Whenever there’s an activity you really want to do, it would take you days to months to start it, even if you are well rested, have no anxiety of the outcome, and have all the time and resources to do so. When you want to start it, you have to sneak in a few minutes to do the thing and even that feels excruciating. Once you do this, you either postpone again or gain momentum to do the activity normally

Sometimes it could take you months to start watching a new anime so you end up watching something you’re done with, no matter how much you’re sick and tired of it, all because you can’t switch.

Sometimes there’s this show you really want to watch, but you can only watch a few minutes of it every few days because you feel a great resistance to it and end up finishing half a 24 min episode in 2-3 weeks.

There is this game you really like for its interesting environment design and music. You really love it and can’t wait to get into it. You then feel immense resistance to start it so you end up playing a few mins of it every year so you can end up spending 6-7 years without knowing much about the story, despite respecting the game.

You are also into statistics since december 2025 and you get posts from r/statistics and r/askstatistics daily. You’re exposed to advanced concepts and they excite you. You have many statistics books lying around. You are excited to know how statistical methods accurately measure reality and this subject makes you happy. It’s already oct 2026 and you are still on distribution shapes in intro to statistics because you struggle initiating studying it.

You can’t start anything that interests you, even if you aren’t anxious of failing and have a lot of time. You just want to start but can’t.

One day as an adult, you got sick and tired of being like this as it’s destroying the quality of your life already. You then trained your body that the moment it likes something, it should grab at it immediately whenever possible. It was physically painful at first but now you mastered starting any hobby you like to do with ease. You don’t have to sit through red tape anymore.

Do lots of people have to go through such hassle just to start any hobby they’re interested in?

Is there a way that I could receive completely anonymous therapy? Maybe online or something? I can’t get anything on my record because of my job. Just talk therapy, I’d ask friends but I want real solutions from an actual professional. I feel like an idiot, a true failure and I’m so so so awkward. I’d be willing to pay as long as it’s not too expensive, I’m not rich by any means.

I was thinking about some traits I have and I was researching into quiet bpd and had all the symptoms but I saw some posts describing their experience and it didn't seem to match me theirs seemed more extreme.

what sticks out to me is that I can go from not really liking someone (and sometimes even being irritated at them) to possibly being infatuated by them.

a couple times when I felt challenged by my friend on a heated topic instead of having a normal debate I felt angry and cold and distant from him and didn't want to speak to him and even one time when we had a discussion about it I resorted to being unserious and obnoxious almost as a defense and also often with some of my friends if they are doing something like maybe joking around I just get annoyed and think oh my god shut up you're not funny

I can often be quite prone to cutting off friends and also ending relationships early often when they feel like too much

sometimes the general vibe of a circumstance can have a negative impact on me like even if something isn't the end of the world if like 1 or 2 aspects of something are bad my brain will exaggerate it and make it feel like I'm in a really shitty environment (worth noting I can also feel quite miserable easily)

when a negative or uncomfortable thing happens before proceeding with someone it can ruin my experience with it and put me off doing it like if someone is rude to me or makes me feel a bit embarrassed before proceeding with someone it takes a bit to get back to it

I really don't like being insulted like I take it too seriously than most people even when I know they're joking

When I was in a school and college environment I felt like all the authority figures had an unnecessarily brooding presence to them and felt unsafe and almost like they were always on me even when they weren't. And sometimes I'll have life circumstances or will have a day of being somewhere or doing something that is fine for most people but will leave me with a bad taste in my mouth and a terrible almost visceral feeling.

I view songs more profoundly than most people and digest them in what I feel is a different way to a lot of people. Same with locations I find every location I go to nostalgic and comforting and whatnot when everyone finds them to be just normal.

I'm pretty bad at describing things especially how I feel lol so apologies if maybe none of this make sense.

So if you're wondering what I mean by "character" for going to school, let me explain. I've always had these obsessions with specific topics that last a few weeks, months, even years sometimes, and then I just lose interest. But it's not just liking something and then dropping it—it's more like you get so into this new thing you just discovered that you ditch all your other interests and only focus on that, or you do nothing all day but consume stuff about it. And how does that tie into my question?

