • Richard Nixon (1969–1974)
  • Barack Obama (2009–2017)
  • Donald Trump (2017–2021)
  • Joe Biden (2021–2025)
  • 85 pages

Overall Assessment: Warren G. Harding. No evidence ties Harding directly to the bribes, kickbacks, or stolen public money that made his administration infamous. His responsibility lies somewhere else. He selected Fall, Forbes, and Daugherty largely through personal or political trust, defended Fall's oil-reserve policy without discovering the payments behind it, and acted against Forbes and Jess Smith only after serious warning signs finally reached him. Much of the evidence that would destroy their reputations emerged too late for Harding to face the full scandal himself, so it would be unfair to accuse him of knowingly tolerating everything investigators uncovered after his death. The harder verdict is that an administration containing Hughes, Mellon, and Hoover proves Harding could recognize ability when he looked for it. Around his friends, he too often stopped looking.


r/BetaReaders • • 11h ago

70k [complete] [70k] [arranged marriage mafia romance] Reckless Absolution

2 Upvotes

Seeking beta readers!

Blurb:

A marriage born of obedience. A love neither of them anticipated.

Quinn Calven has spent her life learning how to be what others need her to be. A tool for negotiation. A flawless wife. She’s a woman forged by deception. But behind the mask she presents to the world, she carries a grief she cannot escape and a secret she must keep hidden from the public eye.

Jack Drussario, a capo in one of the city’s most formidable mafia families, understands that loyalty is earned, power comes at a price, and certain duties cannot be refused. His arranged marriage to Quinn is meant to strengthen an alliance between rival families, but Jack never wanted a relationship built solely on obligation. He craves a wife, a partner, and a life together.

Quinn is beautiful, composed, and everything a mafia wife should be. But beneath the surface, she’s fighting a battle Jack never agreed to be part of.

As their marriage develops into something unexpected, Jack starts to see through the persona Quinn has meticulously created. He offers her the one thing she’s never even considered asking for: a place where she doesn’t have to prove her worth.

But passion can’t erase grief, and devotion can’t compel someone to embrace a life they’re not ready to save.

Reckless Absolution is a dark mafia romance about an arranged marriage, unpredictable love, addiction, loss, and the arduous road toward choosing to live.

 

Ask for a little taste if you think you’d be interested.

 

Content warnings:

Reckless Absolution explores mature themes that some readers might find distressing, including:

substance use and addiction

grief and loss

violence and murder

family control and coercion

drug and alcohol use

sexual content

\Further consideration may be necessary; please read with care.*

 

Feedback I am looking for…

*Feel free to answer as many of the questions below as you want and/or give additional feedback.

 

A)     Overall impression of the book

a.      Parts you loved

b.      Points you felt bored or considered putting the book down

c.      Moment or line that stuck with you after finishing the book

B)     Were you satisfied with the ending? Did it feel earned?

C)    Were the characters believable?

a.      Did you understand their motivations?

b.      Character development?

c.      And/or just a general impression/feeling of the characters (ex. Did they make you frustrated/did you have any strong emotions toward them?)

D)    Did you agree with the way Jack handled Quinn’s addiction?

a.      Follow-up question: Did it feel as though he supported her through her recovery?

E)      Was the attraction believable?

a.      Did the intimate scenes feel meaningful?

b.      At what point did you (if you did) stop seeing them as people fulfilling an arrangement and start seeing them as a genuine couple?

F)      Did the world-building feel complete?

a.      If not, where would you like to see improvement?

G)    Finally: pacing, prose, and clarity

a.      Did the characters have distinct voices?

b.      Was there anything you felt was unnecessarily repeated OR was under-explained?

 

Preferred timeline:

I’d like to hear something back within two weeks. But if you need more time, just let me know. 😊

 

Critique swap availability

I would totally be open to this!


r/BetaReaders • • 12h ago

Novelette [In Progress] [14k] [Cozy Women’s Epistolary Fiction] The Incomplete Works of Ivy & Grace

2 Upvotes

Hi! Seeking readers / swaps for my unfinished epistolary novel. My story may appeal to readers who enjoy the self-deprecating, literary voice of Emma M. Lion or the epistolary style of The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Society. (May have butchered that title- one of my fave books but still don’t know the title)

Set in 2014, Ivy & Grace are bookish best friends who start emailing each other when Grace moves away for a new job. The story follows them as they share their lives, their joys and misfortunes, and what books they’re reading.

I‘d be potentially interested in doing a swap for manuscripts of similar lengths, or the first chapters of yours even if your book is longer. Send me a DM so we could see if we’re a good fit. I will say I don’t think I’m a good fit for anything with dark themes or heavy spice.

*Excerpt*

Dear Grace,

Right now, you are probably fast asleep, exhausted after a fulfilling night of saving lives at your new job.

And I? Well, my dearest friend is gone, and it will probably be months before I see you again; therefore, I have good reason to be completely miserable. 

I know what you’re thinking: when have I ever waited for a good reason to be miserable?

‘Tis true, ‘tis true, ‘tis pity and pity ‘tis true. However, I am turning over a new leaf, as soon as I’ve wallowed just a little bit in your absence.

I miss you!! and have barely gotten a chance to communicate this since we’ve been missing each other's calls all week! Darn night shift. Since I can’t talk to you right now, I must send this email and do it by proxy. 

So please tell me, because I’m dying for information: how’s Connecticut? How’s your job? And most importantly, how is Linus? 

I don’t have anything interesting to report. It rained all day; in fact, it’s been raining incessantly since you left, which has a bad effect on nannies and children alike. I entertained us all as best I could, but by midafternoon, they were at each other’s throats and I was at the end of my wits, so Eliza watched a movie while Charlie took a much needed nap… and I read my book and tried to recover my sanity. 

Xoxoxo, 

–Ivy

Ps. I’d appreciate it if you refrained from any comments on my sanity or lack thereof. 


r/BetaReaders • • 9h ago

Novella [Complete][20K] [Science Fiction], Claim Vector - the Terraform Codex

1 Upvotes

Hi all,

I have completed my first Science fiction book and am looking for feedback (I've already written several kids' books). Here is an overview of the book.

Commander Raan Lev-Serik is a hired gun for the intergalactic insurance company, IIC (Interstellar Insurance Company). In a fractured galaxy where insurance contracts are enforced with guns, and loyalty is just another clause, Commander Raan leads Team Kestrel on high-risk recovery

missions. What begins as a routine retrieval spirals into a moral reckoning when the team

uncovers the Codex—an ancient artifact capable of stabilizing or destroying entire worlds.

