r/adhdmeme • u/newbeginnings187 microdosing m*th like a CHAMP • 1d ago
š¤” Jesus, the amount of "I'm the same, happens to everyone, just focus." I hear is fucking maddening. š¤” š
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u/-digitalin- 1d ago
I dated/was friends with a guy who told me about his ADHD and kept explaining how everything he did was related to that. Internally, I got a little annoyed, because, like, EVERYONE does that thing or functions that way, and it didn't make him different.
Turns out I have ADHD. Not everyone functions that way.
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u/berdulf 1d ago
Revelations like that are really fun. Theyāre especially fun in mid-life like ADHD at 40-something. Then at 53 it was ASD that should have been Aspergerās years ago. But hey, autism wasnāt even an official diagnosis in the DSM until I was 8. So like RFK, Jr. said, we didnāt this many people with autism in my day š¤Ŗš¤”
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u/Prownilo 1d ago
When you learn more about ADHD you realise how much of your entire personality is actually shaped by it.
What I thought were just quirks or personality traits, nope, symptoms or trauma caused by ADHD. My entire personality could be summed up in a goddamn technical document on ADHD.
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u/berdulf 14h ago
I actually started writing one for myself when I started connecting the autism dots. Itās organized by DSM categories and sub-categories. Anecdotes from my life are listed chronologically when possible. Some of things I do and have done can actually be arranged in a Venn diagram that crosses several criteria. Another redditor described doing something similar; their psychiatrist said that was the most autistic thing ever.
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u/Vashipants *opens new tab* *opens new tab* *op 7h ago
I love this, and now I wanna do it. If it's not too personal, and you're willing, would you share some of what that looks like?
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u/Beldarak 1d ago
My bf is like "well, if we listen to you, everyone we know is either ADHD or ASD!"... Well... I mean, it is actually a neurodivergent thing to seek others ND AND the stuff is hereditary too so... yeah :D
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u/knallfrosch84 1d ago
"You can't blame everything on your ADHD"
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u/newbeginnings187 microdosing m*th like a CHAMP 1d ago
I just walk away and don't dignify that shit with an answer. I used to get mad, now I just walk away.
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u/mymemesnow 1d ago
Thereās a reason why ADHD is considered a disability. It makes everyday life a lot more challenging.
No I canāt blame everything on my ADHD and I donāt. But I can say that my life is more challenging than the average persons because of my ADHD.
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u/lisabydaylight Daydreamer 1d ago
Iāve had someone say that to me before I even mentioned my ADHD lmao, thanks for assuming though ig š«©
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u/grip0matic Cursed and surely sprinkled with Autism. 1d ago
That's my gf... she gets pretty much all the ADHD but there is always that sentence when she cannot accept that something is as simple as "yes, it's because the curse".
I don't even argue anymore, I cannot make her feel what I feel when I notice what I did wrong. The most I would say is "do you think I do this on purpose? because I fucking hate myself".
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u/Prownilo 1d ago
One of the most frustrating things. I warned my wife before we were married over and over and yet she still seems to think that magically one day I will suddenly stop forgetting things, getting distracted and being terrible at admin? Like Iāll just grow out of it one day.
It's not changing, this is who I am.
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u/PartridgeViolence 7h ago
Why canāt you just remember!
Woman! You walked into this clown show with eyes wide open!
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u/Fragrant-Pineapple62 1d ago
Same. Seeing a psychiatrist and being validated made me feel better. Finally someone didnāt just tell me to ājust do itā or āwill yourself into doing itā. Itās a real issue most people canāt even comprehend
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u/newbeginnings187 microdosing m*th like a CHAMP 1d ago
I am actually touched today. Been dealing with very cold psychs for 2 years. Had a virtual consult 2 days ago with a new guy recommended by Google Gemini of all things! Prescribed me meds, totally listened to me. I am AuADHD, MDD with GAD and going through a divorce, fighting for my daughter, and my elderly Husky just beat a blood infection and has cataracts. Been nursing her with antibiotics, a steroid, supplements and cuddling her. The new pysch texted me out of the blue today, " I really hope you fight through everything you are going through, it would break me and most people.".
