1. A slip-up is not a total failure. I slipped up on the fifth day. That doesn’t mean "it was all for nothing." It’s just an old, automatic response. The brain changes slowly.
   
2. Fantasy is not an enemy. Dreaming, reflecting, and imagining—that’s all normal. The problem isn’t the fantasy itself; the problem arises when it replaces real life. Fantasy used to save me. I’m not at war with it.
   
3. "Getting rid of it" is a poor goal. I spent the whole week just fighting—and I ended up exhausted. The goal isn’t to "eliminate" it, but to live in such a way that it doesn’t take me over completely. It’s about making choices: sometimes stepping away, and sometimes choosing to stay.
   
4. The fantasy is fading. It used to bring euphoria; now, it offers only a dull sense of relief. It’s not the same anymore. And neither am I.
   
5. I met "Liza"—my true self. I liked her. I miss her when I’m away. That is my motivation. It’s not about what I "must" do; it’s about wanting to be with myself.
   
6. I am too harsh with myself. That’s my mother’s voice—it has become my own. I have the right not to listen to it.
   
7. I am exhausted. This isn’t laziness; my reserves are completely depleted. The cure is rest, not some heroic feat.

P.S. This is an intermediate result for me. Of course, the ultimate goal is to find a healthy way to cope. But I have truly been overly critical of myself—to the point where I tried to forbid myself from thinking altogether.

For context Ive had a rough childhood and been making worlds in my head to escape everything. Im now in my early twenties and things have only gotten worse (One of the reasons is that I relied too much on MDD for my quick dopamine and never really got anything done). Now im in deep financial strain and going nowhere career wise so i realized I had to face my MDD head on and finally get over this habit.

First week was rough. VERY rough. I basically quit in the worst possible way, essentially i entered my world as if everything was normal and i was about to start another 3-4 hour session where Im my happiest and everyone loves me and thinks im the coolest person alive. BUT IN ACTUALITY I set up the scene but had all the characters look me in the eyes and tell me "This isnt real" At first it was a real thunderclap, but as i kept repeating an repeating it in every senerio i cherished so deeply the tears began to come out ( in real life) and by the end of it I was standing infront of the mirror staring at myself for 10 minutes (also in real life).

Now im going unto almost a week without having MDD, i took some precutions and removed some triggers, namely music. I think the world I manufactured to give me hope, worth and happiness is gone for good. Ofcourse it still beckons me over for a quick hit, but I know its just empty joy. I've never considered or called myself deppressed since its a medical condition that needs evaluation to confirm it and I want to show respect to everyone who has it and the severity of it. But i just dont know what else I could be feeling. Without the dopamine I feel so hollow, so tired of waking up every morning to the same bare walls, same cold streets, same fake smiles.

In the end I dont reget what I did. I feel grounded and present. I feel closer to myself and trying to show myself more compassion. At the same time Real Life has unfurled its wings over me at full span. I struggle to move. I not someone who believes Life gets better, but I am someone who believes WE can make life better. So im not giving up, Most of the world cant understand us but for the people who do Thank you. I wish i found you sooner and you found me. Take care.

This happened twice today, all of sudden, and the realization destroyed me. I'm 30, never worked, never lived on my own, never been anywhere, never travelled, never had friends or any kind of relationships. Instead I just daydreamed nonstop in high school, college and in my 20s. The only lives I've ever lived were the ones in my head.

I had a doctor's appointment today, one of the rare reasons I ever leave the house, and we drove past the neighborhood of my high school. My high school experience was hell, I was ditched by my best and only friend even though we moved to the same school so we could remain together. I became the lonely weirdo who didn't talked to anyone, and that's who I still am. It was the beginning of the end for me.

As we drove past those streets, memories took over me and I had to fight back tears. But I didn't remembered anything real, all I could think of were the "alternate realities" I experienced in my head. Like when I'd arrive to lab classes alone, spend that one hour alone, and then go back home alone, in perfect silence. But in my head, I imagined being this idealized version of myself: beautiful, charming, intelligent, beloved by all. I imagined myself laughing with my friends, or having the boy I had a crush on, as my boyfriend, carry me on his back as part of some bet we made and he lost. During those summers we'd go to the beach, and the entire time I'd imagine he was there with me, like an imaginary friend.

