Just gotta rant about it.

I got a broken molar removed yesterday. 0/10 experience; would absolutely not recommend.

My tooth had 4 roots instead of the usual 2 for that tooth and they were all curved intensely inward like fingers gripping my jaw bone.

The dentist had to take it out in fragments and said I have weird anatomy. IT TOOK AN HOUR TO REMOVE A SINGLE MOLAR.

Recovery is going good though, thankfully.

I have a picture of the fragmented tooth I can show if that's allowed here.

Maybe I’ve been offline for too long but I came on here to ask some personal questions and every time the comments seemed more engaged in trying to prove me wrong than actually trying help me in my situation and give advice. It’s like they had zero trust that I was telling the truth. Like why else would I ask? Any detail I didn’t think to add suddenly became a blank to fill with what the commenters THINK happened.

Am I crazy or have things changed on here?

The bots on Reddit are starting to become far too much.

I have been banned from 5 pages this week because I offered support and guidance (not a sale) to people in need or asking questions.

The claims have been made that i was trying to solicit or sell them something, but at no point did i say or lead towards trying to get money from them, and it was not my intention either.

I think a lot of the time the bots seem to read your bio and make assumptions about who you are and what you're doing.

yes ok i have (not anymore) in my bio that I'm a career coach and I help people, blah blah blah, and yes, I get paid for that. but doesnt mean I'm here saying "pay me". If someone checks my bio and thinks, "hmm, that could be just what I need", then great, and if not, then great.

The only thing that will happen is the risk of overdose. Just give them the safe amount instead of saying “noooo don’t do it 🥺”
That’s my rant.

i need advice

so i matched with this girl on tinder in february of this year. we immediately hit it off, convo was smooth, funny we had similar humor and she was very flirty just like me. it didn’t take energy to talk to her which i love the most with people cause a lot of times talking to people is draining

well she was only in the states for that night before she went home and we added each other on snap. we were basically talking to each other damn near everyday for 7 months, long ass ft for 8hrs talking about anything and everything, it was coo, no strings attached but we were both attracted to each other.

i finally meet her cause she moved to my state with her family n shit. we meet, get the lil awkwardness out and we’ve been vibing ever since. going on road trips, hikes, i met her older siblings she’s with, she matched my freak somewhat lol.

i kinda put myself in a position where idk if i wanna make her my girlfriend or not, i should mention im military and moving states in like 6 months lol. she’s great when im with her we laugh all the time but something is making me hesitant on if i want to be with her for the rest of my life.

some red flags for me are like she has heart problems where her bpm gets mad high and doing some activities henders her from doing them(i’m a very active person) but she still does them. uh she’s in debt, just like me lol, she works serving jobs, coffee shops, she just got a job at a dermatologist place. she wants to be a stay at home mom which is coo but i don’t wanna be the only one working if it’s not enough to bring home for the fam ya know. she’s attractive but ive been with really attractive women and idk if i would think otherwise in the future about her idk im all over the place.

she has great qualities too like she cooks, she’s clean, she’s not lazy, goes to the gym, family values, goals for the future and a lot of other green flags. i kinda feel like if we got married maybe i would be settling instead of trying to pursue someone im more not so nervous about getting with i guess.

im sorry that was super duper long and most yall not gonna read it but just curious what yall think lol. she’s a great woman and would be great to her man i just don’t know if i want that maybe. idk im stuck 😭😭😭

I’m honestly so tired of having to hold it together just so everyone else is comfortable. Tonight, I got assaulted in a public place, and I’m more angry about people not doing what they should to prevent that sort of thing than I am about the assault itself. I was so angry, I wanted to fight my attacker.

Most of the time, I’m nice to everyone. I’m always helping everyone. I try not to take things too personally. I put in 110% day in and day out and it never seems to be enough for anyone. People always want me to be perfect. More pollyanna. More pleasant. Have a boring, outgoing personality where you’re supposed to act like everything is great and you’re so extroverted, you always say the perfect thing and you just LOVE spilling your whole life story to everyone because you are SUCH a people person. You must ALWAYS have something interesting and insightful to say, otherwise, you’re deemed as not worth talking to. God forbid you be on the quieter side.

