Hey ,I just wished we would post more stuff that isnt saying "look at this person or this person"

I wish we would post positive stuff in an while ,or how we can explain to non transmeds about us, and why we think like that. Or heck idk man! Anything but always focusing on tik tok ppl.

“You can be a man/like men and be a lesbian.”

“You don’t need any qualifications to be trans./you can be comfortable in your assigned sex at birth and still be trans.”

These are just outside groups demanding they be included into labels that were originally used to be a concise description that helps find other people in your group. But now, I could say I want to get to know other trans people, and instead of meeting other men and women who have similar experiences and struggles as me, I am met with incredibly hostile people who think transness is defined by how nonconformist, victimized, or quirky you are. More so, they treat it as a lifestyle, a choice, or something they find attractive or fun.

Setting a true boundary on what is trans and what isn’t trans is not gatekeeping. That is a term to describe unrightfully denying someone something. But what is unjust about simply saying “you don’t apply to this label, sorry.”?

Because true lgbt people have been discriminated against and genuinely gatekept from broader communities, many don’t know how to balance acceptance with being compliant in the degradation of community, labels, and lived experiences. That has led to the uptick in recent years (primarily since 2020) of this radicalized view of acceptance, which has garnered such prominent authority in mainstream leftism and queer culture, that you’re seen as conservative, pathologizing, or bigoted for not subscribing to it.

Stop diluting these labels, they are just worthless now.

Diminishing solidarity and infighting has always existed in the lgbt community but it’s worse now than ever, because there’s people who aren’t even what they claim to be invading in on our, and other marginalized spaces, and hyper-compliant queer culture rewards these attitudes. Being medically and socially grounded gets you labeled as a pick-me or a self-hating transsexual. When I know being trans isn’t defined by suffering, but in no world will it ever be easy.

P.S. I’m sure this is a cold take at best here, so I’m sure many posts echo this same sentiment. But I felt like I had to share it.

Why is it, that I see so many trans men, trans boys, transmascs or whatever they call themselves, be into interests, that are predominantly the interests of teenage girls (no hate to teenage girls y'all).

Yea, there are men with interests that are more common in women. But still, if you look at the overall trend, men tend to have these interests and women tend to have these other interests. So why is it, that I see a really big number of trans males, being into things that most teenage girls are? If we go from the theory that trans men should have male brains, they should also tend to have typically male interests. For example, I see a big number of "transmascs" being into yaoi, webtoon, character ai, fanfiction, shipping (specifically gay couples), being on pinterest, tumblr and so on. Sure, there are very few cis men that also have those interests. But why is the number of trans men that engage in such interests so big? It may be a hot take, but for a big number of those people, I doubt that they're really trans. Honestly, it's so bad, that I can sometimes clock someone from looking at their reddit profile and seeing the communities they engage in

Edit after I read the comments: I think I could have worded my post better, but my point wasn't that men can't do/like feminine things and vice versa. My point was, that in general, men have the tendency to like masculine things and women have the tendency to like feminine things. For the individual it gets more complicated, but in general, things just are like that, cause of brain stuff and hormones and also societal biases too obviously. And of course there are things that both men and women equally enjoy. But there are also hobbys that are dominated by men or women. My point was, that trans men should have pretty similar tendencies to interests naturally in general, because both should have the tendency to more masculine things due to the fucking brain structure. So I find it odd, to see a lot of trans men (online, I don't know it's in real life) to have more feminine tendencies/interests and are in fields with a lot of cis girls (in general obviously again). I just think it's a bit odd, okay? And I actually wanted an answer to this phenomenon, cause my own explanation was that most of them can't actually have male brain structures, because of how many tend to like feminine things, in general. I just find it weird, in a statistical way. Obviously it doesn't matter if one trans man likes to read fanfictions, but if there are way more trans men that cis men in one interest, that is dominated by cis women, it is truly a bit weird, at least for me, alright?

Has anyone had any luck in the USA getting the court room closed and circumventing posting an ad in the news paper? Specifically rural Pennsylvania.. I live in a very, VERY conservative area and I'm not comfortable putting a target on my back. I've considered using my sisters address in another state as it's safer there, however this option would be very expensive.

So I'm 17M and got my new birth certificate today. Correct name and gender. Took nearly a year and I'm glad it's done. Today was supposed to be a great day. I was waiting on this for so long. It was supposed to be great where I could try to forget my dysphoria for a short amount of time. The thing is my caretaker sent me a picture of my new birth certificate because it hasn't reached me yet (might take a few hours or another day). When she sent me that text the first thing she called me 'miss (last name)' even though she knows I'm trans for 4 years or so, knows I want to be a man and knows I really really struggle with this. I just feel like no matter what I'm going to do I'll never be seen as a man. I should be happy that I changed my name, which I kind of am, but I feel like the hurt and pain is never going to stop. It's never going to change and when no one else sees me as a man why should I even continue with this life?