A few minutes ago I felt an urge to look up the area surrounding the office I interned during one year in college, which remains my only professional experience. Even though it was just through street view on google maps, I also was moved nearly to tears. And yet again, my mind was flooded with memories from the daydreams I had at the time. There were these beautiful houses there, and I imagined living there.

For a few seconds I had this vivid feeling that I was about to step into that daydream. That used to happen more often during my early 20s, but now it's extremelly rare. But for a few seconds I was that beautiful blonde girl in that little a-line red dress I saw in Zara getting ready to celebrate Christmas. I don't know why but that was the main "scene" I'd go over and over back then. I'd imagine how I would invite the people at my internship to the party, how beautiful my family's house would be, how full of joy it would become as everyone would be happy and laugh.

I've gone through so many alternative realities in my head. I wish at least one of them were real. I wish I could live a little before it's too late.

On TikTok, there are tons of videos about how to stop maladaptive daydreaming, and many people genuinely want to get rid of it. But I honestly can’t imagine my life without these daydreams; sometimes, they are literally the only thing saving my mental health—and, at times, perhaps even my physical well-being. I always just scroll past those videos.

How do I even escape this.

I had an ex situationship from nearly 2 years ago, we played the chase game for a while but it’s gotten to the point where I should know that it’s over, he no longer wants to keep in contact and I know I am better than that. I have gone on long solo trip, I have numerous hobbies alongside a full time job and have completed courses and all sorts of things and yet I find myself maladaptive daydreaming about him and his friends being so impressed with all my achievements since we ended things, i know it’s a bit odd but it’s some sort of external validation thing I’m craving. All my daydreams centre around this and despite me doing so much with my life, staying distracted as people recommend and even doing inner work I cannot shake this scenario. Does anyone have any advice?

I’m curious, I know i definitely can’t be the only one but there’s no way to ask a normal person who doesn’t struggle with this. Pacing back and forth for hours makes you look crazy, doesn’t it? I can spend hours doing that, so much that my feet become sore to walk. So I started keeping track of my steps. Usually I’d average about let’s say 10-25k steps, well I can assume the increase of stress has rewarded me with a new record of 43k steps of maladaptive daydreaming alone as of now. everyday is a little fun game of breaking records, I thought this amount was normal for working people always on the move, but reactions around me say otherwise.

So for the past weeks I’ve been doing this nonstop to the point my feet hurt I’m getting blisters and bleeding from under the hard calluses I’ve made from doing this too over the years. I can barely walk my calf’s are sore, however when I get that urge I push through it and honestly the pain also distracts me so I mind and don’t mind. I should probably stop but I can’t, finish my college work? Something productive? No stress over not doing it and spend hours walking.

But yeah it’s never gotten this bad, so I’m curious to compare and relate.

Does anyone just, feel like they wasted their entire childhood, teenage years and young adult years? Daydreaming has been my coping mechanism so I'm learning to forgive myself, but it's so hard not to regret everything and feel like a "chud." Especially after having a big talk with someone in my family saying how I need to get out and get a life and that I missed so many opportunities growing up. I know he means well and I'm not giving any excuses, but it still hurts to have that regretful wound open again. Does anyone else feel this way? I still struggle with daydreaming. I'm close to my 20's and it's so embarrassing.

I have no one to talk to and I feel so lonely. I just want to go out and meet new people but I am introverted and shy. I want to start dating but I met no one and don’t have any options. I lack friendships and relationships. All I do is daydream but even that is not enough anymore. I feel like a caterpillar inside a cacoon. I want change and to become a butterfly but I am stuck inside.

How can I get rid of it? I spend the whole day on it, which causes me to lose touch with real life and neglect my household chores. When I see a video on TikTok, an "edit" (a montage-style sequence) immediately starts playing in my head; I begin pacing back and forth around the room, and this just goes on endlessly. Later, it evolves into interacting with an AI bot. I’m already so tired of this—I’ve been suffering from it for years.

So i have seen and read many success stories of some of y'all who managed to quit this dirty trap. I read those reports and got quite motivated.. I have been trying to quit on and off now for many months since maybe start of this year.

