For context I told my boss I couldn’t work as I have been throwing up all day, but I went to pick up my paycheck for my part time job as a receptionist at a nail salon, I walked in and sat down waiting for my other boss to get back from walmart.
When I got a text saying I looked pretty good for someone who’s been throwing up all day and it was my Nanny boss.
For clarification I am wearing makeup and have a vest and jeans on. Not your typical sick day look.
My nanny boss was here getting a pedicure and I didn’t see her. Welp she came up and talked to me asking me what I was doing and that I have makeup on etc.
I told her i’m grabbing my check so I can pay my car insurance today. I don’t like going out looking bad so of course I made sure I looked decent. She didn’t seem happy and I don’t want her to think I was faking it as i’ve been nauseous and throwing up all day. What can I do? Do i let it fade out?

Edit: I HAD to pay for my car insurance
I also just sent her a long paragraph apology and how I wouldn’t lie to her as I love my nanny job but it was just supposed to be quick, as I was going into a place of my work and wanted to at least look presentable.

This is her response

“Thank you for texting. It did not look the greatest to be honest…. But I appreciate your text. My kids love you to pieces and I love you too! So, I’m glad to hear it was a misunderstanding. Get feeling better! And I’ll see you Monday.”

recently started a full-time nanny position caring for a 3-month-old baby. I work Monday through Friday, 8 AM–5 PM (45 hours a week), making $23/hour.

The mother is genuinely very kind, and I appreciate the opportunity. I don’t have extensive professional nanny experience, which is why I’m comfortable with my current rate. I’ve babysat children ages 1–10, worked as a preschool teaching assistant, and previously worked as a morning nanny for a 4-year-old. However, this is my first full-time position caring for an infant.

I also went to school for a different career, but the hours in that field were inconsistent, and I didn’t want to continue working weekends. I was looking for something with a more stable Monday–Friday schedule, which is what attracted me to nannying.

That being said, I’m finding this job much more exhausting than I anticipated.

The baby seems to be teething and has been extremely fussy throughout the day. We haven’t really been using anything specifically to soothe his gums. He often cries during diaper changes, clothing changes, and when I’m trying to put him down for naps. He prefers being held most of the time, and getting him to sleep can be challenging.

The mother works from home and primarily breastfeeds, although I occasionally give him bottles.

In addition to caring for him, I’m expected to wash bottles, fold and put away laundry, organize things around the house, and help with other miscellaneous household tasks, particularly during his naps.

The difficulty is that he often contact naps. I understand that I’m technically sitting down while holding him, but I don’t really consider that a break because I’m still responsible for him and can’t freely do anything else.

When I do manage to put him down in his crib, he typically only sleeps for about 30 minutes. That leaves me very little time to complete the household tasks, wash bottles, and eat my own lunch before he’s awake and needs me again.

I work nine hours straight without a designated lunch break, and by the time I get home, I’m completely physically and mentally exhausted. Some evenings I end up falling asleep for hours because I’m so drained.

Another thing I’m wondering about is compensation and benefits. I currently don’t have a written contract, paid time off, or paid sick days. I understand that I’m newer to nannying and don’t have years of infant experience, so I’m not expecting the highest rate, but I’m wondering what’s considered reasonable for a position like this.

I really don’t want to sound ungrateful or lazy. I care about doing a good job, and I know caring for an infant isn’t supposed to be easy. I’m just trying to figure out whether what I’m experiencing is normal for a full-time nanny position or whether there are things I should be discussing with the family. She also does ask me to stay late like an extra hour. Sometimes it’s last minute.

For those of you who have experience nannying infants:

Is it normal to feel this exhausted after nine-hour shifts, especially when you’re just starting?

Do you consider contact naps a break, or are you still fully on duty?

Is $23/hour reasonable for this position given my experience and responsibilities?

Is it common to have no PTO, sick days, or written contract?

How do you manage household tasks when the baby only takes 30-minute crib naps and you barely have time to eat?

I’d really appreciate honest feedback from experienced nannies. I’m trying to understand what’s reasonable to expect and whether I just need more time to adjust. It’s only week 2 and I’m just exhausted. My body is sore from the constant holding and drained from the fussiness all day with no break.

I also would feel terrible so leaving so soon if it’s not the right fit idk what to do.

