Yesterday, I arrived back at my apartment building after work, and I got off the elevator at my floor.

I was walking down the hall, and I noticed that one of my neighbors had put out a new welcome mat. It had a picture of a little weiner dog, with the words "The Grass Is Always Greener Under My Weiner."

"Aww that's cute!" I thought to myself. That apartment belongs to a nice young woman from Pakistan. She introduced herself to me when I moved in. She must have gotten a weiner dog...

Then I noticed that all the other apartment doors had new welcome mats too!! The apartment management must have gone around doling them out while I was at work! The people who own my apartment building are pretty fun, and they're often doing cutesy things like that.

There was a little brown welcome mat in front of my apartment! I was really hoping it would be Weiner-dog themed like the Pakistani girl's mat, but unfortunately it was just blank.

It wasn't until the key to my door wouldn't turn that I realized I had gotten off the elevator on the wrong floor...

The neighbourhood cats like to congregate in my garden. I’ve noticed a lot of them have snake like abilities and are able to squeeze under and into the smallest gaps. They all look pretty well fed and looked after so I have no concerns as to whether they are strays who might need my human input. When I wash the dishes I watch them through the window as if I’m part of a tiny wildlife show that’s made just for me.

This morning a ginger tom cat was eating grass, but not really eating it, just sort of pretending with a little gnaw here and there.

Sometimes if they start fighting I knock loudly on the window to remind them they are behaving inappropriately. I don’t allow bullying in my garden.

It happened years ago, when I was learning to drive, and whenever I remember I feel bad myself.

For context, in my country drive lesson are often taken in groups, and I think we were three people in the car that night, including the teacher.

So, here's what happened.

We were waiting at a red light behind a van with glass on the back and I noticed the head of a bald man facing us, looking down. It wouldn't have stood out to me were it not for the fact that he was very, very, veeeeeeery still, so I pointed it out to the other women on the car and asked if it looked like a mannequin to them. We all started staring very intensely at that head which looked very realistic but was so still, and he suddenly looked up, saw us staring, and we started laughing at the surprise of realizing it was a real dude all along. He'd been smiling as he looked up, and his smile dropped the second he saw us laugh. He must've though we were making fun of him, or laughing at him, but it was just that he surprised us by suddenly moving.

That smile drop, though... I feel so bad when I remember his expression change, I would apologize and explain what had happened if I'd met him later.

The cashier handed me my food and said, “Enjoy your meal!”
I confidently replied, “You too!”
We both froze for a second.
She smiled politely. I pretended nothing happened.
Then, for absolutely no reason, I said, “Thanks, you too” AGAIN.
I don’t know what happened to my brain in those five seconds, but apparently I was determined to make sure she enjoyed my meal too.
Anyway, I’m considering moving to another city.