Caught between corporate directives, rival mercenary units, and survivors who have built fragile

lives around the Codex, Raan is forced to confront the cost of obedience, the weight of past

wars, and the people he cannot afford to lose. As betrayals surface and lines between right and

lawful collapse, every choice demands a price—sometimes paid in blood.

Blending hard science fiction with military action and emotional depth, this story explores power,

responsibility, and what remains of humanity when survival is written into a contract.

Thanks,
Dolev


r/BetaReaders • • 13h ago

80k [Complete] [85k] [Various] Various

2 Upvotes

Am asking for reviews (or beta swaps) of agent submission pages specifically, aka the first 10-60 pages of a novel. (Happy to have readers for the whole book, but can't swap on those because I don't have the bandwidth right now.)

I consistently get told my premises are good (even by agents themselves). Previous betas haven't found any serious issues in anything I've written so far and I've actually gotten compliments on my work. Agent who see the queries alone want pages.

Then I get rejected (a lot) because agents apparently don't vibe or "connect" with something about those same pages. I have about 10+ personalized rejections saying exactly that. I'm trying to figure out what the specific issue actually is.

I have the following:

Into the Forest (Robin Hood): Adult Historical/Book Club, 101k. Kind of the prequel told from the perspective of Marianne's older sister Elizabeth.

Empiryan: Adult Science Fantasy, 97k. Inet is a human convict sentenced to a penal colony. Slaine is a native who is blackmailed into spying on the human colonists. Things are soon to explode.

Lost Pages: YA action-adventure fantasy, 85k. Mina tries to prove her worth by solving a cold case and get dragged into a larger struggle for control over her planet's magic.

The Interns: YA action-adventure fantasy, 75k. Nadia ends up in badly-run magical internship program where she and her fellow interns are mostly left to their own devices. Chaos ensues.

The Friends You Thought You Knew: Adult Chick Lit/Women's Lit/Book Club, 77k. Fired from her dead-end job, Shannon goes home for her cousin's blowout wedding only to be haunted by the ghosts of situationships past.

Any takers?


r/BetaReaders • • 11h ago

>100k [In Progress] [157k] [Science Fiction Thriller] Ark Meridian: Six high school kids, a news van, and the Navy's oldest secret

1 Upvotes

Taft, California. Friday, October 25, 1996. Homecoming.

Eight miles northeast of town, three hundred feet beneath the Elk Hills Naval Petroleum Reserve, the Navy has spent decades studying something it cannot explain and cannot turn off. At 3:04 that afternoon it wakes for the third time in three hours. By the time anyone thinks to check the wind, an invisible plume nobody authorized has been drifting toward ten thousand people for over an hour.

At 8:56 PM the stadium lights die mid-play. The sky to the northeast is glowing. Highway 119 is gone. Every Bakersfield station has gone dark, the phones are dead, and the government’s answer is a ten-mile lockdown and a story about a chemical release.

Only one signal is still on the air: a high school TV station, run by five seniors who were supposed to be covering a football game.

Over the next eleven hours they will do what no one else does. Go toward the light.

What they find there are neighbors walking into the glow and smiling, a strange light in the sky answering back, and a Navy captain who has known the truth for years and buried it. All of it leads to a question older than the town, the Navy, or the human race:

What if the oldest thing on Earth didn’t come from here? And what if we didn’t either?

Ark Meridian is a story about where we came from, told by the six kids who refused to let anyone bury it.

Google Docs (comment access) or PDF/DOCX, your choice. This is a working draft: 48 chapters plus prologue, ~157k words so far, with several chapters still to write and a hefty trimming pass ahead of me. I’m not after polish notes yet, just honest reader reactions to what’s on the page so far. Read as much or as little as holds your interest, and tell me where it stopped holding it. No hard deadline; a few weeks would be ideal. Happy to send just the first act (~45k) if you’d rather sample before committing.


r/BetaReaders • • 18h ago

Novelette [Complete] [15349] [Sci-Fi] Rekindling the Faded Stars – Prologue and Chapter 1

3 Upvotes

Blurb

Never heard of Russian Cosmism? Then meet the philosophy that dreamed of raising the dead and settling the stars.

When Thais, the Athenian hetaira and companion of Alexander the Great, reaches the end of her life, two immortals from the far future bring her back. But Thais returns with her memories, strong will, and ancient ideas about how life should be lived.

Rekindling the Faded Stars is a work of humanist science fiction exploring immortality, love, memory, and humanity’s place in the universe—a bridge between the ancient world and the far future.

Excerpt

The Wars of the Diadochi flared as the former generals of the Macedonian army understood that there would be no going back to a single state, and each of them set about taking a city, an island, or a slice of province from his neighbor. Raiding coastal towns for gold and slaves was also a good way to weaken a rival.

A peltast came out of the last house in the row and spat angrily at his feet. There was nothing to take in this poor old potter’s household, only unsold amphorae, some clay dishes, and a little food. He flung an oil lamp onto a cart of hay in a fit of temper, then stood looking around, deciding where to go. This was the last house on the street. Beyond it the road led out of town along the shore, past the slope of the mountain rising on the right. Should he try the next street, or go back toward the center? Perhaps his fellows had missed something valuable. Unlikely, though. It was hard to hide anything from the practiced eye of a looter. Meanwhile the oil ran slowly out of the lamp onto the cart, and tongues of flame crept through the dry hay.

Very close to the house, in the shadow between the wall and an olive tree, a small figure was hiding. She had spent a long time making her way along the row of rooftops, setting her bare feet carefully on the tiles, afraid of breaking through. At the last house in the row she had jumped down and hit the ground hard. She had clapped a hand over her own mouth to keep from crying out and had lain like that until dark, afraid to move.

Content Warnings: No major content warnings. The book contains some violence and philosophical discussions.

Feedback Wanted: I’d appreciate comments on how natural and idiomatic the English sounds, especially phrases that feel awkward or overly literal. The translation was produced with AI assistance and has gone through several rounds of editing. I’m not looking for plot critique, and the story itself is final.

I can share the full prologue and first chapter privately with interested readers. Please comment or send me a PM if you’d like to take a look.


r/BetaReaders • • 12h ago

80k [Complete][82K][murder mystery thriller] Clear as Crystal

1 Upvotes

Premise: Crystal Law already had a notorious reputation of being a goth biker girl, who smoked behind the school building, romancing new boyfriends all the time, and getting her nudes leaked by her first one.