I’m weirdly more angry about the fact that I’m always punished for expressing my real self than I am about getting assaulted. I tried to fight back and that made me feel better. It made me feel better that I didn’t just take it. Fuck my attacker. But why, the employees there couldnt’ be bothered to make the area safer? I don’t know??

I’m expected to be perfect all the time. I resent the fact that everyone else gets to be 40% all the time and nobody says anything to them! If I’m less than perfect, people resent me, they judge me, they push me to side. Oh no, the coworker who gets to work late, leaves work early, always takes days off gets way more leniency than I do. Where’s the support when I need it. what do I get? People who act holier-than-thou acting like they would do better if they were in my shoes. The same people who crumble when they have minor setbacks. Oh please. They wouldn’t last very long at all. People who make dumb decisions all the time, always failing, or just do way less somehow get more respect, just because *vibes*.

(minor USA politics mentioned)

My roommate threw out my absentee ballot, didn’t tell me.
He said, “I assumed you weren’t going to use it, it’d been on the table for two weeks.”
Which, fair, it shouldn’t have been on the table for so long, but he’s had no problem with putting my mail in my room before, LIKE I DO WITH HIS MAIL. (I usually bring the mail inside, he’s at work most of the time when it arrives, I sort out the mail, and ALWAYS ask him before I throw anything away.)
And then he’s like, “it’s not such a big deal,” and “why do you care so much?”
IDK maybe because gas is 5$ a gallon? Because our taxes are being spent on a foreign nation instead of, god forbid, fixing potholes and giving children free lunch at school.
I feel upset, and disrespected.

See, I ordered these wide in-fitted black 'emo grunge Y2K' pants, and some kid in this tight ass sweat pants (looks like Lululemon) said 'Holy baggy-blidness!'

You bitches make a new corny ass term for something you don't like every year don't you? I mean, I'm not mad that he said I have baggy-blindness (what ever in the actual fuck that means) its that fact that he seen my pants and like his face immediately just lit up. He couldn't fucking wait to tell someone they had baggy-blidness.

Anyway, these 'emo grunge Y2K' pants are fucking great

I was diagnosed with gastroperesis due to the use of semiglutide. I've had all the tests, labs, procedures, and surgeries that they provide. They exhausted their resources and referred me to a motility clinic. Before I could get the referral, I noticed I was losing weight. I weighed myself and I have lost 53lbs in 5 months, 14lbs of that has been in the last 2 weeks. It's getting worse. I went to the ER. They admitted me and put me in a program called hospital at home. I am considered a patient of the hospital, in my own home. The nurses come out twice a day too give me IV meds and others. So, a new set of eyes! They don't know what to do either. They are researching ideas they can try.... as they search for something that will help me, I'm still not eating due to the pain and nausea im having. Plus I'm in college for medical assisting and just trying to keep up. Let, I want to give up. I'm so tired. Pain and nausea daily is my norm. ... but nobody can help me. Wtf!

I apologize. This is going to be a very long post because I need to vent about this.

Let me say this before I vent. I love my brother. He has been in my life since I was 1.5 years old.

I love him and would never do any harm to him.

But sometimes.. Agghhhhh!!!

Listen you may call me an a-hole but I should tell you that he is a diagnosed mild mentally-challenged person. Meaning he's slow developmentally.

I don't fault him for that. He can be slow but for all intents and purposes, he is capable of doing everything. He just.. doesn't want to do it. And that infuriates me.

He can think.

He can do physical labor.

He can attempt set alarms to remind him of everything.

He can follow instructions.

How do I know all this? Because he has done it in thr first 22-24 years of his life. But the moment he decided he is all grown up, because his so called friend told him that he is a little b***h who follows his family's advice and sticks to it, he doesn't want to do anything. Even when we told him its for his own good.