I love my NF, minus DB. He is the most selfish person I have ever met. Now I may be overreacting about some things but the build up is getting to me.
-He makes me stay when I’m not taking care of NK’s, ex: family will come and NK will go out with the family and I’ll be stuck at the house doing nothing. He works from home so it’s just awkward when there’s nothing for me to do.
-He’s constantly asking me to come in early but won’t even let me leave 10 minutes before my shift ends
-I asked for time off (just one day) to tour colleges to which he agreed, then a week before I reminded him and he said I need to come in the morning because he had meetings.
-He never spends time with his kids, it’s heartbreaking. When I leave they go straight to the screens so he can do whatever. Which is another reason he doesn’t like when I take time off.

There’s so many more reasons as to why I hate him and I’ve found another job set for January which works well with my college schedule but I haven’t told them yet because I still need a job until then…. Unless something comes up I genuinely don’t know what to do … I hate coming in because of him.

I’ll start off by saying I love my job. Love the kids, love the parents, i think it’s my unicorn family for sure and I have no issue with the following, I just wanted some opinions.

MB and DB both work from home, which is fine, because the kids generally have a good enough time to remember that they’re even in the house. The oldest one (8) will sometimes go into dads office to say hi or ask a question, and he often times doesn’t mind at all. It doesn’t put a stop to anything we’re doing and nk doesn’t hang around or cling to him if given the chance. the rest of the kids are under 4, so they have each other to really keep themselves distracted.

Anyway. DB will sometimes leave his office, go into the shed in the yard, and spark up a joint during his break. The kids are often napping at this point and i’ll just be hanging out with NK(8) playing, drawing, etc. We usually stay in the basement because that’s where the play room is. So nobody really sees him or knows what he’s doing (other than me and MB). He’ll come and interact with the kid/kids for a little bit before heading back into his office.

I don’t see an issue with this. He has hired help to watch the kids, and he keeps it private in the back of the yard where the kids aren’t allowed to go. I’ve never seen him acting out of the ordinary, he’s as good as sober except for the little stink that trails in after him sometimes.

I told my mom about this, because I thought it was funny, and she did not laugh. She thinks that’s super inappropriate and that he should be setting a better example for his kids. I told her it’s his business in a legal state, and that you’d never know otherwise (aside from all the grateful dead paraphernalia around xD) because he’s super discreet and doesn’t leave anything around. She still doesn’t think it’s okay.

So…what do yall think? We live in a legal recreational state. The man has a desk job where he doesn’t interact much except for the occasional zoom call.

And he’s an awesome dad, which is more than i can say for many of the sober ones i’ve worked for.

ETA: For those pointing out me discussing this with my mother, I understand what you mean. I personally didn’t see harm in sharing, as it was relevant to our conversation on marijuana, but I understand that it may seem like a breach of privacy and will be more mindful.

I am a first time mom, and I'm a single mom. My mom passed away when I was a young girl, and my sister isn't around aka we don't talk anymore as she has distanced herself from the family. I'm from another state so I don't know a lot of people here. However one of my friends introduced me to "someone from church who is a mom wanting to help me when I had just given birth and home alone. One day I was crying and stressed about affording childcare. She told our mutual friend who introduced us that she wanted to offer to be my nanny right away but didn't want it to be weird. However once I mentioned my worries she offered to care for him for 60 dollars a day I was elated. I was wanting to work 4 days a week and I could handle that . Then when we started she said she will be expecting 1300 a month and saying that we agreed upon 65 dollars a day. I asked her if we could do 60 since I'm now working all 5 days of the week. She basically said no, and gave me her two week notice.

I felt bad and said it's not that I don't appreciate you it's just that I truly can't afford it and I thought u were so wanting to help me out, and I only work 4-6 hours a day. Plus he's an easy baby- she said so herself

But she was adamant about the pay. Same thing with taxes I mentioned that since we were planning on doing things above board for my tax credits. That's when she said we can do above board if I pay her 1600 a month otherwise she can't because she would get screwed with taxes. Meanwhile I'm freshly back at work with my 4 month old baby don't know who else to turn to so I say ok let's just compromise for now and I'll start looking for something less money more certifications CPR etc, more time for my kid since she has to home school her kids. I recently decided to look for someone new to watch my son but hadn't mentioned it

NOW HERES the part that has me mind blown, confused, worried, scared. She told me this morning she had a dream that my baby "passed away." I was so annoyed she knows I'm struggling with post partum depression.
So I responded that's terrible and horrendous and she said, "I know right and in my dream this that and the other happened. In detail she described my child dying and in the dream her and I and a guy took him to hospital but he didn't make it.!!!!!!!!

