r/adhdmeme • u/dinobot100 • May 27 '26
original content For neurodivergent parents who are tired of fighting with their kids - this can be a lifesaver!!
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u/MechanicPluto24 May 27 '26
I just fucking opened the app why am I being met with existential dread
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u/Baebel May 27 '26
To be perfectly honest, I feel like this is needed advice in 2026, for a lot of different reasons.
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u/Skeppy_4126 unmedicated AuDHD gang rise UP May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Make 'em laugh! make 'em laugh, don't you know everyone wants to laugh—?! HA AH
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u/Spiderbundles May 27 '26
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May 27 '26
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u/GiraffesAndGin May 27 '26
My SILs nephews were visiting years ago, and one of them is a little hellion (call him Z). My mother dealt with my brothers and I, so she was well-versed in handling. The nephews come over to my parents house for a meal, and Z is just being a little shit the entire time and won't eat, only focused on getting something sweet to drink.
So my mom pulls out her jug of Kool-Aid and says Z can have some if he eats his food. He takes one measly bite and grins smugly at her, "Ha, I'm smarter than you. I ate something. You have to give me some." My mom smirks and pours a miniscule splash into the glass. "And that's how much you get for that bite."
The look on his face was priceless. Like his whole world got turned upside down. So he tries again and takes another small bite, my mom pours another splash, and I see the gears in his head turning. After a minute, he starts scarfing down his food. When he finishes, my mom pours him a big glass of Kool-Aid and he smiles triumphantly to the table. "See! I got the Kool-Aid! I told you I was smarter!"
Gave me an appreciation of my mother's parenting skills as an adult.
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u/leafyjack May 27 '26
As a new parent, I'm taking notes.
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u/mCfloppydisk May 28 '26
PLEASE introduce lots of foods early or you end up with a picky eater with no exposure. Step kid is 7 and won't try mango :,)
Also dont co sleep, it took us a solid year or more to undo it.
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May 28 '26
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u/cyberpudel May 28 '26
He is tasting the love and care you put into making the fancy drink. Works as well with sandwiches.
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May 28 '26
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u/cyberpudel May 28 '26
So he doesn't get another one? Good.
Learning to live with consequences is a very good motivator. ;)
And I bet the dog loves him.
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u/Lynnrael May 28 '26
my parents fucked up in a LOT of ways but one of the things they did right was make sure to have me try a lot of different foods early on. i know i would have been a super picky eater without that and I'm glad i can eat and enjoy almost anything.
except shrimp cause shrimp is bugs
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u/Gilesalford May 28 '26
The kid was actually laughing and saying he was smarter than an adult multiple times? God what a little brat
Sorry :(
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u/Jeffotato May 27 '26
Teaching your kid how to trick the other parent into thinking they brushed their teeth, just make sure the toothbrush gets wet, make the sounds, using the toothbrush in your mouth can do that, and use toothpaste so they can smell it on your breath. Kid thinks they're cheating the system now.
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May 27 '26
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u/FungalFacilitator May 27 '26
You're either a bot trying to stir up crap or you have the reading comprehension of toddler.
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u/Astronaut_Chicken May 28 '26
My niece used to be the kind of kid who would constantly ask if we were "almost there". First I would tell her how many minutes away we were in terms of paw patrol episodes. If she kept at it I reminded her that every time she complained it made the car slowdown. Then I'd just let off the gas.
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u/molamolacrisis May 27 '26
Haha, I tried to do this with my niece but got death glares from both my SIL and brother 😅
Still, it works well with all the other kids!
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u/Pale-Teaching6392 AuDHD May 27 '26
Omg yes, if you frame things as ‘fun’ kids just assume it’s fun. Same thing for a punishment too. You can give them a mundane punishment and if you frame it as a punishment the kid will too. Doesn’t even need to be something you consider a punishment either. I’ve met a family that made wearing a hat into a punishment. You don’t need to hurt a kid to punish them. Framing is extremely powerful tool, and can do so much to avoid hurting kids. Please don’t hit your kids.
This kind of devolved into a rant about punishment but uh I’ll leave it. I think given how much more ND kids tend to be punished it’s still relevant anyway.
