I'm starting to wonder whether the principle in many gender debates isn't “don't judge people unfairly,” but “women shouldn't be negatively judged by men.”

A comedian jokes about women wearing extremely revealing gym clothes and it's misogyny. Meanwhile, men have been mocked forever as gym bros for grunting, posing, filming, staring, or dropping heavy weights.

A man insults a woman's appearance and it's misogyny. Billie Eilish tells women to stop dating “ugly men,” and it's treated very differently. Imagine a male celebrity saying, “Men, stop dating ugly women.”

Men are told we're responsible for challenging toxic men around us sometimes even blamed for unknowingly associating with abusers. Yet women can knowingly date, defend, stream, and turn problematic male celebrities into trends without the same collective responsibility.

Then there's “women aren't a monolith.” Neither are men. Yet “yes, all men,” “men are trash,” and similar rhetoric gets defended with “obviously we don't literally mean every man.” Fine,extend that same nuance when women are discussed.

False rape accusations are sometimes dismissed as too rare to warrant attention, while postpartum psychosis affecting roughly 0.1–0.2% of deliverie is rightly considered worthy of awareness. Rare suffering apparently matters until the wrong group brings up theirs.

I'm not arguing women shouldn't criticize men or defend themselves from unfair criticism.I'm asking what makes criticism “unfair.”

Because if the answer changes depending on which sex is being judged, fairness isn't the principle.

Maybe the objection isn't sexism

Maybe it's men being allowed to judge women at all.

For starters, the blue pill mob can't automatically write these men off as involuntary celibates due to their looks.

Because these men are physically attractive enough to get attention from women.

The problem is that they simply don't care about pursuing women or participating in the dating scene.

And I think this genuinely pisses off certain women because these men aren't adhering to traditional male gender roles.

Men are still expected to approach women, initiate conversations, flirt, ask women out, and pursue romantic relationships.

But attractive asocial men aren't interested in performing those roles just because society expects them to.

And that's where the irony comes in.

We constantly hear about how women don't exist to entertain men or provide men with romantic and sexual attention.

Yet some people suddenly have a problem when attractive men adopt that exact same attitude toward women.

An attractive asocial man can be perfectly content minding his own business.

He isn't necessarily shy, insecure, socially incompetent, misogynistic, or afraid of rejection.

He simply doesn't have much interest in socializing, dating, or seeking validation from women.

And that's something certain people apparently have a difficult time understanding.

Because society has normalized the idea that men are supposed to constantly desire female attention.

Especially attractive men, who are often assumed to be interested in taking advantage of their romantic opportunities.

But being physically attractive doesn't automatically make someone interested in dating.

And having opportunities to pursue women doesn't mean a man is obligated to take advantage of them.

Just like women, men have the right to decide whether romantic relationships are worth their time.

This also exposes another contradiction involving traditional gender roles.

Some women claim they want men to stop bothering them, approaching them, or seeking their attention.

But when an attractive man genuinely leaves women alone, his lack of interest can suddenly become something to question.

And notice how quickly people can start making assumptions about these men.

They must secretly be gay, arrogant, emotionally damaged, socially awkward, or hiding some kind of insecurity (small D).

Apparently, a heterosexual or even demisexual man simply being uninterested in pursuing women is too difficult for some people to comprehend.

And I think attractiveness makes this situation even more interesting.

Because an unattractive asocial man can easily be dismissed as someone who supposedly couldn't get women anyway.

But an attractive asocial man challenges that narrative because his lack of participation isn't necessarily caused by a lack of options.

That's why these men can expose how deeply traditional male gender roles remain ingrained in people's expectations.

Men are supposed to pursue, compete, impress, initiate, and constantly demonstrate their interest in women.

And when attractive men refuse to participate, some people interpret that refusal as something being wrong with them.

The irony is that these men are doing exactly what society constantly tells men to do: leave women alone and stop making everything about getting female attention.

Yet certain people still find a reason to criticize them because they're not performing the traditional masculine role of the pursuer.

Apparently, men rejecting traditional gender roles is only acceptable until women stop benefiting from those roles.

Source: Me. This is my experience.

Not sure if you are aware, but many women online will try to paint guys who date young women as losers who can't date women their own age.

Personally I find this ridiculous since young women are on average the best looking and most sought after women with options and this unsurprisingly means the competition is harder to compete with.

I will acknowledge that there may be some types of men where it is easier for them Personally to date younger, but I argue this is an exception and generally going after younger women is going to be a lot harder than trying to date in your own age range (I know it has been for me).

Is this something something that this sub actually believes?

I’m sick of this bs narrative that a lot of women come on here and perpetuate about not knowing about the guy who’s a simp for them. You know that guy who’s constantly rubbing your feet, paying for your shit and texting you 24/7 wants you. Unless you were literally born in a remote tribe you know the guy is interested in you. I’m not saying you should be with the guy bc you absolutely don’t owe anyone anything but don’t play dumb. You’re simply milking it until you feel like you’ve gotten as much as you can out of the benefits of being on that side.