I want to get into zoology or wildlife biology after high school, I'm in a very conservative state and cannot get a hold of T here, so I have to resort to out of state. The problem is that it's so hard finding an affordable college that offers either of those degrees and is in a blue state and I'm just so stressed. I need to get on T asap because I can't take it anymore I'm on the verge of just ending it. I didn't ask to be this way, I don't know what to do and it just hurts so much.

It’s been 2 years sense that post and he/it still presents fully fem. I really think people wait and stay presenting fully fem cuz they think T will make them a man, not knowing how much you need to work on yourself to make it happen

I am 4 months and 20 days on T, I was really dysphoric pre T and suicidal. I still have days where i feel dysphoric even tho im on T now and having good changes.
But the last few days i been freaking myself out thinking im faking because i cant make myself dysphoric.
it sounds strange but I am chill and not really dysphoric when i think of myself being a girl my stomach doesn’t drop anymore and i don’t immediately get upset at my own thoughts(usually intrusive)

I know I do need to transition but im basically being dumb about my dysphoria because Its been there for almost my whole life and now im kinda chill about it so its freaking me out a bit. I pass for the most part and T is still doing its job so i feel good about how I look and sound and somehow thats making me think its a false sense of hope or means something bad(like me faking)

She was a beautiful trans girl, only 16, with a whole life ahead of her. My talented little angel, the last time I’ve seen her was the day that she was in her new skirt. She was so happy about it, but so sad inside. I’ve tried my best to help her, transphobia is cruel, being trans is cruel, my heart can’t even comprehend it now. I just wish that every trans person could find their own peace, there is still time, it’s not too late, your life matters even if you think it doesn’t. Rest in peace, Ashley, you were everything to me.

when someone says that long and/or dyed hair, makeup, piercings, femenine clothing, femenine-leaning alt style, etc. doesnt help you pass you will ALWAYS see someone who says “cis guys also do those things and no one tells them they’re girls”

it’s because they ALREADY LOOK MASCULINE. they would be seen as men even with a dress on.

some of us pre-hrt have to cope a little more to pass and some of us understand how a third party perceives us. ofc you can care more or less of passing but you can’t say you could pass just because a cis man does knowing that people view man and woman as different presenting genders.

also they always do this in posts where people who actually want to pass are seaking for help, alongside something along the lines of “not everyone wants to pass”; well I do.

I just saw Dr Laura (Canadian trans woman) post about someone claiming trans people revert to born gender when they get dementia.

I’m in my 40s so not dealing with that, but I will say I have since getting married experimented with psychedelics including getting to levels that include “ego death” and I have never had anything that included any confusion about me being a girl/ woman. Same with my partner doing the same drugs.

Anyways just some thoughts in this vein! And dr Laura food for thought for you if you use this sub!

Hello everyone, so I'm 17M and I've been talking to this girl 16F, she's cis and doesn't know I'm trans, at least I've never told her.

We started talking recently and have a date later this week but I have this horrible anxiety if I tell her im trans she'll stop wanting to talk to me or tell everyone

I'm completely stealth and whenever I get asked about things like that (still have a high voice) I say i have a medical condition and I dont talk about it (which isn’t exactly a lie)

She's not homophobic or anything of the sort, she hangs around openly trans people too but being friends and dating is a completely different thing

People in relationships, when did you tell your partners and how should I even go about saying it?

Any help appreciated

How? They talk about it like it's like taking Tylenol. It is a HORMONE that OVERRIDES processes in your body like.. it's not a game

I understand that HRT can become temporarily inaccessible for some for uncontrollable reason but I’m talking about "trans men" that "just forget" or "I didnt care much" or " idk why I've on T for 5 years and I still don't pass.. I often skip my shots" well shit.

Don't they feel like shit? I had to stop HRT a month a few years ago and that was the most horrible transition related experience Ive had, I felt so horribly both physically and mentally mood swings, nausea, vomits, extreme dysphoria, zero energy, felt completely disgusting in all kinds of ways

If you mindlessly and carelessly skip your HRT.. do you even have dysphoria?

Being trans is a serious thing, some teens medically transition, it doesn't happen often but it does happen and that shouldn't happen until they're like 19 or 18 or at oldest 20. Here's comes my theory: y'know the feeling of being in the wrong body, body dysmorphia, some parents might tell their children that they can't drink out of a certain cup because its a pink cup/blue cup and tell them they can't dress a certain way because it's for boys/girls. When that happens, the child thinks "if i was the opposite gender, I could do drink water using the pink cup/blue cup". The parents might do this whole process except with other stuff that boys usually play with or girls usually play with.

(m22) i'm almost 3 weeks out from top surgery (di w fng), i can already feel my genital dysphoria getting worse by the day.

my insurance already covered TS & hysto, gonna get hysto either march or september '27, kinda depends on my boss since i already missed a lot of my job training

since i'm gonna be at home for another 6 weeks, i thought why not get into the habit of stretching the t growth, to help lessen dysphoria and to (hopefully) have more length and "material" for a surgeon to get a good meta surgery result.

i won't be able to get meta for another 2 years minimum

the questions;

was anyone able to lessen their dysphoria with enhancing growth?
did it help with getting meta?
did you gain length?
how did you overcome dysphoria to get into a stretching/pumping routine?