And then she got arrested for Muder she didn't commit...

For months, Crystal was locked up in prison, as the prehistoric prosecutors and barristers argued over her guilt. Her false guilt was already published far and wide by the media, and her peers, her teachers, the townsfolk - even her own parents believed that she was guilty.

Crystal was eventually found not guilty, but she still left court with doubters, haters, protestors, and nightmares that haunt her sleep every night as the threat of her case being reopened wraps around her neck like a noose about to be tightened.

After just mere months after her release, the drama teacher's own daughter has been shot on stage while performing the school play, and Detective Inspector Willow, furious and humiliated from Crystal's relase, is dedicated to ensuring that her investigation results in Crystal being the culprit.

With the prospect of being arrested for a murder she didn't commit hanging over her head once again, it's up to her to bring the true culrprit to justice, before Inspector Willow gets enough evidence to arrest her once more.

Beta swapping: I'm more than open to beta swapping with fellow thriller writers and fellow YA writers. A sample chapter is avaliable upon DM request.


r/BetaReaders • • 12h ago

Novelette [In Progress][17k][Adult Fantasy] Caged Whispers

1 Upvotes

Hey guys!

I’m looking anyone interested in reading the first 5 chapters of my novel, Caged Whispers. I'm only looking for overall experience as a reader at the moment. My focus is on story development rather than grammar, prose, structure, etc. I need to make sure the story is interesting and makes sense before trying to spruce it up too much!

Here is the blurb:

Mirelle has spent the last year stealing enough coin to buy her coven a way out of Elarith, a city that has wanted witches like them dead their entire lives.
Everything is going according to plan until one of her thefts puts a powerful artifact in her hands, pulsing with a magic she can’t explain.
From that moment on, every choice seems to pull Mirelle further from the one thing she has spent a year fighting for: leaving Elarith.
Instead, she finds herself caught in a web of secrets that only tightens the harder she tries to escape, dragging her deeper into the clutches of the very city she’s desperate to leave behind.

TROPES:

- Found Family
- Multiple POV
- Ride-or-Die
- Multiple Romance subplots
- Slow Burn
- Unrequited Love
- Friends to Lovers
- Sapphic Romance
- Forbidden Magic
- Hidden Powers
- Female Rage
- Political Intrigue
- Dark Secrets

I would also be open to swapping chapters as well! DM me if you’re interested!


r/BetaReaders • • 19h ago

>100k [Complete] [127k] [Fantasy Family Saga] THE BOOKISH HOUNDS

3 Upvotes

Alyss has spent her whole life ignored in the stacks of the Bookish Hound, a bookshop whose hollowed-out tomes carry contraband throughout the drowned city of Kerkenberg. When her father, the famed smuggler, is murdered, Alyss has five days until the funeral to discover who killed him before the city comes after them itself. And all the while, she needs to keep the business running and stop her estranged siblings from killing each other.

In that time, Alyss must out-maneuver the crime lord who owns half the city, buy a fragile peace from the woman who runs the city’s economy, and deal with a cult that collects magical artifacts the way a magpie collects shiny things. 

But the closer she gets to the truth of her father’s death, the more she reckons with what she has to do to keep the family together and resorts to the very same pact that her father made in his youth: an oath to a cosmic entity in return for a single wish. Alyss wishes to be heard, and now her voice carries a weight of compulsion that even her siblings can’t say no to. But every command costs her a bit of her humanity, and the price is starting to look like madness.

CHAPTER ONE

Alyss fled down the narrow, cobblestone street. Around her, leaning tenements formed a giant’s rib cage, their foundations eroded by great floods. Her thoughts flitted past the body, bound to the coroner’s table by scars on its wrists, and danced around the young man following her in the night.  

The wind bit at her face, whipped strong by the sea. Nearly there. Iron walls coated in rust surrounded the brick buildings to protect the structures from the sea’s wrath. Twelve years since it rose above her head. She prayed for twelve more before it did again. 

She bundled her arms close. She should’ve snatched her fur overcoat before she left the Hound; the cool damp had a way of seeping into her bones. A jolt ran up her leg as her boot slammed into a raised portion of the street. It would’ve dislodged a wagon wheel, but she kept her footing. She couldn’t slow for anything, not even to see if someone followed. 

Had Victor heard her by the corpse? He ran as she did, their shadows whipping around corners before they could catch a side-long glimpse of each other. Always a turn ahead, a duck beneath a passing arch, or a skip into a doorway.

It was little trouble to shut the coroner’s mouth; bribes and threats worked best as a duet and Alyss was a fine conductor. She composed a lie. The greatest smuggler this side of the walled city would not meet hell in a slum with slug tar running his veins.

She thought she’d have more time, but her brother reached the corpse just as she slipped out the door. She pressed her ear to it, only long enough to ensure the coroner kept his word.

He did.

Swaying lampposts were loose, glowing weeds, unable to escape the wind’s grip. They nuzzled their lights above the flood lines, just above each building’s first floor. Ahead, a yellow door shone like a beacon. If luck was with her, she’d be gone before her brother even knew she was there. Her black curls, coated with sweat, threatened to burst from the twine that bound them. She smoothed her hands against her dress, then knocked thrice on the door.

“I know you’re awake, you half-brained stoat,” she hissed. “Open up.”

After a long moment filled with the sounds of a heavy-set man lumbering down stairs, the door opened a fraction. Candlelight spilled from the doorway and lit up the craggy face of Bellamy Sweet. Small yellow eyes looked down on her through half-moon spectacles with a silver rim. At first glance, he looked like a tough that would roam the ward with Cuffs, not balance his books, but Sweet was an extraordinary administrator, now exclusively on retainer for the Bookish Hound. His massive frame dripped with a white fur collared robe of fine fabric.

“Devil’s shite, girlie.” She tried to catch her breath, but nothing stopped her lungs from burning or calmed the stitch in her side. His palm smacked against the side of the door. “You’re just like your father, hurrying in all a huff, just to—“

“Cuffs is dead,” she said.

He took in the green of her woolen dress as it deepened from dark forest to a paler sheen in the candlelight, peeked his head out the door, and looked across the street. Breathlessly, Alyss did the same. Her brother was nowhere to be seen.

“Well. You better come in then,” he said, opening the door. “Who else knows?”

“Word was sent to all of us. I got it first.”

He hummed beneath his breath. “How are you taking it?”