A couple months ago, I found myself thinking about "creating a character" for school, basically to become someone I really admire and whose content I like. The idea was to be all stoic, make satire about politics (or get better at understanding it along the way), control my body language, adopt a more "sophisticated" way of talking, rage-bait my friends or classmates so it seemed like I was dead serious, throw them off with absurd stuff I'd say with a straight face, etc. And I've kinda pulled it off.

But I also feel like the idea was more about "looking cool" or something like that—I'm not explaining it great, but the point was that when I "broke character," whoever was with me would see that I was never actually like that, and it was all just a persona or whatever. Sounds weird, but in my head it was supposed to work.

Now I just wanna know if that's like "normal" or if it's just a dumb thing to do. Also, I'm already seeing a therapist for other stuff, and I'm not really comfortable bringing this up because I feel like it'd sound way too weird.

This was condensed from a much longer journal entry with help, but the thoughts and feelings are my own.

I’m a software engineer with diagnosed ADHD, and I’m on medication. For the past three months I’ve been in therapy for ADHD, compulsive porn use, and recurring taboo sexual fantasies that I’ve been fighting for over five years. Most of my adhd symptoms are now well managed that atleast my work doesn't suffer anymore as often as it used to before but my issues regarding compulsive porn use seems to be not resolving.

My therapist has genuinely helped me. I carry far less shame than before, and my relationship with my mother is much better. I know she cares about me.

Lately, though, I’ve felt dismissed. I struggled to keep up with her homework, and when we discussed my relapses, she told me, “Sometimes not everything is clinical, it’s just laziness.” I don’t choose to relapse. A weak moment arrives, I tell myself I’ll just peek, and it spirals. If deciding not to were enough, I wouldn’t need therapy.

She’s also against blockers and between-session check-ins, because she wants me to become self-reliant. I understand that as a long-term goal, but right now I need outside structure.

I’m honest about where I am lazy. I avoid exercise because I hate it, and that’s a choice. Forgetting my medication isn’t. The thought simply never arrives.

When I told her I was considering a specialist, since I’m her first client with this kind of issue(uncontrollable sexual behaviors), she said I was free to go but went on to remind me that she charges me less and lets sessions run over etc. I left feeling guilty for even asking.

For anyone who has been through this: How do you tell the difference between ADHD and laziness in yourself? And did external accountability help you?

For therapists: Is calling a compulsive relapse “laziness” ever helpful? And is it reasonable for me to look for a specialist who has helped someone with my specific issues before?

No bottom text. That’s all.

I am a young woman, about 19, and I know that at my age, there is a lot of moodiness and chemicals firing all the time, so I'm hesitant to call this anything, but in spite of my menstrual cycle and a lot of other factors, I have major mood swings almost all the time.

I get angry over small things and have to take a walk or tell someone to leave me alone so I don't yell at them, I cry over small things I should be able to do no problem, I get super happy over things that hardly matter, and there's seemingly no rhyme or reason to this besides how competent or incompetent I feel.

I have suspected I'm neurodivergent for years, and my friends confirm there's probably something up. They suggested autism, but half the symptoms don't apply to me, and I've been kind of side-eyeing the idea I may have Bipolar disorder or something. Of course I don't want to self-diagnose with anything, but I want to know if I should get it checked out.

My mood swings aren't completely uncontrollable, like I can control myself and rationalize my feelings, but when a mood sticks, it comes fast, it comes strong, and it often sticks for a while. If my day is ruined it's ruined unless something equal and opposite comes to turn it around.

I feel like an impostor in most mental health spaces I go into, but like... what can I say or do? Is this worth asking for an appointment for?

I have really low energy 90% of the time but occasionally get hit with these mostly random sometimes achievement-centric ego & energy boosts that make me very very happy, and/or very angry or even incredibly scared, like I've just been shot up with some kind of stimulant even though all I did was get a good score on an exam or something.

I don't know, I'm lost, should I look into this?

