Just a reminder that all bodies are unique!

have any of y’all just been absolutely terrified the day before surgery? not about the surgery itself, but about it being cancelled? because i’m so anxious right now that i feel sick. like i genuinely don’t think i’m gonna be calm until it’s done, which is worrying bc my blood pressure was a concern and now i’m stressed that i’m going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and worry myself so much that it’s too high and it does get cancelled.

sorry, i’m rambling. if anyone has any memes or reassurance, that would be awesome. i’m so ready for this but wow am i stressed.

I had top surgery on Monday (also 4 days ago) and I was able today to get the reveal. I don't really know what to think. My surgeon told me they maybe didn't have to do a single incision but they in fact did. That doesn't bother me as much as the fact that they told me it's because of me being so thin. It's always something I've been self conscious with and I HATE. I work out 4d/week but I have gastroparesis and cannot gain weight.

I'm completely depressed because I thought I would have looked more masculine but turns out it wasn't because of my chest. I'm on T 3 years from now and need desperate advice on how to look more masculine. I'm already on Minoxidil for hair, but it doesn't do much except for ingrown body hair.

And please be honest about this result, I don't know if it's just my body dysmorphia or the surgery results bad

How was the first time putting on a tight t-shirt and feeling only euphoria and happiness?
I waited so long for this moment and I‘m so grateful
(Almost 5 weeks post op)

just had my 6 month post-op appointment and they offered me a revision for the slightly raised piece of skin (left in these photos and the very end of my incision in the centre of my chest) I’m wondering whether to take them up on it?

It feels noticeable to me because I’m hyperaware of it? And looking down makes it look worse than it is, I know working out will probably help as well

I had a double incision w/ nipple grafts on 10/5 with Dr. Reformat. So far I’m very happy with the results. I’m mostly concerned with how the left side is more swollen/tender. I had my drains removed yesterday. I’m using ace wrap for compression. Wondering if anyone has any better tips to help control the swelling. Trying to prevent a sarcoma.

this post is for those who are nervous and scared of getting top surgery (or any surgery really). gonna share my story on here to hopefully settle some nerves as i found before my surgery the internet has quite a lot of negative experiences and not too many positive ones surrounding recovery specifically, which isnt a problem as transparency about the realities is SUPER helpful when it comes to preparing to recover from a major surgery, but for me personally it got me quite worried about the whole thing. i just want to make this post for people who are nervous as hell about healing hopefully make some people out there more comfortable going forward :)

small mention of blood ahead

i want to preface first this is my personal experience and im not gonna give any medical advice or anything like that, and im not shaming anybody for sharing any negative/ neutral experiences, i love having these online groups and posts and learning about different people and their choices and reasoning and all that sappy stuff 🤗🤗 i love the trans community and yeah i hope yous can understand what im meaning to get across with this post

(photo is 2 1/2 weeks post-op, 17 days exactly, i went with dr jesus lago in madrid and stayed for 20 days with my surgery being on the 3rd day i was there. im also not on T and had my sister with me to look after me)

