Hi, I became a godmother a few months ago (❤️), and a few weeks after he was born we learned that he is very hard of hearing. He can technically hear, but very little, though it seems right now like he’ll be able to use hearing devices to hear when he's a little older, and will most likely be able to learn english and go to a mainstream school. However, even though he could technically be fine with hearing devices and learning just english, and despite most hearing parents in the past would have geared more towards pulling their child away from the deaf community and such, his parents (ie my best friend and her husband) have learned more about deafness and the HOH/deaf community and have decided that they want him to also be connected to this community and they explained to me how and why it is important for him to be fluent in ASL. And with that, why it's important for them to learn ASL too and make it a regular part of their home life, and I totally agree with their reasoning. Sorry I don't know if I phrased that right, but basically they're both now doing intensive ASL courses, and have hired a babysitter who is a CODA and signs with him, and as his godmother I will be possibly the closest adult to him in his life outside of his parents, so I’ve decided I want to learn ASL too because if it ends up being the language he feels most comfortable communicating in, I want to be able to be there for him and be a source of comfort and support thru his life. Idk I just had this sad dream a few weeks ago of him as an older child signing in ASL a poem he wrote or something he's feeling to me, and me not understanding him, and I refuse to let that be the case!
Since he's still so young though, and the family hasn't had much chance to connect with any deaf resources or community yet, the way I have been learning so far is I took an intro course at the local college this summer and am now doing weekly lessons online, as I sadly don't have the time or resources to do the intense course like my friends. So outside of my class I have not really spoken or interacted with anyone deaf before or spoken ASL to anyone. I hope that as baby boy gets older and his parents and I also become a little more confident in our ASL that he’ll be able to connect with other kids and families in similar positions and hopefully I’ll also then get more opportunities to sign in real life, but I also need to get to a better level first.
My question is basically about facial expressions while signing, because that is something that was pointed out to me as something I very much lack while signing. I’m from a culture and family that is incredibly unexpressive, to the point where it is regularly pointed out to me how my face, voice, tone etc are all quite monotone, and even when I’m super excited there's little happening on my face. So because it feels very unnatural for me to even so much as raise my eyebrows or crack a slight smile when talking or signing, and my worry is that if someone like my godson witnesses me be pretty dry and flat when speaking English, but then switch over into these more exaggerated expressions - I feel like I look unnatural and like I’m mocking, or like I’m an actor in a stage play. Is there a way to practice specifically finding a level and type of facial expressiveness that feels natural to you?
I’m also curious if the facial expressiveness when signing is something teen ASL speakers feel self-conscious or embarrassed by? I just was thinking about how when I was a teen, literally anything I did in public that wasn't completely ordinary made me feel soooo embarrassed, and I can imagine feeling an increased pressure in teen years to not express as much unless in a setting where everyone is signing because most people don't talk with that same expressiveness. Like, will my godson go through a phase in his teens where he tones his ASL down? Should I mirror his level if that happens or keep going at whatever level I would normally do? (hopefully I'll have figured the facial expressions out in 13 years time haha)
I’m sorry if these questions are insensitive, I’m still very new to sign languages in general and have learned that I have a lot of internalized ableism and just general miseducation or lack of education about deafness and just disability in general. It really has opened up this whole new world for me that I didn't really consider before, and I’m determined to become well-versed enough so I can advocate for my godson and other kids like him in the future too. In that regard, if anything I have said here is out of line or just incorrect, I would be very happy to hear what it is I did wrong and what to do or say instead! Thank you very much for your help!