Hello, I am a 32 year old male. I have mild-moderate autism, anxiety, ADHD, insomnia, and depression. Long story short, I have tried multiple anxiety and depression medications with either no or negative effect, but when getting off my most recent medication, Sertraline, for 2-3 days, I felt way better in regards to my anxiety, ADHD, and depression, and I was wondering if anyone here is aware of any medication that chemically mimics the effects of withdrawal from SSRI's.

Now for the long story to provide details, I have had my conditions since childhood, though only got diagnosed recently. I got diagnosed for my ADHD first, and have tried various medications for such, typically up to the max allowable prescription, all with either no, or very minimal effect, such that it took weeks of comparing trends in general behavior between being on or off the medication to ascertain that my current ADHD medication lisadexafetamine is having any positive effect at all, with this being the first ADHD medication to have any noticeable effect. For anxiety and depression medication, I have been having similar effects, with either no, or in the case of sertraline, very minor negative effects, such that it took months for me to be sure I was in fact being effected negatively. While I'm not sure if it's related, this seems to be the case for any neurological medication, such as with anesthesias, in which I often have to be given 3-8 times the standard dose before the pain starts being significantly reduced, and even then not to the degree the doctor seems to suspect, and for my insomnia when trying melatonin, though that was somewhat different in that it did seem to have a noticeable effect, but said effect was gone within ~15-20 minutes, which is not enough for me to go to sleep. When getting off sertraline after months of being on the max dose though, to my surprise, for the first time in my life a change in medication actually had a distinctly noticeable positive effect on not just my anxiety and depression, but my ADHD as well, for roughly 2-3 days, with more mild positive effects for roughly a week after. Even then, this wasn't like a strong change, but it being a noticeable positive effect at all was shocking to me due to my long history of such medications having minimal effectiveness. As such, I was wondering if there are any medications that mimic the molecular effects of SSRI withdrawal, since such seems to be more effective on me than any other experience alternatives. I intend to discuss such with my psychologist in a week's time when I next have an appointment, but I thought it might be best to get a better understanding of what might already be out there first. Thank you for your time, and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

This student refuses to go to school because the academic stress made them cut off their friends, get rid of their hobbies, and study non stop at every waking hour. They see their teachers as demons, even if they didn’t do anything wrong, because they feel that school work will cause them to die. They then take a several months long break where they actually rested and now refuse to go to school because they see it as a place of hell where their life ends. They refuse to go, even if you offer to transfer them to an easier school. They can’t breathe and develop nausea when doing anything school-related, even simple emails and registration matters.

The student is in college.

If a psych eval is needed, how will it help in this context? What does a psych eval do?

Hi I’m a 24M and I was really curious on if I had a type of bipolar or depression. I’ve had one really bad depressive episode in 2021 that lasted a week when I was extremely worried about life after death and the unknown of what happens. Ever since that I’ve been tame but will randomly have a few bad days every few years my last episode lasted 3/4 days in 2024. I currently just went through another one and I think it’s due to seasonal depression but truly don’t know the exact reason, it started Sunday night and just recently ended. I’ve never really had a hypomania or anything like that before and don’t really know the reason of these random waves of sadness that happen not so often.

I saw a meme that went something like: “POV: You had the best week of your life so now you know the downfall is coming.” It was something like that. I know that is something I also deal with. I will have like a moment of enlightenment or a few days that I will decide to get my life back in order or whatever else that will inevitably end with a depressive episode that outlasts all of that. I was just wondering what goes on in the brain that causes this “high” before the “low?”

I’ve always wondered what was wrong with me for example: I can have my room,living room or any other room’s furniture a certain way for a period of time. I’ve wasted money on home projects that looked good for example a media wall i had up for a 2 months a tore it down. I get sort of a rush when I move the tv,couch,recliners around and then 2 weeks later it’s rearranged. There is a list of things that don’t really make sense about me but I thought I’d start with this. I hope this question/post makes sense