She hoped Cuffs’ coal-eyed gaze, as if he studied every sideways glance and twitch of the hand, would depart in death. 

She had been disappointed.

She expected the corpse to elicit something more in her. Some sort of searing pain in her heart. But her father surprised her again. In spite of endless hours squeezed together in that beautiful web of a bookshop, breathing in the pages’ lovely, musty smell and listening to him rant and rave, all while yearning for some sort of affirmation of his affection, she felt a sort of apathy that touched everything from her eyes to her liver.

“Fine,” she lied.

He plucked a half-finished dart from the table, retrieved a slight matchbook from his robe pocket, and lit the smelly thing.

“Why are you here, Alyss?”

“I need the will,” she said. “Quickly now.”

He harrumphed and leaned back, dart dangling precariously between his lips. “Perhaps it’s best you divest, explore the world like Nanette. Or you could start up something of your own. I hear that Plenans are giving out gold to anyone willing to take up on one of their colonies.”

“The will, Bellamy.” S 

He released another puff of smoke, his beady eyes boring a hole into her chest. “I don’t have it,” he said, his shoulders falling. “It’s with the grubbers.”

She swore. Of course the bank had it. Something needed to be done. The Bookish Hound deserved a clean history filled with gorgeous tomes and pages, even if its master didn’t. She would not let it dissolve or crumble: not to the bank’s greed, not to a sullied reputation, and certainly not to her brother’s recklessness. 

“What did it say?”

Sweet winced, the lines on his brow deepening. “Alyss, I don’t know if—“

A heavy fist pounded against the door. “Sweet,” her brother cried from the street. “Open the door!”

“Don’t tell him I’m here,” she pleaded. 

The administrator looked from her to the door, then back again. He growled at her, jowls swinging, but nodded nonetheless. She spun from her chair for the coat closet behind her. With a quick pull, she opened the double doors and slid inside, nestling between sets of fur. Sweet had a penchant for mink.

She peeked through the crack to watch the fat man waddle to the front door, lit dart still in hand. Smoke pulled behind him, folding over on itself before dissipating.

Victor’s fist hit the door again, followed by a louder rattle from his boot heel. The same boot heel that stomped the skulls of three teenage boys just a few weeks prior. 

The door opened, much wider than it had for her, and the pair shared muffled words. When Bellamy shifted, she was just able to catch a glimpse of her brother’s tricorn hat.

“Is she here?”

“Who? My boy, what could have possibly called you here at this hour—“

“Is she here, Bellamy? Don’t play tonight.”

“Is who here, Victor?”

“Alyss, for Kerk’s sake. Alyss!” Victor slammed his fist against the edge of the doorframe.

“Heavens no,” the man said. His hands trembled, barely hidden by his billowy sleeves. “Whatever for?”

Victor swore and pushed past the man down the hallway. His coat, which finished just below his knees, was lined with thick red fur, not as fine as Sweet’s tastes, but expensive enough. It brushed against his neck with a soft crimson, like the marks of a freshly hanged man. 

“Have you heard anything from Cuffs today?” He spoke distractedly as he poked his head around corners and into side rooms. 

Bellamy shook his head. Would he betray her? Open the closet doors? 

Victor stepped past the man. His hands rested on the closet handles; for a split moment, as he pulled, a sliver of light crept in, slicing through a battalion of coats. He’d never harm one of the family, outside of Severin, what brothers didn’t bruise each other up on occasion. But now, with Cuffs gone. If he discovered her, or her intentions—

“I haven’t,” Bellamy said.

Victor let the closet settle. “This shipment he’s been working on the past few weeks; any idea what it is?”

The administrator shook his head again. “Just a pass-along, I think. Some merchant’s son found light-up trinket for his mistress.”

“When was the last time you saw Cuffs?”

“It’s been a few days. He wanted some changes made to the estate.”

“And how was he?”

“Seemed his usual self to me.”

Her brother stopped and took in the bulk of the man. “He cracked. Right on the noggin. Changed the locks, wouldn’t walk down the street without looking over his shoulder.”

Bellamy leaned back in his velvet chair. “Victor, your mother’s illness is not one that can be—“

“My father is dead.” His voice wavered on the word, not believing it himself. “Not mad. Dead.”

Bellamy played his part well. He leaned forward and put out his dart before removing his half-moon spectacles and wiping them against his robe. “Are you sure, m’boy?”

“I just saw the body.” The administrator reached for Victor’s shoulder, but her brother shrugged it off. “Swear to me you haven’t seen Alyss tonight.”

“I swear,” the man said.

Victor nodded then ran his tongue along his teeth. “The coroner, do you know what he told me? He said that Cuffs died of autumn fever. Just plopped down at a bench in the park and keeled over. Like some old man.” 

“And you doubt the man’s honesty?”

“I do.”

“Well, there are no bounds to those who wanted him dead. Throw a stone in Kerkenberg and you’ll find someone who’ll stab the man and someone who’d love him.” The solicitor relit his dart. “Do I need to burn the ledgers, then?”

Her brother shook his head. “The will. Who gets the Hound? And the holdings?”

“No idea. Your father made some changes then made me send them to the bank for approval. He didn’t let me see the details.”

“Why would it need approval?”

“Six children and a sick wife makes it a touch difficult,” he snapped. 

“And the Bookish Hound? You can’t split a building six ways.”

“They could make you sell it.”

He laughed. “Not a chance. When will we find out?”

“Three days at most. They’ll wait to release it until Severin comes back.”

“He’s coming back?”

“Well, the courier reached out to all of you in the city with the news,” he sputtered. “They’ll get word to his ship within the hour; the speed of those ratbirds never fails to amaze.”

Alyss groaned. He wasn’t supposed to know that. Luckily, Victor brushed right on by, eager to return home after a long night. As well he should, there were deliveries in the morning and she would be damned if the work stopped at any time, even in the wake of a tragedy such as this. It was exactly what her father was against; the work continued regardless.

“Let me know,” her brother replied, taking his leave from the velvet seat. the boy was too dull to catch a slip like that; it was precisely why Cuffs would never leave the Hound to someone like him. “Keep your head low in the meantime. I’d hate for the Four-Finger Boys to poke around here.”

“I appreciate the concern.”

Her brother departed to the sound of soft footsteps and a pistol falling lightly against his chest. Bellamy deflated into his seat. Happy to free herself from the prison of mink, Alyss unfolded from the closet. The administrator looked to her as if he forgot she was hiding there and had another puff of his dart.