i was absolutely sure id be in pain the whole time, id feel nauseous and be unable to do anything and be miserable. that wasnt the case at all. i experienced little to no pain (i was taking prescribed paracetamol and ibuprofen), it was mainly just being uncomfortable from being in the same position for so long. small daily walks and movement really helped. i had no physical feeling around the bloating even tho i could see it and it didn’t impact how i felt, i had no constipation and actually had to stop eating prune pouches on day 4 cos they were working too well lol thanks to my dads genes xxxx. i also havent had any split stitches or infections, my nipple grafts have been great too, the only thing that happened with them is that when i got the bandages off at the week 2 week mark, i went into the shower 2 days after (16 days post op) and the gauze was stuck to them (totally normal, my doctor said to be gentle and use water to get the gauze off) and it came off fine, but a couple days after it got stuck again. i didnt notice it was stuck when i took it off and it started bleeding, but i didnt panic and got an ice cube in a ziplock bag and held it against the nipple at 5-10 second intervals to shrink the blood vessels and it stopped the bleeding almost immediately. i just let it scab over in the open air before putting more gauze on and havent had an issue since. my mum reminded me that bleeding (okay yeah not the best thing to happen) was ultimately a good thing because it means theres blood circulation there. and the nipple is getting the nutrients and what it needs to thrive long term. so dont panic if you see blood, just get ice and something non-porous to help with stopping the bleeding and remind yourself it’s all gonna be okay!! obviously this isnt actual medical advice, its just what i did because i knew the bleeding wasnt something more serious and was because i made a small mistake. also, this happened around 2 weeks post op, so i knew it was just the top layers of the scab and wasnt the graft itself as the gauze i took off had only been on for around a day at that point. plus my scabs were so thick theyd choke a horse. if you think something is wrong please listen to your body and your gut instinct!!
i was really surprised with my recovery for the first couple weeks and how smoothly it went, so thought id post about it and let others know that yes its scary and absolutely prepare for the worst like i did, but mentally dont expect only bad things to happen. just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :)

if anyone would like a more in-depth experience post then let me know as id be happy to talk about it, i know they really helped me prepare for mine 🫶🫶

Scars in the front pop out and are shiny. Not sure why (pic 2)

Tape is from Amazon, silicone. I leave it on all day

Am I doing this wrong?

Recently been pretty obsessed witht the fact that one of my pecs looks like it's “melting” (visibly more curved, nipple lower than the other side). Is it one of those things that once the scabs fall and scars heal ends up looking more symmetrical? Or will it worsen with time? I am aware that it's too early to tell but I'd like to know if other people had similar experiences.

Situation: had nipple-sparing top surgery done and also very high risk for breast cancer, so all breast tissue was removed (yay reducing my risk to almost 0%). The surgical team (breast surgeon + plastic surgeon) discussed the high likelihood of a revision before the procedure, and now it's time to discuss that with the plastic surgeon leading the process. It looks like it'll involve fat grafting to fill in concave areas near the center of my chest, lipo on the sides to remove fat tissue, and potentially addressing scar tissue build-up.

I'm looking for second opinions because he doesn't have photos to share of similar body types (athletic, not rail-thin, not on T) of prior patients and some of his bedside manor indicates he doesn't really understand the trans/NB experience, maybe preventing him from having a clear vision on what to do here.

Any LA recommendations? Thank you!

So I'm 10 months post top, and don't get me wrong I love how it looks and that I don't have to wear binders anymore. But I lost all sensation directly on chest a alot around it also. People says it takes time and I saw a bit of amelioration on the right side but almost none (see 2nd picture). And I feel like its not going to come back and makes it very uncomfortable often. So keep it in mind its a thing that can happen, but not saying everyone is the same!

I would do this surgery in a heartbeat but wished it was more talked about about when it doesnt come back and not just the nipple area

I got surgery on the 13th October so I’m just over 2 days post op (very early in the journey I know). However, I sometimes get this intense pain on my right side when standing, it last about 20-30 seconds and then I’m fine. Is this something I should be worried about? I haven’t taken it that serious as it not a constant pain but it only happens to that side and not the other. Tomorrow I’m going to take the compression binder off and check for redness and other stuff but the pain is concerning me quite a bit as I become basically unable to move.

shitty camera quality whoops

Working on day three of my recovery. This day has been the worst so far and sleeping last night did not come with ease. I have been trying to not have to take the emergency Oxy unless I have to. My surgeon and I came up with a pain plan that provided me with non addictive substances I can use. Most of my pain comes from a pulling sensation on my left side when I get up or adjust my laying position. I’m also very nervous to see my results. I know I cant hate my new chest more than my old one but I am still scared. Are these normal feelings? Anyone have any advice that could be good to know in the next few days? I have my post op Monday so I am hoping once I have the drain tubes and everything out I can be more excited instead of anxious.