hi everyone, i’ve been considering seeking professional help for a while now, but i’m genuinely confused about whether i should consult a psychiatrist first or a psychologist.
i’ve been dealing with a combination of issues for quite some time, and it’s difficult to put everything into words. some experiences from my past still haunt me, and i’ve struggled with things related to those experiences and memories. i’ve also had intense emotional episodes, and at times i’ve experienced changes in my memory, difficulty thinking or remembering things, numbness, severe headaches and vision-related symptoms.
i’ve also struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past. i’m not sure how to make sense of everything i’m experiencing, and i don’t want to self-diagnose or assume that everything is connected.
the thing is, i’m quite scared of the idea of seeing a psychiatrist. i’m not entirely sure what to expect from an appointment, whether i’ll be prescribed medication immediately, or how to explain everything when i don’t even know how to organise my own thoughts about it.
i know psychologists and psychiatrists have different roles, but i’m confused about which one would be the right starting point for someone in my situation. should i book an appointment with a clinical psychologist first, or would it be better to see a psychiatrist for an initial assessment?
if anyone has been in a similar situation, i’d really appreciate hearing about your experience. i’d also appreciate advice on what the first appointment is generally like and how to find a professional who would be a good fit.
i’m genuinely trying to understand what kind of help i need, and any advice would mean a lot. please be kind.

Hello, for class, I’m thinking about becoming a psychologist and I need to have an informational interview with someone in that field by Sunday.

If anyone is a psychologist (or knows one), especially one that works with kids, I would really appreciate your help please.

to ensure i am not misunderstood: im NOT asking someone on here to diagnose me, i am asking for a way to bring this up to the right person.

for context i have been wanting to get diagnosed to better understand myself. there are certain conditions i and others around me have had concern for. how do i bring up a concern without asking if i have x condition? i fear that asking in that way would skew bias in some way or that it would not make them check for other conditions. i want a way to bring it up without risking causing complications or having my concerns not taken seriously. do i have to ask about a specific condition or can i be more general about it? id prefer to be more general because i want to get the proper diagnosis and i feel like asking for only one condition would not accomplish this.

another piece of information that is relavent to my case specifically is that i have not been to a psychologist since adolescence, so it will be a new person. so i feel asking for a specific condition may not be the best idea.

i just want a way i could discuss my concerns with a professional. i already know what i want to get assessed for, i need a way to get my concerns across without causing issue. i have always been selfish and emotionally blunted and i want to test for things like npd, aspd, bipolar, and bpd. possibly things like schizophrenia or schizoid or ocd or eating disorders or insomnia because of matters that i shouldnt share here. i feel that figuring this out will better let me understand myself. not knowing what creates a disconnect in what i want and what causes me to fail at getting it is frustrating and i feel getting diagnosed or at least have my issues pointed out in some way will help me achieve my goals. my folks are more concerned about things like npd and aspd, but im more concerned of things like ocd and insomnia and schizophrenia. so those are the ones i want to try to prioritize.

one more question: can things like cd or other prerequisite be diagnosed/identified in retrospect? if not, then i dont have to worry about searching,

To start off, I’m not looking for anyone to tell me “you’re too sensitive” or “you just need to learn how to be alone”. Sure, I’ve established that, it’s useless. 2nd, I’m looking more so for clarity, and if anyone has experienced this as intensely or similarly to me, because I struggle to find such. If you’re a mental, medical, nervous system or trauma professional, or you somehow can relate, your comment is deeply appreciated. Finally, am I sure this is trauma, no, but it feels the most aligned. 

One time, I was with two friends who were just very giggly with each other more than with me in my opinion, and it triggered me so badly to the point my chest was tight, my mood dropped noticeably that someone asked me what was wrong, I struggled to walk home as my body felt so heavy,  and cried to the point I couldn’t breathe well, and I thought about every failed attempt at friendship id had, how everyone always picks someone else over me, and what could possibly be wrong with me.

Another time, when I had to go on a school bus for the first time in years, my heart dropped at the sight of it, and when nobody sat next to me on the bus, you guessed it, I cried and cried and wondered what was wrong with me. 

One other time, I’d gone to a party and someone Id spoken to before and hoped we could be good friends was giving attention to someone else, and did not speak to me if I didn’t her, and this caused me to go home, have a full on panic attack, like heaving crying screaming in pain panic attack because everything in my body just felt horrid, and the pain didn’t really fade until later the next day.