“Thank you,” she said.

He nodded his reply while staring right past her into his own reflection in the window. He looked like a melted wax candle, seeping into the crevices of the chair, the dart a burning wick in his mouth.

“Just talk to each other, for Kerk’s sake. None of this is worth it.”

She shook her head. “Let me know about the will, won’t you?”

“Cuffs is dead,” he muttered to himself, then coughed up a bit of smoke. “Cuffs is dead.”

“Bellamy?”

He looked to her, confused, then a look of fury flashed across his face.

“I’ll let you all know at once, how about that? A bloody chorus right to the Hound! I’m not the set for your ridiculous play. Get out of my house,” he said as he raised a weary hand to his temple. He coughed again, then shook his head. “Cuffs is dead.”

He sounded weary, mournful even.

Alyss scowled, then made for the door, but before she could swing it open, he stopped her with a final question.

“How did he die, Alyss?”

“Autumn fever,” she lied.

“I don’t believe you.”

The door swung open, letting in the cool sea air. The lamps in the street were nearly dead now, a slight blossom of light radiating from their spire.

“Did you kill him?”

“I didn’t,” she said as she stepped out into Canticle Dell. “I swear.”


r/BetaReaders • • 17h ago

90k [Complete] [90k] [Upmarket Fiction] LES PETITS RATS

2 Upvotes

Hello! I am finishing a novel about the last ballet theater in New York City, set in a world that has begun to favor technology over fine art.

I'm looking for someone with professional ballet experience who'd be willing to check the book for dance-related inaccuracies and blindspots.

If you're interested, please DM me with information about your dance experience.

Thank you!


r/BetaReaders • • 15h ago

>100k [Complete] [118K] [NA Queer Gothic Romantasy] Dark Creatures

1 Upvotes

Hello! I'm looking for a few beta readers for my completed novel. With my current readers, I've received conflicting feedback that ranges from positive to mixed, which led me to make changes. I'd love to get fresh eyes on my updated first act, so I can gauge how it's received. Ideally, I’d like romantasy readers for this, but I’m open to anyone.  

For reference, it's queer, it's angsty and morally gray, and has gothic horror elements. I can provide content warnings if needed. And I'm happy to swap! Please send me a DM if interested.

Here's my pitch: 

After enduring years of ostracization, nineteen-year-old Leon seizes his opportunity to finally leave his remote village. But his journey goes horribly wrong when he’s attacked by a werewolf, infecting him with the lycanthropic curse. Seeking help, Leon stumbles upon a countryside manor, where he’s saved by the charming owner, Lord Felix Everly.

Leon and Felix share an undeniable attraction, but Felix’s secretive nature and dark past complicate their growing relationship. Meanwhile, a vicious killer runs rampant in the city streets, carving a blood-soaked path that leads investigators right to Felix’s doorstep. Torn between his love for Felix and his desire to do what’s right, Leon must choose whether he will condemn Felix or protect him, embracing the monster he’s become.   


r/BetaReaders • • 16h ago

>100k [Complete] [220k] [Post Apocalyptic] [By Any Means Necessary]

1 Upvotes

By Any Means Necessary follows five sixth-form students left behind at a British boarding school when a fast moving rabies like infection tears through the country and the whole world.
What starts as trying to survive the first few days turns into something much bigger as they begin rescuing other students, securing part of the school and building a community out of what’s left. The safer Hawthorn becomes, the more responsibility falls on the five of them and they have to make decisions no teenagers should be making while also dealing with their own traumas.
It’s a slow burn survival story with a large cast, found family elements, settlement building, infected, violence and some pretty dark moral choices later on.

Im looking for reader-level feedback rather than line edits. I’d like to know where you were most engaged, where the pacing dragged, which characters you connected with, whether the quieter settlement building sections work and whether anything was confusing.

The content warning for this id say is violence, death, infection, strong language and grief.

Timeline wise there’s not really a hard deadline. I’d rather someone take their time and finish it properly than rush through it.


r/BetaReaders • • 17h ago

>100k [Complete] [111k] [Historical Fiction] ȚEPEȘ: VLAD III DRACULA

1 Upvotes

Title: ȚEPEȘ: VLAD III DRACULA

Series: The Frontier Warlords (Book 1 of 3)

Genre: Visceral Historical Fiction / Grimdark / Military History / Gothic Atmosphere

Format: First 10 Pages (~3,000 words)

Target Audience: Readers who appreciate dark, immersive historical fiction layered with psychological depth, political tension, and tactical realism.

---

WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR:

I am preparing this manuscript for representation and seeking critique on:

* The Opening Hook & First Chapter: Do the opening pages immediately pull you in and hold your interest?

* Language & Period Lexicon: How naturally does the prose and historical terminology flow for a native English speaker?

* Atmosphere & Pacing: Does the tone feel properly dark, grounded, and engaging without slowing down?

* Overall Impression: Would you keep reading after the first chapter/few pages?

---

CRITIQUE SWAP

Currently not available for a full manuscript swap, but happy to read a short sample (first chapter or ~3,000 words) of your Historical Fiction, Grimdark, or Fantasy in return!

Content Warnings: Period-typical violence, grimdark themes, psychological trauma, medieval warfare.

If you are interested in reading the opening sample and sharing your thoughts, please leave a comment below or send me a DM!


r/BetaReaders • • 22h ago

>100k [Complete][105k][Sword & Sorcery][Forsaken Son]

2 Upvotes

Prince Niall is the presumptive heir to the throne of Muirgard, a small island kingdom in the stormy and blood soaked waters of the Emerald Sea. On the day he is to officially be named the crown prince, tragedy and conspiracy strike, leading to the arrest of both the prince, and his beloved foster father. Forced to watch the man he loves most in this world die for a crime he did not commit, and exiled from the shores of his home, Prince Niall is left with nothing but a leaky rowboat and an oath to one day return with war. Before his quest for vengeance can even begin however, he is swept up in a conflict on foreign shores and with foreign gods he has no time nor interest in entertaining. Will he be able to settle a holy war centuries in the making and return to his own path?

Perfect for fans of Robert E. Howard, Fritz Lieber and Christopher Buehlman, "Forsaken Son" harkens back to classic Sword & Sorcery, taking place in a unique Norse/Celtic inspired maritime setting. Mad Gods, scheming witches, warrior maidens and plenty of action, what more could you ask? (Content warning: Graphic violence and mentions of/implied (non graphic) sexual violence)

Looking for general critiques on voice, pacing, plot, consistency and anything else you might notice needs improvement. No emphasis on spelling and grammar required, but feel free if that's your thing, I am aware it needs work and will be on it.