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u/Fragrant-Pineapple62 1d ago
Iām glad you found a great physician. Iām also experiencing a major depressive episode right now & in the process of getting formally diagnosed with ADHD. It sucks, but I believe things will get better. Good luck to you and your pupper!
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u/Deltanonymous- 1d ago
The willpower thing is funny. If someone asked my wife what my top trait would be, she would either say kindness or intelligence (not braggy, I promise). But if you asked me, it would be willpower......when I can finally tap into it. It's very ironic lol. Can pump out amazing work under pressure, forget my keys, phone, wallet, appointments, etc. that would alleviate some of that pressure.
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u/Vashipants *opens new tab* *opens new tab* *op 7h ago
I had one who tried to tell me to reward myself with a treat, like a cookie, after competing things. She could not figure out why that wouldn't work for me. I will just accept not having the cookie, and feel bad about not doing the thing anyway. Haven't gone back in a few years. Been thinking about trying an online gig.
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u/Fragrant-Pineapple62 1h ago
Rewarding myself has never worked either. Iād just have the treat anyway
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u/Worth-Trade9381 just writing it down 1d ago
Just write things down, make a list, set reminders, use a calendar. Ok got it, I'm cured, thanks Dr. Everyone.
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u/ignoremeplsokthank 1d ago
People (teachers) are always so puzzled when they tell me to use a notebook or a to-do-list and I tell them I've been using these things for years, I just forget
they existĀ
to look at them
to write down the things I'm supposed to doĀ
Ā And if it's my calendar app on my phone, I regularly swipe away the messages without checking what it said because I opened my phone for a mission and it annoyed me and afterwards, I forgot that my calendar app even sent me a message, until it's too late.
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u/Worth-Trade9381 just writing it down 1d ago
The best is when I write things on a post-it and stick it somewhere where I have to look at it every time I walk into that room and yet I still don't do the thing on the Post-It.
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u/ignoremeplsokthank 1d ago
I put my vacuum cleaner onto the floor of my hallway, right into the middle, and instead of putting it away, I stepped over it for like a week.
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u/Worth-Trade9381 just writing it down 1d ago
I operate the same way, haven't done the vacuum but other objects big and small often.
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u/Beldarak 1d ago
The funny part is we DO actually create all those systems. And yes, they (kinda) work... while adding to the mental load :P
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u/Worth-Trade9381 just writing it down 1d ago
Oh yeah I do all those things and they help me take care of about half of the things I need to do. The other half just sit on the list and never get done.
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u/ingeniera 1d ago
I have to schedule time to schedule time or else I won't schedule my time at all and I haven't done that in 3 years. But maaaan when I did it like that for 2 months it was cool.
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u/leashandbones 1d ago
Omg. Yes! Try writing it down and have you put it in your phone? Did you set a reminder on your phone? Those drive me crazy!
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u/leashandbones 1d ago
Omg. Yes! Try writing it down and have you put it in your phone? Did you set a reminder on your phone? Those drive me crazy!
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u/HiddenPants777 1d ago
I don't talk to people aside from my partner about it because almost everyone I speak to says something along the lines of
"I think we all have a bit of ADHD"
And maybe it's true for some of them, I definitely have a few friends who might be undiagnosed, but it's annoying as fuck and totally belittles my disorder and the things I struggle with.
It's not some glamorous thing, it's endlessly frustrating. I've spent my life feeling like there was always something missing, that nothing I, or anyone else does is ever enough. My life is great, I've worked really hard to get where I am and I should enjoy it but there's always that looming feeling if being a failure. The self sabotage, the burned out days, the loneliness, it's awful.
I'd rather say I have a dopamine deficiency than say ADHD because people think it just means I get distracted by squirrels or whatever. I don't even have the hyperactivity, I have inattentive ADHD which makes people more sceptical. Also, it means I find other people I know who have ADHD (rather than ADD) hard to be around because they're too loud.
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u/SwanKwonDo 1d ago
I get āeverything is on the spectrum these daysā as a common comment.
Wellā¦yeah, thatās how spectrums work.