What i came to is that the pull and urges to day dream is very severe in my case. Nothing have pleasure enough as much as day dreaming. i can play a video game, read books, watch youtube.. But for some reason day dreaming is just the most rewarding aspect of my day.. I can be with friends and still get urges to be in my mind.. I can do whatever.

i kind of knew what maladaptive daydreaming was and i knew i did it but i never really paid attention to how much it affected me. a few days ago i read some threads on here and decided to try to work on it. in my case it doesn’t have an obvious awful influence on my life, from the outside i have friends, hobbies, i do well at uni etc, but i always had this disconnect on who i am or what my life looks like compared to what i think it should be.

i spend so much on my energy on being inside my head that, while i am technically a functioning member of society, i feel like i am doing the absolute bare minimum when i could be doing so much more, when it comes to hobbies, skills, friendships, jobs etc.

so i decided to work on decentralizing MD as a way to cope/spend free time and so far i'm trying to instantly realise when i’m doing it just so i’m aware and oh my god i am literally doing it always, every minute of my day, only exception is when i’m actively engaging with other people. other than time, it seems to be the main, or maybe only way i process things.

i don’t know how to think of something without imagining that i’m explaining it to someone. i can’t think of what i would like to do with my friends without a very in-depth scenerio of us doing it. whenever i listen to music i imagine myself performing the song, or seeing the artist in concert, or i create a music video for it in my head. i can’t do nothing, like meditate, cause i alwayssss have a crazy detailed world playing in my head and then i’m kind of sad that my life doesnt live up to that. i know we all struggle with it here but omg is it normal to have it to this extent? like, i literally don’t know how to THINK without md-ing

realizing it is kind of scary cause i just spent my entire life polishing this habit and now it’s deadass all i know, the only way to exist in the world and in my head. it's probably connected to my adhd and autism, but while i'm kind of okay with my mind always being so loud and chaotic, i guess i would like those thoughts to be...... more grounded in reality?

i mostly want to know it it’s normal/common to deal with it to this extent, but also if anyone has any resources, books, tips, whatever for a newbie like me i would really appreciate it. most things i’ve seen are directed at people who struggle with it a lot but are also able to sometimes be normal, even if it’s with some effort lol basically i'm an entire adult asking strangers to explain to me how to think 🫠

I was told by multiple people that cutting out short form dopamine would be beneficial for adhd (e.g. screen time, scrolling, TikTok) and replacing it with other things like reading, colouring, sitting in silence. I’m scared it might be more harmful than beneficial to me. Does anyone have experience with this?

I'm posting here because my brain has completely retreated into fantasy land forever and it's destroying my ability to function in the real world. I’m 19, and for the last three years, I have been locked in an intense maladaptive daydreaming loop centered entirely around a former teacher/mentor of mine [49F]. To me, she is the most flawless, perfect person to ever exist. I spend hours pacing or lying in bed staring at her pictures, creating hyper-detailed scenarios where we are alone together, she's comforting me, and telling me I'm enough. It's a coping mechanism for my childhood trauma, but it's wired my reward system completely to her—if a task doesn't involve her, I experience severe executive paralysis. I can't work, study, or function.

The worst part is the physical trigger: she lives literally one street over from me (a 5-minute walk). Because houses block my view, I can't see her place, which makes my brain fill the void with even more daydreaming. We haven't had an actual face-to-face greeting since March. Everything else has just dwindled down to occasional waves when she drives past my block. I recently followed her 17-year-old daughter on Instagram just to have a silent, physical anchor to her real world, but we've never spoken.

I know her life is incredibly heavy and highly restricted by personal responsibilities at home, which makes me feel incredibly guilty for wasting my time obsessing over a fantasy while she deals with real-world pressure. I desperately want to break this 7-month silence and find a natural, low-effort way to say a normal hello to her in real life, but my brain prefers the safe fantasy loop.

Note on privacy: I respect her completely and will never share names, locations, or actual private data in DMs. I just want to discuss the neighborhood social layout.

Please, no generic lectures to 'just move on.' If you deal with avoidant daydreaming, or have tips on how a quiet guy can snap out of fantasy land long enough to use a neighbor/Instagram link to casually get back on a mentor's radar, please send me a DM. I need a private sounding board to figure out a realistic next step.