High school was where this all started because this constant feeling of me not being anyone’s first choice actually made me suicidal at the time. I think my situation is kind of complex because it’s not like I don’t have friends or get along with people. Alternatively, I only really have one close friend, and as you could guess, putting extreme weight on every failure, never feeling like I fully fit in or I’m normal even though logically I know I am, avoidance, rumination and horrendous panic attacks from social situations don’t exactly make it easy to make new friends (I may also just be a little socially inept). I’m extremely vigilant to social dynamics, constantly measuring where I stand, and this has caused me a great deal of pain for years. I find it’s more specific than anxiety or depression because it’s mostly triggered by social situations similar to what I mentioned. If I go out in a group, come alone to a social place like a cafeteria, party or other gathering, or genuinely if I just sit and think about my life alone in silence for too long, there’s a 90% of me having an anxiety/panic attack. And it’s always body first, it ALWAYS starts with that forsaken tight chest. ALWAYS. It’s caused me constant pain and I’ve never heard anyone else around me describe something similar. It’s like feeling left out or lonely but on steroids and with a side of “I don’t want to live” and “I have nothing to offer”. 

Thoughts?

Today I had an appointment at my psychiatrist, where I expressed my wish to go to the clinic where they treat personality disorders and trauma.

And he advised me not to do so.

He thinks that clinics offer structure and stability but they don't help to treat what he called an anxious avoidant attachment pattern.(I have been diagnosed with Avpd)

He thinks that it is really hard to change if changeable at all.

He also asked me why I am afraid of people and think that they won't like me. And I said because of past experiences like mobbing in primary and in high school; and that my dad was severely ill and never really talked to me ( he had speech difficulties because of aids and also a language barrier and was depressed).

My psychiatrist said that those events definitely impacted me and are sad but he would be cautious with the word trauma or attachment trauma.

He also brought up that some people's dad just left or worse.

This kinda felt invalidating and I don't get why people do have the need to follow up my experience with my dad with"well some people don't have a father at all".

Anyway my psychiatrist said that CBT and depth psychologic therapy aren't enough or aren't meant to deal with Avpd because they are too short. In Germany both would be 50 hours to 80 hours max.He said that psychoanalysis would be the better way but you'd have to do that for like 5 years.

He also said that only 50% of people have a healthy attachment pattern; and if you'd wanna call an anxious avoidant pattern a real illness then you'd have to diagnose half the population.

These sorts of things that he says kinda unsettle me. Like it feels like he doesn't want me to think that I'm ill , but that just makes me think that I am making things up or that it's not that bad.

Or things like well if it's not that severe then I'm just lazy not depressed and I just have anxiety and I just have to get over it.

I also wanted to bring up whether I might have ADHD and or Autism but he said that that's a trendy diagnosis right now. So I didn't elaborate why I think that I might have it.

Like I'm not sure what to do therapy wise ....like he doesn't want me to go to a clinic and he doesn't think standard CBT or depth psychologic therapy is gonna help. But he also doesn't think that I should seek for someone with a trauma certification.

It kinda makes me feel like there's nothing I can do and I'm f*ed....

The replies to this post will not be used for self-diagnosis. I'm just looking for perspectives on what I could discuss with a professional and what might be worth getting assessed for. I'll be able to get a psychiatrist appointment in March.

I've been questioning a lot of things about myself lately. I'm generally emotionally detached and indifferent toward most people's emotions, and I often struggle to feel genuine concern or remorse, even when I understand that I've done something wrong. It's not that I don't care about anybody at all; there are only a select few people I genuinely feel empathy toward, but they're not really that lucky to have me around either, considering the way I think and behave.

I don't seek out many friendships, and when I do become friends with someone, they usually entertain me for about a week before I start losing interest and ghosting them. I rarely feel motivated to maintain relationships unless the person continues to interest me. However, with the few people I genuinely care about, I can become very insecure, jealous, and afraid of being replaced or losing them.

I also struggle with anger, an inconsistent sense of identity, and questioning my own intentions. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm manipulative, whether I genuinely want to change certain behaviors, or whether I simply enjoy feeling different from other people.