Wtf right????? I feel that is so beyond out of line and uncalled for and what reality would think that's a normal thing to say while my son is in your care and I'm trying to get through work

Additionally- if you agree it's weird and out of line- how do I let her know I need to let her go

I'm not a nanny anymore. I now work in an elementary school in a position where I see 400 kids weekly and get to have all kinds of relationships. While I was working on my masters degree, though, I worked as a nanny for one family. I started when the little girl was 4 months old. I was full time with her (M-F 35-40 hours a week) until she was 3 and then we dropped to half-time as I got a part-time position and she started preschool.

My last full time with her was the summer before she went into kindergarten and I got a full time job in my career. At first, we kept in contact. I texted. I asked to meet up or if they needed anything and I babysat sporadically, but eventually I didn't want to be annoying or weird so I stopped reaching out. I reached out offering summer care a few years back and they told me that they had found someone who was with them during the year and would be doing it.

That's fine, but all contact stopped. I used to get a Christmas card or I'd text on her birthday. I genuinely was crushed and it was like grieving. There was pits in my stomach and tightness in my chest. I had spent every single work day with this girl since she was four months old. I helped *raise* her. I was her best friend until she was five and her preferred adult (which, in hindsight, I think rubbed her older working mom in a difficult way). I have since learned to live with this grief and you know time has softened that missing her and I mostly avoid looking at pictures of her, but it's hard because my phone was full of them for four years.

I was scrolling tonight through pictures and it hit me again. The pit in my stomach as I thought about how this little girl who was everything to me probably didn't remember me in a significant way. I don't even know how she's grown up into a nearly 10 year old girl. It doesn't happen often, but tonight it hit and I thought there is no one else who can really understand this feeling other than the people here.

You put every bit of your heart into these kids (or maybe that is just me lol) and, at the end of the day, it's a job and you are at the whims of your employers just like any other job. This is more of a vent more than anything and a reaching out into the void to see if I'm just over-sensitive and empathetic or what. I hope you all have wonderful loving families that respect the difference you make in their child's life!

*JUST FOR FUN\*

I’ll go first!

Becoming a nanny made me realize:

•that I don’t want kids
•that my favorite age group to work with are infants!

Your turn!

Am I overreacting?

I just started a new job working for an Indian family taking care of a 3 month old.

On Tuesday I was asked to cut raw chicken, broccoli and sweet potatoes for their dinner once again i take care of a 3 month old so it's not for the baby.

On Wednesday I was told that the grandma will be coming over next week to teach me how to make Indian food once again why would I need to know that ?.

And today I have to do the parents laundry and bed sheets

What does me taking care of your baby have to do with me folding your underwear?.

Am I overreacting?

I’m a caregiver with over 10 years of childcare experience, and I’m honestly feeling pretty hurt and confused by something that happened with a family I’ve been regularly working with for the past few months. I’d really appreciate perspectives from both caregivers and parents.

I’ve been caring for their infant almost every week/every other week since 4-5 months, and over that time, I’ve developed a really lovely bond with the baby and what I thought was a genuinely good relationship with the parents.

I’ve always tried to be especially accommodating with this family. Despite my usual hourly rate for infant care, I’ve been consistently accommodating and charged them considerably lower than my usual rate. I’ve also accepted last-minute bookings without additional fees and have occasionally held availability for them until the last minute. I genuinely adore their baby and have always enjoyed caring for her.

We had another booking scheduled for tomorrow, but tonight (13 hrs before the booking), the mom sent me a message with instructions for the next day and casually mentioned that the baby had been dealing with a stomach bug and will likely have frequent bowel movements tomorrow.

This was the first I’d heard about the illness.
I was honestly caught off guard because I don’t provide care for children experiencing potentially contagious symptoms/illnesses. I regularly work with multiple families, including young infants, and I try to be very mindful of potentially transmitting illnesses between households.