Whenever the topic or certain cases about abusive women abusing men comes up, theres always people that are quick to come in and say "why are you making this a gendered issue, both genders abuse and isolate their victims", which subverts the discussion away from bringing awareness about male victims of abuse.

Yes, both genders abuse, and get abused. But the tactics, social contexts, and vulnerabilities leveraged to achieve isolation and abuse often differ significantly due to gender socialization, societal expectations, and structural inequalities.

Abusive men lean on physical fear and enforce domestic roles to isolate women, we all know this. Although this can also exist with abusive women, its not the primary method they use to abuse men.

Abusive women instead lean on social stigma and shame to isolate men.

• They frequently isolate men by attacking their identity as independent, capable men. they may mock a man's career, finances, or status, making him feel inadequate and too embarrassed to talk to colleagues or friends about what is happening at home.
• Men are aware that society takes male victimization less seriously, that police or public systems may misunderstand the dynamic, or that he might be disbelieved or even laughed at. Abusive women exploit this by explicitly threatening, "if you tell anyone, i’ll tell them you hit me, and no one will believe you."
• If children are involved, female abusers often leverage traditional family structures to cut men off from broader social circles by controlling access to the children or framing social outings as a neglectful abandonment of the family.

The patriarchy exists, but it doesn’t exist for everyone.

Much in the same way that the financial elite and right-wingers like to push the narrative that immigrants are the big problem and that the working class will be saved if we deal with all the immigrants which distracts from the fact that it’s the 1% hoovering up all the wealth, the feminist narrative that men as a whole are the problem and that they should all be blamed and that all men are the enemy and the all men suppress women actually benefits the very very top men because it distracts from and minimises the fact that it’s not the majority of men at all, it’s the rich and powerful.

The gender war is promoted by the elite between women and men. But women actually have for the most part in the modern day way more power, they have more power socially and in the workplace and financially and most definitely in the realm of relationships and sexual dynamics. Women literally hold all the cards in every single way.

Now in the same way that yes, some crime and some economic issues do come from immigration the negative effects and act committed by these individuals are not the main reason that the economy is in the shitter. But it’s a convenient little enemy for the bottom 90% to have to blame because it stops them scrutinising and resisting the oppression from the elite.

Nobody benefits from the gender wars more than the top tier men. They get to turn the majority of women on the majority of men and make women feel like all their problems are coming from most men instead of the top tier men who have all the money all the power and also all the women.

On average being a man in the bottom 90% makes you the lowest tier of human. You are disadvantage in every way compared to the majority of women and yet women have the luxury of believing they are the victims because of Apex fallacy and the top 10% of men are pressing everybody but blaming it on males as a whole.

Some General Statistics of Porn:

Among U.S. adults 18-35, about 87% of men and 28.5% of women view porn at least once a week.

On average, boys are exposed to porn by age 10 and girls by age 13

88% of the 50 most viewed videos depicted physical aggression.

48% of 50 most viewed videos displayed acts of verbal aggression.

90% of these videos contained real physical, sexual, or verbal violence against women.

It's pretty obvious porn is bad and watching it can lead to addiction and negative affects:

It can lead to depression, isolation, erectile dysfunction, relationship breakdown, distorted sexual expectations, and reduced well-being—eroding real-life sexual activity, intimacy, and self-esteem.

Hence to address this it would be ideal if porn was banned and only AI porn was allowed that people had to pay for and provide ID and login to access.

This would prevent children from accessing porn and the harm that comes from it. It would also prevent porn of women who were forced into it being displayed and the negative affect of porn on women's careers.

"“Women are lured in, coerced and forced to do sex acts they never agreed to do… [and given] drugs and alcohol to help get [them] through hardcore scenes…The porn industry is modern-day slavery.”

https://youtu.be/VVHJW5j7cYQ?si=McqRLlqTpJGIh1z6

"That day, she would become one of the hundreds of young women who had been exploited between 2015 and 2019 by GirlsDoPorn (GDP), a wildly popular "amateur" porn production company that garnered well over a billion views, ranking around the 20th-most popular channel on Pornhub, and reportedly generated an estimated $17 million dollars in revenue."

https://youtu.be/wxz300TepIE?si=85Hkma0RgR_hbISk

Dr. Mahri Irvine, Adjunct Professional Lecturer at American University, said, “I really wish that people who watch porn knew more about that. Because I think they believe that they’re engaging in this activity in a very passive way. And they’re like, ‘Oh, I’m doing it in the privacy of my own home and this is just a video that I’m watching’. And they’re not associating it with the fact that pornography is very often the filmed rape of sex trafficking victims.”

Another option is for women to refuse to date or sleep with men who still watch porn. This would create real change in culture of society if women put their foot down on the matter.

it is rare to see women actually care about what men say about anything. i believe actually that women even pretend to be offended by men say anything about women. you can argue that is reasonable to be annoyed but when men complain i have never seen women say yes i will change this thing. the women that do are treated like enemies by women.

half of men content complaining about women even on reddit will still end with this is how you should change so they will like you anyway. i think women only respond so they can collect data for narrative.

if you ignore it men will continue to complain and it will die out when we dont see any result. i know because even i stop being delusional when i realise everything is because of interest disparity between men and women.

blame yourselves.