r/PigeonForge • u/PotentialAcadia460 • 1d ago
Dolly Parton's Stampede v. Pirates Voyage: A Review
Background: I had done the Stampede half a lifetime ago when I was in high school (albeit in Branson) and remembered enjoying the experience quite a bit; now, in a post-DP world, I was feeling nostalgic for all things Dolly and also hoped to see these dinner shows before any Dolly-specific elements were scrubbed out (spoiler alert on this part: this has mostly already happened, and may well have happened years ago. Granted, it's not like she was and center at all times in the old days of the Stampede, but I remember a brief voiceover before the show started ("well, I better scurry!" lives rent-free in my head for reasons unknown) and her appearing on video to intro the finale and to sing "Color Me America." Other than a few vocals in both shows, including most of CMA still being intact sans visuals, if you didn't know either was a DP show without looking at the sign, you might never figure it out, especially for the young who have no real idea who she is). I had wondered about the difference between the Stampede and Pirates, and figured I might as well give my spin on the shows in case this might help anyone else make a decision. Pirates seemed to be the unanimous favorite based on feedback, but sometimes I have contrarian tastes. So which Dolly dinner theater offers the better experience? Let's look at each component of the experience to find out:
Preshow: Stampede. In fact, everything prior to entering the arena is easily superior at the Stampede. You have the "world famous" horsewalk, a gift shop, and a long, meandering path from the entrance before you reach the preshow area, none of which is life-changing, but it adds a bit to the experience and makes it feel a bit grander than it otherwise might. Then there's a decently-sized preshow area with seating and standing room, a bar, and a bluegrass trio performing. I thought this trio was excellent, and the whole experience waiting for the show was surprisingly pleasant and enjoyable.
By contrast, while the brochure will say you can arrive up to an hour in advance just like at Stampede, the reality is that you have no real incentive to arrive early or linger at Pirates. You can see the sea lions outside of Pirates-in a sad little area no more adorned than the horse stalls at the Stampede. Once you get your ticket, you are funneled immediately into the holding area, which has a huge bar directly in front of you, a gift shop, and basically nothing else. There's no entertainment here, only "pirate trivia," but playing on a loop on a TV like you're waiting in line at a Six Flags park with no host or entertainers to be found. There are some pews to sit down on, but not enough and off to the side. Ironically, you're treated less like waiting cattle at the show that actually features cattle.
The meal: For me, Pirates. To be clear, much of the food is the same: the soup, the biscuit, the corn on the cob, and the desserts. The Stampede has changed its menu somewhat from before, and has swapped out pork tenderloin (IIRC?) and something else that I don't recall for mashed potatoes and pulled pork. Apart from the tenderloin, I remember finding the food delicious in HS; whether my tastes have changed or the food isn't at the level as before, I couldn't tell you, but I found it all pretty forgettable. By contrast, I thought the fried chicken and ham were actually pretty decent at Pirates. The glasses also seemed larger at Pirates than at Stampede.
The arena: I wasn't sure if Pirates would have the same style of arena as the Stampede or not, and it sort of does; Pirates is considerably more vertical and the Stampede much more horizontal. I'd say Pirates is considerably more visually interesting, but the Stampede has its good points too. For one, at the Stampede, your seating is a long restaurant-style bench-I preferred this over the pizza parlor-style chairs at Pirates. Another asset of Stampede's seating area is that the audience and the performers are pretty well separated. I watched more and more parents take their children to the bathroom during Pirates and have to navigate performers, wet floors, the reality that no one is allowed on the floor when the sea lions are out, etc. This is not a thing that anyone has to worry about at Stampede, though I imagine a parent with a young child might still prefer Pirates because unless you're right at an opening, it would be pretty difficult/annoying for everyone in your row if you had to accompany your kid to the bathroom and every single person between them and the exit would have to get up to let them out. So I guess ultimately I'll go with Pirates due to superior visuals and because I don't have to worry about a child's potty emergency wreaking havoc.