We hadn’t really had an explicit conversation about sick time care (in contagious situations), so I understand that the parents might not have known my boundaries. However, I also didn’t think it was unreasonable to expect a parent to disclose a potentially contagious illness and check whether their caregiver was comfortable proceeding.

I sent a warm, respectful message explaining that I wasn’t aware the baby had been sick and that I generally require 48 hours without vomiting or diarrhea before resuming care. I apologized for the inconvenience and wished their baby well.

The mom hearted my message and then changed it to a thumbs up 10 mins later instead. Since there was no reply, I felt like she was disappointed.
And then a couple of hours later, I discovered that she’d removed me from her Facebook friends. (She wanted to add me when I first started working with them, I do not prefer to add families on FB otherwise)
We had still been friends when I sent the message, so this happened shortly afterward.

I know a Facebook friendship isn’t necessarily a big deal, but given our relationship, the timing honestly stung. It made me feel like months of flexibility, accommodation, and genuinely loving care were suddenly overshadowed by one occasion where I needed to establish a professional boundary.

I’m not upset that she might have been disappointed about losing childcare at the last minute. I completely understand that arranging childcare can be stressful, especially with a sick baby.

What bothers me is that I wasn’t informed about the illness until the evening before, and the message seemed to assume I’d be comfortable caring for a child who might still be symptomatic.
I also feel sad because I’d developed such a strong attachment to their baby, and I genuinely thought I had a good relationship with the family.

I’m now questioning whether I handled this appropriately or whether my expectations regarding sick-child disclosures are unreasonable.

For other nannies/babysitters: Would you have handled this differently? Do you consider stomach bugs a reason to decline care, even if the family hasn’t previously discussed a sick-child policy?

For parents: Would you be upset if your regular babysitter declined care under these circumstances? Would you expect them to care for your child while they’re recovering from a stomach bug?

I’m genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives.

Parents Traveling to New Zealand

Hello!

I have a family who has two cats, two dogs, a 12-year-old and a 16-year-old…. The mom and dad are traveling to New Zealand November 29- December 14. We live in NC. (they also just got a new puppy, but haven’t told me yet I saw from social media.) ( also two days when they get back they are taking the kids to nyc until the 22 for their Christmas gifts…. Money is not an issue).

I’ve babysat for this family on and off as the children have grown up. I regularly housesit/dog sit for them.

While they’re away for 16 Calendar days what do you think I should charge as a flat rate. I have a number in mind however a friend told me be prepared for them to cancel…. Do you think $6400 is too much? I actually think that that’s giving them a great discount. $400 a day….. for two dogs, two cats, two minors, and a new puppy….

I’ve obviously written out a contract but tomorrow is six weeks out so I wanted to send it to them to have them go ahead and sign everything but just wanted some opinions before!

I’ve nannied for over 6 years and I’m a a middle school teacher. I’ll be responsible for all house duties and animal duties. Getting the kids up for school. The 16-year-old will drive himself to school and from school. I’ll be responsible for the 13 year-old getting to and from school as well as any extracurriculars.

I’m literally being a working mom for two weeks.

TIA

hey y’all I’m starting a new gig with a NF.. and I am scheduled to have 15 hours a week. I have 10 years professional experience with children but it’s been a while since I’ve Nannied. I am wondering if you tell them that you expect guaranteed hours per week for example if they get home early, don’t need you one day, etc?

EDIT: I completely understand the comments asking if she was ever alone with my husband. And no, I work from home and he was never home during her shift.

I’m going to try to present this with as little bias as possible. My nanny quit with out notice completely unexpectedly and I’m baffled. It’s been a week and I keep trying to figure out what we may have done to cause this and I just cannot figure it out! I feel crazy!

We were wanting to hire a nanny for my infant for a few months while I go back to work. We used a nanny for my first baby and she turned out to be available again so we thought, great! We had a really good experience with her with my first born and felt very comfortable and confident in using her again. I work mostly from home in a separate area and it’s just me while my older kid and husband are out at school and work.

She had her own contract that we all reviewed and agreed to this time around. Including all of your basic stuff like guaranteed hours, pay, schedule, tasks. She also included things like “must provide a respectful and safe environment for the nanny” which… of course. We want anyone who is in our home to be comfortable and happy especially if they are responsible for our little one!

She also had verbiage pertaining to sick kids. Like that she was ok to care for little with common illnesses as long as it’s not major and no fever and things like that. Again, of course, that seems pretty straight forward and makes total sense!