DM for the link

I am available and willing to swap manuscripts and provide my own feedback.

Excerpt-

The crew turned to see for themselves, their hearts gripped by terror when they saw that the sailor had spoken true. In the distance, closing in fast, a wide blackish tail slapped down into the water, propelling the monster forward at a frightening pace, its trio of dorsal fins slicing through the water like the teeth of a carpenter’s saw coming to split their vessel in two. 
“Take aim, and pray to the Deep Hunter your spears fly true.” Ordered Cormac.
“Bah! Do not bother the gods with trifles, for they have no stake in your affairs. If your eye or arm fail you this day, it is you who pay the price, your loved ones who suffer, not they. Aim true, throw strong, earn your right to draw breath! Here she comes men, now kill!!!” Prince Niall stood at the center of the crowd, and watched as a rain of hurled spears and toothy harpoons was unleashed. 
The missiles streaked through the morning air, most landing harmlessly in the water to either side of the beast. Others however, struck true, but were deflected by the hardened plates of the creature's natural boney armor. A few, though, managed to strike the soft flesh between the plates and drive themselves deep into the monster, causing it to slow, but not stop, its advance. The demon's maw was open wide, a chasm of razor teeth and blood stained flesh, the very gates of hell itself. Though its approach had slowed, it would crash into them in moments with enough force to shatter their hull and send all of the men to the halls of the Nine on the currents of Dromor. 
Seeing no other options available that did not end in the doom of himself and all his crew, Niall gripped his weapon in both hands, his knuckles white from terror and excitement. 
“Cormac, my dearest mentor. Should I fail, tell my mother I preferred an uncertain death to a certain one.”
“What the hell do you mean boy?”
But the prince could not hear him, for as the harbinger of doom approached  blood trailing behind it from the wounds around its head, spears still lodged firm, Niall hopped up onto the side of the ship, graceful as a stag, and pushed himself forward in a dive that would drive an osprey to envy, harpoon held firm in an iron grip as he soared right down the gullet of the beast.
“Niall!!!” Cormac roared for the boy he had practically raised, horrified to see him seemingly throw his life away in an act of unfathomable carelessness. But in the deeper reaches of his heart, where the old warrior spirit in him still burned bright, he was in awe, awash in a tidal wave of pride at witnessing such bravery in the face of death. 
The men braced themselves for impact, huddling down and grabbing on to anything they thought might save them from sinking to the depths once the ship was split in twain. They prayed that if death did find them, it would be peaceful, with lungs full of salt water, and not in the jaws of the beast. But when the impact arrived, and they were thrown down and back, bones rattled and heads sore from collision, they were astonished to see upon recovery, that while a crack had been made through which sea water leaked and would have them bailing the whole trip home, the ship had held firm. 
“By Rónas blubbery teats, we’re alive!” Crowed one of the grateful survivors nearest the leak, kneeling in a puddle of bilge. 
“The prince! Where’s Niall!” Cried another who had been closest to the young man. 
Everyone stood and looked over the side, eyes bulged and jaws hung slack as they looked upon the floating corpse of the hell maw. Blood flowed from the creature's still gaping jaws as it rolled gently to its side in the surf, its once shining obsidian eyes now dull and lifeless. 
“Where is he! Did he drown?”
“Drown? The boy's damn near half wolf seal, I taught him myself. It’s the beast that killed him. Likely bit him in half and swallowed him down before he struck our ship.” Cormac barked, fighting back tears for the loss of his foster son.  
“Captain, look!” Someone shouted, and when Cormac turned his eyes back on the monster, he was astonished to see a sliver of iron gray poking out of its belly, wiggling back and forth. 
“He lives! Mother of Seals, my boy lives! Don’t just stand there you damned fools, drag the beast closer, he’s stuck in there!”
The men set about carefully spearing the furthest parts of the shark from the stomach and pulling it in closer to the ship, tying the tail and the head to the hull with the belly up to allow for easy access. Cormac drew a knife from his belt sheath and began making a slit in the creature's abdomen as deep as he dare, careful to avoid stabbing his prince while working to free him as quickly as possible before he suffocated, drowned or bled to death. Soon, a long gash was cut down the center of the beast, and like a second birth from a gory womb- 
Niall took his first sharp inhale of sweet, fresh air in minutes before berating his rescuers. “Stone footed bastards! How long did you think to leave your prince in that reeking flesh coffin!”


r/BetaReaders • • 19h ago

>100k [Complete] [123k] [Adult Fantasy Romance] Legacy League 🏟️ - Sports Fantasy with Soul Bonds

1 Upvotes

A disgraced champion. A magic team sport. 8 pairs competing under the spotlight. And a reputation she can't outrun.

X has been branded the Destroyer, and the world hasn't forgotten. With her family depending on her and her future hanging in the balance, she re-enters Legacy League: a high-profile tournament where champions compete through games of ala-bala ⚽️ - facing vicious, clever rivals, risky strategies, and the unrelenting pressure of the public.

But reclaiming her name means confronting the past she's been running from - and navigating her complex bond with Kharo: the one she needs to win, but who may also be the reason she loses.

Legacy League is an adult sports fantasy featuring competitive tournament arcs, soul bonds, romance, fierce rivalries, and fantasy celebrity culture.

🐅🐉Looking for those who enjoy:

  • Competitive fantasy and sports-anime style rivalries (Blue Lock x Hunger Games - no

💀

  • matches)
  • Character-driven stories and redemption arcs
  • Complex relationships and soul bonds
  • Fame/media satire
  • African-inspired fantasy elements

    🇿🇦

💬 Looking for: Your overall thoughts. There'll be an optional questionnaire for anyone who wants to give more specific feedback.

⏳Reading window: About 6 weeks, flexible

⚠️Content warnings: Some mature/explicit content (with the option to skip specific scenes.) Full content notes available

✨Swaps: Open to discussing.

💎 If interested: I'm happy to share the opening chapter before you commit so you can decie whether the story is for you.

📚 Excerpt:

Today marks the start of the 333rd Legacy League Tournament. The League Organisation promises a satisfying set of champion pairs this year, to be revealed this evening.
- X News

*Just one more. I've got this. I've--*Bah!