He got scammed 3 times! The got scammed 3 times and exposed himself to the scammer and the scammer sent our family members his genitals! Only then, after he got shamed, he stopped trying tk find online girlfriends. Stupid ass.

I am fed up because several times he asked for advice about a project he wants to do related to his course at the time. And I gave him good advice. He decided to not follow it. He instead proceed to give money to his other "friends" and got scammed by them. Why? Because he decided my advice was too hard and he wants get an easy way out.

And when his money is gone, he went to my parents. They complained to me and yet they still gave him money. Why? Because they pity him.

I told him to get a job, any job that takes before the pandemic and he wouldn't! Insisting that he can't do menial labor because he gets too tired.

That pissed me off because he has a best friend who has a similar condition to him.

He is very independent. Listens to advice. He seeks advice when he doesn't know what to do. He even seeks me out when he needs help on something he thinks I am a better expert on than his brothers.

He hates not working. He works any job he can get even though he is a talented artist. Nobody wants to hire him because of his limitations. I'm sure he will get his break someday. I am impressed by him because he doesn't like to do nothing and keeps trying to find a job when he gets laid off.

And my brother? He finally went to get a job because I gave him an ultimatum. Find a job and stick with it for 6 months. Using the government assistance programs for people like him to find a job. If he doesn't I will tell my parents to cut him off and show him what it's like to not have any parental or monetary support.

I wanted him to get a job experience. 6 months is already good.

He finally got a job. And he quit after 3 months! His boss was even happy to let him go! Why you ask? Apparently he doesn't do the job they ask of him properly. He was supposed to clear and clean tables. Welcome people when they come in. And he just sits at the host chair and blanks out. Until his manager barks at him.

And his manager gave him and out after 3 months. He took it! After we told him to hold on until 6 months to get bis resume to look good.

I told him then and there. I'm done caring about him and his life.

I'm done. Whatever he decides to do from now on, I won't care unless it affects the family.

I really stopped helping and caring after that.

Now, he apologized for it several times. I already forgave him for his past actions He looks like he learned his lesson. But now everytime he talks to me, I get irritated.

It irritates me because he is capable of doing so many things. But he turns off his brain. Like he can think and ask before doing anything. He just doesn't do it. Not because he doesn't know how but because he decided he knows how to do it and then messes up.

For example when I moved into my new home. I needed help carrying heavy stuff. I had a slipped disc and busted shoulder, so I needed help. And he just doesn't want to do it. In the end, my sister and I had to do the heavy lifting ourselves. Until my husband(he was putting together shelves with his brothers) saw it, got mad and told him to carry the heavy boxes upstairs. He finally got intimidated and did it. He just doesn't want to do it because he was "tired" and "not strong enough" bull***t. But when his best friend actually came over to help me, he felt like he should help suddenly. And then he went and pulled his friend outside instead of doing the work. His friend came back inside to help me and he still stayed outside until i snapped and yelled at him.

And he had the audacity to look hurt. He gets very triggered when I said the word lazy.

I once told him he should be more like his best friend who is very independent and works because he doesn't like idling.

And what did he say to me?? He said I should compare him to other people. That I was mean. Saying he is not like other people. I told him that other mentally handicapped people who are like him can hold down jobs. Even physically handicapped people can hold down jobs. I told him that he was lucky he was born into a family who can afford to take care of him until now. Because other people are not so lucky.

I finally got fed up and told him to live his own life. Don't expect me to help him out.

And now I can't deal with him.

I get too irritated when he talks to me. I still talk to him. Be civil but when he messes up or irritates me I just walked away and don't engage. We're still family so I see him a lot. But its hard not to get irritated at him.

I hate this. I feel like I shouldn't do this to him. But I just can't deal with him anymore. I just want him to do something of himself and listen to advice and do the right thing but at this point.

I hope one day, this irritated feeling will go away.

Anyways. Sorry again for the long post.

And if there are any errors, sorry English is my second language.

This for me is really the last bit of willpower I have with Discord and its stupid policies, moderation, and even its community to a certain degree. I'm really sick and tired of it so please read this the whole way through because I cant post this anywhere else without Karma.