I don't know whether my childhood had anything to do with the way I am now, but I know I haven't always been like this. I'm not sure when or why certain things about me started changing, and I don't know how much of my upbringing might have influenced the way I experience emotions and relationships.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit. I'd just appreciate hearing whether anyone relates to these experiences, what their experiences have been like, and what they think would be worth bringing up with a professional. I'm open to any questions!

I live a normal life I work a full time job, it’s pretty calm life I live yet I never been so bored in life with everything it’s like nothing has life. everything seems fake and I space out a lot during conversations and constantly forgetting what the person was even talking about and it’s like I’m on auto pilot. Over awhile I’ve started thinking about doing something really just dangerous or chaotic (meaning nothing to harm anyone) just the feeling of it makes me want to do it I’m talking like getting into like high speed chases or disobey cops and do something illegal that has nothing to do with harm people or kids and nothing to do with stealing money from random people unless there really rich.I just want to make myself feel like what it’s like to live.

Sorry if this is cringe I just don’t know where to go to talk to this about. I kinda wish I had a therapist that wouldn’t send me to the ward.

Also posted in [r/askpsychology](r/askpsychology)

(TLDR; my 11y daughter has 9/15 behaviors of conduct disorder and shows no emotion/empathy/guilt. She is becoming more dangerous, father won’t cooperate with treatment, mental health system in America sucks, can’t find a residential center to take her, don’t know what else to do, scared for my other kids safety, need help. I can’t do this alone anymore.)

**ETA: It got worse today and she told her school she was suicidal, leading to a 7 hour stay in the ER with all of my kids. She told the doctor that she wanted to kill herself and had been asking friends to bring her knives and weapons since we locked up the ones at home. She did not display any sadness or behavior I would expect from someone suicidal. She spent the time eating food, dancing around the room, messing with the bedding, chit-chatting, making jokes and smiling, etc. The ER put her on the phone with a crisis line, who talked to her for 20ish minutes and asked her if she wants to go to the behavioral health hospital or sign a safety plan and go home. She chose the safety plan, which essentially said to think nice thoughts and not to harm herself. She was in good spirits the entire time. I told them I do not feel safe bringing her home, and think she needs to be moved to in-patient care at least for observation, and they basically told me they are discharging her and to take her home and keep an eye on her.

To start, we are under the care of a pediatrician, therapist, and psychiatrist, and working on finding a treatment center.
For context, her bio father and I have been split since she was 2 months old. He left the state and didn’t have a relationship with her until age 5, court still grants him split legal custody. He currently has some holiday visitation and lives across the country, and has joint legal custody. He has diagnosed bipolar (not sure if 1 or 2), adhd, and childhood conduct disorder and will not seek therapy or take any medication as an adult. I would highly suspect undiagnosed aspd. I do not add this to talk badly about her father, I just don’t know if this had relevance to my daughter’s current issues. Some wording is changed because I don’t know why the post got auto deleted.

My 11 year old daughter has had increasing behavior and mental health problems since around age 4. In kindergarten, her teachers had to separate her from the boys in the class and referred to her behavior as predatory. At age 6, she was found touching her 4 year old half-sister inappropriately at night at her father’s house. She has never been able to maintain friendships for longer than a few weeks at best, and has never been invited to parties, birthdays, or play dates that weren’t with immediate family or parent’s close friends. She is the oldest sibling in both houses, and has issues in each home with poor sibling relationships, bullying, covert violence (i.e. lots of “accidents” and hurting the siblings when no one is looking, always trying to have plausible deniability), violence and anger towards pets and livestock, lying, stealing, the works. The issues today range from covert violence against others, violence against animals, ending animal lives, s**ually inappropriate behaviors, pathological lying, stealing across multiple groups/settings, inappropriate touching of animal behaviors, very poor hygiene, basically anything besides substance use and fire setting. Her behaviors have always been sneaky, in ways where she can claim she didn’t mean to, didn’t understand, it was an accident, it wasn’t her, etc.