Her body thrashed into the stadium grounds, sending her rolling through the muddied grass. She finally stopped moving, the ringing in her ears mingling with the roaring of the crowd. Her tongue was raw from all the singing had done under her breath.

Towering above her was the one who did it. She thought she must've been too dizzy, but it was his voice speaking to their opponent in a remorseful tone. It was he who stopped her.

"I'm sorry, Yejo. I shouldn't have let her on my team. If I'd known she was going to go so far as to try to cripple you...I thought it was just rumors about her and..."

"Did you hear that?" someone in the crowd asked.

"I knew it!" another shouted.

She gasped for breath. Everything was getting louder, grating at her ears. If I could just get up.

"Destroyer!" someone shouted, but she couldn't tell if the voice was in the crowd or beside her.

Everything was blurry.

"Destroyer!" another roared.

She tried to open her cracked lips, bleeding and caked with dirt, but nothing could come out. She sucked in air, trying to utter anything. Her watery gaze drifted to him as the crowd chanted on, "Destroyer!"

Her breathing grew shallow, and she could only see the silhouettes before her. But she knew who she was looking at. She whispered, "why?" before everything turned black.

*

"X? X? X?!"

X snapped out of the memory, seeing the tournament doors in front of her as the sounds of her old song instantly faded. Her nails dug into her sides. She snapped her head around as if expecting to see that champion she was paired with last time. But he was long gone. And she returned.

She couldn't believe she was back at the Legacy League Tournament. The last time she saw these doors...

"X."

She turned to the guide, Andréon. A short, impish man with baby cheeks and round glasses. He had a rather adorable but serious look to him and tapped his glowing cane impatiently.

She smiled. At least he was one of her fonder memories from last time.

"Your bonded mate--"

"Kharo," she said quickly, clearing her throat.

"Yes, yes, yes," Andréon waved his hand.

"Where is he? Is he late? Is he still showing up?"

As if I'd know. But it's not like X could say that. She took a long pause trying to think up something. Andréon tilted his glasses and tapped his cane repeatedly.

X emptied out a suppressed sigh, then said, "He's..."

"He's here!" Andréon clapped his hands excitedly and waddled over to greet him.

X felt her heart spike. Sensing eyes on her, she turned to Kharo and they stared quietly.

"Weren't you two supposed to be traveling together?"

Kharo looked to X to answer for him, but what could she say? She also didn't know why they didn't travel together. Nor did she care for any excuse he had. She softly mimicked his usual line in unison as he replied, "I just had some last-minute things."

It was always some variation of those words. X tried not to reveal her displeasure as Andréon glanced over.

"I see," he said, studying them. "Let's get going. Haste, haste. Step onto the soul-bonding podium."


r/BetaReaders • • 20h ago

Short Story [IN PROGRESS] [2.5k] [F1 Rpf - magical realism] obra en español

1 Upvotes

Hola! Esta es una historia corta, es un Formula 1 real people fiction del género realismo mágico, Max verstappen/Oscar piastri, centrado en Max verstappen

Está en español por lo cual si podes leer en español sin importar de dónde seas, está todo bien!

Si a alguien le interesa me puede hablar a dms, gracias!!


r/BetaReaders • • 22h ago

80k [Complete] [80,000] [sapphic folk horror/psychological horrormance] The Hollow Keeps Its Own

1 Upvotes

Hi there! I'm looking for a few more beta readers for my completed work. I've had both ends of the spectrum with my current readers ranging from "it's perfect, dont change a thing," to "rewrite the whole thing because it sucks."

Any feedback is welcome. Tell me if it sucks so I dont embarrass myself haha.

It is queer.

It is weird.

It is an unreliable narrator.

There are content warnings listed in the document.

Happy to swap!

Edited to add a quick pitch:

Hettamiah Topher wants to be with her best friend so badly that she's willing to give up her own life to have her.

Hettie is from the ancient forests of the Appalachian mountains. When she falls head over heels for her life-long best friend, Genie, she can’t decide whether she wants her, or wants to be her. Unfortunately, Genie is already in love with her boyfriend, Judson, but that doesn’t stop him from bringing Hettie into their bedroom. When Genie rejects her, Hettie handles it the only way she knows how – isolation. Deep in a collapsed mine, Hettie finds comfort in solitude away from nosey neighbors. When Hettie can’t get her obsession with Genie under control, she begins to feel like the old mine, and what creatures she encounters in it, is the only place she can be herself.


r/BetaReaders • • 22h ago

Novella [Complete] [22k] [Literary Fiction] Gray Matter — a quiet semester, a girl, a story that goes wrong

0 Upvotes

A 19-year-old in an unnamed city. He notices a girl. A semester passes.

First-person, short sentences. The kind of book where nothing explodes but something breaks.

Looking for one reader. Honest reactions only — where you stopped, what stayed.

DM if interested.


r/BetaReaders • • 1d ago

70k [Complete][71K][YA / literary fiction] Carbocations

3 Upvotes

Blurb:

“We were so careful. We were so kind. We stood at the bottom and called, in nice voices, and said we’d wait. ... We should have climbed.”

Marisa, Lauren, Addison and Ruby join a Bay Area high school chemistry lab hoping to prove they’re good at something. It’s the kind of program that makes college applications shine, run by an advisor, Dr. Nolan, who is young, charming and generous with his time. He treats them like real scientists. For a long time, that is all they notice.

Then one of them starts getting private messages from him, late at night, with a request to keep them between the two of them. When the others find out, they realize that telling an adult means risking everything the lab has given them: the letters of recommendation, the published papers, the places on the author list, and the belief that someone powerful thinks they’re special. He holds all of it, and he knows it.

In a world where the people with the most power also write the references, the girls keep the secret and tell themselves they’re being loyal. Each month there’s a reason to wait. Each reason is true.

Carbocations follows four girls across two school years, acting as a reflection of modern academic pressures and institutional flaws.

Excerpt:

The flowers outside the chem building stayed there for eleven days before anyone took them down. I know because I counted. I walked past them every morning on my way in, and I'd have told you I wasn't the kind of person who counts things like that. (I was exactly that kind of person.)

People say grief gets organized eventually, that one day you look back and see a clear structure, or pieces falling into place. Two years later, what I had was mostly a pile. A black dress my mom bought in a hurry. Her hand squeezing mine too hard at a reception with paper plates of macaroni salad. And, for some reason, a gym stage from when I was thirteen, with the lights aimed straight into my eyes. I didn't know anything then.

[...]

