I've had family in prison. If you've been there, you know the first weeks: someone you love has gone in, and you're trying to answer basic questions. When will they ring? When can I visit? Why has the phone gone quiet? What can I send? The answers were spread across a GOV.UK page that says very little, Facebook groups asking the same thing fifty times a day, and sites that felt gimmicky or wanted to sell me something before they'd helped.
So just under a month ago I started a site where people share, anonymously (no names, no prisoner numbers), what actually happened to them. Every contribution is one person, one prison, one experience. There are 859 so far, from 106 prisons. Put together, they paint a picture nobody has published before. Here it is, in the order you'll live it.
Days 0–2: the first call
Of 209 people who shared when the first call came, 73% got it within 2 days. Most prisons give one call from reception or the first-night wing, often just to say where they are and that they're safe. That call usually comes before the PIN account is set up, so keep your phone charged and answer unknown numbers.
If you're told a first call happened and it didn't, push. One person at HMP Peterborough was told exactly that, asked for the governor on duty, and got a call within the hour.
Week 1–2: getting on the phone list
Of 237 people who shared their PIN wait, the typical wait was 6 days. But it isn't a bell curve. 44% were approved within 2 days, while 1 in 7 waited more than two weeks. It mostly depends on the prison: among those with at least four contributions, Liverpool, Manchester and Belmarsh were slowest (roughly 15–24 days), while Erlestoke, Altcourse, Berwyn and Nottingham were often 0–2 days. One person at Rochester was approved in 8 days while others there were still waiting around 3 weeks, so it can vary within the same prison too.
When people move between prisons, numbers often carry over. The 11 people who shared a transfer typically waited about a day.
Once on the phone, rules vary. At Frankland, one contributor said calls cut off at 40 minutes, there's an 80-minute daily allowance, and there's a 10-minute wait before you can call back.
Week 2: the first visit
Of 172 people who shared their first visit, the typical wait was 10 days, and 6 in 10 waited more than a week. At many prisons the person inside books it, so they need to be settled first.
What people wish they'd known before going:
- Bring photo ID and two proofs of address the first time. Expect fingerprints and a photo.
- Arrive early. At Bullingdon, one family gets there two hours before to make the first group through.
- No ripped jeans, no football tops, nothing low-cut or showing shoulders. Several said staff were more relaxed than they'd feared.
- Books can often be handed in at visits, but at Swinfen Hall one family said they took 3–4 weeks to reach him.
Every evening: the phones go down
People logged 114 phone outages across 36 prisons. 63% were reported after 6pm, exactly when families are waiting for a call. Fridays had the most and Sundays almost none. The causes people named were power cuts, network or Openreach work, maintenance (Berwyn's phones were off after 11pm all month), and lockdowns. Most came back the same day. If you've heard nothing all evening, it's very often the system, not them.
Email is slower than you'd think
This was the biggest surprise. Families described emails being released once a week in one batch (twelve arriving together on a Monday, in one case), replies taking 4–8 days at Liverpool and Preston, anything from 3 days to two weeks at Whatton, and six emails still undelivered after a month at Wealstun. At Stocken, one person said replies sent at weekends never reached them, so ask for weekday replies. Several people across different prisons hit the same eMates problem: no send button. When tablets or Wi-Fi went down at Parc, one person's partner couldn't even top up to call.
The 28-day parcel window nobody mentions
At many prisons, clothing parcels are only allowed within 28 days of sentencing, and the person inside has to apply first. Rules vary wildly: one a year at Parc, catalogue only at High Down, none at all at Whatton, and no black, white or navy at Hewell. One parcel to Wormwood Scrubs was returned two months later for a missing prison sticker. If you're early in a sentence, ask about parcels this week.
When they move, their property doesn't
Property after a transfer took weeks for several people, and one at Frankland said three months isn't unusual.
Release day
Most releases happen in the morning, roughly 8am to midday at Risley and Altcourse. But one person at Wormwood Scrubs was released at 7:30pm, so have a plan for either. One family said a loved one was released with nothing because his belongings had been lost.
What the data can't fix
People also used the site to say what life inside is like: lockdowns most weeks from staff shortages, 21–22 hours a day behind the door, food and healthcare complaints. These aren't numbers, but they're part of the picture families are living with.
The honest caveat
Most prisons still only have a handful of contributions, so treat any single figure as a rough guide. Every person who adds theirs makes it more accurate for the next family.
If you're in the middle of this right now: you're not doing anything wrong, and the silence usually isn't personal. And if you've been through it, what do you wish someone had told you at the start?
Disclosure: it's free, it's at prisoncheck.co.uk