I have always been a daydreamer, but Michael has been taking up too much of my mind. I can’t stop and I’m embarrassed to ask for help. I already have adhd and depression.
Please help. I want it to stop. I want my own life back

I have been smoking weed occasionally and i find it intensifies my maladaptive daydreaming, I think I'm becoming addicted

I realized that the extreme dreaming ive been doing the last 8 months has sucked all the love i have for my real life spouse out of me, and it's like going from a dream to a nightmare instead of reality. My spouse is wonderful, and loves me exactly as I am. But in my imagary world I was with someone else. Someone perfect, and i was perfect. I had countless friends, was successful in every way, and had unlimited resources. Of course my real little life couldnt keep up.

Embarrassingly enough the main trigger was getting bed bugs about a year ago. I started relying on dreaming more, like I used to as a child. I couldn't really leave the house until my bed bug treatment was done, and the anxiety, shame, and embarrassment made me completely isolate and remove myself from reality.

Now the threat of bed bugs are gone, and im left with my real life spouse who feels like a stranger. And I feel terrible. No one is perfect, and i am mortified by the fact I tried to replace them with someone who is, even if it was just an imaginary person. We barely spend time together, and our bedroom life has diminished to 0 due to my comparing them to my imaginary partner. But I spoke to my actual spouse about it, and because they are wonderful, they completely loved on me and supported me. Suggested i try to just limit the time I spend with my imaginary partner.

But as soon as I told my real life spouse about the world ive been living in all these months, the illusion shattered. Idk if I could go back. Idk if I want to. But the grief is soul crushing. I want to break down and cry. I miss the people in the world. I miss who I was and what I had.

I am starting therapy again, getting a new psychiatrist, and am looking at starting up a few old hobbies again. I know this is a coping mechanism, and that it feels the same as the substance addictions ive already had to quit in the past. This is honestly harder than staying sober from drugs and alcohol right now. I miss my world. I feel so empty. But I love my spouse. They are real and imperfect, but they look at me like I am everything they could ever want. I hope to god I can return to reality and deal with my shit for them. I cannot be perfect, but I can be present, and right now that's all they want from me.

I have 2 main shows that trigger mine. One isn't made anymore and I don't watch too often so it doesn't happen all that much, until I decide to rewatch. And it's usually manageable.

The other I hadn't watched for years until my favourite actor joined the show and I've been drawn back to it and it's on 4 days a week so it's hard to escape from too much. Though I hadn't watched before he joined for a good couple of years, it would sometimes still be triggered by like online articles about it and stuff, but it was fine and never too major in terms of intensity.

Though since he joined over a month ago, it's not been too major (again, manageable), the other day one literal scene has triggered this so much that it's just taken over my mind to the point it's just all I'm thinking about (more than just thinking, but I'm sure you all understand what I mean).

It's almost a love/hate relationship with maladaptive daydreaming. Times like this, I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel odd/weird by setting off my anxiety and mental health.

It's like I need to find/use a coping mechanism for this, which has always been a coping mechanism.

I'd just be spending time talkingking with my comfortable character, to be honest

M20 and having a hard time trying to get into anything at all atp. anyone else who have daydreamed 24/7 for a really long time that it destroys your focus completely and you just drift into your dreams and cant concentrate properly or need to put more energy into just let the words enter your brain and make sense of them without drifting. its so bad i drift off even when im driving. and i despair easily due to the fact that i didnt build anything at all during the time i should have done so. and i also used to suffer from severe OCD, so OCD and MDD were basically my life for the past 4 years. atp watching movies and long form content feels productive.

Hello, just wanted to vent here. I've been maladaptive daydreaming since my childhood to escape my unbearable feelings and hatred for myself due to trauma. Now that i'm older, I recognized that I needed to stop but i was still in that dissociative state and i was still holding onto the daydreaming.

Everytime i try to stop, I get this huge feeling of pain and depression. Like it's huge hollowness and despair that is uncontrollable, and I can't stop crying and shaking. I can barely sleep when it happens and the morning after is almost the same, I just want to cry again and the feeling doesn't leave. Most advice I see online is to not stop completely at once and to take it slowly, but everytime i do it again i know i'm gonna have to stop one day and the feelings just get back, it's like a never ending loop... I don't know what to do. It's like I can't accept reality, it's too painful

Does anybody else feel that way? How do you cope? I am so lost right now I don't know what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated