r/SipsTea • u/Putrid-Welder1803 • 1d ago

Gasp! Thoughts on this??

Post image
8.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

3.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.3k

u/MacheteBrizz 1d ago

I'm a European but I watch NFL on USA Channels via a VPN.

I have to mute the commercials now as it's:

Junk Food, Junk Food, Health Insurance, Gambling Ad, Life Insurance, Political Ad, Alcohol, Weight Loss Pills, Gambling Ad, Anti Depression Pills, Alcohol, Junk Food, Car Insurance, New TV Show, Gambling Ad

89

u/PalpatineForEmperor 1d ago

Don't forget the various drug ads with endless lists of side effects.

65

u/MacheteBrizz 1d ago

I laughed the first time I seen those ads.

One of them showed a woman laughing and smiling and having a great time outdoors, spending money like there was no tomorrow.

A catchy jingle played in the background with uplifting lyrics "Love your life your way!!!"

Then a deep manly voice interrupts the joy by listing all the ways you can die if you take the pill.

44

u/Ok_Pomegranate_2436 1d ago

I like when they say don’t take this drug if you are allergic to this same drug.

6

u/UberGlued 1d ago

Its a rule for a reason

5

u/uchuskies08 1d ago

Don't you think loving your life your way is worth it tho

2

u/Sidewalk_Tomato 1d ago

I too, would like to dance my chunky ass through a florist's shop.

3

u/Nekrolysis 1d ago

I hate hearing old songs that had meaning behind them be butchered to use in drug commercials. Very very infuriating.

2

u/KrombopulosMAssassin 1d ago

Lmfaooo, exactly, that's all of them. It's great, isn't it?

1

u/Fearless_Run8860 1d ago

My dad and I love pharma ads for the very same reason, we just sit and count off all the side effects, and come to the same conclusion almost every time: "damn, at this point, I'm better off with the illness than the meds." We'll get surprised when the list of side effects is short, that's how bad this all has gotten.

31

u/ElasticTurd 1d ago

Wegovy can cause a potentially fatal infection of the perinium

31

u/ScottieK00 1d ago

Don't take Wegovy if you're allergic to Wegovy

3

u/ticktockyoudontstop 1d ago

Do not taunt Wegovy.

5

u/Sidewalk_Tomato 1d ago

Ingredients of Wegovy include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

5

u/murder-farts 1d ago

Taint modern medicine grand?

3

u/Yojimboroll 1d ago

Fournier's Gangrene? Someone should Google that

2

u/AncientSignature1505 1d ago

Doesn't Harvey Weinstein have that allegedly?

2

u/Yojimboroll 1d ago

Lol that would be horrible. Maybe not so much for him though.

The images are jarring

2

u/AncientSignature1505 1d ago

Just looked it up, confirmed, dude has dickrot.

2

u/No_Vehicle_7179 1d ago

And can you kindly tell me, with a Stephen King level description, where the perinium is?

3

u/Notchersfireroad 1d ago

"it is the skin between the genitals and anus" is the vocab they use I believe.

3

u/Patriot009 1d ago

"Folks round here call it...the grundle."

3

u/Abject_Film_4414 1d ago

Just past the canyon but before the flaming pit…

1

u/focoslow 1d ago

"And a condition commonly called Meat Curtains"

1

u/Bookslutforsmut 1d ago

Omg thank you! You would not believe how much that fucking side effect has stuck in my mind, it's become a household joke everytime meds are mentioned. I was painting and had something playing on like Netflix and that kept catching my ear but too late for me to figure out what it was for.

1

u/Pretty-Season2307 1d ago

I couldn't even believe it was a real thing the first time I heard it!

22

u/Dead_Parrot 1d ago

Tbf, these are unintentionally hilarious. Who doesn't want to ease their arthritis while developing genital lesions and suicidal thoughts?

10

u/youngcuriousafraid 1d ago

Bruh side effects for a bipolar medican included drastic and unexplained changes in mood or behavior like??

4

u/lazyboi_tactical 1d ago

Can't forget the increased thoughts of suicide and self harm

2

u/EnoughLuck3077 1d ago

Most depression medications list depression as the first side effect

2

u/youngcuriousafraid 1d ago

Im aware, just pointing out the irony

1

u/EnoughLuck3077 1d ago

It’s the most ironic. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so fucked up

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 1d ago

For a second I was thinking about dressing like Caesar and conquering the world with my genital legions.

