John Sample looks hella menacing

[u/6010_new_aquarius]

Bro has heterochromia apparently and looks like he’d fight you after a coupla beers

[u/paraworldblue]

Dude lives all the way out in Your City but still tells people he's from Seattle. What a tool.

[u/DeadMoonKing → u/paraworldblue]

Average Kent resident.

[u/igloofu → u/DeadMoonKing]

Fuck, he even lives on My Street! I'm so fucked.

[u/WannabEngineer → u/igloofu]

HE HAS NO RESTRICTIONS 

[u/jvolkman → u/igloofu]

Dude's only 5'8" 165. I wouldn't be too concerned.

[u/CashMoneyHurricane → u/igloofu]

You live at Street Address too??

[u/Ok_Dog_4059 → u/paraworldblue]

Why does he have "dic eyes"?

[u/paraworldblue → u/Ok_Dog_4059]

Rubbed one out, then rubbed his eyes. It's just pink eye, but when you get it from a dick, it's known as "dick eyes". They shorten it to "dic" on driver's licenses to save ink.

[u/dddrew → u/Ok_Dog_4059]

dichromatic

[u/randomisperfect → u/paraworldblue]

He tells everyone he's 6 foot

[u/paraworldblue → u/randomisperfect]

In high school, he had a totally real girlfriend who went to another school and was always too busy doing cool attractive things to come around and meet his friends.

[u/taisui]

Looking good at 60 lmao

[u/three_way_toggle → u/taisui]

Just your average 60yo veteran

[u/strong_opinion → u/three_way_toggle]

68!

[u/Newsdriver245 → u/strong_opinion]

If I look that young at 68 I'll probably look menacing as well, just from the joint pain

[u/DeadMoonKing]

Hey, John Sample served this country and has seen some shit. Don’t you tear him down.

[u/jaggedjottings → u/DeadMoonKing]

And he's an organ donor.

[u/deaddiode → u/jaggedjottings]

Just not his own.

[u/oregon_coastal]

Wtf are DIC eyes.

[u/_Elrond_Hubbard_ → u/oregon_coastal]

I had to look it up, it means 'dichromatic' (i.e. heterochromia) 

[u/oregon_coastal → u/_Elrond_Hubbard_]

I am happy there was a better reality than penises and pink eye :-D

[u/thispartyrules → u/_Elrond_Hubbard_]

John A Sample has one blue eye and one green eye. He's a veteran and has to register his hands with the government as lethal weapons

[u/tzmau5 → u/_Elrond_Hubbard_]

r/catswithhomophobia

[u/igloofu → u/oregon_coastal]

What color are you eyes

• DOL clerk

Do I care?

• John Sample

[u/deaddiode → u/oregon_coastal]

Default I Color

[u/paraworldblue → u/oregon_coastal]

It's a derogatory way to say he got pink eye from a dick

[u/TheAwkwardBanana]

Everyone asks "Who is John Sample?" but no one asks "How is John Sample?"

[u/mjolnir76 → u/TheAwkwardBanana]

I’ll do you one better, “Why is John Sample?”

[u/Moist_Signal9875]

Call your local representative and protest if you don’t want this person living in “your city”!

[u/_Elrond_Hubbard_]

John Sample's birthday is definitely the thing that January 6th is most known for

[u/thetragicleonardbast]

Looks like he's aged well.

[u/genman]

RESTRICTIONS NONE ... So he's free to kick your ass.

[u/Expensive_Bid_2617 → u/genman]

He came to the emerald city to drink coffee and choose violence…. And he’s all outta coffee

[u/drayva_]

Address "YOUR CITY" feels so threatening...

[u/Bitter-Basket]

Restrictions: School Zones

[u/kitten_orchestra]

If this is a real person, y’all are being mean for no reason. ID photos are notorious for being bad.

[u/paraworldblue → u/kitten_orchestra]

I'm not mocking his appearance, I'm mocking him for living in Your City.

[u/deaddiode]

His middle name is Assault.

[u/drearymoment]

He's the default character

[u/paraworldblue → u/drearymoment]

John Baldur

[u/SquareConversation7]

License was issued on Mr Sample's 57th birthday... honestly looks pretty good for 57

[u/romulusnr]

"Don't test me!" -John Sample

[u/dadsusernameplus]

“Keep it up, buddy! If you want a piece of me, I’ll give you a Sample!”

[u/MistakeAdmirable9470]

John A Sample kicked my dog AND ate my grandma.

[u/Important-Raccoon661 → u/MistakeAdmirable9470]

IN WHAT ORDER?

[u/MistakeAdmirable9470 → u/Important-Raccoon661]

Ate half a rack of grandma, then took a break to kick the dog, then finished the other half.

[u/Important-Raccoon661 → u/MistakeAdmirable9470]

Sensible, gives you time to digest and a little break. Well done. Adios GMA!

[u/paraworldblue → u/Important-Raccoon661]

Simultaneously. He was eating a roasted arm like a Ren Faire turkey leg while kicking the dog

[u/Important-Raccoon661 → u/paraworldblue]

multi-tasking!

