I've been on a very long journey, but I never thought this would happen. It was like an outer body experience. I was no longer in my stuttering brain. No stuttering thought, mental gymnastics, negative thoughts, word substitution even entered my psyche. I dislike evaluating fluency (but I know my audience here lol), but I did not notice any stutter. I'm sure if you had me recorded and had an SLP analyze it after, there were probably some minor hangups here and there, but nothing that my brain processed as a block or stuttering moment. I did not use any techniques or think about my quality of speech. I was fully engaged in what I was saying and doing.

Again, I know my audience... for context, I was a very severe stutterer, and consistently was so into my 20s, and then after that, it became more variable. I went to an intensive speech clinic as a kid. They told my parents I was one of the worst cases, if not the worst that they ever had. I'm in my 40s now. I had a lot of hopeless thoughts earlier in my life. Similar to the ones I see posted a lot.

I wanted to share this story to tell people: Yes, there is a lot of struggle and trauma, but if you explore things and be open to experiences, it can get easier.

19M, I’m a severe stutter and fucking hell is my life miserable. You ever feel so unsupported by your parents? Well I do and it’s like I’m placed the blame as if I WANT to be non fluent and they deny passing this gene onto me.

Im told I don’t practice enough, that im stupid and gonna be up to nothing. I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought that way ever since I lost all my friends due to this stutter and how I “made my mom look bad” because some ableist Catholic teachers couldn’t accept that I stutter so it caused her problems.

They get mad when I’m on my phone but don’t have patience to wait for me to talk and say “I guess the therapy is a waste of money, I see no improvement”. Yeah maybe when you’re telling your son all these things he may stutter much more with you. My brothers I still stutter but significantly less but it’s a blessing that they wait for me and hear me out…

On Tuesday yesterday I was at a bus stop and there was a man who attacked a person in front of me and was holding a weapon. I don’t mean to sound edgy but I wasn’t scared at all, it’s like I got relieved that I can finally be away from this world but he just went on the other side of the street and went on his day. I’m guessing gang on gang violence it seems.

For most of my life I am miserable and I’ll smoke to the miserable years to come 😂. If only I wasn’t dealt this card, what life could’ve been the one I had….

If anyone here is comfortable on speaking about unsupportive close ones, it would be comforting to hear someone in the same boat. Thank you for hearing me out

And if anyone’s genuine response is only that they have family/friends/pets that would otherwise be affected if you went, or if your just waiting for the next big movie/video game to release or something, please just don’t bother with giving your comment on this one.

Sometimes I want to be more expressive and engage in conversations but I feel the "seizure" coming from a mile away ..then I just smile, nod to almost everything and go away.

I stutter much worse when I'm giving a presentation, and practicing it doesn't help at all (other than switching out some words). It's specifically just for prepared content - I am muchhhh more fluent when answering questions or adding things to the presentation off the cuff. Directly reading things vs paraphrasing what I know I need to say doesn't make a big difference at all for me. Stress levels or presentation importance also don't make a big difference. My theory is that because stuttering is a neurological disorder, and because remembering information and synthesizing information are different neurologically, going down the remembering/reading pathways does something to exacerbate the stutter. Does anyone else experience this? Could definitely be an issue that varies with different stutter types.

At this point, I just hate people who are able to speak without an entire battle going on within them.

I really hate the fact that these people will grow far more professionally and personally than I ever will.

I'm seriously done with justifying my stutter, telling people I stutter, asking and expecting some patience and empathy from everyone I interact with.

I'm resentful of literally everyone around me. I just hate it when people can just casually talk with each other, tell stories and what not.

And to pacifiers, who say our stutter doesn't define us, please don't lie to yourself. We all know speaking is one of the most critical functions of a human being.

I try to be positive, but right now I'm just losing it. I'm afraid that I'll lose my only earning source very soon. I'm a technical consultant, and as per the made up belief by pacifiers, we have to do more than just writing code. We have to demonstrate what we have built. That is a part of our job profiles. People who can speak have a defined growth path. And here, I'm afraid of growing in my career. I'm afraid of promotions. I'm afraid of leading people.

I'm angry that everyone around me, can do technical demos just like they breathe. And here, my whole body starts functioning differently the moment I even hear these words.

I hate it when people close to me, ask about my friends, my marriage plans. How do I tell them that I'm a failure, I have to take care of my speech for my entire life, and I can never have the mindset to get married. I don't have friends. I had, but slowly I'm losing the plot and I don't have it in me to maintain those friendships.

In my culture, the next 4 days is the festive season, and people define and remember this season with the conversations they have. Everyone around me is excited to have conversations and make memories. And here I am, dreading the best part of the festivities.

I've started to hate myself and everyone around me. I don't know the way out.

Seeing people happy around me, is just killing me from inside.

I was never like this. I never wanted to be like this. I always wanted people around me to be happy.

But realising what I've become over the past few weeks, is really tough.

Marking this as NSFW, as it is negative as hell. Just wanted to vent out.

You guys should check out this guy’s YouTube channel. He’s a guy who stutters and post skating content. I just found out about him today. He has a lot of subs on YouTube.

Everyday im school I struggle so dam bad, I get in class I don’t wanna speak to anyone when someone tries to speak to me I just sound like a freak becuase ive got silent blocks. I can’t make any new friends I only have two close friends. I struggle even speaking to my own girlfriend and it always makes me insecure that people don’t like me because of it. My girlfriend is best friends with my friends and I can’t even make friends with hers because of how bad my stammer is anytime I try and speak to them I get so embarrassed and I just sit there. I can’t even say my own name too anyone, I don’t know what too do and it should’ve gone by now or at-least eased but no it’s still here I shouldn’t be really over reacting but if anyone could give tips I would appreciate it’s making me really insecure about just talking too anyone.