Anyone have experiences with Henry ford hospital? I have a consult with dr Barry soon, and although I was able to find a paper that she coauthored regarding top surgery, I haven’t seen anyone speaking about her online.

Mainly wondering about general details for consult to surgery timeline for Henry ford, and about cost for both with/without insurance. Thank you!

Just wondering if i'm healing okay? I am surprised as i normally bruise extremely easily but when I took a break from the post op binder for the first timr(my surgeon said it's cool) I was surprised there isn't any significant bruising and only minimal swelling? 4 days post op di

Hello, I got double incision done with Dr Gabriel del Corral on Sept 18th. Since the surgery I've had this weird big scab connected to my incisions which I'm not sure why it's there, but it's gone from hard and typically scabby to kind of gooey. Also my incisions are looking kind of scary to me. I had my 3rd post-op a few days ago where I got my drains out, and they said that the incisions looked fine and to just put betadine solution on the scabbing. I'm not sure what to even Google to figure out why it looks that way or if it's something I should actually be concerned about.

I've messaged my surgeon's office about this with the same picture asking for clarification last night and I'm waiting for their answer. Has anyone else ever experienced this and what did you do about it? I'm trying to trust the process but the process has me a bit anxious lol.

2 weeks post op by Dr Maud Bélanger

I am 11 days post op from DI with no grafts. I got my drains removed yesterday (and they’d just been a huge annoyance for days because output was very low). Since my drains were out, I was finally cleared to shower. I know it’s fairly common to have anxiety in the first shower, and I did, but not overwhelmingly so. I was kind of shaky when I got out but alright. However, putting the binder back on and wearing it for a little under an hour, I felt like I couldn’t get a deep breath at all, despite it not being tight at all. I felt like I could feel it pressing my incisions together.

I waited to take it off completely until my partner was available to help put it back on. However, when I finally took it off to try to get a deep breath, I fell into a full panic attack, which I haven’t had in a very long time. It felt like I could feel the incisions pulling apart (they weren’t), I couldn’t take even breaths, and overall just having an attack for about 20 minutes. I found that touching around the incisions seemed to help slightly calm my mind for a few seconds but looking at it didn’t. I know this can be common with seeing your chest for the first time, but I guess I thought it wouldn’t happen to me because it didn’t happen when I saw it at my appointment.

I asked my surgeon at the appointment about how much longer she’d prefer I wear compression and she said holding on for about another week or so would be good, since I’ve had no swelling for most of my recovery so far and the incisions look good. I think this is totally reasonable and it’s a shorter timeline than I was expecting based on her usual guidelines. I did order a zip up binder from Amazon but it’s too small, so I was going to wear the wrap one i got from my surgeon until a larger size is delivered. I ended up making several cuts to the arm holes of the new binder and wearing that overnight with moderate comfort and no panicking. I just didn’t wear a binder for a couple hours following the panic attack, even though it did feel wrong and I still had low level anxiety until bedtime.

I do have sensory issues normally, so this isn’t like a new source of anxiety. I think it was mostly just my body finally registering the change and freaking tf out about all the different sensations. Up until yesterday, I had bandages on top of my surgical dressings, which dulled the sensation of the binder on the incisions. Now, obviously, I can feel more and I suppose my body just needed to freak out for a while.

Im doing better today and I’m letting myself take another binder break for a couple hours today. I’m mostly just writing this to share my experience, since I searched and didn’t find anyone else that posted about similar circumstances (mostly posts about panicking at very first sight or just talking about drain removal feelings).

My "side boobs" are coz of weight gain due to becoming a wheelchair users not the surgery itself just to clarify 🤣

Either way, I love my results before and after 🫶

TW: brief mention of an eating disorder, fairly extensive discussion of dysphoria etc

Hey! My surgery (DI with grafts and reinnervation) is 11/20 so just over a month away. A couple weeks ago I was seeing a play that I hadn't seen since before coming out, and I had a panic attack in the middle of it about like...am I making a mistake/is this fine/can I live with this actually/should I cancel surgery. I'm just wondering if others dealt with panic/second guessing shortly before surgery and if so, how you sifted through what was just panic vs an actual concern? Did anyone end up cancelling or postponing or radically changing their surgery because of last minute doubt?

