You are so much more than your loss. You have hobbies, talents, stories, opinions, and a lifetime of experiences that make you uniquely you. This is your space to share them.

I wonder what it would be like to have a full night's sleep.

I'm pretty sure I haven't slept past 3 am since he died. None my pillows are comfy anymore. I fell asleep on his shoulder and was the little spoon for 30 years.

I don't even roll over. I sit up first and move my pillow and change positions. I've bought new pillows and they aren't right either. As an aside; did you know you are supposed to replace your pillow ever 18 to 24 months? Who knew.

Sleeping pills ruin the next day. I don't drink and smoking weed only helps a bit. Meditation at bedtime doesn't help.

Thank goodness I'm retired because I'm too tired and my brain is too sloggy to be a functional human being.

It’s been well over a year now that I’ve been in this state of misery. I wonder how long a person can continue like this. When the day comes that I do feel any sort of happiness will I feel guilty?

...in another subreddit. I am a huge lover of poetry and did not recall coming across this one when I last read Edna St Vincent Millay. I know I'm still quite early in the grieving process, but it still resonated.

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied   
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!   
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;   
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,   
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;   
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.   
There are a hundred places where I fear   
To go,—so with his memory they brim.   
And entering with relief some quiet place   
Where never fell his foot or shone his face   
I say, “There is no memory of him here!”   
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

(It doesn't have to be about food.)

I'm from the West Coast, he was from the East Coast. There were a lot of foods neither one of us had ever had.

I introduced him to tacos, and he introduced me to linguica stew.

I'm an adventurous eater. My husband claimed not to be picky, but he was.

He would only eat about 5, mostly canned, vegetables. He disliked Mexican food, except tacos and burritos. I love Mexican food. He hated casseroles.

I introduced him to some dishes he'd never had before that he ended up loving, like corned beef and cabbage.

In the past year, his appetite wasn't very good. He mostly wanted frozen dinners because the portions were small and he could eat them when he felt like it. I basically stopped cooking dinner.

There are many foods I love, but he wouldn't touch, so I didn't make them very often.

Last night I made a dish from scratch-ish, which I haven't done in a long time. Something I love but he hated, probably the most divisive dish of all time, tuna casserole.

It was delicious and felt so comforting.

I slept like a log. I had to shoo the cat away, but I made it to my 'normal' wake up time. I don't know if that heavy lump had anything to do with it, but it was nice not to wake up in a panic.

It is okay to keep their memory alive.

First of all, I am very sorry for my rambling I just find it hard to put into words.

 I lost my wife 3 years ago after being married to her for 45 years and they were very caring and loving years.

 I have not been with anyone since she passed. I find myself after this 3rd year being hard than the first two, every night going to bed I miss the feeling of her skin next to mine as we snuggle. It was like we were one person when we did and I missed that.

 I feel that I could never be married again, but you never know what the future is going to bring you. Is it possible to find someone that would also feel the need for the something?

 I feel at this point I think, I would like to find a widowed woman who had a husband that was very loving and caring to her as my wife was to me. So we can share our feelings and each of us would know that the other one would totally understand how the other one feels in the grief, pain and sadness that we feel from our loss.

I truly feel that only another widowed person can really understand my feelings.

 Someone that I could do things together so we can both talk about our feelings. Knowing that each of us can totally understand our feelings and maybe would be able to help each other.

 I’m not a very social person so I know that I do not socialize very much and that will make it difficult to find someone. So how do you do it?

 It is hard to say these things and hard to think it. I am 76 and kind of old-fashioned I feel you should be married to do these things, but I find myself all mixed up in my feelings.

 I hope it’s ok to ask questions but I’m just curious it seems like we can be free here. I think because we are in the same boat and could understand our feelings.

 That’s why I’m asking what do other people feel and think about this and have they experienced this themselves and what did they do?

 Thank you for your time and I am sorry for all of you who have lost your loved ones, and I know the pain and sadness that you’re dealing with. To all of you try and take care the best you can.

 I don’t think it’s wrong in how I feel but I’m just curious what other people think.