During her last week she came in for two days. Then 4 am on third day sends a text saying she’s not coming without any details. I assume something personal has come up and tell her I hope everything is ok and is no problem. I don’t hear anything the rest of the day or the next day and begin to genuinely worry about her. Because it’s so out of character. I check in with her at the end of the second day asking if everything is alright and to let me know if she needs more personal time. She responds with a very lengthy message saying that she is immediately ending her contract with us and said that she felt the terms of “providing a respectful and safe environment for the nanny” were broken.
At no point had she communicated any discomfort or issue so this came as a big shock. She was not willing to discuss anything and basically ghosted us without explanation and finished the message with a request to mail her her final check.

The ONLY thing I can think of is this:

We had her hired for about a month for regular day hours and then booked her for an additional weekend evening for 3 hrs. This was one of my husband and i’s first nights out since baby was born (~5 months). We always keep very open communication and expect her to contact us if anything came up.

We hadn’t heard from her most of the night except when we messaged her that we were headed home a little early. She said that he seemed sick and was being pretty hard to put down.

As soon as we got home we asked her how he was and she rushed out the door pretty quick seeming upset/frustraed and that she would send us her thoughts in text. And she did. It was a long message about how she felt our son was VERY sick and she thought he had fluid in his lungs and she would not be coming in on Monday as she was sure he would definitely still be very sick. We were open with her before she came that we had noticed an infrequent cough but absolutely nothing like she was describing! All night and next day we still didn’t observe what she had described.

Just to be sure we took him for a check up with his primary care and the doctor did acknowledge baby he was coughing from reflux but picked up no signs of respiratory issue.

We let the nanny know we had him checked and he still seems fine to us but we left it up to her if she was comfortable coming in on Tuesday. She came and then 2 days later is when she went silent and quit after definitely acting off the 2 days.

I just can’t figure out why that would have been it as we were very open with her about observations and left a lot of things up to her. Outside of that incident I felt i always tried to make sure she was comfortable! One day she didn’t have lunch so I made her a sandwhich! I’ve honestly felt hurt about it because I thought we had a good relationship beyond the nannying and we really trusted her. Then suddenly we were left blind sided and scrambling for back up care because a moms still gotta work!

I’m just looking for insight I guess. Has anyone left a job because of a sick kid? What would make you leave a job like that with no explanation or notice?

————————————

UPDATE

thank you so much to everyone offering thoughts, considerations, and opinions. I at least don’t feel like I’m crazy!

To answer some reoccurring questions:
-no my husband was never home during her shift
-no we do not have any nanny cams
- yes we let her know before she arrived that we observed a cough and asked if she was ok to come in. But i won’t deny that she may have seen worse symptoms in the evening when we weren’t there.

I plan to send her a text after I send the check to just open the door to but not push on an explanation. I truly hope she is ok. If she doesn’t get back, I will to my best to let it go and just move on.

Thank you again for some peace of mind!

Hello, Ive been a nanny with this family since 2023 and they have 3 kids. I love them they are so smart and funny and have an amazing family and community. Ive taught them chess, uno, have gone on 4 family vacations with them to work, go to the birthday parties etc.

That being said the oldest has always been 'sassy' but lately its crossing a line into disrespect or just plain mean to me and and I think she is getting it from her parents and Id like other parents to tell me how they see it how I should address it.

I think this because on multiple occasions now the kids have told me that their mom doesn't like me or that 'daddy thinks your lazy' which like Im trying to understand how because I do the kids laundry twice a week, clean the house like vacuumed and mopped because of the baby.

I also make their breakfast, lunches, do workbooks, take them to parks, we make hard boiled eggs. I empty and load the dishwasher daily atp. We do crafts almost everyday. So like its super disheartening to think the kids are hearing this and then parrot it back to me.

The 6 year old like because if this has been treating me like and I hate to say it, the help, when I ask her to clean up she goes, "thats your job".

I really am not sure what to do. I spoke to the kids in the car to school and was like hey, I really dont like how you've been treating me and would like you to be nicer to me because it makes me not want to play games with you or take you out places if you are choosing to speak to me like that.

Like tbf she is 6 and does have similar moments with her parents but never to the extreme it is with me. Its just that this attitude change is happening along with the comments about 'mom and dad dont like you' that has me concerned.

