I have seen many communities on FB and here be inundated with the parents of mil members and respectfully, Imma need y'all to step back.

As a spouse of over 18 years, with my person for over 21 years...we do not have the same experiences. If you were/are a spouse of a mil member, please, give THAT advice.

But. For the parents trying to speak on behalf of their children's experience, just please stop. Recognize your children are separate humans AND ADULTS AT THIS POINT and you likely get a VERY different POV than a spouse or significant other.

Also, y'all are not USMilitarySO .... So.

Hello, I’m looking for advice from women/spouses who may have experienced something similar or who are knowledgeable about this type of situation.

My ex-husband and I were both active-duty military. I eventually deployed while he moved to his next duty station. While he was there, he hooked up with another woman that he already knew and began a relationship with her. This woman also knew about me And I believe she was an instructor along with him also. He eventually moved in with her and told me he no longer wanted to be married because we had been separated for so long and had already been experiencing difficulties in our marriage before he received his next assignment.

Long story short, we both agreed that I would leave the military in hopes that we could work on our marriage and make things better. However, he never told me about the other woman. I only discovered their relationship online. When I confronted him about it, he filed for divorce stating that I was “making things up and acting crazy” without my knowledge or involvement. I was never given the opportunity to sign the paperwork or respond before the divorce was finalized. I found all of this out a week after I got out of the military and now I feel completely lost.

In the divorce decree, he claimed that we had not communicated or attempted to reconcile in the previous two years, which is completely false. He also allegedly withheld the divorce paperwork from me until the 60-day period to object had passed, leaving me feeling as though I had no opportunity to defend myself or challenge the information he provided.

Now, I feel like I have no options. On top of everything else, he has kept all of my military awards and plaques, along with the furniture and decorations I purchased and contributed to our home. He is refusing to return any of my belongings.

I’m trying to figure out what, if anything, I can do at this point. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation, particularly in Virginia? Is there a way to challenge a divorce decree if the paperwork contained false statements or was withheld from one spouse? And is there any legal avenue for recovering my personal belongings?

I would genuinely appreciate any advice, resources, or recommendations for an attorney who handles these types of cases. Thank you in advance.

its been almost a month since my husband left. i need some words of encouragement if anyone has. i seen some pics of him posted to the website and he was talking to another sit but shes a woman and i cant help but feel jealous. i wish it were me. this milso life is so hard man i wouldn’t wish this on anyone

My man and I are moving to Guam. I have a small home-based business as a travel agent and virtual assistant. My business is licensed in two states. Have any of you done this? What was your experience? I've read that you can keep your US-based business license but I'm worried about not receiving important notices by mail. Also the time difference might make it difficult to talk to clients in real time.

hey guys, im a bit stressed out with everything me and my fiancé are going through and im seeking advice from fellow spouses. my fiancé recently graduated basic training USMC and is going to to his MOS school which is 6 weeks, we plan to officiate at the courthouse after he finishes school. im worried how long we wont be living together because he has to join his fleet and file all the paperwork for BAH and put me as a dependent, i am thinking about a couple of weeks to 2 months? idk but id love some advice from anyone willing.

I’m active duty Army and have a projected PCS to Germany. I’m a little confused about how command sponsorship works with the new IPPS-A/E-EFMP process.
During my IPPS-A Member Elections, I selected that my spouse would be traveling with me and completed the Command Sponsorship Acknowledgement. I was then directed to E-EFMP/FMTS for my spouse’s overseas medical screening.
My spouse completed the medical screening, EFMP determined she had no medical needs, and the package went through the Family Travel Office. I have now received an **“Approved Concurrent Family Travel Request”** for my spouse to my gaining location in Germany.
My PCS orders have **not been published yet**.
My question is: **Does the approved concurrent family travel mean the command sponsorship request has already been approved through this process, or is there still a separate command sponsorship action that MPD/Reassignments has to complete before my orders are published?**
Also, my spouse will actually join me later because she is finishing college overseas. Would changing from concurrent to deferred travel affect the command sponsorship, or is that only changing when she travels?
I’ve already contacted Reassignments for clarification, but I’m curious if anyone who recently PCS’d Army to Germany has gone through the same IPPS-A/E-EFMP process.

hi everyone!
my husband is currently in tech school (air force) and is graduating in 3 months, i’m really anxious for our first move considering all of his possible stations are insane distances from us lol. we’re both 19 and i have zero coordination or idea of what to expect for this, if anybody has advice please let me know!

