So I’m on my way home around 11:00 pm at the crossroads of “I should get to bed” and “I deserve a snack” when I pass a Blaze Pizza and decide to indulge.
When I get to the door, the manager greets me with keys, in a way that almost seems I’m not allowed in. “Come on in, I’m just closing up already because the bathroom is out of order”.
I proceed to the counter, looking over my options carefully as honestly, this is only my second time here ever. I end up ordering the spicy pepperoni, and 10 minutes later I head to the register to pick it up.
When I get there, the lady says it comes with a drizzle of Mikes hot honey if I want. When in Rome, I think. Sounds great.
I pay, grab the pizza box and proceed outside to my car. I open the door and then it hits me.
The slight reluctance of the fingers in my right hand to separate triggers a moment of dread.
Something in my pizza carrying hand is not right.
Another mistake ensues. Before I confirm the exact source of this contagion, I underestimate the situation, set the pizza box down inside my car and I try to wipe the foreign substance off..with my other hand.
Now, I can confirm. Was hoping for tomato sauce or cheese. But no. This can only be the persistent work of a honeybee.
I look down at the box and see the incursion of hot sticky goo leaking out of the bottom of the box in holes of which I really do not understand the purpose of them being there.
I have two sticky hands. Not a napkin in sight. I look back at the pizza place door. Bars in place.
Dejected, I get in my vehicle and use my forearm to pull the seatbelt over my shoulder, and my knuckle to push start, but I’m still forced to grab the shifter, unknowingly spreading the disease.
The amount of honey that transferred in that misstep, and subsequently baked on while I was at work today is nothing short of slightly remarkable. But I digress.
I spend the next 5 minutes driving home, steering with my wrists before finally, the ordeal is over.
The lone bright spot to this entire situation is that I was in fact on my way home from playing a winning session of poker. So atleast I didn’t technically pay for this experience.