Thanks its also nap time and the other child is playing indepently (he kicked me out to build a giant magantile tower lol) rn if anyone is concerned how Im making this post rn.

I’ve been working with this family for about a month and it’s been ok. I unfortunately accepted a rate very low for the work they require from me, which is causing resentment.

It’s for 3 kids, $25 an hour. I have to make them breakfast and take all of them to school maybe once a week; but I’m mostly taking the smallest one to school.

Once I come back, I go to their house and fold everyone’s clothes…including the parents. It’s very exhausting folding clothes for two hours. I also have to tidy up the boys room (their room is never not a mess) I then leave, chill for a few hours, go pick them up from school and take them to said activities depending on the day. I also make everyone food once a week.

The mom will ask me to run errands here and there, I’ve picked up groceries for the house and I’ve dropped off her dry cleaning.

While on paper it isn’t alot of work, it’s alot of work for three kids worth + a picky MB. She mentioned while we were interviewing that she wasn’t picky and didn’t like to micromanage…. But I feel like that’s all I’ve been seeing from her.

I’m not sure why I find myself craving being a substitute teacher again, which was truly a lot more work BUT I did get paid more!!

I’m afraid to even ask for a raise since MB is very firm on me working no more than 25 hours a week; unless they need me then they will ask me to work more. I think DB would be more open to it, but you know happy wife happy life :)

Should I quit? I am so unsure and I’m trying to be patient and reasonable about it.

The post I’m talking about I posted on the comments.
But in case you can’t find it just click on my name and it’s the one saying “Ghosted by NP”

I made that post not even a month ago and I have realized that I have been holding too much grudges. I can’t move on from the bad feelings I have towards this family. They played me dirty and everyday I wake up this is the first thing it comes to my mind.
I was just wondering what people would have done if they were me?
I’m trying to move on but it’s stuck in my mind.

I’ve been a babysitter on and off for over 7 years but last year I was hired by a large family to cover all babysitting and nannying needed, I’m a nursing student so I do what I can. The sisters told the sisters and now I babysit/nanny for all of them.

Anyways, today I raised my voice for the first time in all my years of child care. I was asked to care for M5 for two days this week while the doula was caring for M1 at the same time. Day 1 was great, but exhausting for me, due to it being in a different home, so I didn’t know the security system etc. I could leave the house without being worried with would alert M&D, so we stayed inside and played “hot and cold” with “Peter with pillow” and then did “madlibs” kid friendly version, etc. all was good! M5 wanted to come home with me at the end of the day, so that’s a good report.

Then day two, it was more of an outside adventure day. We spent the morning on the flying turtle scooter around the front yard, then came in and watched an episode of number blocks, then went and got lunch, went to greenway, etc, I was tired. When we got home, I was so sweaty, and trying to put things away/wipe his shoes off/get waters filled up/etc. I was in the kitchen when I heard the doula (who only speaks Spanish, no English) saying “no M5, no, no”.

I was like what could have been happening within the 2 mins we got home??? So I walk into the living room to see M5 had grabbed a WHOLE LARGE WHITE BUOY and threw it into the play pen with doula and M1 then started yanking the rope and basically causing chaos and destroying the entire play pen. I just quickly, sharply, and VERY loudly said “HALAS!” (“Enough” in Arabic)

And he immediately let go of the rope, and ran toward the stairs, so I took the buoy and put it back in the room it was in, then walked to the foyer and said “you’re moms almost home” and he stopped running up and ran back down then I followed him to the couch saying “hey, I’m sorry for yelling, I was just really scared” and he said “it was too much?” I just nodded then we sat on the couch and watched YouTube kids til parents came home.

But I can’t help but feel like I ruined the past two days with this lack of voice control. I genuinely feel awful and can’t get it out of my head.
He did blow me kisses and hug me before I left, but maybe that was just bc mom and dad were there idk.

Hi everyone,

The mom I work for told me this morning she’s going to quit her job and stay home with the kids beginning ~January 1. I’ve been with them for almost two years.

I’m not sure where to go from here. I don’t think I want another nannying job, has anyone transferred their nannying skills to a different type of job? Also, I’m 27 and married and have been thinking about getting pregnant, but I’m not sure if I’m ready (is anyone ever ready?!).