I do not use Discord often and I only use it to make friends and contact my own friends who are literally oceans away from me. On October 11th of this year I got a mark on my account in which I got limited for "spamming" which I don't believe I was I was only dming a lot of people at most 5 per day each with different messages, different everything to make it obvious I was not spamming. I have had this account for 6 months since June 2nd of this year doing the same thing and have not been flagged once for it. This limitation has basically made my discord useless and pretty much makes me want to delete it.

After about a night of waiting they told me I was allowed to use discord normally again in which I added 3 people every couple of hours and hesitated to join any servers in the first place. I had a right for these doubts as on the same day I got another limitation for spamming and made my discord useless for another day so no one could contact me at all.

These two warnings would not be an issue at all if they didn't last me until 2028. To put that into perspective I would be 18 in college by the time my accounts could actually become functional again and im able to use the app normally. These were also false bans as I was being careful with my account and I was not given any rules about how to go about the current limitations of my account.

I had a second account to keep all my friends logged on where I was and how I am and I was planning to make that my main but the same false report thing happened once again and I as booted out of the account with no warning and no way back into it making me ditch a bunch of new people I met from that account and having no way to add them to the previous account.

Again this wouldn't be an issue if this was like the previous violation but this time someone friended me and the moment I answered back they flagged me and booted me off my account completely with no time to read the reason and no time to react.

KEYWORD SOMEONE ELSE GOT ME FLAGGED NOT EVEN ME THIS TIME

Ive had to go back to my previous account and explain to my friends how I couldn't access the account because of this setup of a friend request which doesn't even evaluate for all the friends I lost off of the other account which right now dont even know what happened.

To end this off I just wanna say Discord has really changed me for the worst when I think about it. Always putting me into situations no one my age should be in and taking down all other forms of my social life off of discord let it be on TikTok Instagram etc. Discord has made me more disconnected from my friends, made me lose time to do stuff I love doing like sim racing, playing chess, hanging out with family. It has turned me into a husk of my former glory and I dont know how many people has felt that as well.

Please if you have read this far I thank you from the bottom of my heart I genuinely am exhausted with this mini hell that Discord has put me through and I am really considering leaving for another year or so to start fresh again with everything I lost. Please discuss in the comments I will read it and respond when I can.

Thank you all for reading this rant.

Disclaimer: No racial intent because I'm talking about people from my own country.

When I say 'my own people,' I mean Filipinos because I'm from the Philippines. But, like, I literally vented in a sub for Filipinos to rant and vent, and it was about how two people from my country ridiculed me because I kept pointing out the corruption in the Philippines. I also pointed out some psychological aspects as well because it's not always about politics; it's also the mindset. I was expecting fellow OFWs to agree with me, but instead, I got more Filipinos in the Philippines ridiculing me because I was born and raised abroad. Some even thought I was Fil-Am or Amboy (Filipino-American) when I'm not; I live in Thailand. The reason I'm worried about the corruption in the Philippines is that Thailand and other Southeast Asian countries have developed considerably despite the corruption, while the Philippines is stuck. Another reason is that my parents are planning to retire in the Philippines, but the corruption is starting to make it seem impossible. Also, my relatives and friends are still there. I have Filipinos on Reddit who ridiculed me have everything on a silver platter while everyone else is dealing with poverty and floods. They also refused to see that people my age ended up side hustling after graduating from university just to earn more money. Like they refuse to see the problem; they just think everything is fine and that the OFWs who pointed out the corruption are crazy. I still can't believe only one Pinoy actually agreed with me, while the replies I got that got upvotes were people literally disagreeing with me. Like, feel free to disagree, just don't go around insulting OFWs who actually care about the country they're from. At this point, I might as well get my parents to rant on that sub for me because they can speak Tagalog and I don't. And God forbid I literally have to use Google Translate to translate some comments because I simply can't understand them. I'm trying my best, but OMG it does feel like a nosebleed, and I'm really sorry if my whole rant is literally a nosebleed for you. It's already overwhelming when your parents want you to fix your Thai instead of teaching you Tagalog just because you're in Thailand. You'd understand if you were born to parents who are OFWs in a country whose official language isn't even English. Also, because I live in Thailand, foreigners do not have power in the country; all they can do is pay taxes. We'd have to be Thai citizens for us to at least have power, but because this country has no birthright citizenship, I'm stuck with being a Filipino with a Thai name, house registration and birth certificate. Being Filipino, my only power is just being an unlicensed therapist for the diaspora (I'm working on a psychology certificate) and voting for president. Just please, if an overseas Filipino points out corruption, actually listen to them; don't ridicule them just because they're part of the diaspora. Also, I can't work in the Philippines; I have a family to support, and I don't think the Philippines can provide me enough to support my parents, unlike the Thai baht and other stronger currencies.