Last year (age 10) within 3 weeks of starting at a new school and district, she accused a 15 year old high school boy of SA, by saying he touched her inappropriately on the school bus and made vulgar comments and threats, and then followed her when she moved seats. She had us convinced, was made well aware that if her claims were untrue she could ruin the boys life and have him arrested, and it escalated to where multiple entities and the police were involved. The bus camera footage was pulled, and her entire story was false. She was the one following him and trying to touch him, and he rejected her, leading to her retaliating with these claims. When she was confronted with the camera footage, she claimed the cameras were lying and broke down sobbing. When told we weren’t buying her tears, she flipped a switch and stood right up, emotionless and it’s like the crying never even happened. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and my husband told me later that it scared him. He’s not one to be scared by anything.

She has frequently injured my other children (2f and 1m) under guise of “accidents” or “playing”. She has trapped my 2yo in a standing laundry basket, covered her with heavy toys to pin her in, covered her with a thick blanket and left the room. TWICE. She could have suffocated if I hadn’t come right out. The kids constantly get tripped, pushed off the couch or chairs, etc. lots of bumps, bruises, scrapes, bl**dy lips, and crying. But it’s never done in a blatant/aggressive/loud way. This is just one of many incidents. She will also intentionally wake them from sleep to disrupt the house, because she’s mad or just “because”.

We have had chickens for years and she’s been around them the entire time and is not by any means afraid of them. She is no longer allowed near them because we caught her throwing rocks and dirt at them/into their faces from a foot away, and the last straw was her getting into the chicken run, “getting scared” and kicking and stomping them ending the lives of 12 chickens.

She has tried to position herself around our 55lb dog to get him to mount her multiple times, touched his privates, flashed her step-dad, we had to throw away all her shorts because she will pull them up to expose her rear end at home, or sit open legged to expose herself to us. Numerous instances of us and family catching her being inappropriate with other kids, any age. She has stolen electronics/ipad from one set of grandparents, stolen bathing suits from a cousin, stolen bras from another cousin, stolen money from me and my husband, stolen my accessories and makeup, stolen from kids and teachers at school. She lies about anything and everything, including frequently making up stories that are blatantly false, just because? Like saying she saw a crazy car wreck on the bus ride home from school and saying graphic details- but there was no accidents today in town. (It’s a small town).

She will go days without showering or brushing her teeth, and lie about it saying she has. She smells terrible. She has had teeth pulled for cavities and infection. She frequently fails to flush the toilet and which shows she doesn’t always wipe when going #1 or #2. She will not wash her hands unless directly told and supervised. She will cough, sneeze, burp etc towards people with no attempt to cover her face or excuse herself. We are not dirty or mannerless, and she has absolutely not been raised like this. My 2 year old has better manners and hygiene. Nothing has worked to fix this short of me sitting on the toilet to make sure she actually showers, even then she will lie about using soap.

She has been extremely good at convincing extended family that she is a “perfect angel”, sweet, nurturing, and “just a kid”. Even convincing them that her bad behaviors are just because she’s had a hard life with her father and custody. Nothing is “her fault”. But even they are starting to see through her act and come around.

Punishments have no effect on her. If we take privileges, she said she didn’t need them and never asks about them. If we take toys or objects, she tells us she was going to donate them anyway and never asks about them. If we make her do manual labor, she will sit on the ground and give it minimal effort and say it’s the best she can do. We have even tried making her run, and she doesn’t care. She’ll just do it and say it was fun. No punishment has ever been a deterrent for her. Once the conflict or confrontation is over, even if she is sent to her room, she will come out within 20-30 minutes as if absolutely nothing happened, chit chatting, gossiping, or trying to “hang out” with a smile on her face. It’s unsettling.

For the last year, we have had cameras in the common areas of the house, our room, and the toddler and babies room. My husband refuses to be alone with her without being directly on camera in fear of more false allegations. We have not allowed her to go into their rooms with or without them, because she will hurt them or break their toys. She has ruined all of their birthday parties by making them all about her, breaking gifts, hurting someone on “accident” or otherwise causing a scene. She is not allowed to hold them or pick them up, because she will drop them or bang them into furniture, or otherwise hurt them. We have had to install key locks in the babies and toddlers door, our door, and the laundry room door. She has tried to break into the locked rooms. We have had to lock up any sharp objects, including the butter knives and my toddler plastic Montessori kitchen knives. All cords longer than 1 foot are locked up, medication, anything that can be used to stage an accident and hurt or end the life of someone. Any time my husband and I are asleep or not able to supervise her or the little kids 24/7, the doors are locked. I am terrified she is going to unalive or permanently injure them.