I’m so sad to be leaving them :( I’ve watched the baby grow up since she was 3 months old.

I’ve noticed within my last few years of working with kids, parents put less and less time into potty training. don’t get me wrong, there are lots of good reasons why a child can be delayed with it, but i’ve noticed so many parents just don’t try hard enough and just refuse to push their kids into any type of discomfort. i’m dealing with this with my current family. NK is 4 now and is not potty trained, at all. just goes in his pull-ups. to their defense, he is neurodivergent, but does not have any specific diagnosis yet and if he were to be on the spectrum, he would be very high functioning (i have lots of experience with neurodivergent/special needs, so this is nothing new to me). i have two main issues here.
1. I don’t feel the parents are trying hard enough. they already struggle with putting up strong boundaries with him and usually never push him past any slight discomfort, and this most certainly carries into potty training. i can see proof of this with how his behavior is with me vs. with them. with me, he is pretty well behaved, especially despite the struggles he faces with being neurodivergent. i hold strong boundaries and am very clear with expectations, and this works very well. the second they get home, he will try to pull my hair, throw things, push his younger brother over, etc. besides a measly “we don’t do that”, they don’t do anything, so I’m pretty quick to leave once they’re home.

1. quite frankly, it’s starting to just get gross. i am and have been used to all the grossness kids can bring as i have been doing this for years, but there is a big difference in changing a toddlers diaper vs. a fully grown preschooler. 4 yr old poo is far bigger, and he is extremely squirming during changes and is not great at cooperating. i’m just getting really tired of it as i feel like this isn’t my job. i would absolutely get my hands dirty in potty training, cleaning up some undies that had an accident in, but this is different, and frankly it’s starting to feel weird as he’s getting older.

So i need some advice on where to go from here. Do i just suck it up and keep dealing with it until his parents decide to put in the effort, or do I put my foot down? I’m not even really sure what putting my foot down would look like/what i could say. I’ve been with them for 6 months and have no intentions of going anywhere for a long time as the younger one won’t be able to attend preschool for at least a few years, but in this time i’ve seen zero progress with it. they say they did one weekend of training with the naked method, but said he was starting to get “anxious” on the potty so they stopped. I could be more on top of training him in my 9 hours a day that i’m with him, but it feels pointless and useless if they don’t continue that work with him.

i’ve been with this family for a year but i’m getting so frustrated! the kid i nanny has horrible allergies and has been not feeling well for about two months so whenever he gets genuinely sick, it’s brushed off as allergies. he threw up multiple times yesterday and his family has the sniffles after coming back from vacation, guess who woke up sick this morning… me. my throat hurts, my nose is stuffy, and i know it’s because i caught whatever they have. i usually don’t mind getting a small cold but i have plans this weekend and i feel like im always catching something from my NK because they never take it seriously when he’s sick. he was apparently fine yesterday after work but me and his grandfather both saw him sick and down in the dumps but as soon as mom or dad take over again for the night, they tell me he’s magically better until i take over in the morning and then he’s sick again. i’m starting to feel disrespected and lied to about him 🥴

UPDATE: My nanny hates going on outings

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post!

I did want to clarify something because I got quite a few comments saying that she’s a nanny, and that she probably doesn’t want to be driven around by her employer.

The thing is, she doesn’t drive and isn’t comfortable taking public transportation alone with my toddler (which I completely understand).

So unless I’m the one driving them, my son would pretty much be stuck at home all day. This was something we specifically discussed during her interview when she told me she didnt drive before I hired her, and she was completely fine with the arrangement.

I also barely tag along on their outings. It’s usually just me dropping them off somewhere and picking them up later. On the rare occasions I do join them, it’s always discussed and planned beforehand. We’re talking maybe once a month, if that.

Anyway, onto the actual update!

I ended up messaging her about the little remarks she’s been making and how I’ve been feeling about the situation. I told her there was absolutely no pressure to respond right away and that she could take some time to think about it, and we could talk face to face the next day if she preferred.

So the next morning, we talked!

And honestly, her answer was pretty simple. She just doesn’t like going out.

There’s no anxiety involved, no issue with me driving them or being around, and nothing specific that’s bothering her. She said some days she genuinely enjoys going out with my son, especially when I drop them off somewhere and pick them up later. Other days, she’d just much rather stay home.