[u/chaffed]

Definitely uses Vern Fonk

[u/paraworldblue → u/chaffed]

He remembers to honk when he drives by Vern Fonk. He also remembers to honk the rest of the time, but sometimes he happens to be driving past Vern Fonk. All hours of the night, too. He's an absolute menace with that horn.

[u/Expensive_Bid_2617]

The Sample family has run Seattle’s organized crime since the Great Fire

[u/AnAncientBog]

That dude definitely has an SR22.

[u/Admiral_Genki]

He looks like he manages a Blockbuster Video in 1999.

[u/watercolorxav]

John Sample will fuck your shit up

[u/honeybunchesofpwn]

Perfect use case for when they should use an AI generated picture lol.

[u/Imajica0921]

He's an organ donor. Not necessarily his own organs, but still.

[u/Usual-Jackfruit4746]

Looks like he may be on a certain registry. And I don't mean at Macy's.

[u/jaguaraugaj]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TstLdEjBd1KaYVuOFs

[u/WendyWilliamsFart]

Oh I’d take a sample of John Sample

[u/vvwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwvv]

Have you dreamed this man?

[u/Hero0ftheday]

Looks good for a 68 yr old.

[u/Mewpup]

I'm never leaving seattle

[u/krankyfox]

His signature looks like mine on my learners permit when i turned 15.

[u/BeesInSpace]

John Sample or the bear?

[u/1337Rooster]

Learn that pose. No smiling when they take your photo

[u/snowdn]

Bro, I just google mapped this address and I’m driving there now, crazy!

[u/revjor]

He looks like he does HVAC

[u/yycjpv]

He definitely has cleared his social media posts from January 5-7 2020

[u/eAthena]

Looks like someone from season 3 of 24

[u/vaticRite]

You don’t want to know what you have to do to get a 99999 zip code.

[u/NewAssumption4780]

Shoulda used Joe Sample instead

[u/TimenLight]

I'm sure there's a story to the guy! Maybe he does the guy voice on the phone too..

[u/FlyAdventurous3332]

Why does he look peaceful to me?

[u/socially-introvert]

But why he choose to be born on Jan 6th? Was it a coincidence?

[u/saifrc]

Veteran, but didn’t qualify for a RealID…interesting…

[u/ghosttrouble]

r/john

someone in rain city, come get our boy

[u/Lunuts65]

The fuck is heterochromia?

[u/Civil-Tension-semi → u/Lunuts65]

Two different colored irises. It could mean a brown and blue eye. You have an inner and outer iris. It could also mean this. I have heterchromia. My outer irises are blue, inner are yellow. 30 years ago, it was an argue with a DMV agent; she compromised at green. My son has it also, but his outer is brown.

[u/13Paws13]

Dic for eyes, interesting

[u/thatisntmynamebro]

He was born in 58. Put some respect on that.

[u/SuddenlyThirsty]

He works for ICE

[u/WhatRUaBarnBurner]

He's angry because he's 5' 8"

[u/randomisperfect → u/WhatRUaBarnBurner]

He tells everyone he's 6 foot

[u/CouldntBeMeTho]

5'8" 165? He getting folded

https://giphy.com/gifs/ou5FtFV6fwdk4

[u/Soccervox → u/CouldntBeMeTho]

You'f think that, but John Sample was Andre Ward's sparring partner back in his Super Middleweight days

[u/pdjejdhrndud]

Definitely got reinserted into the matrix

[u/this_kitty68]

No way that guy was born in 1958.

[u/throw_its]

This guy sold me fake Xanax

[u/malici606]

That "how dare she pour out that drink I roofied* expression.

[u/Jaotze]

He looks like a perfectly normal person to me.

[u/QueenOfPurple]

John Sample looks like he was in that Cornell 7 text chain

[u/conus_coffeae]

looks better than any ID photo I've ever had.  What a pointlessly mean thread.

[u/AhrinEss]

Cover your drinks ladies

[u/TSAOutreachTeam]

His cursive is confusing. At first glance, it looks like a child's writing, but staring at it a bit makes me appreciate the flair John's put into his lettering.

[u/debbilsavocado → u/TSAOutreachTeam]

the loop for the l helps him feel fancy

[u/AdWhole7552]

Might be a slight smirk. Like he has a wife standing there reminding him to look normal

[u/hedge36]

John Sample isn't allowed within 50 yards of an elementary school.

[u/ButterNutDoIt]

That's dudes from port n orchard silver Dale his names mark mark co*****

[u/EntropyNegotiator]

https://giphy.com/gifs/DSCIqgDoZZcDQqYPZn
Chopper Reid would like a word

[u/RockThe40oz666]

He's an organ donor. Just not his organs.

[u/rwrife]

Guaranteed that guy has done some prison time for doing weird stuff to animals.

[u/joahw]

Where were you on January 6th, Mr. Sample?

[u/No-Yam6595]

Probably just an autistic kid that got beat up by his parents because it was hard to raise and love

[u/Drnkdrnkdrnk]

Lost friend?

[u/blachat]

He look like the kinda guy that shows up to your house for a plumbing inspection and walks out with your copper pipes ripped out the walls

[u/ResidentNewt4261]

165? Yea, in your bra