I hate being a transsex boy (I'm only saying boy because I'm 14) and having a body like mine. I've been trying hard to lose weight, but every time I look in the mirror and see just how big my chest is, and how abnormally wide my hips are, I just feel like dying.

It's like I'm being forced to watch my body rot and decay and not being able to do anything about it because my family is very unsupportive of everything and only agreed on a medium compression binder which does nothing.

I see all the other boys my age and I wonder why God had to fail me so badly. They all have deep voices and are growing tall and have flat chests and male parts and I have nothing. My voice is squeaky and I'm 5'7 (which I should be grateful for but I can't find it in myself to be) and I have fucking G cups and I have female female female genitalia.

I wish I could switch places with a tucute. At least then i wouldnt have any dysphoria. I hate it here. I have 4 more years until i can medically transition and i dont think i can make it

Live in Australia,

Recent enquriy around out Sex discriminstion laws focused on protecting Transwomen from becoming "potentially pregnant".

Im sure they were meant to say Trans men.

Even then the comment are full of hate because of how twisted the wording is.

Feeling the need to clarify, yeah im sure they probably mesnt transgender men, but actual Transexuals eouldnt touch pregnancy within a 100ft pole feels insane.

People take whatevers on social media as real life truth is insane.

AI has made people so stupid its not even funny. Even at my job, i attempt to resolve an issue and i get a 40page ChatGPT essay with impossible request and i want to turn around and call them an idiot and refuse to give them a suitable resolution because theyd rsther spend 30 mins writing a prompt than an email in their own words but i digress.

Hate the progression of the world.

the title is basically the whole summary of my little rant here. every single time i see a video of a tucute not passing and someone misgendering them, there is always at least one person saying ‘sex and gender are two different things’ and blah blah blah, usually continuing with ‘gender is a social construct’ or whatever. i guess its medically and scientifically correct, but saying that to random people is honestly so weird. its just a little reminder that ill never be an actual man, even to those little tucutes who supposedly accept everyone (except the people who go against their beliefs, cough cough transmeds).

EDIT: you people arent getting the point. im talking about how tucutes always blurt it out at the worst times. i saw a video on tiktok about some girl talking about hating transmeds, directed towards ftm transmeds, and saying that sex and gender are two different things and how trans men will always be a woman no matter what because thats how sex works. doesnt that feel humiliating? im not looking for the answer to what i already know, sex and gender ARE two different things, as i stated in my post, im just annoyed that tucutes use it for every single argument and im tired of being told it. its labeled as rant and not discussion for a reason, its my rant on how i feel.

Like her content is pure bait, idc if she was on T it's legit for the attention, genuinely just wants to be "shielded" under a label or actual bait.

Recently got this video recommended to me, I was curious so I watched it. I personally didn't really like everything what was said in it (and what was said in the videos description). It's an interesting point of view, but nearly all of the comments fawn over how great everything in the video is and how nice it is that the creator of the video isn't using her detransition to go against trans people.

But I personally have some problems with it. The creator says that the informed consent model is unethical and should be abolished (in description). This ties into her belief that it's too easy to get medical care as a trans person, because of how easily she could access hormones and top surgery. She also says that HRT causes a hormone imbalance and that you won't pass, even after HRT, because of your skeletons shape (4:40). And "proves" her point with lions that had an hormone imbalance, to show that even after the imbalance (aka HRT in humans, according to her), the sexual dysmorphism will still be obvious (4:54).

What are your thoughts on this?

advice wanted / vent

so i am 18 dpo from top surgery DI + FNG, healing has gone well so far, no more scabs on the scars, just a little left on each nip.

last week, when i got the stitches removed, the surgeon also drained seromas on both sides. it was a big relieve, i had around 300ml total fluid underneath my skin

just one day after getting it drained, it started building up again, its been 3 days now and i'm so discouraged. i was so happy and now it looks and feels like breasts again, i'm gonna get it drained again next week

how long or how many punctuations did it take for you lose the seroma?

I'm 18ftm and I can't figure out a way for my girlfriend to pleasure me during sex.

She’s my first sexual partner, and I just have no idea how we’re supposed to feel good together when I don't have a penis. My flawed anatomy is killing me, and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. The classic hand motion people with my anatomy usually use to satisfy themselves doesn't work on me (we tried a few times, and it was so discouraging that I now avoid situations where my girlfriend might touch me). I do enjoy thrusting a lot, but again—my penis isn't long enough to make any use of it.

It's very depressing, i don't know what to do about it.

Please anyone, share with me the ways that worked for you, because I have no idea what to do. I'm scared that my lack will somehow distance me and my girlfriend