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u/Gonozal8_ May 28 '26
and if you frame common chores as a punishment, congrats your child will hate chores unnecessarily even when they’re adults
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u/Sandee1997 dafuqIjustRead May 30 '26
Tada I’m here! My mom used “I have a surprise for you at home!” And it meant i had laundry to do or chores to do. I hate surprises and chores now
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u/jamiecarl09 May 28 '26
To be fair, North Dakota kids deserve that punishment. They know what they did.
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u/MissinqLink May 28 '26
We threaten to tell our kids teachers when they misbehave at home. They are terrified of this idea even though it makes absolutely no sense.
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u/Dizzy_Database_119 May 28 '26
Be careful with things like punishing by making them wear a hat. This is considered punishment by humiliation and reinforces bullying, bad self esteem, social exclusion and many others. There is a lot of research on this and many reasons why it's a thing of the past. It's literally worse than locking them in a room
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u/TheAlbin0_ May 27 '26
Parents: ah, so I must make my child scream 10 times as often. This is excellent advice
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u/ConfusinglyCreative May 27 '26
You catch more flies with honey
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u/buffyinfaith May 31 '26
Scientifically speaking, vinegar will actually attract more flies. But I get your gist.
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u/SkewbieDewbie May 28 '26
I am a new dad and my boy is 7 months old. The best part of my day is coming home and hearing my wife say "who's that?!" And then I turn the corner to see my beautiful wife and smiling baby. Its unlike anything I've ever felt. Making him laugh, even if its just a silly noise, is everything to me.
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u/Beginning-Passenger6 May 31 '26
A belly laugh of a baby that age is like the best thing in the world.
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u/PokeChampMarx Always a good duck May 27 '26
I never put this together
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u/dinobot100 May 27 '26
Me neither! I've seen it countless times. But once you see it - it's soooo obvious lol
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u/existential_risk_lol May 27 '26
Well that was a kick in the nuts to read on a fucking Wednesday night
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u/Unlikely-Top-3714 ✨current hyperfixation: programming✨ May 27 '26
I don't get it
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May 27 '26
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u/LeviathanAstro1 May 27 '26
Well this makes another movie I'll need to go back and rewatch! Monsters Inc. was never a favorite of mine - good movie, absolutely no shade or disrespect here, just not one I loved - but now I might have to give it another shot.
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u/studoutbudout May 27 '26
It felt VERY heavy to me as a kid. Honestly Shrek used to hit a little too hard for me too back in the day too
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u/LeviathanAstro1 May 27 '26
The honor for "hit a little too hard" for kid me definitely went to Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", maybe I was just a bit too old to understand Monsters Inc. through the lens of a child when it came out, but wasn't quite mature enough to understand the overarching message.
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u/johjo_has_opinions May 27 '26
Lol the movie with a song about hell was too intense??
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u/LeviathanAstro1 May 27 '26
LOL I actually loved that sequence, for me it was the themes of isolation and prejudice that hit me hardest
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u/ThickRestaurant9045 May 29 '26
I was obsessed with that movie as a child, I wanted to be Esméralda. Some scenes were pretty disturbing, but they did teach me a lot of empathy. I kind of want to rewatch it now from an adult perspective
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u/RiskyClickardo May 29 '26
Pixar slaps, man, they do *not* mess around. Almost all their stuff is so layered and deep that every age can legitimately feel seen and like jokes are tailored to them specifically
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u/LeviathanAstro1 May 29 '26
I would probably say Encanto is, if not my favorite Pixar movie then definitely top 3, although the original Cars is up there too
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u/RiskyClickardo May 29 '26
Dang, i haven't seen that one yet! Or Moana--my 4yo said it was too scary when she started watching it at 3 1/2 so we still haven't watched it yet lol. Excited that i've got some bangers to come!
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u/dinobot100 May 27 '26
Good summation. I love Monsters Inc and have seen it countless times but only when I was showing it to my kids recently did I actually realize what the “moral” was!
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u/awshuck May 29 '26
Fuck! I went my entire life not realising the movie was a metaphor. I even watched it with my kids, and I’m already in the mindset that kids will feed off your energy so it’s better to just have fun. Mind blown.