For background, I'm 30, no T (did it briefly, not for me), came out in 2021 after I finally realized that not everyone feels like their gender is a role in a high school play they never wanted to be in. I present masc of center (whatever that is) probably 80% of the time and occasionally enjoy an alt fem-ish situation. I was raised really religious and have some childhood sexual trauma (re: my chest specifically) that's meant I have always had a complicated relationship to my chest. I remember being excited at the onset of puberty because I desperately wanted to be and look grown up (which feels taboo to say? I always wonder if it means I'm not trans bc I didn't hate puberty at the beginning), but beyond that, most of the messaging around my chest was all shame based.

Once I left the religious context I grew up in, I was less worried about modesty but also just...didn't like calling attention to my chest and ended up hiding it (which at the time I would have said was some religious conditioning holdover). My chest was pretty small which I was happy about, although I never liked being topless (even asleep or alone) and definitely didn't like having breasts in a sexual context. When I started wearing binders and taping after coming out, I found it kind of delightful, especially because I could get pretty much flat with it, and I started assuming I'd do top surgery eventually but didn't actually plan it...and then I 1) quit doing the eating disorder thing and 2) started birth control for awful PMDD, and between the two, my chest size went up (from like an A to a small C). I also have chronic joint pain, so binding has become harder and harder, and sports bras don't cut it with the size of my chest now.

My current partner (been together for two years) is the first person I've actually felt comfortable with sexually, and I can tolerate being topless around her, but I don't like it and I can't handle my chest being interacted with or looked at. I stopped birth control after a hysterectomy in the summer and my chest size went back down a little (to like a B range afaik) and that's made me feel less like there's something weird and foreign attached to me, but it's definitely not zero of that feeling. It's just more tolerable. I can sometimes look at it in the mirror and be fine. I can sometimes wear a binder and feel fine. When I had the panic attack during the play, I ended up looking down at my chest (I had a too-small compression top on under a somewhat fitted shirt) and being like "well I don't hate this so maybe it's crazy to be doing a whole surgery, omfg."

My plan for months has been to ask for just barely not quite flat surgery (soft pecs, basically -- small enough to be shirtless outside but with a small bit of softness, and playing around with nipple size and placement to try for androgyny/gender fuckery which is perpetually my vibe). We talked about it at my consult but I didn't have pictures at the time, but I do now and will talk to my surgeon in a couple weeks. My medical clearance appointments are all scheduled. Plane tickets are bought. Airbnb is paid for. This is a stupid time for my brain to do a panic but ever since that panic attack, whenever anyone asks me if I'm excited about surgery, I just have this horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I end up saying I'm excited because I'm supposed to be, but what I actually feel is just dread and anxiety and fear about waking up and still hating my chest, or regretting it, or realizing I'm actually an imposter and not really trans (something I would literally never say to anyone except apparently myself??), or wishing I'd asked for something different surgery wise (in either direction! worried I'll want flat if I go with my soft pecs plan and worried I'll miss the option of softness if I go totally flat), or that top surgery won't actually look good on me (even though it looks amazing on you all), or any of a dozen other worries (including that I found out during my hysterectomy that I have endometriosis and now I am worried about having to go back on birth control eventually for that and oh my GOD what if my chest grows back).

Sorry for the word vomit. I guess I just want to know if this happens to other people and if so, what did you do, did it continue through surgery recovery/when did it get better, did you change anything about your surgery plans because of it, how did you know if doubt was real, etc.?

And yes, I have talked to my therapist about this, and my partner and my transmasc sibling and several friends. It's just that aside from my sibling (whose trans identity looks very different from mine, including that they have literally always known they were transmasc and I didn't know), no one else has had top surgery.