If it comes up, I just tell people I have a condition that affects my brain chemistry that keeps me from regulating certain things properly. They take you more seriously.
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u/mechchic84 1d ago
Usually, it goes the other way around for me. People get annoyed with me and ask rudely/angrily if I have ADHD, but lately it seems more common for people to "accuse" me of being autistic. I'm not sure if it is because information about autism is currently trending or because I very likely am an undiagnosed autistic. It mostly comes from my friends, family, and my 60 year old coworker that has an autistic adult son that still lives at home with him.
One friend called me autistic and I told him I have ADHD. He said, same thing, so apparently some people don't realize there is a difference. I'm pretty I have both but that's still besides the point, there is a difference.
Autism is probably what has me creating binders for my legal documents, tax documents, medical files, and other important paperwork sorted with tabs for each section and chronologically by document within that section. ADHD has me wait 3 years before taking my well organized documents to the tax office to file them, forgetting the binders at home if I don't stick them in the car a week in advance and possibly forgetting them in the car when I walk into the tax office. The tax guy complimented my organization skills. I told him if I was truly organized, I wouldn't have waited 3 years to bring them in.
If I don't have a labeled document protector for each item I'm supposed to bring, I'm not sure what I need to bring and will freak out about it not sure if I have everything I'm supposed to have. I did it for myself, not the tax guy.
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u/clookie1232 1d ago
Itās worse when someone says they also have ADHD. Not āwe allā have it. But they specifically do. So you start looking for the symptoms and find none. But what are you gonna do? Call them out? And then their claims invalidate your own. So then Iāve gotta start pulling out the symptom names to back myself up: PDA, RSD, etc so I donāt see ignorant
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u/LatinKing106 1d ago
I tell people every time it gets brought up that I do a lot by myself because my head is loud enough. I don't need other people adding to it.
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u/Deltanonymous- 1d ago
I have an appointment in December (America, yay) to begin the diagnosis process. When you saw a doctor, how did they assess you and determine inattentive vs. others? The failure, sabotage, burn out, and loneliness are familiar. Gets worse the more I'm stressed.
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u/mechchic84 1d ago
I was in 2nd grade. I had to be taped to my chair so I'd stay in it instead of running around the classroom. They had to tape my chair to the floor so I'd stop scooting it around. They had to tape the desk to the floor because I started scooting it once I could no longer move my chair. This wasn't my first instance, just the school's breaking point. My grades were fine, I'd finish the work and then get bored and tired of sitting at my desk so I'd get up and become disruptive.
My parents were told I wasn't allowed to return to the school until they had me assessed and potentially medicated. My first day back I was medicated and I was so quiet that the teacher marked me absent. This was back in 1992 when girls were notoriously overlooked for ADHD and I suppose I was still a pretty obvious case.
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u/ShyCrystal69 17h ago
Yeah you get those few girls who break the mould and itās so damn obvious theyāre autistic and/or have adhd that you canāt dispute that they have it. I got diagnosed at the age of 4 and my friends and I joke about how it was the first sign I was a boy because I showed symptoms of autism like other boys my age did.
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u/dunsmi 1d ago
for me, they gave me two sheets to fill out that had checklists of symptoms. i think inattentive/combined/hyperactive just depends on which of the symptoms are more present. i'm inattentive and only checked off a few of the hyperactive symptoms, but almost all of the inattentive ones.
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u/PSYCHOsmurfZA 1d ago
My wife tries hard because she is also the only one I can genuinely speak to about it
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u/imahugemoron 1d ago
It stems from many peopleās inability to accept some people have it harder than they do
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u/Ticklemykelmo 1d ago
Iām extremely neurotypical, but I follow these subs because my partner has adhd and I try to find insight where I can.
On this subject Iāll say, though, that people can only experience the world through their own perspective. This āadvice,ā while entirely useless, comes from a desire to help.
Iāve come to realize that every idea I had to make things easier boils down to ādonāt have adhdā so I no longer offer those but even after ten years my initial reaction to some things is, ājust focusā because that works for me. I have to remind myself that it doesnāt work for her.