Hello, so my bf just started in the military (3 weeks ago) and he’s so damn busy all the time. He barely has time to squeeze in a couple of minutes to text me. We’ve never been LDR before and pretty much have lived together for 2 years.

The hardest part honestly is that I feel like I am constantly bothering him and asking him to call me, when he has time etc.

Reading you other girls posts, you’re talking about not telling your partner you miss him, as you don’t want to add to his stresses. Or make him sad. I feel like I’m the only one who feels that way and I’m constantly telling him about it. And he just accepts it and lives with it. If I didn’t, I don’t think he’d even bat an eye more than usual.

I just feel like it’s so one sided and I’m a pain in the ass. That my need for communication is much larger than his.

Does this get better? I know it does but… I think my real question is: will he ever miss me? Or will it always be this one sided thing where he is too busy and distracted to even care to think about me.

hi guys! my bf is currently deployed right now and receive been feeling a bit isolated. my friends are amazing, don’t get me wrong. but none of them are in military relationships and just can’t relate when i’m talking about things (esp regarding this deployment). so! if your bf is deployed, let’s be besties !!
some info abt me: 21F, socal girlie, english major at csusm, take ballet classes, love to hike, embroider, cross stitch and read! if you want to talk, pm me PLEASEEEE and let’s be besties !!

Hi everyone,

I need some advice because this is my first military boyfriend and I’m still learning about deployment and long distance relationships.
My bf recently deployed on a ship, and I think I might be his first serious relationship too. Before he left, we had an argument about communication because I felt like we weren’t really connecting that deeply even before his deployment. had some concerns even before deployment that he wasnt trying to get to know me deeply, isn’t curious about my life and the talk is always about updates of what he’s doing or he would disappear for hours too which made me upset. He explained that he had a lot going on with work and getting everything ready before deployment.
During our conversation, he got really overwhelmed and started crying. I’ve never seen him cry before, and he told me he doesn’t usually cry or get emotional. He kept saying he didn’t want to lose me and didn’t want me to leave him because he loves me. He also said he was really stressed trying to balance everything before leaving. Afterward, he apologized for freaking out and screaming, and we talked things through. We still told each other we loved each other before he went to work.
Now that he’s deployed, I keep worrying that the argument might have changed how he feels about me or made him reconsider our relationship. I feel bad because I keep thinking I added more stress when he already had so much going on.
For anyone who has been in a military relationship, am I overthinking this? Is it normal for emotions to get this intense before deployment, especially when it’s both of our first serious relationships? Because I can’t stop beating myself up for making him cry. I’d really appreciate a second opinion. 💗

I’ve been in a relationship for four years, and my partner recently deployed.

I thought I had made peace with where things stood between us, but I’m finding that I haven’t. I’m angry, and I’m trying to understand why it has taken me this long to acknowledge it.

The deployment and the lack of daily contact make it harder to ignore what I’ve been feeling. I suppose I believed that after four years, there would be some tangible symbol of our commitment to one another. Something that represented what we’ve built and what we mean to each other, particularly as we face a period of separation.

I’m not looking for grand gestures or promises made under pressure. I believe commitment should be something we choose freely, and that meaningful commitments have meaning beyond words.

Perhaps what hurts is realizing that I was waiting for something I thought would come naturally with time.

For those of you who have navigated military relationships, how important is it to you that commitment be represented by something tangible, rather than existing only in words and feelings?

My boyfriend of 2 years is about to leave for his next orders and I'm not sure how to tread such an unfamiliar path. I live in Oahu, Hawaii, born and raised, and if you didn't already know, this island is a hotbed for everything military related. 5 out of 10 people you come across are 100% more than likely in it. And even if I have family members who were in the military, l've always been told to be wary of being with one.

But i genuinely believe I lucked out with my significant other when I met him. He is not the stereotypical guy that you imagine when you think of someone that's in the military. He is so kind, funny, caring, charismatic, and i think it says a lot when his friends are also the same. He's very down to earth, he's open to new experiences, accepts my culture with such love and curiosity and so much more. I could keep going but in short, I love and adore this man. And when we first met, he was already about to be 2 years in his orders so I knew we didn't have a lot of time. But we ignored how foolish it almost is to pursue the relationship regardless because we had a good thing going. He still has a good year and a half left here but we're getting to the point of him preparing for the big move and it's left me feeling anxious.

