I’ve been noticing a lot of big feelings surrounding seeing the recent instance of the death at six flags, and just reflecting on how seeing some of these things triggers me a bit. I find myself thinking about how not only are the loved ones so deeply impacted, but the witnesses on the ride, the workers at the park, etc etc. This is a recent example of this, but I’ve experienced it with having any personal or media based exposure of “accident” based death or injury in other instances.

In thinking about the people hurt and impacted, I feel this intense feeling I can’t clearly identify along with so much fear of death and something like that happening to me. I get into almost a freeze state thinking that I have ridden roller coasters before and that I should never do it again, with the recent example. It’s such an unsettling, choking sensation in my throat and just awful.

Does anyone else experience this or relate in any way or have any insight of what might be helpful?

My dreams have been getting crazier and more vivid for the past few weeks. Tonight was by far one of the craziest dreams I've ever had and I just feel amazing.

So I'm lay down inside the dream and I ask AI to help me perform an exorcism. It generates this disturbing feeling image. I look at the image and immediately I start feeling like I'm being f*cking electrocuted. It's some of the most intense sensations I've ever had inside a dream. Every time I look at the image I start getting electrocuted again. So inside the dream I'm titrating using this image. It really f*cking hurts but I just feel like it's right and that it's working.

Eventually I start feeling paranoid that the image and AI is the one that's trying to possess me, but like I said I just feel like it's right so I keep performing the exorcism on myself.

Then I'm in this weird limbo between sleep and consciousness and it takes me a few moments to register that I'm awake and that none of this was real. Then I realize maybe it was real? I feel into my body and notice it really feels like I've just been repeatedly electrocuted and that's when I realized that this was actually some deep, immense discharge my body has been building towards for months. I was still feeling paranoid though at this point about what the hell I just experienced, if I'm really possessed. It only lasted a few minutes but the whole thing was just so god damn bizarre.

I've been decoding my dreams for weeks now though because theyve been getting more intense and I notice very easily how the things that are happening subconsciously reflect the process unfolding in my nervous system. This is no different. To me the AI represents this new way of trusting myself I've been developing and the disturbing image causing the exorcism was my body literally purging old (possessed) survival energy.