Everyone went through rough stuff, that doesn't give you the right to be a dick

[u/Character_Growth_397]

When characters call out the fact that having a sad or traumatic story doesn't give you the right to be a dick

Guardians of the Galaxy - Rocket Rackoon says to Drax "I don't care if it's mean. Everybody's got dead people! But it makes no excuse to letting everyone else around get killed along the way!", which he is correct

BoJack Horseman - Todd tells BoJack: "You are all the things that are wrong with you, it's not the drugs or the alcohol, or any of the things that happened in your career and childhood". While BoJack is shaped by his trauma, it's he who he keeps making awful decisions again and again, and trying to externalize it won't make things better

[u/newX7]

I actually hate this trope because it implies everyone suffering is comparable. Imagine a person whose worst trauma is losing a sibling in a car accident saying this to a Holocaust survivor, comparing their experiences, and then telling them to get over the Holocaust the same way the person got over their sibling’s accident.

[u/Character_Growth_397 → u/newX7]

Are we powerscaling trauma now?? Your experiences aren't an excuse to be a cunt to others who had nothing to do with it, full stop

[u/newX7 → u/Character_Growth_397]

Yes. "There's a huge difference between saying "You're past doesn't justify what you're doing now" (which is what Black Panther did with Kilmonger) and saying "We all went through bad stuff" as if though people's experiences are comparable.

If someone's worst experience is something like their grandpa dying peacefully in their sleep, and another person is having been imprisoned in Auschwitz and watching their entire family and loved ones be tortured, experimented on, and murdered during the Holocaust, I think that the former can't really equate their experiences to the latter, or say with certainty that if they lived through the Holocaust, they wouldn't turn out the same way, or worse.

Let me put it this way. Imagine a Holocaust survivor is the villain of the story. Now imagine the hero of the story saying "Dude, get fuck over the Holocaust. It was years ago. When my grandpa died of pneumonia, I didn't let that trauma define me and turn me into a bad, bitter, and cruel person, so you have no excuse letting the Holocaust killing all your family members and loved ones doing that to you. Stop being a pussy and get the fuck over it."

Would you clap and cheer for what the hero said, or would you think he's a dick for equating his grandpa dying of an illness to a person who was themselves, along with their entire family and community, a victim of the Holocaust?

[u/BlaxicanXIX → u/newX7]

>it implies everyone suffering is comparable

No it doesn't lmao, it implies that there is no such thing as suffering so great that it allows you to be shitty to others

[u/newX7 → u/BlaxicanXIX]

By saying "We've all gone through rough stuff" you're automatically implying that your rough stuff is somehow comparable to someone else's trauma.

Let me put it this way. Imagine a Holocaust survivor is the villain of the story. Now imagine the hero of the story saying "Dude, get fuck over the Holocaust. It was years ago. When my grandpa died of pneumonia, I didn't let that trauma define me and turn me into a bad, bitter, and cruel person, so you have no excuse letting the Holocaust killing all your family members and loved ones doing that to you."

Would you clap and cheer for what the hero said, or would you think he's a dick for equating his grandpa dying of an illness to a person who was themselves, along with their entire family and community, a victim of the Holocaust?

[u/baconboy-957 → u/newX7]

It's not though... It's not that their experiences are comparable but neither experience justifies being a dick

[u/newX7 → u/baconboy-957]

By saying "We've all gone through rough stuff" you're automatically implying that your rought stuff is somehow comparable to someone else's trauma.

Let me put it this way. Imagine a Holocaust survivor is the villain of the story. Now imagine the hero of the story saying "Dude, get fuck over the Holocaust. It was years ago. When my grandpa died of pneumonia, I didn't let that trauma define me and turn me into a bad, bitter, and cruel person, so you have no excuse letting the Holocaust killing all your family members and loved ones doing that to you."

Would you clap and cheer for what the the hero said, or would you think he's a dick for equating his grandpa dying of an illness to a person who was themselves, along with their entire family and community, a victim of the Holocaust?