But how could I ever bring myself to decimate them?

19

u/DamnMyNameIsSteve 1d ago

Ban gambling ads, Ban alcohol ads, Ben drug ads. Just like cigarette ads.

8

u/spudwebb3000 1d ago

But who will fill the revenue gap for these poor struggling media conglomerates?!?

3

u/kendoddsdadsdeaddog 1d ago

Won’t somebody think of the shareholders??

2

u/bobjohndaviddick 1d ago

They could legalize prostitution and ladies of the night could advertise

2

u/spudwebb3000 1d ago

I think OnlyFans ads are coming soon to your local NFL team

2

u/TwoBionicknees 1d ago

the only actual revenue gap would be for the marketing companies getting a smaller cut off less ads being made and shown. the products being sold would probably make almost no actual difference.

2

u/Notabagofdrugs 1d ago

Just ban ads.

18

u/heliumneon 1d ago

Talk to your doctor about whether [Drug X] is right for you. Side effects may include spouts of blood gushing from your eyeballs, turbo cancer, and genital ghost punches.

6

u/PalpatineForEmperor 1d ago

Genital ghost punches could be a selling point for some folks.

5

u/AncientSignature1505 1d ago

New band name.

4

u/WappaTheBoppa 1d ago

What the fuck is up Dennys! We are Genital Ghost Punches! Let’s fucking rock!!!!! 🪨

4

u/Grannypanie 1d ago

Yes, viagra was a pulmonary hypertension medication that had a side effect of increased blood flow to the penis, erections!

Ghost punch may be monitizable.

3

u/AncientSignature1505 1d ago

My favorite take on this was by Siobhan Thompson, "Well, we gave this heart medication to these guys and it didn't work but... they won't give us the medication back."

5

u/Sidewalk_Tomato 1d ago edited 1d ago

Or a racehorse.

And it's down to Horton Hears a Who, Joe Manganiello is a Nutter and Genital Ghost Punches on the outside! . . . It's Joe Manganiello is a Nutter and Genital Ghost Punches neck and neck . . . It's GENITAL GHOST PUNCHES! Genital Ghost Punches, Horton Hears a Who, and Joe Manganiello is a Nutter.

2

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 1d ago

Epstein Didn't Kill Himself has been disqualified for doping.

1

u/Speaker4theDead8 1d ago

And increased risk of death

1

u/TimelyAd2763 1d ago

lol. Turbo cancer

1

u/Patriot009 1d ago

Or the anti-depressant with the side effect of suicidal thoughts. FDA, hello?

1

u/Platt_Mallar 1d ago

The issue there is that the body starts feeling better. You're less lethargic. You feel like you can get up and do things.

However, your brain still has some catching up to do. You're still in the "everything about my life sucks" stage, but now you have the energy to get up and do... things.

Depression sucks, buddy. It sucks.

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 1d ago

genital ghost punches

The ghost of Johnny Cage wins.

8

u/focoslow 1d ago

Don't take Mycoxafailin if you're allergic to Mycoxafailin. No shit.

1

u/Sufficient_Scale_163 1d ago

I was talking to someone about accommodating food allergies at the hospital and someone said “they are eating for free, they should be grateful and eat whatever they are given.” I had to explain allergies to this grown adult lol

2

u/savedhooligan 1d ago

The portion where they talk about the side effects is the longest segment of the ad itself too 😂

2

u/Chumlee1917 1d ago

"For itchy water eyes take Flueroxon, may cause you to explode."

2

u/xChoke1x 1d ago

SKYRIZZY! Lol

2

u/BuzzkillintonJr 1d ago

The US and New Zealand are the only countries that allow drug ads. Like I know more about all those meds and side effects than my actual doctor… but then again the US government pretty much sponsored every drug epidemic in the country.

Edit. Me saying I know more than my doctor is the joke. Clearly I do not so I should not just be able to demand a drug that has more side effects than solutions

2

u/FroggyTrix 1d ago

there are SO MANY that are like "suicidal thoughts!" like i'd rather have bad shits or anxiety than want to kill myself cause the medication is so fucked up

1

u/suspicious_hyperlink 1d ago

Or political ads or weird stuff like that one for RuPaul’s tv show. That one came on last year and the kids were like “wtf did I just see”