The issue lies with the fact that I am very deeply rooted in this place. My whole life is here: my family, friends, my career is just starting. It's almost hard to explain if you don't know somebody who lives here or has experienced the culture we have here because It might just seem like I have "no sort of independence" or
"too reliant on the familiar." On one hand, I can say it with my chest that I love this man and he loves me too, but is that enough that I should have to leave my entire life behind for him? Am I a bad person for coming to terms with the fact that I'm almost certain that I won't be going with him? There are nights where I just feel so anxious and depressed thinking about him leaving. I cry myself to sleep thinking that our days are numbered and it’s debilitating almost at most days.

We haven't had THE talk of what comes after and I was hoping to hear from women (or people in general) who are in the same boat as me and how they had the conversation, if they got through with it, if there's anything we can do. Or for some who unfortunately didn't have a happy ending, or at first but managed to find a way back in the end. Anything at all to let me know that I'm not the only who has gone/ is going through the same depressing situation. :(

With family day on my mind I was thinking about how I can best spend time with my wife. I was thinking once we are dismissed together we can go get food on base wherever she wants. Then head back to the hotel on base and just have quiet time to shower, nap, talk, decompress. Whatever she wants.

Is there restrictions on her going to a ON BASE hotel? Has anyone else done this? Army fort Leonard wood bct

Hello! My partner and I plan to elope before the end of the year. He is about to graduate AIT, then he has Airborne school. He has projection for Fort Bragg and given the information we have, they are likely to be his hard orders too.

If we elope during his leave (which would be after he has reported to his first duty station) would the military help with me moving or just him? Is it possible that they would help us PCS even if we marry shortly after he reports to his First Duty Station? What should we expect given the timing? What is the best way to go about everything? We're just curious for some advice and, hopefully, for some answers. Thank you in advance!

Hey marine milSOs! My boyfriend just shipped off to MCT after his boot leave + RA today. I feel so so much more sad seeing him leave now than when he left for boot camp. Did anyone else experience this? I tried understanding it a little more, and I think it's because boot camp was a more controlled event where I knew exactly where he was, when the next time I would be able to see him, and when he graduated. However, everything after MCT is a bit uncertain. I've learned that the military is VERY unpredictable and anything could happen in an instant. I guess it makes me feel a bit better knowing that he actually gets his phone now. Does anyone have tips or advice for navigating through the unknown?

hey guys! so my boyfriend is currently deployed and i’ve been getting some scary news from both him and outside news sources. for any of you guys who went through active combat deployments with your spouse, how the hell did you do it (especially with the limited contact that comes w it)? i’ve been doing great this whole deployment and now i feel like i’m just back to square one again. please give me any advice or help !! thank you :)

Honestly, just looking for advice! My person has been deployed for a while now and it’s my first deployment we have no contact. I don’t know where he is of course and he could be gone for up to a year. We already discussed about the no communication side while he’s gone, so this wasn’t a blindside. However, I’ve gone through literally the worst thoughts that you could have in your brain. I just need some type of advice to help me get through it. I’ve been working a lot, writing in a journal, spending time with friends, but I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy!

Hey guys, so just as the title says I am most likely pregnant. I’m 20f and this wasn’t in the cards for me. Basically I went to get my routine depo shot and I had to take a urine test to see if I was pregnant. Turns out it came back positive. I was in disbelief. They said the line was faint so I am getting a blood test soon to confirm and to rule anything else out.

I’m honestly so scared and have no idea what to do. Thankfully my boyfriend (20m) graduates bootcamp in 10 days but I don’t know how to tell him. He’s in marine bootcamp and has been gone for 13 weeks now so I am 13-16 weeks pregnant according to them.

I am a college student and me and my boyfriend have talked about marriage (we’ve been together 5 years) but I just don’t know what to do. I will tell him when I see him after his graduation but this is so scary. We’ve never wanted to have kids or anything like that. He knows I value my education and is supportive of any decision I choose but I’m so conflicted.