Also, I wish I had screenshot proof, but I deleted that post because I got overwhelmed by my own people, and I just wanted to move on, not dwell on this and focus on my studies because maybe my knowledge could help the Philippines improve. I only needed to let this out. I thought Filipinos were accepting, hospitable and kind, but I was wrong on all counts. These are the same people who treat OFWs as walking ATMs, and that OFWs shouldn't even be complaining. We want the country to improve simply so that we won't bear the burden of paying a million pesos to relatives and can just enjoy our lives abroad without money worries. I know 'utang na loob' is voluntary, but some people literally abuse it. It's just a reminder that not all OFWs are in the US or Canada; many countries function differently. At this point, there has to be a separate sub for OFWs and their third-culture children to rant/vent in English without nosebleeds or headaches from fellow Filipinos. Just a quick reminder that if you're an OFW or a child of OFWs, do not rant in Filipino subs if you're not ready for the ridicule from other Filipinos. At this point, only OFWs are genuinely hospitable, based on my experiences.

There. Fixed.

I got permabanned for talking about my depression and the situations I am currently in that are making it worse. And they keyboard warrior behind the mod was a dick when I said I figured asking me to take it down or change the post would have been a better first step than jumping to perma ban.

Even the baking thread was nicer and just told me to re-clarify I was asking a question even tho the post was called "Assistance with a recipe" and the body of the post was FULL of questions.

I'm tired of these crazy ass power hungry catty fucking mods who get off on this shit. I literally can't take it anymore I'm done.

I go to seek help from people who felt the same thing I did and got gigabanned. What the fuck! Best fucking moderation. Shouldn't have fucking posted. I'll keep quiet about my struggles now.

I made a sub recently. Not for power tripping or to even have loads of people there, just for myself.

Reddit keeps pressuring me to "invite people to your sub!" HELL NO that's so cringe bro wtf

They also pressured me to join subs for fellow moderators, I get a notification everyday about how I need to post there to "keep the community going," there's an entire checklist of tasks that I'm apparently supposed to do to grow this dumb little sub

What if I just want it to be there when people find it? What if I don't wanna do constant self promo? What if I just don't care? Is that allowed anymore? Are we allowed to just like, do things and not make it our entire identity?

Idk wtf this rant is about. Ima keep my dumb lil sub up but goddammit reddit is pissing me off with these dumb checklists

I posted earlier about a mod being a raging dick, but the reason was because of this assholes reply to my NSFW post on a subreddit.

In what fucking world does some fucknut think they have the right to accuse me of being a 'lier' when it comes to having been r@ped?!

As if being r@ped 9 years ago & not having sex since means I would never want to try again. As if my looking for some kind of intimacy means I have to absolutely be lying about some part of my r@pe & the aftermath.As if being r@ped means anything other than a fucking crime was committed to my body that left it so damaged for 9 years that I no longer feel like a complete woman.

Fuck him. Fuck every person who agrees with him. And fuck my r@pist, I hope his current court case sends his ass to jail. I am certain he has harmed many women.

So I will forever choose the fucking bear.

