Apologies in advance for this random vent

I’m newly single. My babies dad left us 3 days ago. My little boy is 6 months old. The relationship has been volatile for a long time. He said things like “you’re the mother, it’s your job” when I asked for ‘help’ with Bub. (I don’t even think it’s help as it’s a responsibility of his as well smh).

He said things like he didn’t like my personality and I was a nagging bitch, that I was hard to get along with and that women asked to work in the 60s so we have to pay our own way now.

He’s literally the definition of a mysoginist.

I started seeing a therapist a month ago as I came off my anxiety meds because I felt like they were suppressing me from fighting back. I also needed to work out on what planet it was normal to date a man like this, and how does he think it’s normal to treat the mother of your child this badly.

He called me names such a a narcissistic c$$& and said I was always playing victim.

All the while his life didn’t change at all. Still smoking b&ngs daily and getting pissed as a fart on weekends. His life actually got easier having a baby as I paid for all the bills (joint account) and organised all groceries and dinners and paid half the rent.

Now I know this man is a LOSER and I didn’t have a chance to assess this before falling pregnant. So I am working through accepting that it is okay to walk away and actually much better for my son as he only would wear him as a trophy when it suits him and teach him a pleather of bad habits.

NOW even though I know this man was abusive, manipulative and a loser, I still feel a lot of self judgement and am questioning if he is right about some things that he has said.

I know that I am a strong willed person and I am quite blunt. I don’t see an issue with this as i will literally answer a question if you ask me “do you want Thai for dinner” and I say “no thank you I want this” . Apparently that is an issue in a relationship? To disagree when you’re not feeling the same way about something?
Anyway how do I find my way back to myself and heal?
I want love and a family but I’m feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with me because of my constant failure at finding the right person. And now I have my son to worry about and I don’t want to screw that up.
Or maybe to better word this, what can I work on now to make myself more desirable to someone that comes from a stable family and doesn’t feel like I’m attacking him when I have different food choices 🥲

Does anyone have any recipes or suggestions on healthy snacks for picky eaters and teens?

I took my kid to the doctor and explained to them that my kid is having problems obtaining a healthy body.

FYI! My family has a history of being overweight and having a very hard time getting to a healthy body.

✨✨MY KID WAS NOT IN THE ROOM✨✨

We workout, limit snacking and make relatively healthy recipes that my kid HATES.

The doctor recommends we stop working out everyday and start going on walks twice a day. My kid is 13 5’8 and the doctor said he may lose weight as his puberty progresses. Idk how true that is though.

My kid likes carrots & celery but they have to be uncooked.

ALSO, MY KID CAME TO ME SAYING HE WASN’T FEELING GOOD IN HIS BODY ( I didn’t just tell the doctor “hey my kid needs to lose weight”)

So I need recipes or suggestions with veggies hidden

My daughter is not even 8 months old yet and I am leaving her dad(30M)

I wanted nothing more than to give my child both parents, but unfortunately this is the best thing for her.

Her dad and I had a pretty fun relationship in the beginning, but that’s all it was. It was doomed to begin with. He has an 8 year old child who lives out of state that he sees maybe once a year. He doesn’t necessarily try to have a relationship with her either, so it was my fault for not seeing that for what it was sooner. We’ve been together almost 3 years now and welcomed my beautiful daughter 7.5 months ago.

He’s a deadbeat.

Having a child tests your relationship, but we cannot get over this hurdle. Not only am I left to solo parent since she’s been born, but since our relationship has hit rock bottom after the baby, he takes out his frustrations with ME on HER. If we are fighting, he will ignore her, act like she doesn’t exist, he will leave the house the entire day and forfeit his responsibilities as a dad, he will get frustrated and tell her to “be quiet” when she’s making noises when trying to get her to sleep. He put his hands on me a few weeks ago and woke our baby from the fighting. And he could care less. He honestly hates this child if he’s not on good terms with me. It makes me sick.

So now I’m making the decision to finally leave. I am heartbroken for my daughter. Every girl needs a dad in their life. But the environment he’s created for her is terrible. She knows when he’s in a bad mood, she can read the room. And her face will change with it. It makes me feel horrible.

My question is, for the ladies, how did it effect you growing up without a dad? We’re they kind of around, but inconsistent? I think that’s worse. Do you not even remember them at all? Is it better that way?

My heart is breaking for her. I’m so angry with myself that I didn’t choose better. I thought I chose the best, but come to my surprise, he is the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life. I know she’ll see it for herself one day and understand why she didn’t get both parents, but I’m crying thinking about how I’m going to raise her with just her mommy around.