Hello there! Sorry for the life story but I’m just tired and don’t know what to do. Also sorry for the possible bad story telling, this is the first time I’m writing something like this out. I’m a nonrate currently at a station, I’m about 6 months in and I’m honestly confused about what to do at this point, I’ve never been a person to do the wrong thing on purpose or knowingly doing the wrong thing, but the bm2s mainly cuss a lot at me and overall just treat me like I’m less of a human, and I’m really tired of it. I talked to my XO and to summarize what he said was basically “that’s the nonrate experience” and “they are just protecting you from me” which I guess fair enough? But most of the things I mess up is not even like a big deal at all, like one time I ended being almost late, for me I always show up around 7:45 (15 mins early) my alarm had not gone off so I ended up getting to the station around 7:55 and to me I was already annoyed bc that’s late to me so I was kind of stressed already cuz of that. Little bit of background, for our off going and oncoming section days, we schedule people for watch the day of and the new watchstander relieves the off going watchstander after boat checks are done, I had forgot about the boat checks and ended up changing out and went to relieve the watch stander (mind you I hadn’t had morning watch in probably 2-3 weeks so I forgot boat checks came first and then reliefs, also there is like 25 other people in totally that do the boat checks for like 3 boats so there wasn’t like an URGENT need for me to be there, not saying I’m too good for boat checks but it wasn’t like an emergency I be there) I had realized my mistake and went to do boat checks, they hadn’t finished so I hopped on and continued boat checks, bm2 came down and told me that I showed up “late at 8:05” which I told him wasn’t true and he told me I was lying and he said if I messed up with the watch stuff again I would get a page 7. and I had already at this point been yelled at pretty much every day for random little things that I either 1. Didn’t know in the first place, or 2. I had already been so stressed out from the constant yelling that I forgot about it. And don’t get me wrong I understand that “oh you’ve done it all bootcamp so it should be no problem” and my response to that is yeah… but that’s BOOTCAMP they are SUPPOSED to yell at you that’s their job, to me they were degrading me without a real reason, I’ve been constantly told things like “use your brain” “you can’t be this stupid” “this shit is so easy” so it just feels like unnecessarily cruel? It had even got to the point where my name was called on the intercom so often, that I had subconsciously associated someone saying my name with me being in trouble. :/ which as you can imagine is probably not a great. It really sucks too because without saying I’m perfect or anything, I’d like to consider myself pretty nice, I’m always warm and welcoming to new faces to the station, always trying to help them figure out things, because I understand how it feels to be on your own away from family potentially figuring out life after high school (I’m 18) and I don’t want people to feel alone in navigating that. That being said I don’t understand why I’m being treated this way, I try my very best at everything and ask questions every time I don’t understand and most times people don’t even want to help me, I had failed my watch board because they asked me questions about things I wasn’t aware I had to know, and come to find out not only did other people not get asked those questions at all, everyone on the board was aware that I “was f***n terrible” and not a SINGLE one of them came and helped me after the board, I’m not saying everyone needs to be best friends with me but come on. You see another HUMAN BEING, let’s put away rank for a second, another SOUL clearing struggling with something and NOBODY helps them? Aren’t we supposed to be a team? And to this day most times I ask for help 8/10 the don’t end up helping me. We have a new bm2 from the other section and I thought it would be better, but it’s just as bad as before, he yelled at me and cussed at me because I “had an attitude and need to put away my ego” the reason he said that? Because I told mk3 who was running me through a preboard that I knew the answer to the question he asked but didn’t understand the way he worded the question. BM2 doesn’t know anything about me but got mad at me over something he came up with in his own head, instead of asking me either to clarify or even inform me of how I could have been potentially coming off as, it just straight to cussing and yelling at me. There’s so much more too but I think this is a good stopping point. Thank you for reading all of this, I’m getting really fed up and tired of this treatment, just wondering if anyone else is having a similar experience or maybe any advice? I understand the whole “obey orders and don’t talk back” but it’s getting really difficult to tolerate straight up lack of human decency or empathy.