Is BDSM cheating?

[u/FirmFoldGreenUser]

My wife and I are in a strained relationship where we kinda resent each other. Our sex life is almost non existent (2-3 times a year maybe if she initiate). We were okay first couple of years of marriage and we had fun but now she does not care about sex as much as I do and she thinks it’s not necessary after 10 years in a marriage. We also don’t communicate at all. If not for the kids and other reasons I don’t want to discuss right now, we would be divorced but right now that is not an option. I’m kinda afraid of her because of the way she reacts. I am always walking on eggshells around her and I am scared to even ask her if I can go get a beer with my friends so I definitely can’t talk to her about being in an open relationship although I feel like she might not care. I have so much resentment that I feel like cheating on her will be my silent revenge but I also feel guilty especially because of the kids. I want to go to a BDSM switch where the pro can be naked as well and there is physical contact but no intercourse. Assuming divorce is not on the table for now, how bad is BDSM without her knowledge?

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[u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

Wait, did the Tantric massage opportunity fall through?

I feel like I missed a memo about today's posts. 🤔

[u/bookshopscoffeestops → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

OP is throwing things on the wall of the sub to see what sticks.

[u/Dry-Judge-2444]

OP in what universe would this NOT be cheating?

Also get a divorce, Jesus. Why you wanna live like that?

Also stop acting like a passive muppet. I hope you aren’t trying to be a dom bc I would have a feeling you’d be bad at it.

[u/Glad_Kiwi_272]

😂😂 just say you want your permission slip signed. Of course it’s cheating.

[u/Professional-Net4766]

The copium is strong with this one

[u/phreak_like_me_2600]

this is bait right

[u/Hour_Passion_928]

I'd focus on telling your wife you're gonna get a beer with friends as a start.

[u/-HRChick-]

Only person whose opinion on whether it's cheating that matters is your wife's. If you don't want to tell her, you probably already know where she stands.

[u/anonfunforme]

If you're wife isn't cool with you getting a beer with friends, I think she's gonna have a real problem with the BDSM.

[u/brattybabyc]

How will you be free for these kinds of events if you’re unable to get beers with the bros?

[u/RichAgent7753]

Feels like I’m reading the adultery version of “Is It Cake?”

[u/FreshTechnician5847]

Yes.

[u/SadPerception4228]

Why are you afraid of her??