 I’m so confused in all my feelings, but I don’t know if other people feel the same way or have felt this way.

 I am trying to cope with all the emotions and feelings and to see what other people are experiencing.

 The love I had with my wife was that we were inseparable. All we wanted to do is be together holding hands everywhere we went and going for rides. We loved each other in any and every way we could.

 We just love being together more than anything else. We didn’t need other people we had each other and that’s all we needed and that’s all we wanted. I still feel that I’m not very social. I don’t care to be around a lot of people I just like things quiet and peaceful.

 The loss of my wife is more than I could ever have imagined but after reading other people’s stories on here I do feel I’m not alone and it does help some.

Pure joy thread. No grief required.

Are there things you won't miss?

When we moved here, I told him he could smoke in the house. That was a mistake. I won't miss the smoke smell. He confined it to his computer room with an open window and a fan, but it was still overwhelming.

For me specifically it’s taking care of the gas powered machinery. The mower and weed eater. Getting the oil changed in the car. Small repairs around the house. I know I can do this stuff I’m just not thrilled about it. I’m thankful that I have a place to live, but it starts to feel overwhelming.

Thank you so much, I think being here has done a lot for my mental state.

Learning that the thoughts and feelings I'm having seem to be normal, I'm not the only one going through it.

Just for today, I don't feel so hopeless. Maybe tomorrow I won't either.

I don't know. I guess I am. I'm managing to feed myself, even though I'm not that hungry. I drink a lot of water, so I'm hydrated. I shower. I do the laundry. The cat is still alive.

I have no idea what taking care of myself means right now.

My brother and his wife died. My Spouse died. My mother died. My grand aunt died. Another brother's wife died. My aunt died. Thank goodness I really only had to deal with the aftermath of Spouse dying. I wouldn't have been able to handle more.

I’m usually up too early. I take care of the cats, have my coffee look at my phone for a while then check the clock to see how much time I have left for the day. Lots of clock watching. If I’m not doing chores I try to get out somewhere for a walk. Later is fixing a nice meal and watching my shows later in the evening to distract my mind. I feel like I need to be doing something more meaningful, but this is the best I can do for now.

I lost my husband from cancer complications Nov.21/25.

We were work friends for 10yrs before we got together in 1994.

Loosing him was devastating. I'm retired thank goodness because I could not have functioned. I'm in awe of folks that have to try and work and raise kids and still grieve.

After 30 + years together I'm finding this difficult. Maybe its my age but I will never remarry or put myself in the position of feeling this kind of desolation. I'm surprised most days that I haven't died from a broken heart 💔

I (61m) lost my beautiful bride (56f) this past July. She was my world and it's impossible right now to imagine carrying on without her. I know this feeling is natural as I am so very newly embarked on this grief journey. I remind myself each day of how grateful I am for the 18 years we spent together and that I was the one she chose with whom to spend those years, but pain of her absence makes the thought of even one year without her almost unbearable.
I miss you so much, my beautiful Marie Noel 💔😢.

She was my world and now isn't. There won't be a replacement because the world changed too much over the last 45+ years with the internet dating.

I try to keep the suck away by only remembering all good things about her and that just makes it suckier...

Widowed almost 7 years. Married my junior high sweetheart. We were a couple no one thought would make it because we married so young. 15 and 17 but we fooled them.

Thnx for starting this group, I hope it’s ok I’m 59 (just a few months until 60). My wife (56) passed 6wk ago suddenly, no results yet which is hard not knowing what happened. Thinking with others in this age group there will be some challenges and experiences a little more aligned w where I (& we) were at in life. She passed a month prior to our 33rd anniversary, hitting that day without her was so difficult.

There are a lot of 'firsts' coming up for me. One a month until February.

My husband died 5 weeks ago on a Monday. Mondays are hard.

This past Monday was also my birthday (62). The first one without him in 28 years.

Next month is Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then his birthday in January.

Does it get better?

Be gentle with me while I figure this out.

I would love to have some co-mods, to do this with.