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u/newbeginnings187 microdosing m*th like a CHAMP 1d ago
She is very lucky to have you and you have a great mindset. My wife left me when I was diagnosed and starting medications 'only you can FIX yourself". Hahaha, wow, amazing medical insight !
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u/Mammoth-Lobster2028 19h ago
Yeah lookā¦ it seems like neurotypicals control their brain and ADHD and others on the spectrum the brain is the law - the brain is in control - you absolutely rarely get to be the instructor. Itās exhausting. During burnout? Even worse.
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u/Beldarak 1d ago
A friend the other day genuinely asked me "did you try sleeping at normal hours".
Wow, 36 years old, I had never tought of that. Hey guys, why don't you just... stop being ADHD? :P
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u/Rocketboy1313 1d ago
"...saying saying..."
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u/ego_sum_chromie 1d ago
i got stuck here then scrolled around to see if anyone else caught that lol
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u/ethanlewis12 1d ago
I spent a lot of my childhood trying to figure out what was different about me. I was always seen as weird but I didnāt think I was doing anything particularly odd.
I took numerous online autism tests, but I never quite fit into that pigeonhole. Now, Iāve been diagnosed with ADHD and it helps me to understand why I act the way I do, and stops me from feeling the need to justify myself.
Yes, I have no idea where my keys are and I canāt remember what I ate for lunch, but my Pokemon card collection is banging and I can finally be me, unapologetically.
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u/ignoremeplsokthank 1d ago
I meant to cancel this expensive subscription to my country's public transport (Deutschlandticket) yesterday that costs over 60ā¬ a month and that I only need this month to go on vacation.Ā
I don't have a lot of money because I'm a student, so you would think I would have kept this in mind, but while trying to cancel the subscription for next month, it told me it doesn't let me cancel it after the 10th of the month. This was yesterday.Ā
So now I'm stuck with this ticket that literally costs as much asĀ two weeks of food for me and that I need to donate blood plasma at least 3 times for in order to pay because I forgot.Ā
It's not just "oopsie poopsie, I forgot my wallet, I'm so clumsy!!", this shit sucks and now I have to figure out how to pay for my food for two weeks because my money won't be enough for both.Ā
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u/thisusername-is-cake dafuqIjustRead 1d ago
Same here, I've lost so much money to the Deutschlandticket due to this issue :(
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u/UsualFaithlessness51 1d ago
Rambling warning: 63ā¬ yes....it gets more expensive each yearš and what you have it bad??? I have Grundsicherung and don't know how to still afford that and would absolutely forget to cancel if I had no need for it or be too late but why...10th of month thingie? And...At least I can get food with Grundsicherung until I can get a job...but they want to see if I need Reha first (Schwerbehindert). anyhow.. I feel you. My adhd makes everything more expensive and my execution dysfunction makes it hard to even do it correctly, even when I do it (plus Jobcenter also kept losing my stuff each month wtf. Do they have adhd all of them? can't be real. even with SendungsbestƤtigung+Verfolgung+emails). I finally have a Betreuerin that helped me get help by just turning up on an app' with me and giving all per hand. Job center's decision was dragging from when I was fired in February until now. I was nearly homeless haha....My grandfather gave me food. Or else it be quicker. Why is food so expensive...selling blood plasma...I shall remember I have a rare blood type O...idk if relevant...
She wants to slowly help me get better external systems to compensate, because I may be unable to get adhd meds due to my other meds. If you need to survive like that, I hope you can get Eingliederungshilfe maybe too? Depends on the Betreuer/In though...the one in between did not help. I was ready to despair and resign to being homeless until they found me a new help.
If only I had known I could sell blood plasma for food...where do I need to go?
Sorry for rapid questions. I rarely see in such spaces people similar and residing in the same country. It was hard to get any help even from Caritas other then small food bons if I think 30 Euros was it, per month? Grandpa sure saved me with food.
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u/Methylsky ADHD Inattentive gang rise UP 1d ago
"Well that X person had ADHD and they can do Y, you need to focus"
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u/2011lanei Daydreamer 1d ago
This PISSES me off. My dad told me the other day that 'oh I don't want to do things sometimes but I still do them!' IT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME???? I CAN'T DO THINGS EVEN IF I WANT TO DO THEM??? EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION ISN'T THE SAME AS THAT ONE TIME YOU WERE FEELING A LITTLE LAZY OH MY GOD.