The show: Pirates, easily. A lot of stunt work, sword fighting, mermaids, animals-It's considerably more captivating than the Stampede, which really takes awhile to get going and lacks the energy that I remember it having from HS (again, whether that's evolving taste on my part or because the show has changed is difficult to say definitively). I remember the horse-riding stuntwork at Stampede in my youth, and they did some basic tricks here, but it all seemed a bit tired, honestly.
The featured segment in the brochure (Butterflies for the Stampede; South Pacific for Pirates): Pirates. I get that butterflies are part of Parton's image, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a great fit for Stampede. By contrast, South Pacific brought out dancers, drummers, and people messing with fire, all of which are awesome.
Also featured on Stampede's brochure at present is Buttercup, a cute baby cow that's basically treated as Skeeter's pet, but that's pretty much exactly what Buttercup does-come out, look cute, and go away until later. You could probably see a baby animal at a zoo for less money if that's mainly what you're after.
The comedy: Stampede. Skeeter isn't exactly modern humor personified, but credit where it's due, this actor almost singlehandedly made the second half enjoyable for me, and watching the host banter with him was more entertaining than anything else they did. By contrast, there's very little that's funny about Pirates (maybe the fact that all these pirates are singing about cleaning at one point, but that's not "ha-ha" funny as much as it is funny for its absurdity). Everything funny from Pirates comes from the sea lions, which are great, but they're in far less of the show for understandable reasons.
The competition: Stampede, easily. What I like about the Stampede's competition is that it's all dependent on actual paying guests and/or animals that seem less coachable to achieve certain outcomes, and for me the tasks were more straightforward. And while displaying the number of points in a shipwheel is cool-looking, I found the medals much easier to read at Stampede. The fact that the last competition involves the entire audience is a great decision as well. For whatever reason-and perhaps this was my seating location, close to ground level with a giant ladder directly in the center of my vision-it was harder to follow the nature of the competitions at Pirates, and since more of the tasks involved the human performers, there is (IMO) a higher level of contrivance to what happens and who wins, almost like we're back at Medieval Times and we've decided beforehand that the green knight is going to win tonight, so we need to take these actions to make it happen. The Pirates show also doesn't need the "forbidden love" subplot between the two captains, but whatever. This was the one part of the actual show I have to give to Stampede.
Other/Misc: For whatever reason, Pirates had more credit card options for tip-leaving than Stampede did. At Stampede, if you were planning on tipping your server, you either need to bring cash or have a Venmo. Pirates had both of these plus tap to pay and one other option I don't recall. You would think they'd be the same, but here they are not.
Some animal bloopers were had in both shows.
-During the Stampede, we have Heroic Cowboy Guy and Beautiful Aerial Girl falling in love or something, as they do, and at the moment Beautiful Aerial Girl sat down on Heroic Cowboy Guy's mighty noble steed and they looked longingly but chastily into each other's eyes, the steed immediately undercut the moment by depositing some droppings right onto the arena floor. Perhaps he's seen this beat a few too many times.
-Shortly afterward, a second horse was very interested in using the first tabletop closest to us to scratch the bottom of his head and did so repeatedly, flaring his teeth at the audience as he did so. Both I and the guy next to me thought this was hilarious.
-Meanwhile, much smoother sailing at Pirates, but one of the ending competitions had to do with dogs jumping in the water and swimming faster than its rival. Or it was supposed to, anyway, because our dog had ZERO interest in the water and refused to jump in both times. This helped lead the other side to an easy victory.
The Stampede ends with "Yay America!" and Pirates does not. If you feel strongly about patriotism being an element you do or do not want in your dinner theater entertainment, book accordingly.
The verdict: Pirates, hands down. Not everything is in Pirates' favor, but enough is that I feel confident in saying that it would be the hands-down winner for most people IMO. The main show is considerably more impressive and feels less disjointed overall. Despite the plot not really making a lot of sense, the spectacle and visual interest is more than enough to sell the show. By contrast, Stampede, while it has its good points, feels a little phoned in at this point and like it would benefit from an overhaul.
