talking circles around religious leaders at the age of 12
Healing the sick,
walking on water,
turning water into wine coz ma asked him to,
cursing to death a fig tree that had the nerve to not have any figs when he was hungry
grabbing a whip and absolutely beating the living daylights out of swindling megachurch pastors and unchecked capitalists who dared sell their wares in the church
defying slut-shaming folks by letting a prostitute wash his feet
turning a nice meal that a few people brought into a nice meal for everybody
insisting that everyone pay their fair share of tax, including religious folks
telling people to love their neighbor as they love themselves
demonstrating that immigrants are not the enemy, and sometimes they might be more loving and helpful to you than your own folks
showing people that doing good is way better than being overtly religious
hoisting a heavy cross up a steep hill whilst being whipped and ridiculed (talk about crossfit)
sacrificing himself and dying for folks
rising from the dead
An absolutely bizarre (and excellent) adventure indeed.
On those lines, the Samaritans worshipped Yahweh, but they didn't follow the law of Moses. The Good Samaritan was Jesus saying that it's more holy to love your neighbor while worshipping the wrong way than to be ritually perfect and not love your neighbor. Reframed for modern times, it's the same as Jesus saying that a Muslim who cares for people is holier than a Pope who doesn't care for people.
Also, Jesus partied. He developed a reputation as a drunkard to prove the hypocrisy of the people who criticized revolutionary prophets like John the Baptist.
That Jesus is a Jojo is not cannon nor ever mentioned or implied. That he exists in the Jojo universe is
In fact, his corpse is reffered to as "the holy corpse" (and it's never directly stated verbally to be his) and he's only referred to as Jesus, not Joshua
This is a common misconception. Jesus being a Jojo is just a meme
All hail Slick Joshie, our Lord, Savior, and reasonably priced Craftsman!
My personal headcanon is that the documents we know of the new testament were those created by Constantine when he converted the Roman Empire. That's why God's teachings in those books include:
Money changers are only bad in religious areas
Paying your taxes is completely reasonable
Show your dissatisfaction with Roman occupation by slightly embarrassing soldiers and saying "please sir may I have another" if they hit you in the face
If you see someone sinning, who are you to judge? You're just as bad
Man, those Jewish religious leaders, amIright?
It was definitely not Rome who killed the son of God. They tried their hardest, but his own people really insisted. Even called down a blood curse on themselves.
Here's the Super Cool Roman Citizen who is taking over the narrative now. He calls the head disciple of your Savior "Rocky" because he's hip.
If Rome doesn't respect your rights as a citizen, it's because God has a greater purpose
Patch notes: don't worry about those dietary restrictions
Patch Notes: Keep the blades away from our nether regions, tyvm
You guys need to take care of the poor, definitely not the government.
God wants you to return the runway slave to their owner.
The money changers story is particularly weird from the Jewish perspective. At the time, Jews lived across the Roman and Persian empires. Whenever they visited Jerusalem for pilgrimages, they needed local currency to pay tithes. The money changers served a necessary function.
Sort of opposite is Josh’s chief deputy, who’s name was Simon, differentiated as bar Jonah, which is just son of Jonah, kind of sort of another version of John (I’m skipping over some complexity there). However, he got the nickname of Peter, which means “rock”. So you could call him Simon “the Rock” Johnson.
As I understand it, they started using alternate spellings to differentiate the fact that obviously several people had the same common names. And there's a famous hero named Joshua who has an entire Old Testament book so obviously Jesus couldn't be Josh. And at the same time the "Y" sound was basically a "J" back then or could be (the letter J wasn't invented officially until the Middle Ages) so the pronunciation isn't even that off.
Special forces are so funny because the movies make you think they all look like Arnold Schwarzenegger when a good chunk of them really look like accountants.
Most tier one guys are just cardio machines, you really only saw dudes get absolutely yolked around the start of GWOT when SOF guys (especially team guys) started running ridiculous stacks of the sketchiest lab gear they could find with little no education on which compounds to run, how to properly dose, and the basics of harm reduction.
A bit of a tangent as someone who appreciates steroid/ped history, but this was back when finaplex bathtub Tren was still pretty much the only Tren you could source in the U.S., and from the stacks I’ve heard from first-person sources, they were mostly running Tren, dbol, and even HGH when not deployed, sometimes without even a test base because they had no idea what they were doing and thought whatever was reputed to put on the most muscle the quickest was the best, meanwhile they were absolutely murdering their cardio, blowing up their blood pressure, and destroying pretty much all of their blood markers across the board.
That only lasted until ‘03-04 or so, when information on gear usage started becoming more widely available in the community and they had long already realized that having the physique of an Arnold Classic competitor only adds unnecessary weight and consumes more oxygen than smaller and all around fitter physiques, so running around in country looking like discount Jay Cutlers wasn’t benefitting anyone. So they switched to safer and more mission oriented compounds like winny, eq, and mast. It was also around this time that SOCOM started expanding access to dedicated trainers, regimens, and training facilities.
Nowadays bigger builds are still more prevalent in the teams specifically as they’ve maintained the culture (albeit while utilizing much better pharmacology), but the vast majority of operators are still on the smaller size and much leaner than most people would think. Their idea of what of an operator looks like is heavily skewed by dudes like DJ Shipley and most of the former operators he features on GBRS, when really you look at photos of them on deployment and they were a fraction of the size they are today when they were actually active duty.
Charlemagne has always been funny to me. He is my Great-x40 Grandfather, and my actual grandfather is ALSO named Charles. So I often call the great Emperor "Grandpa Charlie".
Tbf he's like the second charles known in history with charles martel his grandfather whom he is named for being the first. The proliferation of karlo/charles/karl/carl/carol etcetc as a common name is directly because of Charlemagne.