I don't think this is a good coping mechanism. When someones post bothers me, I'd unfollow. I hyper analyze my classmates and I unfriend most of them. I tried to deal with it keeping them as fb friends but it's always bothering me. Blocking gives me peace but I can't do this all the time.
I do have hobbies but once im on my phone and see people I follow or fb friends making insensitive jokes, todo parinig sa post or sa notes(towards me or not), or those who have imaginary haters, i would get annoyed or irritated. I would give them chances to the point i feel like “it’s too much” then boom unfriend, unfollow, or worse case, block.

If I keep doing this, I won't have friends 🫪🙏🙏 like rn I don't even have friends sa classroom. I isolate myself with my classmates, don't go to hangouts, don't engage with Chika. I use to with one ex close friend but turns out she also talk behind my back.

I love how politics has infiltrated practically every subculture, culture, religion and community in general.

People will go inside these groups and then divide those groups along the lines of:

Men and women

White and non white

Old and young

LGBTQ and heteronormative

Etc.

and make everything about politics. The result is that every community loses the unique worldview, characteristics and social norms that make them what they are and you end up with one bland monoculture, zero creativity, zero freedom of expression and zero diversity.

People are very stupid.

Rather than develop their own, group specific internal politics, they allow themselves to be colonized and sorted into these broad, generalized, one dimensional categories of: men, women, skin color, sexual orientation, etc. so now, no matter where you go or who you're talking to, you're always just talking to the same type of people wearing different clothing, regurgitating the same lines of dialogue.

So I just called the Florida board of massage. It took me forever to get someone on the phone. When i asked my question they said, I'll connect you to the correct department. Of course they never did. Instead they put me on hold until the end of the day because they didn't feel like trying to figure out an answer to my question.

I booked an appointment to see a specialist and forgot the time of my appointment. I called and twice they put me on hold until the office closed and hung up. I guess that was a bullet dodged. I called back once and it went to an answering service with this rude woman. She told them i gave them an attitude. The office manager calls me back and says I'm banned from the practice. She also tells me she looked and couldn't find my appointment scheduled anywhere but she was recently hired to get the place back on track. The day of my appointment they call me asking me if I'm coming in for my appointment. I replied how would I be able to come in if your manager called me and told me I'm banned. The person that called me just hung up in my face. That made me feel better because clearly I'm not the problem if they couldn't find my appointment for days, banned me, and then didn't realize they banned me.

But I've had several instances of calling a business or the government and being put on hold until it was conveniently too late to answer my question.

Dear state of Florida, if you're going to have a vague ass law that can result in me losing my occupational license, maybe have people available to answer questions about the got damn law! This is why people love Mamdani, he's doing the extremely basic shit that so many politicians ignore.

​Mr. Trump,

​This is not a game of war for ten-year-old boys shooting stick guns at each other. This is horrific, brutal reality.

​I was forced to flee abroad with my child to keep them safe, but my heart, my family, and my friends are still there, living under constant bombardment. Every single day, I live through the news, terrified for the lives of those I love.

​Yet, you and your circle act like we don't want peace, like we are somehow to blame for defending our own borders. I’ve heard this insanity before - like acquaintances calling us from Russia, trying to convince us that "nobody is shooting at you, you are shooting yourselves." Are you all in your right minds? Are you serious? If your country was invaded and your families were under attack, what would you do? Hand over your land and abandon your people?

​There is a famous American saying: "Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes." Until you sit in terror reading news of sirens and strikes while your loved ones are trapped underneath them, you will never understand what we are going through.

​Let’s get one thing straight: Ukraine is not to blame for this war, nor are we to blame for the lack of peace. I grew up in a Russian-speaking family, and I speak Ukrainian fluently. Putin’s excuse for this war is a lie, a sick fabrication built on senile dementia and imperial ambition. Because of his madness, I now hate Russia for what it has done to my country. Everything you pretend to stand for is a lie when you buy into this propaganda.

​To be honest, I knew the moment you returned to power that things would go completely to hell for everyone.