I learned to distrust the version of this story where I did, the one where an ordinary Tuesday turns into a warning, because it lets you believe there was a door somewhere you could have walked through if you'd only paid attention. I looked for that door for two years. There wasn't one. There was a long hallway of regular days, and at the end of it something happened anyway.

Content warnings (this has spoilers, but I thought it better to be thorough):

TLDR; teen suicide (not described graphically), child abuse/grooming (also nothing graphic), family death, mild romance (no explicit scenes).

Heads up, this one is heavy. The book ends with the suicide of a teenage main character. It happens off the page, with no method or note shown, and the last stretch is about the people left behind. Before that, an adult mentor grooms and emotionally manipulates one of the girls. Nothing is explicit, but there are inappropriate private messages and a leak of them at school. There's also a data-reporting problem in the lab, a panic attack, a grandparent's death, and a lot of perfectionism and academic pressure. All the characters are between 14 and 18. There's one first kiss between two girls and no sex scenes. I put a short note with crisis resources (988) at the end.

What I'd like from you !!

Mostly, I want to know how it reads. Did you want to keep going, and how did the ending land? In a story involving suicide, I want to ensure it’s not something I’m glamorizing and I am portraying things accurately. This is only based on the experiences of a few people and my perception of them, so feedback regarding the former is greatly appreciated. Beyond this: a few things I'm especially unsure about:

(1) Whether the middle drags, especially the lab and school details in Parts Two and Three.

(2) Whether the group's reasons for waiting seem believable. Each time they put it off it makes sense to them, but I'm worried it eventually reads as frustrating. I don’t want readers to end up hating my characters, but rather acknowledging that they might have done the same.

(3) Whether the four narrators sound different enough from each other.

(4) If you've worked in a lab or research program, whether the setting feels right. (Albeit, this is a unique one even for the academics out there.)

(5) Overall prose — I’ve been told in the past that I “write like AI” or that my dialogue/more emotional scenes oftentimes feel stilted and unrealistic. I have tried to avoid doing this, but I’d love to be informed of places where I was unsuccessful in doing so. This topic is truly very important to me, and I hope that readers can feel for the characters and their circumstances, prose nonwithstanding.

Timeline:

I'm hoping for about 4-6 weeks. There are five parts, so it's fine to send notes as you go. Even a quick "this is working / this isn't" after Part One would help a lot.

Swap:

Yes, I'd love to swap !! I read YA, contemporary and literary up to about 90k, and I'd rather skip anything sexual or erotic. I can usually turn one around in 4-6 weeks assuming all goes smoothly.


r/BetaReaders • • 1d ago

>100k [Complete] [135k] [Literary/historical(-ish)] - still figuring out the title. Story about a mixed-race British soldier serving in Belfast during the Troubles.

1 Upvotes

Hello,

I'm hoping to find a few beta readers (not necessarily for the whole thing if this is too long for you), preferably for swaps as I greatly prefer swaps rather than a one-sided deal (see below).

The story follows a mixed-race British soldier during two time periods, beginning with his first tour of duty - Belfast in 1972, the bloodiest year of the Troubles - and the unlikely friendship he strikes up with a local. As well as the outright violence of the conflict he also has to navigate everyday and systemic racism, the contradictions and murky truths and twisted politics of NI, his friend's dark and brutal life and ultimately the consequences of his own decisions.

Themes: warfare, psychological violence, masculinity, identity, systemic racism, anti-colonialism, religion, family

Content warnings: a lot of racism, sexism, homophobia - this is the 1970s/80s after all - violence, a few deaths (including of children), combat PTSD, brief mentions of sexual assault, self-harm and suicide. Nothing very graphic or gory. It's not unremittingly brutal but it does get pretty dark in places. Please let me know if there are any specific things you might need to know about with regard to content warnings.

In an ideal world, a beta reader would have armed forces experience, especially British army but any is fine, and/or be from Ireland, especially the north, and/or maybe have a bit of basic medical experience, e.g. wound treatment (but like i say there's nothing graphic) - but no worries if not. I don't think you actually need much prior knowledge of the Troubles or NI to get what's going on but if you have, especially if you're from here and around 50+, I'd definitely like to know your thoughts on it, e.g. on cultural references, social attitudes, descriptions, realism etc.

Feedback I'm hoping for:

Firstly OK I know it's far too long 😅 It's a deliberately slow-burn, character-focused story mostly about interpersonal relationships and psychological violence - but yeah, I really want to get the pesky word-count down a fair bit. Any advice there would be greatly appreciated. I'd definitely like to know where your attention wanders, if you get bored and decide not to continue reading, if you do continue reading but it's a slog, anything you think actually really needs to be deleted or amended or whatever.

I would really, really like people with specialist knowledge (especially, as I mentioned, current and former members of the armed forces) to have a look and tell me if I've done an OK job with the procedural stuff and realism etc or nah. Reading a load of history, memoirs and military law books is fine but it's no substitute for firsthand experience and I'm absolutely certain there are still some mistakes so anything you notice and/or if it's cringe, please tell me :(

I'm keen not to portray any organisation or community negatively or preferentially, only individuals and their reasons for behaving the way they do, so I'd also like to know how far I've succeeded there.

Not really looking for line edits - unless there's something really egregious of course - more an overall impression of the story itself, whether you like/care about the characters, if their motives make sense (especially towards the end), your theories on what was going on with specific characters, why so-and-so did what, if it's believable overall etc.

Bear in mind there's a few dialects used (not to the point of unreadability, at least I hope not) so there's no need to correct things like "I've went" or "it were" etc.

And finally: is it actually any good? Beta readers so far have almost all said yes but I'm inclined to think it's not good enough to be published and I really want to get it to that point.

There's an extensive glossary at the beginning and it'd be useful to know if readers who have little to no knowledge of the conflict or the history of this part of the world are able to understand what's going on by context and if you enjoy it.

With regard to critique swaps: definitely! Similar-ish genres/word-counts please and I'll read most things but I'm not keen on sci-fi or fantasy, I can't handle body-horror and I'm too old for YA or children's. Prefer literary and written in the past-tense and if it's historical then I prefer meticulous historical accuracy. Also not keen on romance as a genre - romance side plots are fine although bear in mind I'll skip any explicit sex scenes.

Please, no AI, either in writing or feedback.

Do let me know if you're interested, either here or via DM. I'd prefer to do a swap for the first few pages first to see if we're a good match before committing to the whole lot. Cheers! :)