I have called everyone I can think of. Her pediatrician kept referring us to psychological services that didn’t take our insurance and we couldn’t afford. We have talked to the sheriff (they assigned her a case number after the school bus allegation incident) and the junior probation department and she has a probation officer even though she isn’t technically on probation. Her school has been no help. I have tried to take her to the emergency room and they said it wasn’t a crisis. I have called in-patient centers, gone to the local adult in patient/rehab/outpatient therapy center and they are trying to get her in for a longer formal assessment and help us find in-patient treatment but her father (shares legal custody) will not consent to treat, or return my phone calls or texts. His motive is always to hurt me and cause me problems, she isn’t a priority to him. I will be filing with the court, but the current calendar is out 5-6 months for hearings. The local center psychologist did speak to her anyway and assess her verbally due to the severity of the situation, but can’t formally until they have a court order, fathers consent, or she is taken into law enforcement custody. They said she is dangerous, will escalate, and is a danger to herself and others. But they can’t take her or transfer her. Even without mentioning that father is refusing to give consent, we can’t find an in-patient center that will accept her. Either because of her age, gender, behaviors, or our insurance (state medicaid). One center quoted $2000/day.

I don’t know what else to do. I’m scared, I’m tired, I’m 6 months pregnant and losing weight and having other health issues because of stress. My husband is a wonderful support but he doesn’t know what to do either. Everyone agrees that something is seriously wrong, but they all point fingers at each other and say it’s someone else’s problem. I have me asked law enforcement to take her into custody so she has to get treatment, and they said to just report every thing she does until they can take her. I have even considered signing over my rights and sending her to her fathers since he won’t consent to treatment, but I know she won’t get help there and still fear she will be so angry at me that she will come back and retaliate against me or her siblings later in life. I know this is a lot. There is more but I have typed too much already.

Please help. I want to hear any possible ideas or suggestions. I don’t know what else to do.

I know about comorbidities and the like, but are there any 2 disorders that CANNOT be diagnosed in the same person? Or at the very least are less likely to co-occur?

Looking for advice! This has been bugging me for months! 

Backstory: my life partner's 18 year old daughter was having sex with a 15 year old boy for six months. This is considered criminal sexual assault in the state we live in and is extremely predatory to me. I often voiced my opinion. Once I asked him how he'd feel if when his son is 15 some 18 year old was having sex with him. His reply: I'd wonder what was wrong with the girl. He quickly caught himself. Then instead of getting his daughter in therapy, he just kept giving her his car to continue to have sex with this 15 year old boy. 

Fast forward 3-3.5 years later. Daughter is now 21. She has twin brothers, aged 15. She's home for two weeks from college. Her brothers just started their first summer jobs. Sleep was important. They had lots of responsibility. She spent every single night, but one, with one of the twins. Until the wee hours of the morning. We're talking 2-3am nightly. She's 21, he's 15. Only one brother, not the other. She never even asked her father to belly up to the bar or get dinner. Not once. She only wanted to hang with her brother. Even on the few nights that she went out with a friend, the second she got home, she went straight to her brother. He didn't eat, sleep or see friends for two weeks. One of the nights she came home with a friend around midnight, who was sleeping over. Even that night, she had to hang with her much younger brother. One night I walked into his room and they were both under his covers watching a show on her laptop. It was almost always in his room. Rarely on the big comfy couch with the big screen TV in the common area. 

She's obese, most likely clinically morbidly obese. Her brothers are thin athletic growing teen boys. She was making him mozzarella sticks late one night and asked him how many he wanted. He said 12. She said that's too many; I'll make you 10. Another morning when he had to work until 5pm and us parents were at her other brother's athletic event, she made him one Kodiak waffle (they're small). 200 calories maybe. She's obese, stuffing her face, yet, portion-controlling her athletic growing teen brother. It's beyond bizarre. 

Am I correct to be concerned that this is very predatory, or am I overreacting?