​You talk about wanting a Nobel Peace Prize. A Peace Prize for what? For genocide? For torn-apart families who can't reunite? For deciding who lives and dies while you sit in warmth and safety? Instead of stopping Putin, you strip us of our protection and give him a green light.

​History will not remember you as a peacemaker. It will remember you as a coward who enabled tyrants. How do you sleep at night knowing what your choices cost us?

​Stop the betrayal. Stop enabling the aggressor.

​Signed,

A mother and citizen of a country bleeding right now.

I know there are bigger fish to fry. Let me be irritated.

I don't know how modding works. I figured there was a filter for some words and "mosaic" got caught up in it. The sub in question has a "no ai discussion" rule and that's cool with me, but I wasn't talking about ai. Was just trying to let them know "hey maybe un-flag this word or something"

And it's not like ALL words with "ai" in the spelling got caught up in this filter I'm imagining because I was allowed to write "stain" without issue

So why are the tools only picking up on the "ai" in "mosaic" and not "stain" ???

I just wanted to talk about hobbies. Damn.

im a 18F first year international student who just got in a community college in CA. My parents didnt have any college saving so made me go on bunch of loans.

trust me I was very much so, absolutely determined to pass every one of my classes, but now, im afraid i wont be able to bc i just cant seem to study.
i dont know if its bc i had never, i mean never studied back in highschool. Mainly due to the fact that i thought there was no need bc i passed almost evey exams everytime (and also bc of my depression, which i had been battling for 2 years, that i have become so “drained” or “overwhelmed” easily.)

i recently just got 19% on my math exam and it absolutely crushed my spirit. Now i cant afford to get lower than C+ any of my future exams but i dont know how i will manage that. My next exam is in 9 days and it covers 7 topics…

im also in an economics class (which i got in 2 week after semester started) so i just completely abandoned it on studying bc i was so far left behind. Only using gemini for it. and im absolutely ashamed of myself. im a pro anti gen ai and never used it before this but it was the only thing i could do.

all i have been doing is drawing, watching yt documentaries, playing games and sleeping on my free time. i genuinely dont know how to study it feels so bad to waste my time on meaningless things while simultaneously throwing my parents money down the drain. i feel so bad for my parents.

I (31 M) have never had a serious relationship. I went on one date that never went anywhere, I had a handful of hookups (not regretful, not exactly proud either), and I never really felt desirable so I never put any effort into it.
I’m a 5’5” man, with a stocky frame, a massive head, socially awkward, and bisexual. So I’m not really anyone’s type, much less most women’s type. I’ve made peace with my “undesirability” when I was in my early 20s and faced constant rejection from women, and most men didn’t want me beyond a hookup. So after the pandemic, I became reclusive and really focused on work. The problem is after turning 30, some of the same peers that would reject me, and make fun of me for even trying to date, are now badgering about being single at 31. And I understand this is the age most people get married, build lives, have kids. But I feel like people are treating me like I’m robbing someone of a husband, when that someone wouldn’t have even wanted me in the first place.
My boss tried to set me up with someone after I told her no, and the woman looked at me in disgust, and it took my already low self esteem down several pegs. Another coworker tried to set me up why her gay friend because she “always wanted to see a gay wedding” then I got villainized because I wasn’t attracted to the guy and didn’t wanna waste his time. And I have family members that used to make fun of me and call me ugly asking when I’m gonna give them grandkids, nieces, and nephews. Or if I’m gonna find a nice man and adopt kids.
It’s just weird to me, I’ve given up on this dream of romance and family and made real peace and comfort with myself; to then have EVERYONE in my face ask me when I’m gonna find someone… I’ve had coworkers and random people call me incel, one implied I must be a pedophile, I cussed her out then got written up (I no longer work there), I just feel this weird 180 shift when I wanna be left ALONE!!!!
And I know this doesn’t only happen to men, people are definitely assholes to women who are single past a certain age, but when a man is single, and doesn’t have interest, I think people assume something dark or nefarious, or something is “wrong” with him and it genuinely annoys me. Idk… maybe I’m ranting, but this all feel annoying