I told my mom since I felt as I didn’t have anyone to turn to and she’s supportive of me but in the sense that I keep the pregnancy. I told her my concerns about my school and health (I should note that I have a chronic illness and autoimmune disease) and she just dismisses that; and says God blessed me with a baby. Although I am a believer of God I have always been pro choice. But I just can’t seem to make a choice for myself unfortunately. It’s hard to make a decision. I just don’t want my life to be ruined by having a kid but I’m honestly scared I won’t go through with an abortion.

I’m honestly just really alone and I wish I could talk to my boyfriend but I cant. If you have any advice please share. Anyone who’s been in similar situations please share as well, and what you decided to do and if you are happy with your choice.

Hi all,

My husband is in the Army and I have some questions regarding finding an overseas job.

1) What kind of jobs are typically available? I'm currently in a remote job working for a healthcare company and have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Information Systems.

2) Where to start looking? Are USAJOBS (like NAF/GS positions) or base exchanges (AAFES/NEX) the main options, or are there other reliable remote/local platforms?

3) What does the timeline look like to secure a job by the time we finish the PCS? We are looking at either Korea or Germany as a next duty station.

My husband and I are getting a divorce, we're trying to have an agreement on how we're gonna split custody without having to go to family court, the only thing we can't agree on is when he has the kids during holidays he want to take them to his extended family which is a 9hrs drive, plus I don't trust them around kids. Should take it to family court? All I want is our children's safety but he's trying to convince me they'll be he won't let anybody watch them...but I don't believe him.

One of his brothers is a rapist currently in jail, and another one had sexually harassed a young girl but not in jail, they kept it a secret plus it's close to the border.

Are these enough reason to take it to family court?

Hey everyone!
My wife is currently at Fort Leonard Wood for BCT and is expected to graduate in early December. She’s a 68W (Combat Medic) in the Army National Guard, so she’ll be heading to Fort Sam Houston for AIT afterward.

I’m trying to plan flights and figure out when I’ll actually be able to see her, but I’ve been getting a ton of conflicting information.
Here’s what I’m confused about:

Time between BCT and AIT: I’ve heard that sometimes soldiers have a gap between graduating BCT and starting AIT. If that happens, would she be sent home temporarily, especially since she’s National Guard? Or would she remain at Fort Sam Houston as a holdover until her class starts?

Billeting during AIT: I’ve had people tell me that because we’re married, I can stay on base in billeting and potentially spend nights with her during the week. Others have told me that she won’t be allowed to stay overnight with me at all during AIT, even if I’m staying on base. Does anyone know how this actually works for married 68W trainees?

Weekend visits: If I fly down to Texas during her AIT, will she be allowed to spend weekends with me or stay overnight at a hotel? Does this change as she progresses through training?

Christmas/Holiday Block Leave: Since she’ll be graduating BCT in early December, how likely is it that she’ll get to come home for Christmas before or during AIT? Would she have to use leave days?

Planning flights: I’m trying to book flights early to save money, but I don’t want to book anything until I have a better understanding of her schedule and what she’s actually allowed to do.
I’m really hoping to spend as much time with my wife as possible while she’s at AIT. Being apart for months has been difficult, and I’m just trying to figure out what to realistically expect.

If anyone has recently gone through 68W AIT at Fort Sam Houston, especially as a married soldier or National Guard member, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience!
Thanks in advance!

​

Hi everyone,

​I’m hoping to get some insight from those familiar with shipboard life or communications during deployment.

​My partner was deployed on short notice a few weeks ago (we had previously experienced a regular deployment). During his last deployment, we communicated via email and WhatsApp whenever he had connectivity, and my WhatsApp messages would only deliver (double checkmarks) when he actually had Wi-Fi or cell service.

​However, for the past month and a half, I’ve noticed a pattern that's new to me: every WhatsApp message I send delivers instantly (double grey checkmarks), but none are ever read/opened.

​As a civilian, I’m a bit confused about how this works technically or operationally:

​Is it common for phones to stay connected/charging in a locker or shipboard location where background push notifications go through, even if sailors aren't allowed or able to access their personal devices?

​Is this a typical network behavior on certain ships or under specific OPSEC conditions?

​I'm mostly trying to understand if this is normal tech/shipboard behavior before reaching out to his family, since I live abroad and haven't met them yet and don't want to cause unnecessary concern.

​I would really appreciate any insights on how phone connectivity behaves in these situations. Thank you so much for your time!