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u/DeathByLemmings May 27 '26
Took me a minute too
The whole point of Monsters Inc is that you will get better results from children if you provide them laughter rather than fear
I hadn't really considered the "point" of Monsters Inc before, but... yeah, that's what it's trying to communicate. It's beautiful really
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u/Unlikely-Top-3714 ✨current hyperfixation: programming✨ May 27 '26
Oh! I recognized the character, but haven't seen the actual movie, thanks 😅
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u/BoonDragoon May 27 '26
Motivating children with positive engagement is good. Controlling them with fear is bad.
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u/Dizzy-Secret-2094 May 27 '26
🫂 This can be generally applied to all life forms. How many do you think would really be a fan though?
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u/moogs_writes May 28 '26
And it worked for me, too. I gave my kid the ADHD™️, where I was the undiagnosed and super quiet, agreeable and well behaved child (bc masking), I taught him he doesn’t have to mask. Ended up with the “problem” 5 year old who hit, screamed and couldn’t stand anyone looking at him. We tried everything the parenting books said, which didn’t work (obviously). It was literally just spending time with him, bonding, coming to him and expressing the desire to be with him without seeing him as his symptoms that made the difference.
And yes, lots and lots of laughter. I wish I could accurately express to you guys how wonderful, funny and intelligent my kid is. He’s awesome and I love him, he’s such a great little human.
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u/StillMarie76 May 28 '26
I have a similar anecdote. I'm dealing with pre-teen shrieking whenever I say or do anything. I do not focus on their tone of voice, just what they actually say. They're just a kid dealing with a lot of changes and don't always realize how God awful they sound. So, unless it's rude or disrespectful I no longer make a big deal out of tone of voice. It's saved my sanity at times.
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u/Alternative-Way1158 May 28 '26
Oh my goodness my son gets so annoyed with my constant laughing. I say well your lucky I'm not yelling at you 😂
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u/letsgoiowa May 28 '26
Maybe I'm just too tired but isn't that...the whole point of the movie
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u/dinobot100 May 28 '26
It 100% is and yet it took decades for it to click with me that they were making a point about how to raise kids IRL
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u/REM-IRAGE May 28 '26
Seriously tho! Raising my brothers was a nightmare at first, but getting them to laugh or being silly to get them to want to do something worked SO much better than the "traditional" way the spawn point did with anger. It's not always going to work but it makes it easier and is less traumatic.
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u/buffyinfaith May 31 '26
You never should have had to raise your brothers, but hopefully you are stronger for it.
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u/UVLightOnTheInside May 29 '26
I laugh at my nephews when they are demanding rude and selfish. Does that count?
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u/Magurndy May 30 '26
I’ve realised recently how my very likely autistic son is basically exactly like me. If he goes into meltdown, just have to leave him alone (safely) to calm down, then make him laugh or just be chill with him and he will do whatever you need him too. But it’s hard breaking free from the way your parents parent you and instead thinking about how you wanted to be treated as a kid and using that to instead parent effectively
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u/Pelli_Furry_Account May 28 '26
Did people not realize this? I thought that's what the whole movie was about.
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u/Echo017 May 27 '26
Laughing at ridiculous tantrums has proven about as effective at quelling the little persons rage as telling my wife to just calm down or reminding her that she is acting like her mother….
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u/dinobot100 May 27 '26
Disclaimer - ofc this doesn't always work. One of my kids can get so disregulated/destructive that you can't do anything but hold them in place until it's over
BUT
You don't laugh AT them, you make them laugh. "I wanna cry too, you make it look so fun! Waaahhh." Or you pretend if they bump you while upset it was a giant smack, "Psh! Owie owie owie!!" Or a favorite of my youngest, "If you don't stop, I'll punch you with the hardest punches in the world!" Then tap them as lightly as you can with a fist and act confused that it doesn't hurt.
Stuff like that! Obvs *ymmv
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u/AvatoraoftheWilds May 27 '26
Nobody is saying "laugh at your child" they're saying "make your child laugh"
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u/burrito_finger May 27 '26
Learning to lead with connection, not reaction. You’re reacting.
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u/moogs_writes May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
This was the solution for us! Connection, mindful Parent Training (PMT) -really just spending time 1:1 with your kid and allowing them to feel like you see them and not their symptoms. It’s a process, over time it really repaired our fractured relationship from when I was just reacting to him (bc of my own adhd an inability to see past my own stress in the moment).
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
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