For all the unique and memorable names in LOTR such as Frodo, Gandalf, Sauron, or Aragorn, the name given to one of the most mysterious, resilient, and oldest characters in Tolkeins writings is named...Tom.
There's a million YouTube video essays on various theories on Tom Bombadil. Is he a demi-God, is he God, is he Tolkein personified, is he a red herring? Who knows? All we can be sure of is that Tom just is.
Besides being thousands of years old, one of his biggest claims to fame in the books is that the strongest weapon in Middle Earth, the One Ring, has zero effect on him.
Sentry is one of the most powerful superheroes in the Marvel universe who also suffers from mental health issues that ultimately resulted in him developing a dark alternate personality known as The Void.
What is Sentry’s real name? Bob. No really. His real name is Robert Reynolds but he goes by Bob.
It’s the classic business-suit+weird white bald head combo. Also seen with The Gentlemen in the Buffy episode “Hush,” The Whispermen in the Doctor Who episode “the Name of the Doctor,” as well as the Silents throughout series 6.
Bonus points for how Jack also doesn't really act like a Final Fantasy character either. He spends most of the game literally telling people to fuck off, and his only eccentricity or exaggerated character trait is just how much of a dick he can be to his own teammates.
Not only was Yeshua a very common name, but it more or less is where the name Joshua comes from (Hebrew lacks a J sound, so the Y is the closest analogue). The son of God was a dude named Josh.
And the most famous soldier and mercenary commander of all time which has the title of Big Boss and is the base of Solid Snake... his name is John/Jack. The guy has the same name as John Douglas Movies
The Antichrist as the narrator calls him: The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness
The Dark Tower. There is an evil sorcerer bent on the collapse of reality as we know it, who is sacrificing children to accomplish his goals. One child with psychic visions clocks this perfectly.
I don't know that Wonder Woman counts here. Diana is the Roman goddess of the hunt, the counterpart of the Greek Artemis. It is, I'd argue, a pretty badass name for a badass like her
The most enigmatic being in the legendarium of Tolkien:
- “Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn.”
"When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless, before the Dark Lord came from Outside.”
"He is"
Anyways, his name is Tom Bombadil, and he is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.
behold, the Daemon Prince of the Daemons of Chaos faction, a create your own character in a game where everyone has a slice of established lore, and a customized name. and the community dubs him: Daniel
Damn there's actually an article about it. The closest I got on my research was this one, which funnily enough is the first link in the article you posted.
In the lore of Magic: the Gathering, many of the most powerful people are Planeswalkers, superhumans known for their ability to instantaneously travel between the different planes of existence.
This particular Planeswalker has consistently been depicted as one of the most powerful spellcasters in the entirety of the lore.
He’s regularly faced off against many of the most powerful monsters, spellcasters, and gods of the setting, and lived to tell the tale.
He was turned into a sort of brainwashed biomechanical zombie at one point, and was returned to his regular human form primarily through his own sheer willpower.
He’s the central character of the most recent set of MtG, which was focused on his ultimate master plan, years of lore in the making: to create a “perfect utopia” of a mirror universe called the Echoverse, and overwriting the existing multiverse with it. When he experienced doubts about his plan, he simply splintered his identity apart and sealed away the parts of him that objected so he would be fully committed to his goal. He actually began to succeed, and the overwriting started to happen. It was only stopped because multiple of the strongest Planeswalkers in existence were collectively just barely able to finally stop him.
His name is…Jace. He doesn’t even have any crazy titles or epithets, at the height of his power in the latest set, he was still just “Jace, the Theorist”
I would just like to post the image of our Lord and Savior, big boss. Real name John/jack. He saved us from nuclear Armageddon twice (three times if you consider PO cannon) and then went on to form a military cult that yes, did kinda hold the world hostage twice with nuclear robots, and then yes his old outfit of allies the patriots, did kinda steal the AI research from strange love, a bisexual who built his first metal gear, metal gear Zeke which was stolen by a teenage girl big boss had sex with under a box in a bonus mission, and was killed by strangeloves paraplegic pathetic husband who later discovered his next wife cheating on him with his son and he tired to drown himself in a pool with their young daughter who grew up wanting to fuck her older brother and helped created the AIs that enslaved the world and then she got killed by a vampire.
The White Death or his real name Simo Häyhä. A very skilled Finnish sniper during World War 2. He was shot in the face(thats why his cheek looks like that). But he survived and lived until April 1st 2002. Also spoiler for the Manga and anime of Record of Ragnarock but he is one of the fighters for the humans
Also I can't help but mention to everyone in this thread who pointed out the oily josh joke, not to be a buzz kill, but "anointed" isn't used to be about being covered in oil, it's metaphorical language where the point is "officially appointed for the job", where the job you'd think of would be something like a political or spiritual or armies leader who has to make uneasy decisions and cover up for those whom he leads
Just because this seems to be a misconception repeated ad nauseum in the comments about Jesus' name:
The Hebrew name Yehoshua / יהושע (the Prophet Joshua, successor to the Prophet Moses) is the original name.
Later, after the Babylonian Exile of Jews from Judea, c. 597 BCE, adopted the colonial language and written script known as "Imperial Aramaic."
Now, after the Babylonian Exile ended with King Cyrus the Great of Persia (after conquering Neo-Babylonia) allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the Temple atop the Temple Mount, Aramaic regionalized into a dialect that would have been spoken by Jesus - Galilean Dialect Aramaic.
Then we finally get to his actual name as he would've used it, likely Yeshu Bar Yosef
(יושע בר יוסף)
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u/mapadofu 1d ago
There are some who call me…..Tim!