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u/LinkAmbitious4342 1d ago
I have ADHD, and I havenāt forgotten my wallet or keys even once in 20 years. One traumatic experience in childhood was enough to turn checking for them into a routine I canāt break.
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u/Icy_Schedule_2493 1d ago
Just try harder!š¤ Just start!š¤ Just focus! š¤ Just remember to do that!š¤ Everyone has a hard time doing things!š¤ You just have to do it! š¤
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u/Its_Buddy_btw 1d ago
"everyone forgets something every now and then!"
I have literally left the house for work or school back then without a life saving medical device that's fused to my ass cheek...
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u/Soulpaw31 1d ago
Fucking for real. My problem has to do with motivation/executive dysfunction issues and when i try to explain like my body actively fights me from working/doing chores because its not mentally stimulating enough for me, people will be all like āaw yeah i get like that sometimes, like i wanna just laze around my house all day but we got work to be done ya know?ā And im like NO!!! Its not about being fucking lazy!!! My body physically fights me doing mentally unstimulating tasks to the point that i actually start to get restless, irritated, and frustrated. Thats not fucking laziness
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u/rebelli0usrebel 1d ago
I get the feeling that a lot of people getting diagnosed with adhd these days might not actually have it too. They do not relate to the struggles and are fine without meds.
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u/BandanaWaddleDee0 1d ago
"Just focus"
Mfer I am focused just on every object in this room, and all the tiny useless details that YOU normally get auto-filtered out from your perception but take for granted
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u/snow_leopard155 1d ago
āI can never find the motivation to do things eitherā as I struggle to even force myself to take the medication that helps me get anything done
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u/Fragrant_Choice587 1d ago
In 2018? Only that time in 2018?! Why, I lost a count of times I forgot my phone and id card inside my dorm AND some of those times happened after having showered in communal bathroom, standing in front of my door in my towel wrapped body during freshman yearā¦not fun.
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u/dooit 1d ago
I forgot my ADHD meds this morning.
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u/mechchic84 1d ago
Better than accidentally taking it twice and then calling the doctor to make sure you're going to be alright. I bought a pill dispenser with the days of the week on it after that one. Good news is I forgot to take it enough times that I didn't have to worry about running out early.
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u/Excellent_Credit5981 1d ago
this exasperates me because only my adhd brain can forget my wallet three times in one weekend and then hyperfocus on finding it for hours
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u/MileHiSalute 1d ago
Just remember, itās something you have, not who you are. Theyāre not trying to claim your identity or invalidate you, theyāre simply trying to relate. If itās a person you love and care about, just talk to them and tell them how you feel. If itās not someone you love and care about, who cares? Of course itās annoying, but I promise that we have annoyed and irritated others in our lives too, because thatās just what humans do.
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u/-ThesuarusRex- 18h ago
As I sit here, scrolling for an hour since 5am while my wife sleeps because we get up to feed our animals at 4:30 every day and she can get back to sleep no problem. Meanwhile, I still have 45 minutes until it's time to get ready for work.
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u/sjokkendesjaak 1d ago
A gem from my dad. Who told me to just use tools to deal with it. And when I asked Wich ones he said they are probably ways to help manage better like thanks man that will work wonder for me
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u/Smokin_belladonna 1d ago
When the stims start giving me anxiety it all comes crashing down and I need to sleep for 14 hours.
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u/VulpineWelder5 1d ago
That's the equivalent of telling someone who just opened up about their extremely and extensively abusive childhood and saying "yeah, I can relate. My dad punched me once and it hurt like crap. I'll never forget it!"
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u/AdAfraid9504 18h ago
Everyone experiences adhd, when they are really tired, maybe very stressed and overwhelmed with something. People with adhd gotta deal with it 24/7 =(
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u/ConnectReading1928 1d ago
I feel like this sub has become unbearable with these kinds of posts. It's literally just complaining about others and Twitter posting and none of it is funny.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 1d ago edited 1d ago
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