She explained that because she spends her entire working day outside of her own home, she sometimes just doesn’t feel like going anywhere else. Which I can understand to an extent. I mean, I don’t always feel like going places either lol.

She also acknowledged that it’s good for my son to get out of the house, explore, and do different activities, and that staying indoors all the time isn’t ideal.

We also talked about the sighing and little comments she’s been making, and she actually agreed that they were inappropriate and apologized. She said because she spends most of her day talking out loud to my toddler, she sometimes doesn’t even realize she’s saying these things or how they might come across. I appreciated her acknowledging that.

I also asked her directly whether the issue was me being the one driving them or occasionally joining them, and told her we could absolutely figure out another arrangement if that was making her uncomfortable.

But she said no, that wasn’t the issue at all. She genuinely enjoys some of our outings together. She just has days where she doesn’t want to leave the house, and she said she’ll work on that.

So we came up with a little compromise!

Going forward, whenever I send her my schedule of the days I’m able to come home early, she’ll also come up with a few places she’d like to take my son. Whether that’s the library, aquarium, soft play, or anywhere else she thinks he’d enjoy. That way she’s more involved in planning the outings rather than me always deciding where they’re going.

And with winter coming up, I’m hoping the weather will finally cool down enough for her to take him out more on her own too! Whether that’s spending time in the garden, going to the nearby park, or just taking little walks around the neighborhood and exploring. There are so many simple outdoor activities they could do together once it’s not ridiculously hot outside lol

And that’s pretty much it!

I really do adore her, and more importantly, my son absolutely adores her. She’s incredibly loving and caring with him, and this was never something I would’ve considered letting her go over. I just wanted to find a way for everyone to be comfortable while also making sure my toddler gets to experience things outside of our house.

Hopefully our little arrangement works out! ❤️

i’m a travel nanny. I only do temp positions and usually that results in close to 24/7 work.

currently on a 2 month assignment in a country that is not my own. One kiddo, 20 mo.

MB gave me the “night off” so I decided to go for dinner and a movie.

movie started at 7:30, phone wasn’t off but it was on DND.

I left the house at 5:45.

Got out around 10. To 20 texts from MB asking where I was and how she wanted to go to sleep. Mind you she has the monitor and I left her the charger for the monitor!

I got home as quick as I could, but it’s obvious she’s upset this morning….

this is a first for me. Am I totally in the wrong?

Hey everyone!

I’ve been a nanny for the last six years, and I’m planning to move to the Seattle area in about two years. I want to use these next couple of years to make myself as competitive as possible for higher paying positions with families who can afford to pay a livable wage for the area.

I’m close to finishing an associate degree in business, and I’m trying to decide whether it would be worth pursuing another associate degree in Early Childhood Education or if an ECE certificate would be just as valuable to potential employers.
I’m also a certified Newborn Care Specialist and postpartum doula, but I’m struggling with how to actually break into that side of the industry. Most of my newborn experience has been helping friends with their babies, so I’m trying to figure out how to gain more professional infant and newborn experience and start putting those certifications to use.

For those of you working in or hiring for higher paying nanny or family assistant positions, what education, certifications, or experience do you think have actually made you more competitive? I’d love to hear what families seem to value and what you think is worth investing in!

For context i take care of 2 toddlers who are basically the same age.

If your nanny arrives after breakfast, it shouldn’t be her responsibility to clean up the mess that was left behind. ESPECIALLY if nanny doesnt leave behind any dinner mess for you to clean up.

If you want your nanny to do laundry then make sure washer and dryer are empty. And if you think its not that hard to move the clothes, then you should do it, since its not hard.

If the trash can is full in the morning then empty it. Because if your nanny takes care of multiples she/he/they will need to throw trash away throughout the day. (Pouches,left over food etc)and again, if you think its not hard to just take the trash out, then you do it. Thats not the nanny’s job.

If you want your child’s hair brushed then leave the hair brush and detangling spray in an accessible spot to your nanny. ESPECIALLY if the nanny takes care of multiples. Its not easy moving from room to room in a 2 story house with essentially zero baby proofing with 2 very mobile and very curious toddler to find a hair brush!

Lastly, if you nanny takes care of multiples, please for the love of whatever you believe in, BABY PROOF! Do not set your nanny up for failure in the safety department. And always set boundaries for your children!